Grandparents: Important Tips to Avoid Favoritism
Becoming a grandparent is an exciting time in your life. Depending on your family and its size, grand parenting is an experience that you are likely to enjoy more than once. Although each grandchild of yours will be loved, it is easy to unintentionally show favoritism, especially when multiple grandchildren are involved.
Although unintentionally showing favoritism may do no harm, it is important that you proceed with caution. If you are not careful, your grandchild or your own child can suffer the consequences, which may include feeling left out or they may feel a lack of importance. With that in mind, there are a number of steps that you can take to prevent favoritism from becoming a problem.
One of the first steps that you will want to take, to avoid favoritism with grandchildren, involves equal time. As a grandparent, it is important that you spend equal time with your grandchildren. Although this may be difficult with busy schedules and possibly even distance, it is important that you take steps to give each grandchild the same or similar amounts of time. Even if it is something as simple as stopping by for a half an hour visit, your time is of great importance to your grandchildren.
Another common mistake that grandparents make involves purchasing gifts for one grandchild and not the other. You are advised to proceed with caution in terms of gifts. This is particularly important with grandchildren who live in the same home. Although birthdays are exceptions to this important rule, you will want to use your best judgment. For instance, if your see an outfit that your granddaughter would love, be sure to pick up another gift, even just a small one, for your grandson. This is the best way to go about avoiding favoritism.
Although newborns and infants may be unable to detect a small amount of favoritism, toddlers and their parents have keen eyes. Unfortunately, most grandparents do not even realize that they are exuding even a small amount of favoritism. That is why you are urged to step back and take a close look at each situation that involves multiple grandchildren. Using your best judgment is one of the best ways to avoid favoritism.
The above mentioned tips are tips that grandparents should always take into consideration. As a reminder, it is important to remember that you do not have to shower your grandchildren with gifts to show your affection. Often times, your love and support will be enough. However, when gifts are involved, it is important that you use your best judgment.
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angry says...
I really appreiciate this article.
I have a 3 year daughter who just recently got a new baby cousin. She seems to like the baby but, is constantly asking me where her grandma is. She says,” she’s with (baby’s name)?”
I just tell her that she is at home. I can see the hurt in my daughter at 3 and I know it will get worse as she gets older. I wish my mother in law would see the hurt too. I was prepared for this before the new baby was even born but, I don’t think I was prepared enough. I would never say anything to my mother in law because somehow I would get the blame for it. She is retired and cannot work around my work schedule but, I am expected to work around hers. I just keep reassuring my daughter that she is important and that seems to help. Grandparents need to be more aware. My grandma always made it a point to feel worthless and the truth is I ended up resenting her for it. If things don’t change my daughter will end up doing the same thing and there is nothing I can do about that. So, think before you act.