Finding out that a child has been born with a disability, or that a previously healthy child has suffered an injury or disease that causes a disability can be the most traumatic moment in a parent’s life. Shock is usually the first thing people experience. It can temporarily paralyze you, preventing you from taking action, or even making rational decisions. In this difficult first period it is always wise to take the counsel of professionals and family members with experience or others whom you trust, while always maintaining the right to make the final decision yourselves.

After coming to grips with the shock of their situation, many parents come to feel that their expectations have been dashed, that they are failures as parents or that their family has been destroyed. Uncertainty, blame or jealousy may arise. Parents may worry about hundreds of questions that have few immediate answers which can lead to an unbalanced and overly bleak view of the opportunities, potential, and joy that can be found in raising a child with a disability.

These emotions however are normal; part of a “mourning” process that many parents of children with disabilities go through. If you have these feelings, remember that you are not the only ones who feel this way, and that you will get over them. You can adjust more quickly by obtaining accurate information, sharing your feelings openly with others, seeking professional counseling, and, most importantly, having open discussions with all members of your immediate family. With time, love, and support, any negative emotions you feel can be replaced by positive ones leading to productive actions that will benefit your child.

It is not the end of the world, and many families have become stronger, more loving, and more closely knit because of a disability in the family. The disability gave them the opportunity to work together to help out their loved one, and the entire family shares in the gains that are made by the child. Many of the negatives that parents imagine that go along with having a child who has a disability simply do not occur. While you will have to make some sacrifices, you will still have time for your friends, family, and hobbies. After awhile, many of the activities you once viewed as sacrifices will come to be seen as part of every life, rather than an exceptional burden.

Developing a positive attitude is very important, and although children with disabilities will inevitably become aware of their limitations, they should always be encouraged to take on new challenges. This is sometimes difficult as children with physical limitations may be reluctant to participate in physical activities out of fear of failure. Despite these fears, both the child’s and the parent’s perspective should be “have fun, and do your best.”

Some parents of children with disabilities are unable to have their special child live at home with them, but the vast majority is able to successfully manage within the home. If you are finding you cannot cope, there are alternatives available that will allow you to maintain a loving relationship with your child while maximizing appropriate care.

The most important factor in a family’s success is the motivation to succeed. If a child realizes that his parents always encourage success and will not be satisfied with anything less than his best effort, he will be motivated to succeed. Never settling for failure becomes part of his character, and his self-esteem will be enhanced and maintained.

There is a wide range of disabilities that affect children but the constant emphasis on always trying your best, reinforced in an atmosphere of warmth and support, will help any child with a disability triumph over the challenge that he will face. Instilling this confidence will help him have faith in himself and work on his own behalf throughout the course of his entire life.

About The Author
Dr. Mark Nagler is an acknowledged expert for people with disabilities. He was born with Cerebral Palsy and has triumphed over his disability by becoming an expert in the Disability Studies field. He has a B.A. from the University of British Columbia, a Masters degree from the University of Chicago and a Ph.D. from Stirling University in Britain. Dr. Nagler approaches disability from a different perspective than that offered by most experts and, although he has never been able to write, he was able to achieve his impressive array of degrees. He taught at Hamilton’s McMaster University and the University of Waterloo and he has lectured across Canada, the United States, Britain, Sweden, Hungary and Israel. He has used his cerebral palsy to empower students, parents and anyone else with whom he comes in contact. His book, “Yes You Can”, illustrates his own experience in over coming disability and his other work, “What’s Stopping You?”, conveys strategies that adults can successfully use in living with disabilities. www.marknagler.com. nagler@sympatico.ca

A new baby with colic is one of the most difficult problems a new parent has to cope with. Most new parents are under pressure trying to deal with a new routine and lack of sleep, the added burden of a crying infant you seem powerless to help can be overwhelming. The only comfort that can be offered is, with 1 in 5 babies developing colic, many other parents are suffering too and that by the time the baby is four months old the problem normally disappears.

The normal symptoms of colic are continuous loud crying, flexing and extending the legs, clenching fists and often a distended tummy. Very often this occurs in the late afternoon or early evening, although it can happen at any time.

So what is colic and is there a remedy for it? There are many possible causes, but initially the most important thing that a parent must do is establish that the child is actually suffering from colic and there is not another reason for the crying. Colic, however distressed the baby seems, is not life threatening, but it is essential not to assume a crying baby has colic, check with your doctor immediately.

Once colic has been diagnosed you should try to identify the cause. If you are breastfeeding avoid foods that are likely to cause gas. Make a note of what you are eating, baby may be intolerant to something in your diet, including dairy products. If the baby is bottle fed your doctor may suggest a change of formula. Don’t overfeed the baby, we all know that bloated feeling when we have overeaten, so why shouldn’t baby feel the same. Try hard not to get stressed, I know this isn’t easy but many experts believe that babies are sensitive to stress around them and react. It’s a catch 22 situation, the more crying the greater the stress. Try to take turns in dealing with the crying baby, even rope in grandparents or a close friend so that you can walk away for 30minutes.

A continuous soothing sound such as a washing machine or tumbledryer often works. There are CD’s available that can help and I found that a tape of sea waves worked well, particularly when gently rocking the child.

Seek your doctor’s advice on medicines, he may recommend some colic relief. If colic has been diagnosed but there is any change in the baby’s behaviour, go straight back to your doctor, it’s better to err on the safe side.

Finally remember that it will pass, in a few months that screaming bundle will be toddling about getting into more mischief than you can possibly imagine!

This article is for information only. You should always consult your doctor before commencing any treatment and no liability is accepted.

About the Author:
Margaret Tye runs the FromTots2Teens website that offers information on supplies for children of all ages as well as advice on health and other child and teenage related problems.

When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor night and day, rocking and swaddling, singing and even crying…anything to make my new little miracle stop her endless crying. Well, everyone told me she just had colic and that it would pass. And, alas, pass it did, however I wish that I would have known then what I know now.

There are many theories about the causes of colic. Many believe that it is breastfeeding that causes it. “Either you are eating something that is not suited to her little tummy or you must be feeding her too much..” they will tell you. Well, maybe. Others believe that bottlefed babies are allergic to the formula. “Switch his formula and he will be just fine…” they will tell you. Well, yes that could be it too. Some will say it is gas or an immature nervous system. Maybe. And the list goes on and on.

However, I believe that the answer to solving colic problems is simple. Babies simply “come out” too early and therefore miss out on their “fourth trimester” in the womb. This new world needs a lot of getting used to, and some transitional coping methods are in order. Below are some sure fire ways to soothe a colicky baby and restore them to their comfortable, womb-like environment. Well, they will think so anyway.

1. Swaddle her. Babies up to four months old feel safe and secure when bundled and will calm down. This imitates her cozy womb environment and soothes her cries with a sense of familiarity.
2. Carry him in a sling or carrier close to your body and walk around. The motion will imitate the movements he felt while he was being carried in your womb.
3. Play “white noise” such as the dishwasher, washing machine or even the vacuum cleaner to imitate the sounds she heard while safe and snug in your tummy.
4. If all else fails, go for a car ride. The motion will imitate the frequent movement he felt while in your womb and may calm him, and you, down.

Some of these things will work all of the time and all of these things will work some of the time, but just keep in mind that this will all pass. Enjoy these precious days with your little one because soon you will have to potty train them and you will think back to the good old days…when all you had to worry about was a little colic!

About The Author:
Monica Faircloth is a full time mommmy and the owner of www.TheMommySite.com a resource for all mommies.

You may have heard the term colic applied to any baby who cries a great deal. Not all crying babies have colic, but all colicky babies cry ? and they cry hard. They may stiffen their little bodies, or curl up as if in pain. They may cry so hard that they don’t seem like they even know you are there. When babies cry like this, they take in a lot of air, which creates gas and more pain, which makes them cry even more.

Researchers are still unsure of colic’s exact cause. Some experts believe that colic is related to the immaturity of a baby’s digestive system. Others theorize that a baby’s immature nervous system and inability to handle the constant sensory stimulation that surrounds her cause a breakdown by the end of the day, when colic most often occurs.

Dr. Harvey Karp, in his book The Happiest Baby on the Block (Bantam Books, 2002) introduced a new theory. He believes that babies are born three months too early, and that some babies find their new world too difficult to handle. They yearn for the comforting conditions that occurred in the womb.

Whatever the cause, and it may be a combination of all the theories; colic is among the most exasperating conditions that parents of new babies face. Colic occurs only to newborn babies, up to about four to five months of age. Symptoms include:

• A regular period of nonstop, inconsolable crying, typically late in the day
• Crying bouts that last one to three hours or more
• A healthy and happy disposition at all other times of the day

Can Colic Be Prevented Given that we aren’t sure what causes colic, we don’t know if it can be prevented. Even if you do everything “right” and take all the steps to discourage colic, it still may happen. If you think your baby has colic, talk with your pediatrician and take your baby in for a checkup to rule out any medical cause for your baby’s crying. If your baby is given a clean bill of health, then you’ll know colic is the culprit in the daily crying bouts.

Since colic occurs in newborns, parents often feel that they are doing something wrong to create the situation. Their vulnerability and lack of experience puts them in the position of questioning their own ability to take care of their baby. Hearing your baby cry with colic, and not knowing why it’s happening or what to do about it is painful for you; I know this because one of my four children suffered with colic. Although many years have passed since then (Angela is now 15), I remember it vividly. Hearing my baby cry night after night and not knowing how to help her was gut wrenching, heartbreaking, and frustrating. The most important piece of research I discovered was this: It’s not your fault. Any baby can have colic.

Things That May Help Your Baby
Remember that nothing you do will eliminate colic completely until your baby’s system is mature and able to settle on its own. That said, experienced parents and professionals can offer ways to help your baby though this time ? ask around! I did, and from what I uncovered, I compiled the following suggestions for helping your baby feel better. Look for patterns to your baby’s crying; these can provide clues as to which suggestions are most likely to help. Stick with an idea for a few days to see if it helps. Watch for any signs of improvement (not necessarily complete quiet). If the particular course of action doesn’t seem to change anything, don’t get discouraged ? just try something else:

• If breastfeeding, feed on demand (cue feeding), for nutrition as well as comfort, as often as your baby needs a calming influence.
• If breastfeeding, try avoiding foods that may cause gas in your baby. Eliminate one possible cause for a few days and see if it makes a difference. The most common baby tummy offenders are dairy products, caffeine, cabbage, broccoli and other gassy vegetables. But don’t assume the culprit, if there is one, will be obvious: I know one mother whose baby reacted loudly and consistently after any meal that included eggplant, asparagus or onions.
• If bottlefeeding, offer more frequent but smaller meals; experiment with different formulas with your doctor’s approval.
• If bottlefeeding, try different types of bottles and nipples that prevent air from entering your baby as he drinks, such as those with curved bottles or collapsible liners.
• Hold your baby in a more upright position for feeding and directly afterwards.
• Experiment with how often and when you burp your baby.
• Offer meals in a quiet setting.
• If baby likes a pacifier, offer him one.
• Invest in a baby sling or carrier and use it during colicky periods.
• If the weather’s too unpleasant for an outside stroll, bring your stroller in the house and walk your baby around.
• Give your baby a warm bath.
• Place a warm towel or wrapped water bottle on baby’s tummy (taking caution that the temperature is warm but not hot).
• Hold your baby with her legs curled up toward her belly.
• Massage your baby’s tummy, or give him a full massage.
• Swaddle your baby in a warm blanket.
• Lay your baby tummy down across your lap and massage or pat her back.
• Hold your baby in a rocking chair, or put him in a swing.
• Walk with Baby in a quiet, dark room while you hum or sing.
• Try keeping your baby away from highly stimulating situations during the day when possible to prevent sensory overload, and understand that a particularly busy day may mean a fussier evening.
• Lie on your back and lay your baby on top of your tummy down while massaging his back. (Transfer your baby to his bed if he falls asleep.)
• Take Baby for a ride in the car.
• Play soothing music or turn on white noise such as a vacuum cleaner or running water, or play a CD of nature sounds.
• As a last resort, ask your doctor about medications available for colic and gas.

Tips for Coping
As difficult as colic is for a baby, it is just as challenging for the parents. This can be especially hard for a mother who has other children to care for, who has returned to work, or who is suffering from the baby blues or postpartum depression. Even if everything else in life is perfect, colic is taxing. Here are a few things you can do to take some of the stress out of these colicky times:

• Know that your baby will cry during his colicky time, and while you can do things to make your baby more comfortable, nothing you can do will totally stop the crying. This is not a result of anything you’ve done or not done.
• Plan outings for the times of day when baby is usually happy, or if outings keep your baby happy, plan them for the colicky times.
• Take advantage of another person’s offer to take a turn with the baby, even if it’s just so that you can take a quiet bath or shower.
• Keep reminding yourself that this is only temporary; it will pass.
• Avoid keeping a long to-do list right now; only do what’s most important.
• Talk to other parents of colicky babies so you can share ideas and comfort each other.
• If the crying is getting to you and making you tense or angry, put your baby in his crib, or give him to someone else to hold for a while so that you don’t accidentally shake or harm your baby. (Shaking a baby can cause permanent brain damage, so if you feel angry, and colic can do that to you, put your baby down.)
• Know that babies do not suffer long-term harm from having colic.

When Should I Call the Doctor
Anytime you are concerned about your baby, call your doctor. That goes for anything concerning your precious little one. In the case of colic, be sure to make that call if you notice any of the following:

• Your baby’s crying is accompanied by vomiting.
• Your baby is not gaining weight.
• The colicky behavior lasts longer than four months.
• Your baby seems to be in pain.
• Your baby has a fever.
• Your baby doesn’t want to be held or handled.
• The crying spree isn’t limited to one bout in the evening.
• Your baby does not have regular bowel movements or wet diapers.
• You notice other problems that don’t appear on the previous list of symptoms.
• Your baby’s crying is making you angry or depressed.

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.