Today’s pregnant woman has many different choices when it comes to her prenatal care. Often, the first choice a woman makes is who to have take care of her during her pregnancy, a midwife or a doctor.

For some the decision is simple. Women who either have medical problems or have had a previous c-section and know that they are going to have another one, choose to see an obstetrician because only they can perform c-sections. However, for most women, the choice isn’t as obvious, and careful research must be undertaken to determine what choice is best for her and her family.

Midwives
Prior to labor, during office visits, a mother to be might find that a midwives’ office is much more personal, friendly, and quicker than a doctor’s office. The wait isn’t as long, and the midwife is willing to listen and answer all your questions no matter how long it takes. While in labor, either at home or the hospital, a midwife will generally not leave the mothers side until labor is over, remaining with the mother to give constant support.

Midwives are generally believed to be more personable and more willing to listen, and to do exactly what the mother-to-be wants during her pregnancy and birth. Midwives generally support and believe in a more natural, comfortable birth for the mother and baby, as well as using less traditional birthing aids such as birthing balls and water births. A midwife also is knowledgeable about perineal massage to help avoid tears and episiotomies during labor, as well as using oils and teas to help your cervix soften and prepare for labor. Also, if a mother-to-be wants to have a homebirth, a midwife is who she would choose to assist her.

Doctors
Doctors can offer a lot of benefits as well. Often a doctor can come with a lot of recommendations from friends. Also, if you register with a group of doctors you will have more than one option of who to see. Many times you will actually see all the doctors at different appointments so you’ll get to know each one. You will also be able to get several different opinions regarding any problems you might be having in your pregnancy in one place, rather than having to go elsewhere for a second opinion. Another benefit is that if your doctor is ill, or has to deliver a baby, you probably won’t have to reschedule your appointment because there should be another doctor that you could see in the practice that day.

Often, you will find that the doctor’s office is packed and you have to wait for your appointment. When you finally get in to see your obstetrician, he is rushed and doesn’t want to take the time to answer your questions. These are common complaints from women who have a doctor versus a midwife for their prenatal care.

Obstetricians can also support and believe in a more natural method of childbirth, but they can also be quick to recommend pain medication during labor. They might also be quick to recommend a c-section if labor is not progressing as fast as they want. You also often won’t find the doctor at the hospital or in your room until it is time to actually deliver the baby, instead leaving the labor, early pushing and delivery up to a nurse to take care of.

The choice between an obstetrician and a midwife is purely personal for each mother-to-be. It is a decision to be weighed carefully and not taken before first getting all the facts. In the end, the mother-to-be wants to be happy and 100% comfortable with whoever she chooses, because this is the person she is going to be depending upon to bring a new life into the world safely.

If you decide that banking your newborn’s cord blood is for you then you need to choose the right cord-blood bank for your needs. Make sure to start your cord-blood bank search early on so you have time to consider all your options before having to choose one. Begin by compiling a list of cord-blood banks and then request information from them. Cross check with doctors and other cord-blood bankers to weed out the undesirable cord-blood banks.

The track record of a cord blood facility should be your number one research issue. The longer a cord bank has been in business, the more likely that it is likely to be a good bet. The choice you make is a choice being made not for you, but for your child or future children.

Do not automatically choose a blood bank near you and assume that it is the best bank for you based on that alone. A banks’ center of operations and their storage facility might not even be in the same state. Make sure you place the importance on choosing the bank that fits your needs and isn’t just a matter of location.

Here are a few questions to take into account before you decide on a cord-blood bank.

How stable is the cord-blood bank you’re looking into financially. You need to worry about the chances of having to transfer your cord blood to another bank if the facility it is at closes for any reason.

How big the bank is and how many cord blood units do they process? The reality of the situation is the more business the bank does usually means more staff and better handling procedures.

If you want to change facilities, are you going to be free to or are you going to be locked into a contract? That means you have no transferring options for whatever reason you might need. Even if you just decide that another bank is better for you.

Check the safeguards the bank has in place should something happen and they go out of business. Will they help you transfer it, give you enough time to have it transferred, or will it be lost?

Do extensive research on the yearly fees for maintenance costs and insurance. Make sure you know what you’re getting into and that there are no surprises. Will the fees increase over time? Are they fixed? Do there seem to be any unreasonable charges or attempts to hide pricing?

Are you in the process of planning a fun and exciting night with your grandchildren? If you are, you may want to look into having a movie night. Movie nights are a great idea for children of all ages.

When it comes to planning a movie night with your grandchildren, one of the biggest challenges that you will face is deciding which movie to watch. Your decision will further be complicated with the more grandchildren that you have in attendance. With that in mind, you will find that the best way to choose the next movie for your movie night is by examining the average age of your grandchildren. Age should play an important part in your next movie night.

If your grandchildren are newborns, infants, toddlers, or even preschoolers, you will find an unlimited number of choices. In the past few years, the market of videos for this age range have skyrocketed. Although having a wide range of options, in terms of movies for your young grandchildren, is nice, it can also be overwhelming. Of course, you will find some variances, but most newborns, infants, and toddlers love just about anything that is colorful or has catchy music. Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, and Blues Clues are popular television shows and videos among those in this age group. It is also important to mention that they are all educational in nature.

If your grandchildren are older in age, like those who may be in elementary school or high school, you will still find a number of different options for your next movie night. With that in mind, you will also want to proceed with caution. It is not uncommon for many tween or teen movies to contain violence or foul language, even if not officially swearing. It may be best to stick with movies that parents approve or movies that are rated G or PG. As a grandparent, there is nothing wrong with playing it safe.

As previously stated, choosing a movie for your next movie can be difficult with the more grandchildren that you have present. If you have a combination of young and old grandchildren, it may be a wise idea to offer a compromise. For instance, let the older children help you choose a movie for this week’s movie night and then the following week or next time, your movie can focus on your younger grandchildren. This compromise is one that can help to please everyone, as well as ensure that your next movie night is a hit.

by Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Kid Cooperation

Would you like to get your kids to willingly cooperate? Stop the daily battles? Teach your kids valuable life skills? If your answer is Yes! Yes! Yes! then read on . . .

There are so many things we must get our children to do and so many things me must stop them from doing! Get up. Get dressed. Don’t dawdle. Do your homework. Eat. It goes on and on. We can get our kids to cooperate and at the same time allow them to learn self discipline and develop good decision making skills. How? By offering choices.

Giving a choice is a very powerful tool that can be used with toddlers through teenagers. This is one skill that every parent should have tattooed on the back of his or her hand as a constant reminder. Parents should use this skill every day, many times a day. Giving children choices is a very effective way to enlist their cooperation because children love having the privilege of choice. It takes the pressure out of your request, and allows a child to feel in control. This makes a child more willing to comply.

Using choice is an effective way to achieve results, and when you get in the habit of offering choices you are doing your children a big favor. As children learn to make simple choices — Milk or juice? — they get the practice required to make bigger choices — Buy two class T-shirts or one sweatshirt? — which gives them the ability as they grow to make more important decisions — Save or spend? Drink beer or soda? Study or fail? Giving children choices allows them to learn to listen to their inner voice. It is a valuable skill that they will carry with them to adulthood.

You should offer choices based on your child’s age and your intent. A toddler can handle two choices, a grade-school child three or four. A teenager can be given general guidelines. Offer choices such that you would be happy with whatever option your child chooses. Otherwise, you’re not being fair. For example, a parent might say, “Either eat your peas or go to your room” but when the child gets up off his chair, the parent yells, “Sit down and eat your dinner, young man!” (So that wasn’t really a choice, was it?)

Here are some ways in which you can use choice:

Do you want to wear your Big Bird pajamas or your Mickey Mouse pajamas?
Do you want to do your homework at the kitchen table or the desk?
Would you rather stop at the gas station or give me the money to fill the tank?
Do you want to wear your coat, carry it, or put on a sweatshirt?
Would you prefer to let the dog out in the yard or take him for a walk?
Do you want to run up to bed or hop like a bunny?
What do you want to do first, take out the trash or dry the dishes?
Do you want to watch five more minutes of TV or ten?

A typical problem with choices is the child who makes up his own choice! For example, “Taylor, do you want to put on your pajamas first, or brush your teeth?” To which little Taylor answers, “I want to watch TV.” What to do? Just smile sweetly and say, “That wasn’t one of the choices. What do you want to do first, put on your pajamas or brush your teeth?”

If your child is still reluctant to choose from the options that you offer, then simply ask, “Would you like to choose or shall I choose for you?” If an appropriate answer is not forthcoming then you can say, “I see that you want me to choose for you.” Then follow through. Make your choice and help your child – by leading or carrying him – so that he can cooperate.

A mother in one of my classes reported using this skill with great success at home. It was after dinner and she said to her husband, “Honey, would you like to clean up the dishes or put the kids to bed?” He responded, “Hey! You’re using that choice this in me!” (All the skills presented in my book will work with adults, too.)

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the Author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.