Parents know when something is “off” with their child. Baby suddenly gets extra fussy, or seems to be hungry all the time, or isn’t sleeping like he or she used to. Maybe it’s a combination of these factors. Either way, things are not quite right with your baby.

Before you panic and call the pediatrician, consider your child’s age. What you’re experiencing could simply be a growth spurt. When my nursing son hit the one month mark, it seemed like all he wanted to do was eat. Considering that that was all he had done for the first four weeks of his life, it was nearly unfathomable that he might want to eat even more than what he was already consuming. But he did! Because, as it turned out, it was a growth spurt.

Growth spurts can be sometimes difficult to identify but, in general, they occur around the first few days after arriving home from the hospital, then at about 1 week old, 2-3 weeks, 4-6 weeks, 12 weeks, 16 weeks, 6 months and 9 months. In addition, after one year of age, growth spurts may occur again every few months or so until your child becomes a teenager. Of course, as with most things baby related, your timing may vary a bit. Growth spurts usually last two or three days.

Signs of a growth spurt include:

• Baby is hungry all the time

• He or she frequently wakes at night to eat

• Baby is more fussy or cranky than usual

For nursing moms, if your baby seems to be hungry all the time, just go along with it and feed your baby when he or she wants to eat. Don’t worry about running out of milk; your milk supply will adjust to your baby’s needs. In addition, if you are nursing, you might also be hungrier or thirstier while your baby is experiencing a growth spurt. It’s nature’s way of telling you that you need to eat more for baby. Just eat or drink more each day (opting for healthy foods such as fruits and vegetables and plenty of water, of course.)

If bottle feeding, bring on the bottles! Remember that babies are simply incapable of overeating. If he or she is fussing and seems hungry, try giving a bottle.

Have you ever gone to a baby store recently? There are so many products available that it’s overwhelming! Many first time parents wonder how many items they really need. Of course, everyone knows that you need diapers, clothes, and, if you aren’t nursing your child, bottles. You’ll also need a crib and a car seat. But beyond that, what do you REALLY need?

I’ve raised quite a few babies: our 6th child is due in August. I’ve learned a lot over my parenting career, mostly from my mistakes. I’ve spent a lot of money I really didn’t have to spend on too many gizmos I thought I needed, and I’ve not spent enough money other items that I actually did need. Right now, I’m creating a must have list as we are beginning to shop for our impending arrival. Read on to see my list!

Health Care Items

Many stores sell health care packages. Everything is nicely contained in a cute container and it looks so appealing. Usually, the price tag is expensive, but it’s worth it. Right? Wrong. You are paying for a bunch of items that you will never use and that cute container. Buy the items separately as you need them, if you need them. Store them in an inexpensive container.

There are two exceptions to this rule: a bulb syringe and nail clippers are an absolute necessity. Look for the syringe that is easy to clean and that has a safety tip. When purchasing the nail clippers, but the kind with the built up handle. They are easier to use.

While you are making purchases, consider buying a cool mist vaporizer. When your little one is congested, a vaporizer is so helpful!

Medicines

When your little one is sick, you’ll want to be prepared. Keep some items on hand now for future use. Some medicines to have include: Gas Drops, infant Tylenol drops, and salt water nose drops.

Comfort Care

The transition from the comfort of the womb to the “real world” can be a real shock for babies. There are a bunch of comfort care products on the market which help to soothe a crying or fussy baby. These are the items I am purchasing for our new baby.

Baby swings are worth every single penny they cost. Most babies love to sit in the swing; for some of my children, a swing was the only thing that helped with their colicky times. When purchasing a swing, look for one that has both a battery and electric option. If you choose to purchase the swing that just runs on batteries, buy re-chargeable batteries and a battery charger. Otherwise, this product can be expensive. I truly haven’t found that the models with the music and sounds work any better than the “regular” model. Don’t worry about that so much! If you can, check to see that the swing has different positions for the seat. For younger infants, it is helpful to have a seat that can recline. Otherwise, a tiny infant will slump over in the seat. Models that have several speeds are also helpful.

A baby sling is so helpful! I have used one for all of my children and I’ve found that it really helps reduce their crying. It is also great for busy moms because you have both hands free to fold laundry or do the dishes. Slings have been used by generations of mothers to calm their crying infants because it works. Many slings are available nowadays in a variety of trendy fabrics. You can even order a few to match different outfits.

Swaddling is an ancient technique used by parents to calm their crying child. When your child is in the nursery at the hospital, you’ll notice that the nurses swaddle the infants in receiving blankets. I never have been able to master the swaddling technique, but I found that I can “cheat” and get the same great results! You can buy swaddling pouches which help swaddle your baby easily and quickly. Simply slide your infant into the pouch and wrap the pouch wings around them. The wings attach to the sides of the pouch with velcro.

Bedding Items

When my children first came home from the hospital, I put them to sleep in a bassinet which I kept near my bed. I found that my children tended to sleep better in a bassinet than in a large crib. When they outgrew the bassinet, I moved them to a crib. If you decide to get a bassinet, make sure to get a model that can rock! This is so helpful to calm a crying infant.

You can never have too many crib and bassinette sheet sets! You’ll need at least four sets of each to be safe. Another product to check out is crib sheet savers. The idea is that you lay your infant’s head on the sheet saver which is on top of the sheet. If your child spits up, you just need to change the sheet saver and not the entire sheet. You can even get different colors to match your nursery color scheme!

Making Memories

It is incredible how quickly children grow and change. I recommend purchasing a quality digital camera which you will use regularly to help you remember all the special times that will happen during your baby’s first year. Above all else, remember to think about storing your photos in a safe place! It is fine to save your photos on your computer, but it’s best to save another copy elsewhere. You could accidentally delete the photo file, or your computer could crash. You don’t want to risk losing those memories.

Important Accessories

While you are shopping, don’t forget “the small stuff”. Pacifiers are an example of a small, but important accessory. I like to purchase silicon pacifiers because they seem to last longer than the latex ones. I also try to purchase orthodontic pacifiers which are better for baby’s teeth than the “regular” kind of pacifier.

A Boppy pillow is an essential purchase. If you are nursing, you can use the Boppy pillow to help you position the baby for feedings. As the baby grows, you can use the Boppy as a support when your baby is learning to sit. Remember to purchase at least two covers for your Boppy pillow just in case baby spits up on it!

I also found that a diaper Genie was a great item to have. The diaper Genie system minimizes the smell that can be so common in a baby’s room. It’s an effective and simple way to dispose of your babies diapers until you are able to empty the diaper pail. Remember to purchase a refill kit for your system. Your baby will go through a LOT of diapers during his or her first few weeks!

You made it to the bottom of my list! That’s not so bad, is it? Remember, preparing for you’re the arrival of your baby doesn’t have to take a huge bite out of your budget! Start early on in your pregnancy and purchase small amounts of items regularly. Before you know it, your pregnancy will be over, and you’ll be bringing home your beautiful bundle of joy.

Author: Michelle Schaefer

Expectant parents walking through a baby furniture store are easily assaulted by the wide variety of nursery items available. Even if your plan was always to keep things simple and inexpensive it can sometimes be difficult to ignore the massive quantities of really cute things available. Just because you’re on a budget, however, does not mean that you can’t pull together a beautiful and clever nursery for your baby.

Here are some tips to follow when you want to save as much money as you can while decorating your baby’s room:

• Secondhand does not always translate to old and dusty. If you have never ventured into a consignment store or perused online auctions then you may not realize that just because something is “used” it doesn’t mean that it has been used all that much. Some items that wind up getting sold used were obtained as gifts and were actually never used, or were used a little but well-maintained.Don’t be scared to buy things secondhand! You can find some really great deals and will probably get a lot more for your money. Check local consignment stores as well as classified ads, online resources, and even garage sales.

• Coupons and sales are great. Some things you shouldn’t – or may not want to – buy secondhand, so for these instances it’s a good idea to wait to make your purchases until there is a sale or clearance. Watch the ads and check online to find out when the best sales are for stores offering nursery decorations. Keep in mind that you don’t have to buy all the decorations for your baby’s room at stores that are specific to baby stuff. Any store that offers decorative items will probably have suitable items for purchase.Join the mailing lists for the stores you like and you’ll start receiving coupons via e-mail or regular mail as well as being notified of sales and clearances.

• Don’t get carried away. Before you make your purchases, take a step back and see if you need to censor yourself a little bit. Remember that your baby could care less whether the wallpaper trim is expensive or cheap, and frankly the baby won’t even care if there is any wallpaper trim at all. Try to think in the terms of what the baby wants: a safe, comfortable place to sleep. All the extras are usually things that the parents add to make something aesthetically pleasing to an adult eye.Keep the decorations simple. By not getting carried away with purchases you’ll inevitably save some money.

• Make your own decor. Even if you aren’t particularly crafty you can still pull off some pretty impressive decorations by following a kit or using your own imagination. Making something on your own almost always costs less than buying it brand new in a store. Take a look at some photos in a catalog to see what kind of decor you want for your baby’s room and then figure out what you can create on your own.Decor for a baby room that you lovingly create yourself is not only more frugal than purchasing it elsewhere, it also makes for a unique room.

Always keep in mind that your baby isn’t born expecting a designer nursery. The nursery should be functional and pleasing to the eye, but not something that you need to take out a second mortgage to finance.

Stocking up for a new baby can get really expensive. There are so many things to buy – furniture, a stroller, clothes, and everything else that a new baby needs – that it can truly drain your wallet just to prepare everything for an impending birth. With so many purchases to make, it’s a great idea to seek out the best deals you can find.

• The best deal for baby gear is free. You’ll probably get offered some hand-me-downs from friends and family, especially if you know people who have toddlers or preschoolers. In fact, when parents decide that they don’t want to have any more babies they can get quite generous with giving away baby items. If you are fortunate enough to have used baby gear offered to you, consider accepting it.Plenty of parents have a desire to give their babies only the very best products, and your first inclination may be to turn down the used baby items offered to you. Keep in mind, however, that by accepting these items you’re freeing up money to put toward other baby necessities.
• Some used items are almost new. Shop at most consignment stores and you’ll quickly realize that the best stores are stocked with items that seem barely used. Why not buy a gorgeous crib at a consignment store for a fraction of the price of a new one, especially if you can’t even really tell that the crib is used to begin with?Garage sales, thrift stores, and classified ads usually feature some great baby products at much lower prices than their brand-new counterparts. Be sure to shop around for the best deals.
• Buy new, but never pay full price. Start buying necessary items early so you have plenty of time to seek out the very best deals. Sign up for mailing lists at baby stores and your mailbox will soon be full of coupons and special offers. Look for clearance sales and other discounted events.If you insist on buying things new, at least make sure you aren’t paying full price for the things you need.
• Ignore labels. Most parents will agree that while extra functions can be quite nice, a crib is a crib, a stroller is a stroller, and a highchair is a highchair. Try to ignore what labels are trendy and instead take time to find the features you like.Buy the trendiest baby gear and you’ll pay the highest price.The more time you have to search for great deals, the better chances you have of finding baby items at a really low price. Remember: Paying full price means you’re paying too much.

By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of No Cry Sleep Solution

A good way to encourage good sleep is to get familiar with your baby’s sleepy signals, and put her down to sleep as soon as she seems tired. A baby cannot put herself to sleep, nor can she understand her own sleepy signs.

A baby who is encouraged to stay awake when her body is craving sleep is typically an unhappy, fussy baby. Over time, the pattern develops into sleep deprivation, which further complicates and interferes with your baby’s developing sleep maturity.

Pia, mother of eight-month-old Carrson talks about this problem, “I discovered that I had been putting Carrson to bed purely by the clock, not at all by his tiredness. Once I changed this dynamic and began identifying his sleepy signals he fell asleep easier and slept longer.”

Watch the clock, too!
Most newborns can only handle one or two hours of wakefulness at a time. A three-month-old gets tired after two to three hours of awake time. A one-year-old can be cheerful for about three to four hours, and a two-year-old about five to six hours. Once your child has passed his happy wakefulness stage he’ll quickly become overtired. He’ll then be easily overstimulated and find it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Find that magic moment
Using the clock as a guide, and your child’s sleepy signals as indicators, you can find the magic moment when your baby is tired, but not overtired. When you witness those signs it’s a quick but calm trip right to bed – don’t launch into a prolonged pre-bed routine since your child may then get a second wind!

Typical sleepy signals
Every child is unique and has his own sleepy signs, and you can watch and learn these. Your child may demonstrate one or more of these signs that tell you he is tired and ready to sleep – now:

• reducing his level of movement and activity
• becoming more quiet
• losing interest in people , toys and playtime
• rubbing his eyes
• looking glazed or unfocused
• having a more relaxed jaw, chin and mouth (droopy looking)
• becoming whiny and cranky
• fussing or crying
• losing patience or having tantrums
• yawning
• lying down or slumping in his seat
• watching television or a movie with a blank expression
• caressing a lovey or blanket
• asking for a pacifier, bottle or to nurse

Your child may demonstrate one or two of these sleepy signs, or even something entirely different. The signs may change at each stage of development. The key is to watch your child and encourage him to go to sleep when he is tired.

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from No Cry Sleep Solution (McGraw-Hill) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

My daughter is now eight-years-old. Over the years I have spent thousands of dollars on baby clothes, educational toys, baby furniture, books … all the best that I could afford to buy. I shopped online, I shopped in-store, I shopped I shopped I shopped. But then I discovered Ebay. Now don’t roll your eyes and click off this article like I did for years – read on! There is nothing that you can find in a store that you can’t find on Ebay – sometimes gently used, sometimes very used, often times brand new – but almost always at an unbelievable price. I mean pennies on the dollar – literally. See for yourself if you don’t believe me!

If it’s too good to be true it probably is
Yes and no. As a seasoned Ebay shopper, I have gotten some deals that seemed too good to be true (those are the ones I especially love). But I’ve also learned some lessons, and I’d like to pass them on to you. Here are some tips that I suggest you pay attention to before jumping into the Ebay World.

1. Pay Attention To Feedback
   Every item you see on Ebay is offered by a person, a “seller.” When viewing an item, you will see the seller’s handle, followed by a number in parenthesis. This is the seller’s feedback rating.

   When someone purchases an item from a seller (a buyer) they leave “feedback” about how their transaction went. Each feedback left consists of a rating (positive, negative, or neutral), and a short comment. The number is how many buyers have purchased an item from that seller, so right off the bat, you now how long a seller has been doing business. Someone with 1 feedback rating obviously hasn’t been around as long as someone with a 5,648 rating (and yes, you’ll see that often!)

   But just as important as how many people have left feedback, is the percentage of Positive Feedback … 100% is the best! But of course, you can’t please people all of the time, so even a positive feedback of 95% can be good. You can read the comments left by buyers by clicking on the feedback rating. They will tell you if the product was received, in what condition, how promptly, etc., which will allow you to make a decision on whether or not to trust the Ebay seller.

2. Shipping and Handling
   Almost all items have an associated Shipping and Handling charge. Most sellers assign a reasonable fee to cover their cost of packaging, and of course, the delivery fee. But sometimes they jack that price up in order to make the low cost of their item appear to be a better deal than it is. Most of the time the S&H fee is prominently posted on the item page, so be sure to look for it! If it is not listed, contact the buyer and ask them what shipping fees will be incurred before you make a bid! Be sure to calculate the cost of S&H with the cost of the item to be sure you are indeed getting a great deal.
3. Don’t bid immediately!
   Ok, so you’ve found an item that you want. It’s a great price, and the S&H fee is reasonable. You want to bid on it, now. DON’T! All items listed on Ebay are there for a specified amount of time. You can see how much time you have to purchase the item by looking at how much time is left on the auction (see Time Left: under the current bid cost). If there are four days left until the auction ends, wait. Bidding now is going to cause someone else who is interested in the item to bid too, which in turn raises the price of the item. What you need to do is Watch the item, and come back the day the auction ends (preferably within a few minute of the end time) and bid then. This doesn’t give other buyers as much time to out bid you and make the cost go up!

   How do you “watch the item?” There is a link that says “Watch This Item” for every product offered on Ebay. All you need to do is click it, and that product will be saved in a list for you to come back to later. You must be a registered Ebay Member to take advantage of this, but registering is FREE and easy. So I suggest you register right away, that way when you find a great buy you’re ready for it.

4. View seller’s other items
   Once you find an item that you like at the right price, see what else the seller is offering. Odds are, they have many other items that are closely related to exactly what you’re looking for that didn’t come up in your product search. Check it out! And if you like the buyer and their products, save the buyer as a favorite!
5. Pay attention to the item description
   Some items will be listed with words or phrases that you don’t understand. For instance, “NIB” means new in box. If there is something that is in the description that you don’t understand – ASK THE SELLER! Once you win the auction it is too late to clear up unanswered questions, so rather than be disappointed, be safe.
6. Don’t get stuck in a competitive mindset
   This was the biggest lesson that I needed to learn in the early days of my Ebay-hood. I’d find an item that I’d like, bid on it, then be outbid. So then I’d bid again. It was a viciuos cycle and I ended up paying more for the item than I should have, simply because I wanted to win. You must keep in mind that you are trying to get a deal. If the price is no longer a deal in your mind, wait. The item will be listed again eventually at a price you want to pay.
7. Don’t limit yourself
   You can literally find *anything* on Ebay: Books, furniture, household products, clothes, shoes, collectibles… it is rare that I search for something and don’t find it.
8. Don’t just buy – SELL!
   As your baby grows, you’re going to find yourself with boxes full of clothes, toys, and other items that you no longer need. Use them to finance your new shopping sprees! Become an Ebay Seller and have a garage sale from the comfort of your living room! You’ll be amazed at how easy it is, and how much money you can make doing it! Many of my friends go to weekend garage sales and pick up antiques, collectibles, etc. and then sell them on Ebay for a tremendous profit. If you’re looking for some extra money, this is one easy way to do it!

Ready to check out Ebay now that you know the ins and outs a little bit? Type anything into the search box below and see what kind of deals you can get, or view our Discount Baby Products section for baby product categories to browse through. Happy Saving!

Do you have tips that you’d like to share with our Members? Let Us Know!

]]> http://www.babiesonline.com/articles/money/savewithebay.asp/feed 0 http://www.babiesonline.com/articles/baby/roadtripwithbabies.asp http://www.babiesonline.com/articles/baby/roadtripwithbabies.asp#comments Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:04:08 +0000 admin http://208.79.203.56/articles/pantley/roadtripwithbabies.asp

By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle Baby Care

Question
To Grandmother’s house we go! And we’ll be in the car for five whole hours? How can we make the trip enjoyable with a baby along?

Learn about it
There’s no question: Marathon car trips with a baby on board take a good amount of planning and organization. But it can be done, and yes, it can even be fun!

Planning the trip
In the hustle that precedes a trip, it can be easy to let things happen, instead of make things happen. Be proactive in making your trip decisions. Contemplating these questions, and coming up with the right answers, can help make your trip more successful:

Does your baby sleep well in the car? If yes, plan your travel time to coincide with a nap or bedtime so your baby can sleep through part of the journey. If not, plan to leave immediately after a nap or upon waking in the morning. Don’t fool yourself into thinking your baby will behave differently than usual in the car just because it’s a special occasion.

Is it necessary to make the trip all at once, or can you break it up with stops along the way? The longer your baby is strapped in the carseat, the more likely he’ll become fussy. Planning a few breaks can keep everyone in a better frame of mind.

When estimating an arrival time, have you factored in plenty of extra time for unplanned surprises? A diaper explosion that requires a complete change of clothes or a baby whose inconsolable crying requires an unexpected 20-minute stop are just two of the things that can easily happen.

Do you have everything you need to make the trip pleasant? Items like:

by Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Perfect Parenting and Kid Cooperation

Question
My baby is only happy when I’m within arm’s reach. If I dare to leave the room, she cries as if I’ve left the country! I can’t even so much as take a shower these days, let alone leave the house without her. My mother-in-law says it’s because I’ve spoiled her. Is she right? Have I made her so clingy?

Nothing you’ve done has “made” your baby develop separation anxiety. It’s a perfectly normal and important developmental adaptation. Nearly all children experience separation anxiety between the ages of seven and 18 months. Some have more intense reactions than others, and for some, the stage lasts longer than others, but almost all babies have it to some degree.

The development of separation anxiety demonstrates that your baby has formed a healthy, loving attachment to you. It is a beautiful sign that your baby associates pleasure, comfort, and security with your presence. It also indicates that your baby is developing intellectually (in other words, she’s smart!) She has learned that she can have an effect on her world when she makes her needs known, and she doesn’t have to passively accept a situation that makes her uncomfortable. She doesn’t know enough about the world yet to understand that when you leave her you’ll always come back. She also realizes that she is safest, happiest, and best cared for by you, so her reluctance to part makes perfect sense ¾ especially when viewed from a survival standpoint. Put another way: You are her source of nourishment, both physical and emotional; therefore, her attachment to you is her means of survival, and when she reaches a certain level of intellectual maturity, she realizes this.

This stage, like so many others in childhood, will pass. In time, your baby will learn that she can separate from you, that you will return, and that everything will be okay between those two points in time. Much of this learning is based on trust, which, just as for every human being young or old, takes time to build.

How do I know if my baby has separation anxiety?
Separation anxiety is pretty easy to spot, and you’re probably reading this section because you’ve identified it in your baby. The following are behaviors typically demonstrated by a baby with normal separation anxiety:

• Clinginess
• Crying when a parent is out of sight
• Strong preference for only one parent
• Fear of strangers (Also see Stranger anxiety, page XX)
• Waking at night crying for a parent
• Easily comforted in a parent’s embrace

How you can help your baby with separation anxiety

• Allow your baby to be a baby. It’s perfectly okay — even wonderful — for your baby to be so attached to you and for her to desire your constant companionship. Congratulations, Mommy or Daddy: It’s evidence that the bond you’ve worked so hard to create is holding. So politely ignore those who tell you otherwise.
• Don’t worry about spoiling her with your love, since quite the opposite will happen. The more that you meet her attachment needs during babyhood, the more confident and secure she will grow up to be.
• Minimize separations when possible. It’s perfectly acceptable for now ¾ better, in fact ¾ to avoid those situations that would have you separate from your baby. All too soon, your baby will move past this phase and on to the next developmental milestone.
• Give your baby lessons in object permanence. As your baby learns that things continue to exist even when she can’t see them, she’ll feel better about letting you out of her sight. Games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek will help her understand this phenomenon.
• Practice with quick, safe separations. Throughout the day, create situations of brief separation. When you go into another room, whistle, sing, or talk to your baby so she knows you’re still there, even though she can’t see you.
• Don’t sneak away when you have to leave her. It may seem easier than dealing with a tearful goodbye, but it will just cause her constant worry that you’re going to disappear without warning at any given moment. The result? Even more clinginess, and diminished trust in your relationship.
• Tell your baby what to expect. If you are going to the store and leaving her at home with Grandma, explain where you are going and tell her when you’ll be back. Eventually, she’ll come to understand your explanations.
• Don’t rush the parting, but don’t prolong it, either. Give your baby ample time to process your leave-taking, but don’t drag it out and make it more painful for both of you.
• Express a positive attitude when leaving her. If you’re off to work, or an evening out, leave with a smile. Your baby will absorb your emotions, so if you’re nervous about leaving her, she’ll be nervous as well. Your confidence will help alleviate her fears.
• Leave your baby with familiar people. If you must leave your baby with a new caregiver, try to arrange a few visits when you’ll all be together before you leave the two of them alone for the first time.
• Invite distractions. If you’re leaving your baby with a caregiver or relative, encourage that person to get your baby involved with playtime as you leave. Say a quick good-bye and let your baby be distracted by an interesting activity.
• Allow your baby the separation that she initiates. If she crawls off to another room, don’t rush after her. Listen and peek, of course, to make sure that she’s safe, but let her know it’s fine for her to go off exploring on her own.
• Encourage her relationship with a special toy, if she seems to have one. These are called transitional objects or lovies. They can be a comfort to her when she’s separated from you. Many babies adopt blankets or soft toys as loveys, holding them to ease any pain of separation. The lovey becomes a friend and represents security in the face of change.

Don’t take it personally. Many babies go through a stage of attaching themselves to one parent or the other. The other parent, as well as grandparents, siblings and friends can find this difficult to accept, but try to reassure them that it’s just a temporary and normal phase of development and with a little time and gentle patience it will pass.Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of No Cry Sleep Solution

According to sleep research, and motherly experience, the length and the quality of naps affect nighttime sleep. (And, conversely, nighttime sleep affects naps.)

Babies differ in their napping needs – but here’s a general guide that applies to most babies:

When should your baby nap?
Timing of naps is important. A nap too late in the day will negatively affect nighttime sleep. Certain times of the day are better for napping because they suit your baby’s biological clock; these optimum periods balance sleep and wake time to affect nighttime sleep in the most positive way.

All babies are different, but generally, the best nap times are as follows:
If baby takes three naps: midmorning/early afternoon/early evening
If baby takes two naps: midmorning/early afternoon
If baby takes one nap: early afternoon

Watch your baby’s sleepy signals!
Naps should happen immediately when your baby shows signs of tiredness. If you wait too long, she becomes overtired, “wired up,” and unable to sleep.

Once you are familiar with the your baby’s nap needs you can plan a nap routine to start the wind-down process. If consistent naps are new to you look more for your baby’s signs of tiredness and scrimp on the routine until you settle into a predictable pattern. In other words, don’t begin a lengthy pre-nap routine if your baby is clearly ready to sleep! Watch for these signs of fatigue; your baby may demonstrate one or more of these:

Decreasing activity quieting down losing interest in people and toys rubbing eyes looking “glazed” fussing yawning laying down caressing a lovey or asking for a pacifier, bottle or to nurse

Timing is very, very important!
You have probably experienced this scenario: Your baby looks tired and you think, “Time for a nap.” So, you wash her hands and face, change her diaper, answer a phone call, put out the dog, and head for baby’s crib or the family bed, only to find that she’s suddenly wide awake and anxious to play!

What happened? She has moved through her window of tiredness and gotten that “second wind” that buys her another hour or two of alert time before she re-enters her tired state. This can often happen later in the day. Suddenly, your baby is (finally!) ready for a nap at dinnertime, and the plot thickens- do you put her for a late nap and thus extend bedtime, or keep her awake and deal with a tired, fussy baby? Rather than face this ordeal, respond earlier to her signs of fatigue and get her in for her nap right at that time.

Once you have watched your baby carefully for a week or so, you should be able to create a nap schedule that works with her daily periods of alertness and tiredness, thus making your nap schedule easy to adhere to.

The nap routine
Once you’ve established a nap schedule for your baby, it is very helpful if you create a simple but specific nap routine. This routine should be different from your nighttime routine, although it can have similarities that signal sleep- for example, the presence of a lovely or special sleep-inducing music. Follow your nap routine the same way every day. (Except, as I mentioned before, if your baby is showing clear signs of being tired and ready to sleep. Then abbreviate or even eliminate your routine for that day.)

For a reluctant napper, your routine might include some relaxing motion, such as rocking/relaxing in a swing/walking in a sling or stroller, and some gentle lullaby music.

A nap routine doesn’t have to be long and involved to be effective. If your baby’s nap occurs about the same time every day there will be many subtle cues, such as the timing of his lunch, that tell your baby that nap time is nearing.

Better naps mean better nighttime sleep.

About the Author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle Baby Care

Question:
Our local public pool offers swimming classes for parents with babies. This sounds like fun, but I’m wondering: Is this something I can do safely with my eight-month-old baby?

Learn about it
Swimming classes can be a fun experience to share with your baby and with other parent-baby pairs. The term “class” in this context shouldn’t mean that your baby will “learn” anything. Until a child is over four years old, any swim program should be viewed as simply a pleasurable way to introduce your baby to the fun of being in the water.

At what age can you take a baby in a pool?
As long as the water and weather are warm enough, you can take any baby over a few weeks old into a pool while in your arms. The younger the baby, of course, the more closely you’ll need to monitor the reaction to the water, and the more careful you’ll need to be about the chill that can occur when wet skin hits cooler air. Keep in mind that your baby will chill before you do, and if your baby is shivering or his lips look blue, he should have been out of the water some time ago. Quickly wrap him up and warm him.

How can I make our swimming experience safe?
The one most important rule for swimming with a young baby is to always keep him in your arms when he’s in or near the water. Always.

How can I help my baby enjoy his first swimming experiences?
When taking your baby for a swim, make sure he isn’t hungry or tired so that he and you can both enjoy the water. Avoid taking a swim immediately after your baby has been fed.

Very young babies don’t really need any floats or swimming aids, since they will not be out of your arms at any time (right?). If you decide to let your older baby float around in a baby boat or swim ring, always keep in mind that these are not designed for safety or protection; you should keep your hands and eyes on your baby at all times.

Follow your baby’s lead. If he seems happy and curious, then move him around in the water. If he seems nervous or frightened, don’t push him beyond his comfort zone. Some babies take time to warm up to the idea of a big body of water, even if they love to splash in the bathtub at home. You may even find that your baby takes numerous trips to the pool or beach before he’s even willing to get wet. Be patient!

How do I choose a class?
Ideally, look for an instructor who has knowledge of child development in addition to swimming. A teacher like this can gear the class activities to the proper developmental abilities of the babies in the group. It’s important to work with a teacher who understands children and can be sensitive to a baby’s fear or uncertainty of the water, and who doesn’t expect a baby to do more than what he is comfortable doing ¾ even if that means just dangling his feet in the water for the first few lessons, or even just looking at it from a deck chair!

What should your baby wear?
At the beach, your baby can wear a diaper, a bathing suit, or a birthday suit ¾ whatever you and he are comfortable with. Many parents keep their babies in a t-shirt to protect against the sun. If your baby is a walker, you might want to invest in some aqua socks to protect little feet against sand, rocks, and shells and to prevent slipping while walking poolside. If you are in a pool, disposable or reusable swim diapers are a great option. These don’t swell up like a sponge, but they do retain the unmentionables that other swimmers would rather not see floating in the water!

Protect your baby from the sun and chemicals
If your swimming extravaganza is taking place outside, be certain that you protect your baby from the sun with a hat and (if the baby is older than six months) sunscreen. This is very important, since the sun’s rays are magnified when reflected off the water.

Be cautious about emerging your baby in a pool that has a high level of chlorine as this may irritate his delicate skin.

Après swim
Remember, just like you, your baby will probably be ravenous after a swim so plan to feed him soon after you’re out of the water. A breastfeed, bottle-feed or snack will keep your baby happy. And a snuggly feed after a swim is extra warm and cozy for both mom and baby.

An important warning
No matter how many swim classes your baby has had, and no matter what his comfort and skill levels while in the water are, and no matter what kind of swimming float he is wearing, you should never, ever leave your baby unattended while in or near water ¾ not for even a second. Babies are unpredictable. They easily can fall into the water and drown even in water just a few inches deep. Swimming lessons for babies have nothing whatsoever to do with reducing the risk of water hazards. As a matter of fact, they can increase the risk of water accidents when parents are lulled into thinking their baby is safer because he has had swimming lessons ¾ which is not the case. Plus, swimming lessons, if they are successful, dispel your baby’s natural wariness about water and make it more likely that he’ll explore on his own if given but a second. You are many years away from watching your child swim independently while you sit on the beach in a lounge chair.

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the Author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.