Helping Your Children Discover Themselves

admin — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 14:07:20 +0000

By Maggie Macaulay

In Tarzan II, the future King of the Jungle struggles to belong in a world in which he is very different. In his search for self, Tarzan faces tough challenges. We are all on this life-long journey of self-discovery, and we can help our child as she explores her place in the world.

Accepting Differences
We are all different. Even identical twins relish their differences. It is when “different” becomes “less than” or “better than” that it presents a problem. When acceptance is based on being the same as others, we interpret our differences as something to eliminate or hide. Our differences are wonderful tributes to our uniqueness. The more we embrace them, the more self-acceptance we gain. Here are a few ways we can help our children gain self acceptance:

Celebrate your child’s uniqueness. If most of the children you know are interested in baseball and your child wants to play the violin, encourage his interest in music. Explore different activities with your child to see where his interests lie. Let your child be your guide. If your daughter looks bored to tears at a soccer game but her face lights up when she sings in the drama production, there’s your ticket.

Avoid labeling your child or allowing others to label him, even if it is a “positive” label. Saying “You are the smartest student in your class” when he brings home a great report card or, “You certainly have all of the artistic talent in our family” when he draws a terrific picture may feel like encouragement. However, tagging your child as the “best” or “smartest” actually puts a lot of pressure on him. It separates him from his peers or family members and sets up competition to out do others. Motivation then comes from the outside rather than the inside. Instead, ask him what picture he is most proud of, what he likes the most about his drawing, or simply say, “Tell me about it.”

Teach your child that teasing, name calling, and exclusion from the group are not helpful ways to resolve conflict. Teach your child respectful ways to get what he wants and be clear that these other means are not acceptable.

Give your child the words to use if he is teased, called names, or excluded. “I am not for [teasing or name calling]” is an assertive response, as is “I don’t like it when you leave me out. How can we play together?”Feeling Capable
When a child’s self-esteem is high, he can confidently handle challenges. Feeling capable is a part of self-esteem, and we feel capable by successfully meeting challenges. Here are a few ways to help build your children’s self-esteem:

Let them help with activities around the house. Children want to help. Let them whisk the eggs, sweep the floor, feed the pets, fold the clothes, or water the plants. Pick activities that are age appropriate so that your child can experience success. Acknowledge his helpfulness. You can probably get something done quicker or with less mess if you do it yourself, but the value the activity provides for your child far outweighs speed and neatness.

Do not do things for your child that she can do for herself. Pick one thing every week that you are doing for your child that she is able to do for herself and let her do it.

Let your child lead. Ask for his opinion or help solving a problem. Let your child choose a family activity or what to have for dinner. Put your child in charge of making sure that everyone has brushed his teeth, buckled his seat belt, or turned off the lights at night. By helping your children accept differences and providing them with opportunities to feel capable, you’ll encourage them in their journey of self-discovery.About the Author
(c) 2005 – By Maggie Macaulay, MSEd., owner of Whole Hearted Parenting, a parent educator, coach, public speaker, and co-founder of Whole Hearted Adoption seminars. Tarzan 2, by Disney DVD, is now available! For more information, visit www.guerillamom.com/go/go.php/t2.

Make Every Day A Mother’s Day!

admin — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 15:49:51 +0000

by Angela Renee

The word mother and mothers day are simple, yet powerful little words that you hear all the time especially so around the time of mothers day when everyone seem to be scrambling for ideas to say thank you, you are surely loved and you are appreciated all over again.

But if you would just take time out, you would realize that useful hints were probably being dropped all alone and throughout the year. In fact, with that special day being only a few weeks away, some of your thoughts at this time can range anywhere from what are you going to do for your mother, spouse or other loved one to should it be a product gift or something more personal. If it is the product route, how can it be made more personalized? If it is the gift of time, how can it be made more personal?

Mothers Day for some will be welcomed with feelings of excitement while for others it may be a day of mixed feelings especially so if the mother you will honor has lost a child to tragedy. So that is why whenever you wish to honor someone in your own little way, you should consider where that person may be in their life and then the event. Many people say that it’s the thought that counts and yes that’s a very good point but so is too know a person and mother’s day is no exception.

To give you some examples, consider a single mother who’s been struggling to raise her children and doing it all alone in every sense of the word, what would make her day on mother’s day? What about a seventy-two year old mother who has raised her children but suddenly took on the new responsibilities of raising her grand children, what would she possibly want or deserve?

Sure a bouquet of flowers or some other last minute gift would be nice and probably get you off the hook but what would that mother really want to do for that special day? Would she want to spend her day filled with family and special friends or have a day of being responsibility free? If you were in that person’s shoes, which would you hope that someone would honor you with for mother’s day?

You see mothers day or any other day can be made more personal when you put some careful thought into your gift idea. What else would that mother enjoy? What has she wanted to do for a long time? What has she not gotten to experience in her lifetime? How can you really show her she is appreciated?

Even a gift that is accompanied with a carefully written letter or note with meaning can put a smile on a mother’s face! Yes, I know this will not work for all moms but that’s why in the article it says that YOU need to really know that person. So please just remember it really is the thought that counts especially when you did take some time out to put some thought into your mother’s day gift.

Oh, one last thing, I invite you to help every day become a Mother’s Day. By the way moms, it is ok to drop hints about how you would like to spend your special day and with hope, your spouse, partner, or other loved one will graciously honor your small request. After all, mother’s day on the calendar only comes once a year.

About the Author
Hi, my name is Angela Renee a wife, a mother of three and an infopreneur that works to support all mothers especially those with newborns and pre-teens with every single aspect of their life as a woman, as a partner in a relationship, as a mother and so much more at www.worlds-best-mothers-guide.com.

Baby, Pregnancy, and Parenting at Babies Online » celebrate

Helping Your Children Discover Themselves

Make Every Day A Mother’s Day!