By Cami Nettekoven

There are numerous benefits of a Birth Doula. Studies have shown that having a Doula may greatly reduce the percentages of medical intervention. The relationship between Doula and the family is one of respect and comfort. The relationship starts during pregnancy, where the trust is formed. Information is gathered, education is obtained during these early meetings. During labor the Doula is an advocate or liaison for the family. The purpose of the Doula is to support the woman’s ability to give birth.

The Doula is available to educate the family so they may explore their options for their birth experience. This may be in the form of finding the appropriate childbirth class, learning techniques, writing a birth plan, or many other things. Every woman needs and deserves individualized care based on their circumstances and preferences. The Doula respects the desires and decisions of the family by being trustworthy, available, consistent, ethical and honest. It is important to allow the family to express concerns and expectations without judgment. She may expel myths with providing accurate, non-biased information. The information is to empower the family, strengthening them in their awareness and rights. Sometimes assistance is needed in providing questions to ask of the care provider.

A Doula supplies the knowledge of laboring techniques to accommodate the mother. These techniques can speed the length of labor and reduce the rate of medical intervention procedures. The techniques include: laboring and birthing positions, non-medical pain reduction methods, massage, aromatherapy, relaxation and focusing techniques along with emotional comfort and support.

The Doula acknowledges birth as a sacred moment that belongs to the family. She provides continuous support through labor and early post partum. She is the advocate for the family, equipping them with the tools they need to succeed in a joyous birth experience. She respects the privacy of the family. She in no way replaces the father or birth partner’s role, but enhances it. By making suggestions in comfort techniques, and allowing the partner to take a break. Many fathers and partners are eager to help in the support of the mother; however some may need a little guidance. The father’s presence and commitment of love and support is invaluable to the mother. A Doula’s knowledge can help a father or partner to relax and enjoy the experience more fully. The Doula compliments the birth process, by working along side with the family and care providers. A Doula seeks to protect a positive and memorable birthing experience for the entire family. It is most important that the family can be comfortable with the Doula of choice. They should feel free to discuss their fears, hopes, and desires with the Doula.

Doulas do not provide the mother with any clinical care, so they do not replace the doctor or midwife. A Doula’s expertise is in the physiology of labor and birthing by providing comfort measures to the mother. Doula’s have proven to make a favorable impact on the childbirth experience.

Having a Doula accessible after delivery is also beneficial. She may help the family to process the birthing experience. She will facilitate bonding with the baby, as well as initiating breastfeeding. Many breastfeeding moms need a little assistance in getting the baby latched on for the first time. Some gentle suggestions from the Doula can help get breastfeeding get off to a wonderful start.

A Doula strengthens the mother’s ability to birth in a way that stimulates her natural power within. It is important to give the mother confidence in herself and her body. By having a Doula it can help the family get off to a very good start.

About the Author
Cami Nettekoven: Is a trained and certified birth Doula through DONA International. She works in the Greater Kansas City Metro area for home, hospital or birth center births. She is also trained by the Kansas City Missouri Health Department as a Breastfeeding Counselor with Nutritional Services. Cami has 6 children and has 9 years of personal breastfeeding experience. All of her pregnancies have been high-risk, with pre-term labor and delivery, gestational diabetes, and a baby with abnormalities. It is her privilege as a Doula is to help families understand the nature of the birth process and to empower them with the tools to make pregnancy, childbirth, and their life beyond an experience of fulfillment and joy. Her web site is www.kansascitydoula.com.

by Deborah Shelton

Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and validated. They also allow younger children to feel they are an important part of the decision-making process when it comes to family vacations and other major and minor family functions.

Before the first meeting commences, set a few ground rules such as:

• Speak in a calm tone.
• Avoid name-calling, finger-pointing, and sarcasm.
• Turn off the TV, radio and telephones.
• Allow each person to voice his or her concerns and ideas.
• Listen to all opinions before making a decision.
• If a person voices a complaint, they must also bring to the table at least one possible remedy to the situation.

Locations for future family meetings may also be brainstormed at the first meeting. Here are a few examples:

Circle Time
Very simply, sit on the floor together, in a circle. Designate an object as a “talking token”. This can be a small stuffed animal, a necklace to be worn, a hat, or any other item that will be passed around. Whoever holds the talking token may speak. Once they are finished, they must pass the token to the next person.

Restaurant Rendezvous
Take turns choosing a favorite restaurant to host your family meetings. For this option, choose an afternoon or evening in the middle of the week, or at off-peak times, to avoid heavy crowds. End the meeting before dessert arrives, so everyone can indulge their sweet tooth happily.

Hobby Haven
I know of several families who hold their meetings at places that cater to their favorite hobbies. For instance, one family conducts their meeting at a bowling alley. Once the meeting is over, they enjoy bowling together. Another family combines their gathering with their love of books, by meeting at a café in their favorite bookstore. And yet another family I know holds their weekly meeting after a joyful round of put-put golf. This option combines family communication and fun.

However, and wherever, your family decides to host the meetings, remember this all-important point: Always end each meeting with a hug!

About The Author
Deborah Shelton is a mother, freelance writer, and author of the brand new book, The Five Minute Parent: Fun & Fast Activities for You and Your Little Ones. Visit Deborah’s website for more family-friendly ideas: www.fiveminuteparent.com.
deborah@fiveminuteparent.com

by Gary Hendricks

Oh gosh … he’s at it again! Wailing and crying for God knows what reason. Do you have a problem with your child’s tantrums? Here’s a quick guide on how to handle them during those stressful moments.

Why Do Children Throw Tantrums?
Studies have shown that when children throw tantrums, they do not mean to be rude or manipulative on purpose. At their age, toddlers are just beginning to understand a lot more of the words they hear. However, given their limited vocal skills, they can’t communicate easily. And when your child can’t express how he feels, frustration mounts.

How Should I React?
Ok, most important rule is … don’t lose your cool. Repeat … don’t lose your cool. He or she may be making a huge scene in the public, embarrassing you in front of the in-laws, it doesn’t matter. Just grit your teeth and bear with it. My suggestion is to just sit down and be with your child while he or she rages.

I know it’s tough – particularly in public. Just try to stop thinking about what others think, any parent out there would understand the situation. Do not concede and give in. If you concede, you will be teaching your child that throwing a tantrum will allow him or her to get what they want.

If, however, your child gets to the point where they start hitting people or throwing things, just pick him up and carry him to a safe place, such as his bedroom. Explain in a firm voice why he’s there (e.g. “because you hit Grandma”).

Preventive Measures
Taking preventive measures also works. If you know your kid gets frustrated when hungry, carry snacks along with you. If you’re going from one place to the next, alert your child and let him know (e.g. “After you finish your storybook, we’re going for dinner”).

If all else fails, do consult your pediatrician who can give expert advice on your child’s tantrums and check if there are any physical or psychological problems.

About the Author
Need Some Advice on Parenting and Baby Care? Gary Hendricks has compiled the best articles on parenting, baby care and baby products at the Baby Product Guide.

by Armin Brott

Dear Mr. Dad: I’m a new father. I haven’t had much experience with infants and I want to be involved in my daughter’s care, but every time I try to pick her up, she starts to fret. How can I feel more competent?

Armin answers: Few things can make a man feel less like a man than feeling incompetent. And nothing can make a man feel more incompetent than a baby. Fortunately, it’s pretty easy to overcome these feelings.

First of all, let’s start with what NOT to do: Do not hand your daughter off to your wife. She may be able to get her to stop crying a little quicker than you do, but the truth is that whatever your wife knows about children, she learned by doing–just like anything else. And the way you’re going to get better is by doing things, too. Research shows that lack of opportunity may be one of the biggest obstacles to fathers’ feeling more comfortable with their children. In other words, the more time you spend with your child, the more competent you’ll feel.

And don’t give in if your wife offers to take over, either. Instead, try a few lines like, “I think I can handle things,” or “That’s okay–I really need the practice.” There’s nothing wrong with asking her for advice, of course–you both have insights that the other could benefit from. But have her tell you instead of doing it for you. Don’t be afraid to make a few decisions–and a few mistakes–on your own.

Another way to start building confidence is to get to know your baby. And the place to begin is with learning her language. Although her vocabulary is pretty limited right now, if you pay close attention you’ll soon be able to tell the difference between her “I’m tired,” “Feed me now,” “Change my diaper,” and “I want to play” cries. Once you’ve got that down, you’ll be better able to take care of her needs and the two of you will feel a lot better about each other.

New fathers are often quite concerned about what to do with their infants. After all, they don’t talk, they can’t catch a fly ball, and they don’t seem to do much else besides drool. But even if your baby is just a few days old, you can do plenty. Carrying her around and listening to music together are great at this age, and just talking to her is wonderful, but my favorite has always been reading. It doesn’t really matter whether you read War and Peace or the ingredient panel from your toothpaste tube–she won’t understand you yet anyway. The point here is to get her used to hearing your voice, which will make her feel comfortable and secure with you. And that’s what close relationships are built on.

Finally, don’t ever devalue the things you like doing with your child. Men and women have different ways of interacting with their children–men tend to stress the physical and high-energy, women the social and emotional. But don’t let anyone tell you that wrestling, bouncing on the bed, and all the other “guy things” you’re going to do when your daughter is a little older are somehow less important than the “girl things” your partner may do (or want you to do).

About the Author:
Armin Brott, hailed by Time as “the superdad’s superdad,” has written or co-written six critically acclaimed books on fatherhood, including the newly released second edition of Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad’s Guide to the Second and Third Years. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men’s Health, The Washington Post among others. Armin is an experienced radio and TV guest, and has appeared on Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect. He’s the host of “Positive Parenting,” a weekly radio program in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com.

by Armin Brott

At one time or another, all parents struggle with discipline—establishing and enforcing limits, and getting their kids to speak to them respectfully and do what they’re supposed to do. But remember: discipline isn’t only about correction.

It’s also about teaching kids to control themselves and care about others so they can grow up to be productive members of society. Here are some approaches you can use to help your kids to do just that:

1. Be firm. Set reasonable limits, explain them, and enforce them.
2. Be consistent. Your child will learn to adapt to inconsistencies between you and your partner: if you allow jumping on the bed but she doesn’t, for example, the child will do it when he’s with you and won’t when he’s with your partner. However, if you allow jumping one day and prohibit it the next, you’ll only confuse your child and undermine your attempts to get him to listen when you ask him to do something.
3. Compromise. Kids can’t always tell the difference between big and little issues. So give in on a few small things once in a while (an extra piece of birthday cake at the end of a long day might avoid a tantrum). That will give the child a feeling of control and will make it easier for him to go along with the program on the bigger issues (holding hands while crossing the street, for example).
4. Be assertive and specific. “Stop throwing your food now” is much better than “cut that out!”
5. Give choices. Kathryn Kvols, author of Redirecting Children’s Behavior, suggests, for example, that if your child is yanking all the books off a shelf in the living room, you say, “Would you like to stop knocking the books off the shelf or would you like to go to your room?” If he ignores you, gently but firmly lead the child to his room and tell him he can come back into the living room when he’s ready to listen to you.
6. Cut down on the warnings. If the child knows the rules (at this age, all you have to do is ask), impose the promised consequences immediately. If you make a habit of giving six preliminary warnings and three “last” warnings before doing anything, your child will learn to start responding only the eighth or ninth time you ask.
7. Link consequences directly to the problem behavior. And don’t forget–clearly and simply–to explain what you’re doing and why: “I’m taking away your hammer because you hit me,” or “I asked you not to take that egg out of the fridge and you didn’t listen to me. Now you’ll have to help me clean it up.”
8. No banking. If you’re imposing punishments or consequences, do it immediately. You can’t punish a child at the end of the day for something (or a bunch of things) he did earlier–he won’t associate the undesirable action and its consequence.
9. Keep it short. Once the punishment is over (and whatever it is it shouldn’t last any more than a minute per year of age), get back to your life. There’s no need to review, summarize, or make sure the child got the point.
10. Stay calm. Screaming, ranting, or raving can easily cross the line into verbal abuse that can do long-term damage to your child’s self-esteem.
11. Get down to your child’s level. When your talking to your child—especially to criticize–kneel or sit. You’ll still be big enough that he’ll know who the boss is.
12. Don’t lecture. Instead, ask questions to engage the child in a discussion of the problematic behavior: “Is smoking cigars okay for kids or not?” “Do you like it when someone pushes you down in the park?”
13. Criticize the behavior, not the child. Even such seemingly innocuous comments as “I’ve told you a thousand times…” or “Every single time you…” gives the child the message that he’s doomed to disappointing you no matter what he does.
14. Reinforce positive behavior. We spend so much time criticizing negatives and not enough time complimenting the positives. Heartfelt comments like “I’m so proud of you when I see you cleaning up your toys,” go a long way.
15. Play games. “Let’s see who can put the most toys away” and “I bet I can put my shoes on before you can” are big favorites. But be sure not to put away more toys or to put your shoes on first–kids under five have a tough time losing.
16. Avoid tantrums. Learn to recognize the things that trigger your child’s tantrums. The most common include exhaustion, overstimulation, hunger, and illness. Keeping those factors to a minimum will go a long way toward reducing tantrums.
17. No spanking. It’s bad for the kids and bad for you. Children who get spanked are more likely to suffer from poor self-esteem and depression. They’re also more likely to believe that it’s okay to hit other people when they’re mad. After all, you do.
18. No shaking. It may seem like a less violent way of expressing your frustrations than spanking, but it really isn’t. Shaking your baby can make his little brain rattle around inside his skull, possibly resulting in brain damage.
19. No bribes. It’s tempting to pay a child off to get him to do or not do something. But the risk–and it’s a big one–is that he will demand some kind of payment before complying with just about anything.
20. Be a grown-up. Biting your child or pulling his hair to demonstrate that biting or hitting is wrong or doesn’t feel good will backfire. Guaranteed.
21. Offer cheese with that whine. Tell your child that you simply don’t respond to whining and that you won’t give him what he wants until he asks in a nice way–and stick with it.
22. Set a good example. If your child sees you and your partner arguing without violence, he’ll learn to do the same. If he sees you flouting authority by running red lights, he’ll do the same.

Above all, make sure you understand your child. Trying to discipline him without understanding why he’s doing what he’s doing is a little like taking cough syrup for emphysema: the thing that’s bugging you goes away for a while, but the underlying problem remains–and keeps getting worse with time. The most direct way to solve this is to simply ask your child what’s going on and why he’s acting the way he is–in many case he’ll tell you. If he won’t tell you or doesn’t have the vocabulary to do so, make an educated guess (”Are you writing on the walls because you want me to spend more time with you?”).

About the Author:
Armin Brott, hailed by Time as “the superdad’s superdad,” has written or co-written six critically acclaimed books on fatherhood, including the newly released second edition of Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad’s Guide to the Second and Third Years. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men’s Health, The Washington Post among others. Armin is an experienced radio and TV guest, and has appeared on Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect. He’s the host of “Positive Parenting,” a weekly radio program in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com.

by Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Perfect Parenting and Kid Cooperation

You’ve all been there. Your child isn’t getting his way. He’s crying, yelling, and stomping. As a frustrated parent, you may know, that temper tantrums are a normal childhood reaction to anger and frustration. But knowing this does not make it easier when your child’s ballistic contortions are punctuated by her piercing screams. While it’s normal for your child to have tantrums, your response to them will determine if she keeps having them and having them and having them…

Here are a variety of different ideas that may help you curb your child’s tantrums.

Create a Tantrum Place:
Let your child know in advance that all tantrums will take place in one specific room, such as her bedroom, the bathroom, or the laundry room. When a tantrum starts, you can escort your child to the “tantrum room” with one brief comment, “You can come out when you’re done.” If she comes out of the room, and she’s still having the tantrum, just lead her back repeating, “You can come out when you’re done.” At first your child may spend the whole day in the tantrum room, but she’ll quickly find out that tantrums are no fun without an audience!

Help develop self-control:
If your child has tantrums and can’t seem to calm herself down, it’s best to teach her how to control herself. Do this by enveloping her in a hug and rocking her with soothing words, “It’s okay. Calm down.” When the tantrum is winding down, distract her by washing her face or giving her a drink of water. Do not give in to the child’s original request, and stay calm yourself. At a quiet time, begin to teach your child what to do when she gets angry (explain to her what words and actions are appropriate).

Take away the audience:
As long as your child’s tantrum is not dangerous to her or to property, feel free to say, “I’m leaving the room. Come and get me when you’re done.” And do just that. Busy yourself with something else, and wait patiently for your child to calm down.

Big-kid tantrums? Make an agreement with an older child who displays tantrum behavior that when she starts to lose control, you’re going to ask her to go to her room to cool off. If she doesn’t go immediately to her room when asked, she will lose a privilege (decide in advance what that might be—telephone, TV, or bike riding, for example) or she’ll be assigned an extra chore. This is, of course, in addition to the fact that she still gets to go to her room to calm down.

Use distraction:
When you see your child beginning to lose control, distract her before the tantrum can turn into a full-blown outburst. When you see frustration mounting quickly direct your child to a different activity. Often this is enough to keep a child from having a tantrum.

Preventative measures:
Avoid tantrums by offering your child choices. Instead of saying, “Get ready for bed right now,” which may provoke a tantrum, offer a choice, “What would you like to do first—put on your pajamas or brush your teeth?” In addition, you may be able to elude tantrums by avoiding the situations that most likely set your child off, such as allowing her to become overtired, over-hungry or over-stimulated. For example, running a string of errands which occur during your toddler’s normal nap-time is sure to end with an over-tired child who displays little patience for one more stop before heading home to bed.

Take note:
If your child has frequent intense tantrums it would be wise to talk with your pediatrician, a counselor or a family therapist.

What about public tantrums? Handling tantrums at home is one thing. But what about in public? What if your child yells, stomps, screams, and throws his body onto the floor when he doesn’t get his way. This is frustrating and embarrassing when you’re in a place like the grocery store, toy store, restaurant, or anywhere there’s an interested audience. You may feel like your hands are tied when everyone’s watching you, but this is the key to future problems.

Think about it. The first time your child acted this way in public, you were probably caught off guard. In your embarrassment, you did everything you could to stop the tantrum. If you had looked closely, you would have seen a little twinkle appear in your child’s eye as he realized he discovered a new way to get what he wants. Instead of finding yourself in this situation over and over again, try the following tips for curbing public tantrums.

Prepare in advance:
Use a preventive approach by reviewing desired behavior prior to entering a public building. “Eric, we’re going into the toy store now. We are going to buy a birthday gift for Troy. We are not buying anything for ourselves today. If you see something you like, let me know, and I’ll put it on your wish list. I want you to remember to walk beside me and keep your hands to yourself.”

Be reasonable:
While you may be concentrating on your tasks, your child has been shoved in and out of his car seat and ushered from place to place enduring endless hours looking at grown up knees. You may be able to prevent tantrums by bringing along a toy or snack to keep your child occupied. Also, get him involved by having him select groceries, find the shoe store, read the menu to you, or any other “busy work”. The positive attention and focused activity will keep him too busy to worry about having a tantrum.

Get out of dodge:
When a tantrum starts, put your face next to your child’s ear and announce, “Stop now or we go out to the car.” If he doesn’t stop, pick him up or lead him to the car. Sit him in the back seat while you stand outside the door (or, in foul weather, sit in the front seat and pointedly ignore him). An alternative to the car is to find a secluded bench or quiet corner. If he doesn’t stop quickly, and you can change your schedule, go home. Send him to his room for a specified time (about 3 minutes for every year of age, for example, 15 minutes for a five-year-old.) The extra time it takes to do this once or twice will establish great credibility and can save you from many painful hours at the mall with an obstinate teenager.

Get HIS attention:
Get eye level with your child and say, “Follow me.” Break eye contact and begin to walk away. Walk slowly where he can see you. Many children will follow. If yours doesn’t, stop a short distance away and wait, pretending interest in something else, while you wait. After a few minutes pass, and your child has calmed down, you can approach your child, hold him by the hand, and say, “Let’s go now”.

Use a poker face. Deal with it later:
Stand above your child with arms crossed and a stern face. Say nothing. When the tantrum is over, complete your errands. When you return home, announce that since your child had a tantrum while you were out, he will suffer a consequence now (no dessert after dinner, staying inside, missing his TV show, or going to bed early). Do this once, then use it as your “ace in the hole.” At the next public tantrum say, “Stop now or you will stay inside when we get home, like you did last week.” You child will remember and know you mean business.

Set up a training session:
If public tantrums are a regular occurrence, plan a training session. Go to the grocery store. Buy a few staples and put a nice assortment of your child’s favorite goodies in the cart (potato chips, ice cream, and cookies). Walk around long enough for your child to have the expected tantrum. Walk the cart over to the register and announce to the cashier that you’ll have to leave the groceries and go home because your child is misbehaving. (Smile at the cashier and she’ll probably smile back, happy to see at least one customer controlling her child!) Then go home. Your child will most likely comment on the loss of the goodies. Just say, “Oh well, some other time.” Expect great, loud unhappiness, but long-term value!

If all else fails:
After an unpleasant experience, plan an outing and leave your child at home with a baby sitter. Explain that the tantrum she had the day before is the reason why she is staying home. Expect crying, screaming, and pleading, but be firm. Doing this once has an impact that lasts a long time.

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the Author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

by Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Kid Cooperation and Perfect Parenting

Question:
I can’t believe it! I walked into the playroom and found my child comparing private parts with a friend. They said they were playing “doctor.” I yelled at them and sent the friend home. Later, I felt like I should have handled it in a better way. How should I have handled it?

Think about it:
If you found the kids eating candy before dinner, or playing with a baseball in the house, you’d handle the situation easily. If, however, they were eating candy or playing ball with their clothes off, you’d suddenly feel confused and concerned. That’s because you’re viewing the situation from an adult point of view. Most times, childhood nudity and mutual curiosity is normal and natural. You just need to teach kids what’s appropriate and what’s not.

Say calm:
If you actually walk into a room and catch children playing with their clothes off, it’s best if you can remain calm. Make a statement such as, “It is not appropriate to play with your clothes off.” Help them get dressed and find an activity to get involved in. Later, at a quiet time, have a brief conversation with your child about what is and is not appropriate. Teach that they must always keep their private areas (bathing suit areas) covered. If this happens with the same two children more than once, don’t let them play together unsupervised. (Don’t make a major announcement, just monitor their time together.)

Teaching time:
Take the situation as a cue that your child is ready for more sex education. Spend a brief amount of time answering any of your child’s questions. Let your child’s interest and questions lead the discussion and don’t overwhelm your child with too much information. Give straightforward answers in accurate, but simple terms. Address the issue of appropriate versus inappropriate touching so your child will learn how to be respectful of his own and others privacy.

Read about it:
Purchase a book about sexuality and development. Read it yourself, first, because there’s lots of stuff you may have forgotten, and some things you may not even know! Share it with your child at an appropriate time. Let your child know that you’re available to answer any questions. Two outstanding books for this purpose are: My Body, My Self for Girls and My Body, My Self for Boys both by Lynda Madaras. (Newmarket Press, NY, 1993)

Are they mimicking something they’ve seen? Take a serious look at what television shows or movies your child has been watching. Children model the behavior they see, even if they don’t understand it, so be careful what images they are being exposed to.

Take note:
Excessive interest in sexual topics, or repeated occurrences of sexual play, may be a warning sign of other problems. There may also be cause for concern if one of the children is several years older than the other. Discuss your observations with a pediatrician, school counselor or family therapist.

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

by Jason Rickard

You are a proud parent of a happy and healthy 2 week old baby. You and your spouse have both now gotten into a routine that is comfortable concerning nightly feedings, changing and enjoying your new little one. Your life seems perfect.

Then all that changes as your baby begins to cry uncontrollably and you can not find a reason. He will not take a bottle, he doesn’t need a diaper change, he is not running a fever, but he will not stop crying. What could be wrong? The answer more than likely is colic.

All babies cry, but babies with colic cry more than usual for their age and this usually happens around the same time each day. This does not mean they will cry each and every day. Remember, colic and its causes are still a mystery.

The symptoms are basically the same for any baby with colic and is if your baby starts suddenly fussing and crying without any known reason which last more than three hours a day, for more than three days a week, and for more than three weeks. Your baby’s face may turn red and the area around his mouth may even appear pale. His stomach or abdomen area can be swollen and hard. Most infants with colic curl up in a ball and make fists with their hands. The colic episode may end when your little one is exhausted and falls to sleep.

Colic is not considered an illness, disease, and there are no known real cures. It can occur during the second or third week of your little ones life and can continue to occur until 6 months of age.

There is no reason to worry as about 20 percent of all babies have colic. It is not something you or any caregiver has done.

About the Author
Jason Rickard is the owner of www.yourfavouriteshop.com – Offering White Noise and Relaxation CDs

by Cherie Stirewalt

The crying – oh, the crying. A colicky baby can really drive you to the edge. Failed attempts to soothe her crying may leave you wondering if you are cut out to be a parent after all. But, don’t worry, you are. You just need to arm yourself with some tools to battle each colic-crying outburst.

But, first, let’s define why your colic baby cries.

The most popular theory from scientists lately is an underdeveloped and immature nervous system. I know all women who have given birth can attest to the fact that a baby has a big head. Right?

Wrong. Actually, a baby’s head isn’t big enough to house a brain that is mature enough to have all the survival tools a human infant needs. Their brain is only the size of an apple. The birth canal cannot handle a bigger head (thank God). So, when a baby is born, the only inherent survival skills are sneezing, sucking, swallowing and….CRYING!

Most babies (80%, that is) are capable of crying for a reason, and then calming themselves down. These are usually what I call “the good sleepers” or “easy babies”. They are awake for awhile to learn and accept stimuli. Then they sleep to recover and awake to take in more stimuli.

Unfortunately, a colicky baby is usually NOT a “good sleeper” or an “easy baby”. They are high-maintenance. Their nervous system is overloaded with all the sights and sounds of a new world. And by about dinner time, they’ve had it. The crying begins. Once they start crying, they lack the mechanism to calm themselves down. In my experience, most mothers with colicky infants tell the same story. Their baby fights going to sleep. They won’t take a nap. They won’t stay asleep once they do finally go to sleep. These poor babies never take the time to recover from all the stimuli they have taken in over the course of a day.

So this is where you, as a parent, step in. Reduce the environmental stimuli and recreate the feeling your baby had while in the womb.

Remember, in the womb, your baby was packed in tightly. It was dark. It was warm. And the prominent sound she heard was the “whoosh” of blood flowing through the placenta. This “whoosh” is a little louder than the noise of a vacuum cleaner running.

However, there are other items you might have around the house that can lull your over stimulated colic baby to sleep. Most babies can be soothed by rhythmic, monotonous, low-pitched, humming sound that repeats at 60-70 pulses per minute. Here are 10 such items for you to try:

1. A shower running
2. A fan
3. A running dishwasher
4. A running washing machine
5. A very loud, ticking clock
6. A bathroom fan turned on with the light off
7. A metronome set a 60 beats per minute
8. A radio tuned to static
9. A tv tuned to static
10. Smooth jazz or easy listening stations

While listening to these rhythmic sounds, it is best to lower the lights, and make your baby comfortable. Remember, we are trying to recreate the feeling of being in the womb.

Finally, it is true what you read. Baby colic does eventually come to an end. As your baby grows, and their brains increase in size, all of the circuits mature and they learn the survival tools necessary to cope. It only takes about three to six months. In the meantime, when you feel a crying outburst about to happen, turn off the lights…and turn on all your household appliances.

Just kidding!

About the Author
Cherie is the webmaster of www.colic-baby-bootcamp.com and specializes in teaching parents methods for handling a baby with colic. Article Source: EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cherie_Stirewalt.

by Cherie Stirewalt

Surviving a baby with colic truly deserves an award of some sort. The relentless screaming can really drive you to the edge.

Unfortunately for the parents of a colic baby, most of the focus of surviving is usually geared towards how to relieve the suffering for your baby. But, what about your suffering?

Here are 10 tips on HOW to keep your sanity while enduring a fit of colic.

1. Buy a baby monitor with lights that indicate the level of noise coming from your baby. Take this monitor with you everywhere, put it on mute and get as far away from the screaming as possible. Physically check on your baby every now and then to make sure everything is alright. When the levels on the lights stop dancing, chances are your baby has calmed down.

2. Put on headphones. Listen to music. Keep the above monitor with you to determine when baby has calmed down.

3. Take a shower. The warm water will relax you, and the noise will drown out the ear-piercing crying.

4. Go for a walk. Exercise is great for alleviating tension and the motion might settle the baby down.

5. If possible, find a sitter and leave. Go shopping, run errands, go work out, go for a walk. Get some distance between you and the baby. Don’t leave the baby unattended. Make sure you have a sitter first!

6. Call friends or family on the telephone. Don’t bottle up your frustration. Let it out. Complain to your hearts content. Your friends and family will understand and you will feel better.

7. Do something therapeutic with your hands. Paint your fingernails, color in a coloring book, do some housework. Anything that diverts your attention away from the crying and towards something constructive.

8. Vacuum. The vacuum cleaner will drown out the screams coming from the baby. Also, the frequency of white noise output by a vacuum is particularly effective in calming a colicky baby.

9. Surf the internet. Look up ways to calm a colic baby!

10. Keep telling yourself the colic will eventually go away. Take it day by day and know there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Colic does not last forever!

Remember, you are not an incompetent parent if you’ve done everything possible to relieve your baby’s colic and you need to step away from the situation for a while. This simply makes you human.

About the Author
Cherie is the webmaster of www.colic-baby-bootcamp.com and specializes in teaching parents methods for handling a baby with colic. Article Source: EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cherie_Stirewalt.