by Steve Lampert

Hiring a nanny is a sophisticated process that involves searching, interviewing, checking references and extending an offer to the right candidate. When the nanny has accepted your offer, the final step is conducting a criminal background check. Your offer should be contingent on the outcome of those results.

What to check?
It’s hard to imagine that in this era of the Internet and computerization there is no reliable national criminal database that is accessible by the public. The “gold standard” for checking a nanny’s background is to first run a search using her Social Security Number to see where she has lived in the past seven years. This is done so that a decision can be made on which counties should be searched. Yes, that’s right, these searches are done county by county, not nationally. Few states have a reliable criminal index that is suitable for nanny background checking because nannies tend to commit misdemeanors at most. Many of these indexes only turn up people who have felony convictions and/or have served time. Many states don’t have statewide indexes at all.

Which counties should you search?
Obviously the safest method is to check each county, but in some cases this can get quite costly. A fairly typical scenario may be a nanny who left home to go to college, after which she may have changed schools and then moved again after graduation. So let’s say she’s 23 now and there are four years that can be searched since she turned 18.

2001 — lived at home, 18 years old
2001-2003 — moved for college
2003-2005 — lived at her second college
2005 — moved after graduation to another city

In this case, since she turned 18 at home and moved shortly thereafter, the duration of time spent at her home residence and the city she moved to after graduation is brief. For someone who wanted to hold their costs down, the two most likely locations to check would be the two cities she lived in from 2001-2005. Again, if you want to be absolutely certain and costs are not an issue, you would need to check each place that appears on the Social Security address check.

What other types of checks can be performed?
Driving records are very important if there is driving involved in your job. A credit report can be ordered if you feel that information may be important to your decision. There is a sexual offenders list for each state that should be checked as well. There are numerous other reports that may be ordered if you feel the need.

How do I perform the check?
The Fair Credit Reporting Act (which applies to more than just credit checks) requires that you have a written release from your nanny to perform the check. This form is downloaded and filled out by the family and then completed and signed by the nanny.

What are some of the limitations of the checks?
Every company that does these checks warns that these reports cannot guarantee complete accuracy. Also, there is a charge for each type of check that you order, so figuring out your budget ahead of time can help you prioritize which type of checks to run.

All in all, running a background check on a potential nanny for your children is essential. These steps should help make that process more informative and resourceful.

About the Author
Steve Lampert is the President of www.enannysource.com, a web-based nanny search service. Prior to starting the company in 2001, he was president of a well-known nanny agency in Los Angeles. He lives with his wife of 13 years and 8 year-old son in the San Fernando Valley in California. His son’s nanny has been with the family since he was born.

By Kathryn Sansone

It’s easy for parents today to get swept up in their children’s lives. From the minute we take them home, put on their first diapers, and give them their first bottles, we begin trying our best to fulfill all of our children’s needs and demands. Get some tips for reconnecting and romance from Kathryn Sansone, who’s mom to 10 kids as well as the author of Woman First, Family Always: Real-Life Wisdom from a Mother of Ten.

While I am a firm believer in being a thoughtful, committed parent, I also know that if couples don’t put their relationship first (most of the time), then no amount of devotion to their kids will keep their relationship alive.

That said, I also realize that it’s not easy to keep a healthy balance between thinking of ourselves as both partners and as parents. How do we achieve the right balance that makes us feel that we are doing a good job as parents without losing sight of the reason you became a family in the first place?

Carve out time
Despite so many kids, so many demands, and so much enjoyment we get from our kids, Jim and I always carve out time for just the two of us. It’s not always easy, but we don’t waste time trying to figure out if we deserve it.

One night last summer we did just that. It was a Friday and I had been with the kids all week. I was exhausted and had spent all my energy reserves. As usual the kids had a swim meet and Jim and I had planned to meet there to watch them race. When he arrived from the office, we took one look at each other and knew we needed to create time for just the two of us. At the end of the swim meet, we took the kids to McDonald’s (not something we regularly do) and then home. Once they were showered, in their pajamas, and set for bed, we headed out the door, leaving the older kids to babysit.

We didn’t deliberate over whether the kids were okay — we knew they were safe and sound. And we also knew it was just as important for us to have time alone. We had a lovely — albeit short — dinner out and enjoyed every minute of it.

The best gift you can give your children is a loving relationship with your spouse. When children know — and witness — their parents putting aside time for each other, kids understand that their parents are committed to each other. They also know that their parents love each other. In turn this love between their parents makes kids feel safe, enabling them to grow unhindered, following their own unique destinies.

On the other hand when children are always put first or experience rancor between their parents, constant fighting, verbal violence, or a lack of trust, then children question the very root of their foundation. Such a lack of safety breeds internal chaos and insecurity — two obstacles to healthy self-esteem and confidence. Show your love
For both your children’s sake and your own, it’s important to put energy into your primary relationship. Show your love toward him in front of your kids. Take time to be alone with your spouse. Your kids couldn’t have a better gift than to know their parents love and respect each other and like to spend time with each other.

Consider these ways to reconnect with your spouse:

by Danna Henderson

Potty training can be a stressful experience for you and your child. It’s best to start potty training when your child has an established daily routine and is not dealing with any additional stress. Potty training should be the only major change in your child’s life.

If your child is showing signs of potty training readiness, ask yourself if any of the following situations exist:

New baby – Although the thought of double diaper duty may be overwhelming, your child needs time to adapt to the new baby before you begin potty training.

Divorce or Separation – Divorce or separation is always stressful for children. Your child may be living in two different homes or under two separate sets of rules. When things calm down, share your potty training plan so that you are both aware of the other person’s plan and can work together for the benefit of your child.

New daycare/babysitter – If your child has recently switched day cares or baby-sitters, wait a couple of weeks/months (depending on how your child adapts) before you start potty training.

New bedroom or bed – Small changes, like a new bedroom or bed, can have a big impact on your child. Wait until your child has adapted to his new bed before you begin potty training.

Copyright © 2004 ZIP Baby. All Rights Reserved.

Danna Henderson
ZIP Baby
101 Convention Center Drive, Ste 700
Las Vegas, NV 89109
www.zipbaby.com

About The Author
Danna Henderson started ZIP Baby in order to provide parents with comprehensive potty training information as well as a large variety of potty training products. For more information about potty training, visit the ZIP Baby Potty Training Store.

by Florentin Sardan

The necessity to return to a normal, active life is unavoidable no mater if we talk about shopping and personal problems, or about evenings, in case you return to a social life similar to the period preceding the pregnancy. Subsequently to the beginning period of the relation mother – child when they were inseparable, gradually there is felt the need to return to older habits that restore the feeling of normality.

The feeling of guilt should be kept under control, especially if everything is all right, for the equilibrium of both mother and child. Gradually, both ought to learn to move away from each other, and the child will understand that the mother does not exclusively belong to him.

When there are no close friends or family who can come to take care of the child, the only solution is to appeal to a baby-sitter.

It is always better to entrust the child, especially for the first time, to a person you already know, or to a person who was recommended to you and you can trust completely. Maybe during the previous weeks a young woman helped you with housekeeping? In this case, resort to her: the baby already knows her, which is an advantage. If you do not know the person who will come in your absence, ask him/her to come the day before, in order to see how he/she behaves with the baby and to make his/her acquaintance. It has no importance whether there is a girl or a boy, a younger person or an older one. What is essential is not the experience he/she has with children, but the goodness of the heart and the common sense. What matters is to find a trustworthy, sure person, who loves kids and makes kind gestures.

What you should do?

What about the separation?
Warn the child that you will be absent for a while and say good bye to him/her. Even if the child does not understand the exact meaning of the words, your voice will calm him/her down. Say good bye before leaving. The baby is more sensitive to the anxiety of the mother than to the fact that she leaves it for a few hours under the care of another person; for this reason, once the decision has been taken and everything has been organized very well, go lightheartedly and enjoy yourself. If everything gets on well, call that baby-sitter next time as well: he/she will get used to the baby and the baby with him/her.

About the Author:
Copyright 2006 www.BabiesPlaza.com, All Rights Reserved. Find a great deal of articles about feeding, baby care, birthdays, gifts and baby shower tips by visiting Babies Plaza.

Whether it is the holidays or your nanny’s birthday you will want to find the perfect gift to thank them for all they do. It doesn’t even necessarily have to be an occasion that you decide to do something nice for the person who looks after your child, it might just be that you found yourself with a little extra pocket change and you want to share it with the person who is helping to take care of the most important person in your world. What can you get for that special person in your child’s life? We have a lot of ideas for you!

Thank You Letter
No matter what you give your child’s caregiver, you should always attach a special hand written note telling her how thankful you are that she is watching your baby. If your caregiver is at a center be sure that you give a copy to her boss so that her boss knows how great you think she is. If you have the inclination you can make it even more special by creating a card of your own, instead of buying one. Even if you don’t have the money to buy something fancy, spending a little bit of your time to give your caregiver an impromptu note of thanks will mean the world to them.

Gift Certificates
Let her treat herself! Give her a certificate to get a pedicure, a manicure, a facial or even a new hair do! Give her a day at a spa or a relaxing massage. Remember she works hard and probably has very little time to pamper herself. The money you pay her probably goes to bills and her family, so give her a treat that she has to spend on only her.

Free Meals
No, not one you make yourself, but a gift card to a restaurant or a collection of restaurants that your caregiver can choose from. Make sure you include enough that she can take her husband or a friend with her and enjoy a night out on you!

Bath Goodies
Bubble bath, shower gel and lotion are always a big hit with women. Most women love to sit in a bath and relax after a long day and being able to sit in a bath that smells good will make her day. There are so many options in terms of scents that you are sure to find one that she will like.

Coffee and Tea
If your caregiver is a coffee or tea drinker, get her a gift set that may include a new mug with an inspirational message or a mug that is decorated by your child. If it doesn’t come with it include some specialty cookies or biscuits that she can enjoy in the morning before she begins her day.

Handmade Gift from Your Child
If your child is old enough, sit down with them one weekend and help them make a handmade gift for your caregiver. It might be a thank you card, a mug to go along with the tea and coffee, or even a decorated picture frame that you can leave empty or insert with a picture of your caregiver and child. This special handmade and homemade gift from you and your child will probably mean more to your caregiver than anything you could buy for her at the store.

The options for gifts you can give to your child’s caregiver are endless, but giving a gift whether it is for an occasion or out of the blue is always a good idea. After all a caregiver who feels appreciated is probably a happy caregiver and a happy caregiver means that you will have a happy child who is well taken care of.

Whether you are a new parent, or you have just moved to a new area, finding a babysitter that you can rely on and trust can be a daunting task. In some cases you are lucky and can ask a friend, but in others you are all on your own. So how do you go about finding a babysitter you not only can trust, but that your new baby will love.

Many parents will not leave their young baby with anyone but family. Some parents are just not comfortable giving a teenager with little or no experience, who probably has her mind some place other than on your baby, a responsibility that great. Others choose to wait until their baby is on a good schedule, going to sleep at approximately the same time every night and either sleeping all night, or only waking up once, in the early morning hours. This assures then that the baby should sleep the whole time they are gone and that they will be home before the baby needs them.

When you do want to find a babysitter however, where do you look? How do you know that the babysitter you choose will be good for your baby?

Family/Friends
Start with family members and friends. Chances are, at least on the rare occasion, you can find a family member or a friend that will watch your baby for you while you go out for a little while. Whether it is to a doctor’s appointment or a nice, romantic dinner with you significant other, Family and friends, even if it is a teenage cousin or younger sibling you can normally trust will have your baby’s best interest at heart.

Ask For Recommendations
If you have moved to a new area, or have friends with kids, ask them or your neighbors if they have a sitter they would recommend and that they use on a regular basis. Having a referral from someone you trust, can go a long way in helping you build trust with a baby sitter.

Nannies
Look into finding a part time nanny, someone who is registered with a company that does full background checks, and who can come to your house with prior notice for a period of time. These are normally older than you neighborhood babysitter, and should be more responsible and reliable.

Ask For Referrals
If you find a neighborhood teenager, or even if you find a nanny, ask them for referrals – numbers to other families they have sat for. Ask the families if they have liked the babysitter, if they babysitter was reliable and how their kids liked the sitter. Often hearing other people’s opinions can help you feel more comfortable.

Meet the Sitter
Whether it is just your baby, or you have other children as well, have the sitter come over for a little while prior to the day you want her to baby sit for you. Let your kids meet her, and let the baby get to know her a little. No matter what the age, children will normally respond better to someone they have encountered before, with their parents, versus someone who comes in that they don’t know.

Don’t Leave For Long
The first couple of times you leave your sitter with your baby, don’t stay away very long. Come home after just an hour or two so that your baby can get used to you being gone and feel comfortable knowing you are coming back. Also feel free to drop in for a couple of minutes unannounced, or to come home earlier than planned as a way to check up on the sitter.

Security
If you are not completely comfortable leaving your baby with the sitter you have picked, then the best thing to do is NOT leave. If you are comfortable it is always perfectly ok to leave behind some hidden or not so hidden security methods. Some people choose hidden tape recorders to record the audible interaction between your sitter and your baby. Other’s have chosen to actually install video equipment so they can not only get the audible, but the visual interaction as well.

There are a lot of ways to go about finding a great babysitter for your baby and other children. In the end, if you make sure you feel 100% comfortable with the decision you make, you should have a great experience.