by Katelyn Thomas

It’s been raining for a week and the kids and bored and restless. How do you cure those rainy day blahs? Try some of these parent tested and kid approved ideas and your children will be hoping for another rainy day when the sun finally peaks through.

1. Share a book. Pick an action packed, funny book and take turns reading aloud. Some great choices are My Brother Louis Measures Worms : And Other Louis Stories by Barbara Robinson, The Great Brain by John Fitzgerald or Amelia Bedelia by Peggy Parrish. For more great reads, check with your local library. Your librarian should have reading lists available.

2. Put on a play. Your children can write their own play and act it out or make paper bag puppets for additional fun. A great book for quick and easy skit ideas is The Skit Book: 101 Skits from Kids by Margaret Read MacDonald.

3. Go on an indoor picnic. Put out a blanket and pack a basket full of goodies. For a quick but special picnic lunch, jazz up ordinary sandwiches with cookie cutters in animal shapes.

4. Hold rainy day Olympics. Make the events things that can be done in the house, such as standing on one leg or seeing who can make his bed the fastest. Give the winners chocolate coins instead of medals.

5. Learn a new craft or hobby. Check your local library for instructional videos that will tell you how to knit, crochet or paint and buy enough supplies for everyone to give it a try. If you decide to learn to knit or crochet, your children can make scarves or blankets to donate to a local shelter.

6. Hold a fancy dress party. Put together a trunk of old cocktail dresses, suits, fancy hats, and costume jewelry. Have everyone dress up and give prizes for the most creative and fancy costumes.

7. Go on safari. Make an indoor tent by draping a blanket over a table or several chairs. Serve trail mix as a snack and provide binoculars for hunting wild animals. Then pull up a cushion and read Maurice Sendek’s Where the Wild Things Are or play a video or DVD about wild baby animals.

8. Get ready for a yard sale. Work with your children to clean out the attic, garage and bedrooms. Clean and price all the items and box them up by category so that you can quickly set up your sale on the next sunny weekend.

9. Have an indoor market. Buy snacks, activities, and other inexpensive items and set up a store table for each child. Provide market baskets and spare change so they can buy from each other and make sure you stop by the shops, too. For additional fun, let them keep their profits to restock their shops for the next rainy day.

10. Make portrait cookies. Buy a sugar cookie mix, a gingerbread cookie cutter, colored icing and sprinkles. Roll out the sugar cookies and help the kids cut out their people and then let them decorate the gingerbread men to look like themselves, friends and family. For additional fun, find dog or cat cookie cutters so your children can include the family pet.

About the Author
Katelyn Thomas is the editor of Cecil Child, an online parenting magazine filled with parenting articles and kids’ stories and games, as well as local resources for Cecil County residents. Visit Cecil Child at http://cecilchild.com for more family fun.

by Colleen Langenfeld

“Mom, I’m bored!”

“Dad, play with me!!”

Sound familiar?

If you’re a parent, these plaintive cries from your children can become daily shouts. As busy moms and dads, we’re continuously torn by the demands on our time. Here are some simple ways to spend time with your kids while getting the jobs done that need to be done (including the toughest job of all, parenting). These Sneaky Fun ideas are also great ways to teach our children exactly how to successfully accomplish many routine tasks.

• Make a silly dinner together.
  Think ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ or try a picnic on the living room floor. Bring your child along for the meal planning, shopping, prep time and clean-up. Involve them each step of the way.

• Turn on the music and clean, clean, clean.
  Forget TELLING your kids to go clean; side-by-side, with some of their favorite music playing, move through the house dancing and cleaning. They’ll love it (and so will you).

• Exercise together.
  You know you need to do it. Your child is your perfect exercise partner. Make it a ‘talk and play’ time and you’ll both get fit together.

• Share a hobby.
  Love to fish, garden, sew, paint, sing? Share that love with your youngster. Try an interest that fascinates them. Learn a shared passion – together.

• Start a girls or boys night out.
  You will make an incredible impression with this one. Take your daughter out for regular manicures and lunch. Stay close to your son with a favorite concert or sporting event. Teach your children about wholesome entertainment and the joy of healthy relationships. You can even team up with another parent and child for regular fun; just make sure that honest conversation is the true priority.

• Improve their skills.
  Do you have a student struggling with homework? Quit nagging and ask them to teach YOU what they’ve learned. Be a patient listener. The fastest way to learn is often to teach.

• Wash the cars.
  Need I say more? Water, the chance to soak mom or dad, and a sense of accomplishment when it’s all done. Follow up with an ice cream cone for a job well done.

• Growing things.
  Countless gardeners have discovered deep satisfaction in sharing their love of growing things with children and grandchildren. Gardening is a useful de-stressing tool and the most frustrated child tends to loosen up and share their heart while getting their hands dirty alongside a trusted adult.

• Plan, plan, plan.
  If your household is anything like mine, it benefits greatly when I take the time to map out regular activities. Menu-planning, budgeting and vacationing come to mind, for starters. Show your child (of the appropriate age) how to use their time and money wisely by including them in the planning of everyday family activities. As they mature, they can easily be put in charge of some of these planning sessions, teaching them to younger siblings. Your trust and belief in your kids can ease the stress on them as they grow, too.

• Organize.
  Almost all families struggle with organization in some area. Truth be told, we’re simply busy people and have often outgrown the simplistic organizing methods that once worked just fine. Give your kids the opportunity to be the creative organizer in your family. Whether its making sense of the family photos or tackling the hall closet, do it with them to get the job done and make a memory that’s shared.

• Schedule the fun.
  Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Try scheduling a set time of fun in exchange for a set time of work. For example, Monday can be family board game night while Saturday morning sees the family hard at work in the yard. Sometimes it’s easier for kids to see the point when it’s a straight trade off of time and energy.

  The idea here is simple and clear. Use everyday activities to build relationships and teach responsibility. After all, everybody wins when ‘fun’ becomes a part of daily life!

About the Author
Colleen Langenfeld offers helpful resources to working moms. Make your life feel easier, healthier, smarter by reading our One Good Idea ezine. Start by visiting PaintedGold.com and clicking on the happy kids’ picture now!

By Michell Muldoon

It Takes Initiative To Get Kids To Play

Play is a rare luxury for most kids in this country.
In today’s world, children live a life that is over-scheduled. Children go from school, to after-hours day care, sports, music and dance lessons or other types of after-school activities. There are also the very important extracurricular studies that are required in CCD classes, Bible school, Hebrew school lessons and church choirs. There are incredible experiences to be had in Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, YMCA programs and all sorts of other wonderful offerings that are available for kids. Although there is richness in these types of opportunities, what they are missing is simple, basic play. The kind of free-form play that helps children to negotiate other kids personalities, solve problems and develop tools to teach them something about the strength of their own inner character.

This type of knowledge is learned through personal interaction, exposure to the same groups of people, and the time to figure it out on their own. What has happened to personal time and core communities for kids is that it has become as extinct as the Dinosaurs we are so ready to haul them off to see at the local museums!

Sadly, there are also a tremendous amount of children who sit alone, without a parent or guardian present and no children to play with. There are working mothers who barely have enough time or money to put food on the table, let alone worry about a child’s need to play.

There is also another facet to this problem. And that is, we as parents want to be with our children, and to share in the amazing experiences that are available to them. But as wonderful and as stimulating as so many of these programs are, we need to give our children a time to play.

What I propose here is to have group playdates. To find a great group of people and create occasions to get together. This way children can have friends, and grown ups get the chance to socialize as well in an informal, casual way.

However, this proposition, although simple on paper, does require initiative and some coordination. Most of the women I know today are exhausted. We are working stressful jobs, managing our households and handling the details of our children’s lives. The constant running around is adding additional stress to our relationships with our significant others. We barely have enough time to think through the details of our own lives, let alone consider adding another level of stress to our days. However, childhood, which impacts our children’s lives down the road, is very much at stake here. That is why it is important to make an effort to create these occasions. And it is absolutely critical to make it a group effort.

About Initiative
The reason that FunPlayDates was started was so that we as mothers could insure our children’s play days. What we have found along the way is that many children have very few friends and that they spend their spare time sitting in front of a TV or a computer. This is an enormous waste. The initiative it takes to make a group playdate can be as simple as arranging a group picnic at the local playground or inviting some of the neighbors to do a group cookout. Ask everyone to bring their own lunch or something for the cookout and some outdoor toys or games. Even if the group has to take turns watching the kids, this type of effort will bring such simple joy to the kids.

This kind of get-together should always be simple. And if it is too much to try to call everyone or think up an invitation – make it easier on yourself by getting some great ideas from FunPlaydates.

FunPlayDates.com was designed to provide invitations, quick crafts from simple, household items, and great no-cook recipe tips to make the busy Mom look like she has time to cook! However you do it, the most important consideration here is that we make sure our children have a chance to experience the magic of play and the richness of a community.

About The Article
This information provided by www.funplaydates.com.

By Michell Muldoon

The Basics
Children today don’t really just “play” anymore. The main reason for this is that, sadly, our lives have become so ridiculously over-booked that even children’s play is relegated to the infrequent openings on family calendars. More importantly, spontaneous, innocent and adventurous play time is no longer a real option for most children. What has developed in the past 14 years or so to replace the magical wonder of play is now referred to as a “PlayDate.”

A PlayDate is a scheduled time period in which parents arrange for two or more children to play together for a few hours. Here are a few tips for parents to consider when making a PlayDate:

Use Some Good Old-Fashioned Common Sense

For Children Ages 2 to 3
When you invite a child of this age to your house, it is important to include the parent in the PlayDate. There are several reasons for doing this:

1. The guest child will probably feel extremely uncomfortable if his mother or father leaves.

    

2. As a parent, you will want to make your child feel comfortable socially and you will want to help them begin to learn how to develop those skills.

    

3. Sometimes small children can feel jealous if the host parent is too accommodating to the guest child. When you are the only parent present, you will have to be ready to help the children and to provide comfort if anyone’s feelings are hurt in any way.

    

4. Having a parent present at the PlayDate is a great way to learn more about the other family. You will have the chance to develop a new friendship and this will help both sets of children to see a “give and take” model for conversation, as well as for taking turns and sharing toys.

For Children Ages 4 to 5
When children are in the 3 to 5 year age group, a lot of changes happen for them socially. This is usually a time when these children begin Pre-School. Some parents feel comfortable leaving them at other people’s homes when they are in this Pre-School age group. But they are still very young and you will want to know the host parent well enough to make sure that the children will be comfortable and safely supervised.

Make a PlayDate and stay when you feel comfortable, then leave for a short time.

PlayDates are really wonderful for parents and for children, but there is a genuine concern when you begin to leave a child in someone’s home. It is always best to ask the guest parent if they have any concerns while their child is visiting in your home.

For best results:

1. Have parents stay for the playdate.

    

2. As a guest parent, if you need to run an errand, stay for most of the PlayDate. When you see that your child is visibly comfortable, let them know that you are going to “be right back” and slip out for a short time.

    

3. In this awkward period of social transition, if you are the host parent, be prepared for the guest parent to want to stay, even if you have pre-planned a time to do other things. This age group is very fragile and even the best of plans can go haywire. What is most important here is for the children to begin to feel comfortable with other people.

Important Considerations
Birth order really makes a big difference in the adaptability of children. When you are hosting a PlayDate, be aware of the guest child’s birth order. Generally speaking, an only child is probably going to be far more “clingy” than a middle child. And the parent of many may be much more relaxed than a parent of one or two. There are so many variables in the way a PlayDate can be handled. For overall best results, be open to sharing the fun!

Snacks
Always ask the guest parent if you can offer the guest child a snack during the PlayDate. As silly as this may seem, many parents do not believe in giving “Snacks” between meals. And many more do not want their children eating sweets or prepared calorie-rich foods without nutritional benefit. You will always be safe with vegetable sticks or fruit and a glass of water. Many parents today are not in favor of Juicy Boxes either because of the high sugar content.

Allergy Alerts
It’s also important to take allergies into consideration. Not only does this show that you are a very concerned parent, but it’s important to know if a child faces any potential dangers from contact with anything from peanut-butter to insect stings.

Elementary School Children: Ages 6 to 11
By the time your children are in Elementary School, there is a new pattern to their days. They are usually gone for a six to seven-hour period during the day. It’s very important for children to play, but in today’s world, after-school play is a luxury. Usually this happens in the form of Brownies or Boy/Girl Scouts. Of course, there are also sports programs, but they usually entail structured, non-exploratory play. The good old fashioned kind of non-structured running around with other kids really doesn’t happen as much as it used to. The bottom line: If you’re going to have play time, you must be prepared to take the initiative.

After-School PlayDates
For a lot of children, there is little or no after-school play time unless it is put onto calendars in the form of PlayDates. To make this happen, it’s best to plan ahead. Busy moms need a bit of lead-time. One of the best ways to make this happen, without the constant back-and-forth on the telephone or through e-mails, is to use the download invitations from FunPlayDates.

After-school play time can easily be planned if you use the FunPlayDates invitations or if you take the time to write a note and send it to school with your child.

Specify Time, Date of PlayDate and Phone Numbers
It’s important to be specific with regard to all contact numbers. This will make it easy to keep track of your child’s calendar and any vital information from both sets of parents. One busy mom I know has six children and keeps a social calendar for each of them right by the phone. At a quick glance, she can keep track of their busy schedules, including each of their PlayDates, times and contact numbers.

For best results:

1. Some parents will not allow an after-school PlayDate unless their child has done their homework. When inviting a child for an after-school PlayDate, let the host parent know they will need to finish their work before they play.

    

2. As a guest parent, always be prompt with your child’s pick-up times.

    

3. As a host parent, be aware of after-school PlayDate pick-up times. Usually, after-school PlayDates run parallel to high traffic patterns and a parent may be a bit late. This is always a potential problem, so accept this possibility when making an after-school PlayDate.

    

4. Make sure each parent has all the phone numbers needed in case of any emergencies or difficulties related to pick-up times.

    

5. For after-school snacks, keep it simple and natural.

Weekend PlayDates
Even Saturday and Sunday afternoon PlayDates have to be planned.

It’s the rare neighborhood where parents feel safe having their children go out and knock on a neighbor’s door to see if their children can come out to play. For most families, the high demands of our lives keep us from feeling spontaneous about people dropping by without an invitation. With all of our time going to so many different kinds of activities, it’s always best to plan ahead.

Once again, we must consider the success of a PlayDate often depends on making sure that there is adequate lead-time. This can save the host parent a lot of time and pressure by preparing to receive the guest parents into your home.

This is what you should consider:

1. Many families that have two working parents are not eager to have to get up early on a Saturday or Sunday morning, so it’s best to plan PlayDates for sometime in the afternoon.

    

2. Unless you know a family well, the guest parents will probably stay for at least 15 to 30 minutes when they drop their child off. This happens frequently, so be prepared for this possibility. After all, it’s their child they’re leaving, so they’re naturally going to be concerned. Be ready to offer them a light refreshment.

    

3. There are many aspects to PlayDates that you might want to think about before you leave your child in someone’s home. Some of these concerns include safety, watching TV, playing computer games and snacks. For most parents, not only is a PlayDate a social time, but it can also be a time to play outdoors and get exercise (weather permitting). Carefully survey the surroundings to see that you are comfortable leaving your child with this family. Don’t be afraid to ask the parent(s) if someone will be keeping an eye on the kids. And mention that you would prefer that your child not watch too much TV. You may also want to suggest that you reciprocate, with a PlayDate for their child in your home.

    

4. Always pick up your child at the specified time when the Play Date is to end. Have your child thank the host parent(s) and child. One way to make this a smooth transition to is practice with your own child before you go to the PlayDate. You will want to review the “thank you” and then tell your child to be ready to leave. It is very awkward for the host parent(s) to have to wait for you to leave, especially if they need to be other places or have other commitments.

    

5. Although this is optional, a Thank You note is always lovely. This is not necessary but will almost always be appreciated.

Potential Problems:

Reciprocal PlayDates
One of the problems that I have run across with the PlayDates is the issue of reciprocal play invitations. This is one of the most common complaints. What usually happens is a situation where your child likes another child and you find that you are always hosting the PlayDates for that relationship. Not only is this unfair, but there is really not very much you can do about it.

The only way that I have seen a turnaround occur, is if you very politely ask if it would be possible to have the other parent watch your child on a particular occasion. If they don’t repond to this request in a thoughtful way, then it is time for you to reassess that friendship.

Parenting Styles
When you begin to introduce your child to other families, you’re going to have to make some decisions about what kinds of friends you want to encourage your children to develop friendships with. Some people may do things in a completely different way than you would do them. In cases like this, you will have to decide whether you want to continue to have your children play together. Parenting styles would affect these kinds of decisions.

For instance: If you find that the mother of one of your children’s friends smokes continually, you may decide that you don’t want your child to be exposed to the smoke, so you may wish to discontinue the relationship. This is an extreme example, but there are many characteristics to parenting styles. Some of these styles run the gamut from extreme religious practices and strict punishments to the opposite: unstructured casual styles of parenting that include abrasive language, lack of supervision and older children who do not set a good example for the younger kids. There are also families who watch excessive amounts of TV or play computer games continuously.

The list is virtually endless. However, the bottom line is this: if you feel that your child is, in any way, learning something that you are not ready for them to learn, it is best to have that other child play at your house or to meet on some neutral ground, such as a Museum or playground.

When PlayDates look more Like Babysitting Than PlayDates
Sometimes you may have a mother ask you to have her child for a playdate while she has lunch with another friend. Even though this may seem offensive, it is a lovely gift to give someone else the chance to get out every now and then. By having her child over to your house, you are giving this mom a chance to get a much-needed break. Every mother needs one now and then. If you are the “babysitting” mom, it’s best to let the other mother know that you hope she has a good time and ask her if she could reciprocate this PlayDate for you sometime. More than likely, this situation can be a nice opportunity for both of you.

Admittedly, there are also mothers who might take advantage of this situation.

There is one other consideration here. That is the situation where you have all the kids at your house, all of the time, and the other mother does not want her “perfect house” to get messy, so she constantly encourages you to keep having the PlayDates at your house. This is one call that you’ll have to make for yourself. This is a value judgment, and the essential value that needs to be looked at is this: Are the children playing? As you think about this, you will want to ask yourself, who is this issue really about… the children playing or children not playing… or is it about the woman with the “perfect” house? If that’s the case, you must decide what works for you and for the children. If you feel taken advantage of, decline her request to watch her child.

Fighting Children
Sometimes children have disagreements during PlayDates. When there is no psychologist to jump in and make the appropriate suggestions on how to defuse an awkward moment, there is still something you can do to stop the kids from fighting.

Try to get the children to calm down and, to the best of their ability, describe the problem to you. Listen to both kids and make a decision based on what is objectively fair for both children. Be careful and sensitive to the guest child’s side of the story. Remember that this child is at a disadvantage, especially if the guest parent is not present to provide emotional support. The next best solution is to get them to play another game or to have them take a break and then change the focus of the activity.

When A Child Gets Hurt
This is such an unfortunate situation. This is also why it is very important to have all of the contact phone numbers you will need for a PlayDate. In this case, you will want to call the parents immediately and you will also want to care for the child that is hurt and probably frightened, as well. It is very essential to calm the child and do all that you can do to make them feel comfortable until their parents pick them up.

About The Article
This information provided by www.funplaydates.com.

by Jennifer Gove

I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her and I dressed in pinks and purples sitting in her lacy pink room playing dolls danced threw my head. A year later my son was born ;My husbands vision of sports and trucks revved around like mad men threw his manly mind.

Those dreams were simply that dreams. Little did I know there are lessons for parents to learn about children’s toys and who are children will be.

My daughter plays with dolls. She plays with clay and gets her hands dirty. She plays in the dirt, climbs trees and races her trucks around ,he plays kick ball , base ball and can run as fast as any boy.

My son plays with trucks and builds with blocks, he colors and plays ps2 and he plays house with my girls rocking babies and feeding them.

There was a time my husband would bark to my son “Put down that doll!” until we came to the realization that play is really a child’s preparation for real life. Our daughter was learning sportsmanship and how to be a team player from all the sports she played. My son was learning compassion and parenting skills from those dolls. It’s amazing to me to watch my son now with his baby brother…I can see the compassion he has learned threw us and his play and I know some day he will be a good father I see my daughter line up her brothers and sister for a game of kick ball. And I see how she has learned to take the lead and take charge. I know some day in what ever she put her mind to see will be a success.

My message to parents is not to limit their child. Toys and sports are learning tools for life and they shouldn’t carry a gender.

By the way…my daughter and I play but its not dolls….many days you can find us all at the beach…covered in muddy sand driving our big Tonka’s™ .

© 2004-2005 Jennifer Gove
www.simplymoms.com

About The Author
Jennifer is a stay at home mother of eight.Living on the coast of Maine. To visit her parenting site that include more aticles, forums and chat go to www.simplymoms.com/forums. zjgim@hotmail.com

By Candice Silsby

Children rarely make a conscious decision to play. For a child to play is a natural response to being alive. Children play to explore, learn and understand their place in the world.

Often play is a problem solving task- children don’t set out to conquer tasks and problem solve it occurs as they relate to others, to objects and to their environment. It starts at infancy looking, tasting, touching- experience by observation for the most part. Once an infant can move and grasp objects they begin to experience the world around them through interaction and manipulation objects, the environment and others.

I have observed babies repeated working with cause and effect- they perform the same action to a passive object repeatedly. It is almost as if they are ensuring that the same action creates the same response. Usually outside stimuli will interrupt this repetition sequence and the infant is distracted and on to the next experience. Sometimes the infant will vary the action.

Passive objects are important to learning and have enormous potential for years to come. With a passive toy a child can use and manipulate it in more sophisticated ways as she develops. Typically electronic toys give temporary pleasure- the child will beg for them and initially be very excited about this fancy gadget.

However, once the novelty of what this fancy high tech object can do wears off, the child will loose interest. Why would they stay interested in something that eventually becomes predictable? A non-electronic passive educational toy may not produce the same initial excitement but interest will be sustained indefinitely. The reason for this is that the child has the power to change what the toy can do and their experience continually evolves. The toy thus grows with the child and learning is significantly enhance.

About the Author
Candice Silsby has an extensive background in Early Childhood Education and Human Dev elopement. She have six years experience working with young children as a pre-school teacher and caregiver for children under 3. She worked with special ed children for two years. She has eight years experience as a child entertainer and currently has her own business doing puppet shows for children. She is a Discovery Toys Educational Consultant because the toys are educational and developmentally appropriate. These toys meet the high scrutiny of her Developmental Education background. Discovery Toys improve the quality of life for children and families therefore the world.

by Heidi Hoff

When was the last time you and your kids rolled around on the floor together laughing yourselves silly? If you’re like me, it may have been a while! Sometimes I get caught up in household chores, give errands a priority or answer the phone when I know I should let it ring, instead of making time for my two daughters. It’s not that I don’t play with them; just the opposite is true. It simply seems as if I’m trying to fit them into my daily schedule when in fact I should be scheduling my day around them. I used to be a planner. I would try to organize activities that I thought my girls would learn something from. I’m now much more free and spontaneous with them and I’ve discovered that at their respective ages of four and 20 months that this is the type of play they prefer. Here are some suggestions on how you can be more spontaneous with your children:

1. Play “Chase Around The House” – Kids love to be chased, especially if you’re making a roaring or growling noise while you’re doing it. You’d be surprised how fast their little legs can carry them. This exercise is sure get you’re heart rate up and tone your glutes as well!

    

2. Have a Pillow Fight – Make sure the pillows are small and not too heavy. Throw cushions work best for this activity. Lay a few ground rules, such as not hitting in the face or on the head and when somebody yells: “stop”, then stop.
3. How Many Times Can Each of You Hop on One Foot – Again, a great cardiovascular activity for you and the kids. Alternate feet and vary the directions you’re hopping in. This is good for your children’s coordination and learning left and right, forwards and backwards.

    

4. Pretend You’re Animals – Play a guessing game of what animal Sally is by the sounds she makes and the way she moves. Children love to imitate animals and can imitate various animals from a young age.

    

5. Tickle Each other when you’ve run out of ideas, then a good old-fashioned tickle fight is the answer. Again, don’t tickle too hard and when someone (possibly you!) yells stop, then the tickler must stop. At our house, this game always ends with a kiss!

These activities take little time play and benefit you and your children greatly. They are highly interactive, involve a lot of laughter and take no preparation. They also let your children know that you enjoy being with them and that they make great playmates.

About the Author
Heidi Hoff is the editor of Preschool Planet. Subscribe and get “100 Things to Make From a Cardboard Box” free!

by Kimberly Hargis

Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only because this birthday is more for the parents than for the child. At age 1, a child doesn’t understand the concept of “Birthday Party.” He or she is getting a lot of attention—which is all a 1-year-old wants or understands anyway. You should not go overboard on presents because too much could scare or confuse a child. You should consider getting specialty items such as a plate that says “First Birthday,” a 1-year-old candle, and possible a table cover that everyone could sign with fabric paint to have as keepsakes that can someday be shown (or given to) to your grown child.

Age 2: 2-years-olds should have one or two playmates over for a small Birthday Play Day. Again I suggest you keep a birthday plate and other keepsakes for your 2-year-old.

Age 3: 3-year-olds should have three to four playmates over, and at this age you might have try a birthday game such as “Who can stack the blocks the highest?” I do not recommend having a clown or playing any games that require a blindfold over a child’s eyes such key due to the fact either can scare children at this age. Remember your child has just turned 3, and the playmates are around that age. They are still not able to understand fully structured games very well. They only know if they do something good or better than other children, everyone will give them attention. Again I suggest you collect keepsakes.

Age 4: At 4, children should now be ready for a “real” party. I suggest four or five playmates. 4-year-olds are ready now for party decorations, but I suggest you do less and save your money for the big number “5” birthday (or buy decorations that you can put away and use again). Games such as Musical Chairs, and carrying a hard boiled egg on a spoon to the finish line without dropping it relay race can be appropriate, but remember that games will be played and finished much sooner than you think. Consider having a few of your child’s favorite videos on hand. Even if the kids have seen them 100 times, they will enjoy them. After an hour or so, you will probably need a break and the children might be cranky. A movie they are all spellbound by will be a great way to relax the kids and you. You might want to consider spreading a couple of blankets on the floor and have some pillows handy for sleepyheads!

Age 5: 5-year-olds should have a big party, but remind them that this is because they are the big “5,” and either starting school or just in school, and having a “big” party will not happen every year. Explain to them that big parties are only for special birthdays such as 5 because they have started or are starting school, 10 because that is the first double-digit number, and of course 16 (“Sweet 16” for girls and “Driving Age” for boys). This will save you money in the long run. On the fifth birthday, I suggest you first decide if you want to do it yourself, rent a building or park area but still do it yourself, or call local businesses (like McDonalds) to see what party-planning packages they offer. I personally suggest renting a park area if weather permits because the kids will be just as happy playing on park equipment as they would if you spent a ton of money on a professionally planned party. Have several inexpensive disposable cameras on hand and let your Birthday Boy or Girl take pictures of his or her first “big” party!

Great games for 5-year-olds whether inside or outside are:

by Elizabeth Pantley, author of Perfect Parenting and Kid Cooperation

When I was growing up, the extent of my athletic experience was whatever they made me do twice a week when I put on my goofy blue gym uniform. I hated it! How times have changed! All three of my children have been involved in soccer, baseball, swimming and Ty Kwon Do. And all three say that gym class is one of their favorite classes. I realize that sometimes it’s not easy to get kids to commit to sports activities. But the long term benefits for your child make it worth the battle.

There are many positive aspects of youth sports. Sports promote teamwork, healthy self-esteem, and mastery of skills. Participation in sports also promotes a healthy lifestyle that can combat the TV-computer-coach-potato mentality of many of our children. It’s worth the effort to encourage your child to participate in some kind of sporting activity.

Here’s a section from my book, Perfect Parenting, that addresses the issues of the reluctant athlete:

Question:
My child signs up for athletic lessons and then doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to practice. After a few sessions she wants to quit. How do I get her involved in sports and how do I get her to stay committed?

Think about it:
The first step is to determine the child’s reason for wanting to quit. You can figure this out by taking to the child, talking to the coach and watching a practice session and a game. There may be more than one reason. Review the solutions below for each reason.

1. Child isn’t skilled in the sport: Often children want to join a team because they enjoy watching the big league games on TV and playing with friends at the park. Once they join a team, however, they find that the game is harder than they thought, and they don’t have the skills to play well. Practice – just what the child wants to avoid – is the key to an attitude adjustment. Explain to your child that it takes time and practice to play well and because the session has just started she must give it a fair chance. Make an agreement that she must do her best for the session (or a specific amount of time). After that point, she can either continue, or stop and try something else. Put your agreement in writing and post it. Often a child can handle an activity for a short specific amount of time, and at the end of the time period has adequate skills to enjoy the sport and can then make a better decision about continuing.
2. Child is not having fun: Sometimes, the actual involvement isn’t as fun as the child imagined. First make sure the coach or teacher is compatible with your child. If there is a major personality clash it may be worth it to change coaches. If your child is not correctly matched to the skill level of the team, her inability to keep up could prevent her from having fun. If all seems to be okay in these areas, you can build your child’s interest by taking her to a professional-level game and to a game involving kids a few years older than she is. Another way to increase your child’s commitment to the game is to have enough equipment at home for casual practice, and to take the time to enjoy the game with your child, without the pressure of the formal game.
3. Sport takes up too much time: Most sports activities do require a time commitment from both child and parent. A child who is committed to more than one activity can easily feel overwhelmed. It’s usually best to focus on one extra-curricular activity at a time so that the child still has some time left over after sports and school for free unstructured play.
4. Child feels too much pressure: First experiences with team competition can be difficult for children. It’s especially hard if a child is not a great player. One way to remove some of the pressure is to cheer for the whole team, as opposed to the individual in the spotlight, “Go Redwings!” Another method is to focus on effort, skills and technique. “Good swing! Nice try!” If a child doesn’t ask for advice about how to play better, don’t give any! Leave it to the coaches. Watch how you, other parents, the kids and the coaches respond after a lost game. Look for something positive to say, “What a great effort!” Focus on a few positive details from the game. Find some time to play a casual version of the game at home or at the park so your child can enjoy the process without worrying about who wins.

Make sure you’re offering sports that fit your child’s personality. Some children are drawn to “ball” sports, such as baseball, soccer and tennis. Others prefer swimming, horseback riding, gymnastics or sailing. Analyze your child’s strengths and weaknesses, the things your child enjoys or avoids. Let your child try several different activities until he finds one that suits him. You may have played baseball all through your childhood, and love the game today, but if your child is drawn to swimming instead, open your heart and mind and support the sport your child chooses, while gently encouraging him to try your favorite, too.

Take your child to a few professional-sporting activities of the types you would like him to consider. Often when children see skilled athletes and feel the excitement of the event, they become more interested in trying the activity themselves.

Find a sport activity you can enjoy with your child, such as martial arts, swimming, or tennis, and take lessons together. Children enjoy the attention from a parent, and will learn to enjoy the sport in the process.

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the Author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.