Where does your child fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum? (And where do you?) Answer True or False to the following statements (True if it generally applies, False if it generally doesn’t), then add up your True answers to find out.

My child:
1. Is energized by time alone in her room or favorite place.
2. Concentrates deeply if a book or project interests him.
3. Dislikes being interrupted when speaking or involved in a project; rarely interrupts others.
4. Prefers to observe for a while before joining in games.
5. Becomes irritable in crowded places or if she shares a space with others for long periods of time, particularly if she is tired.
6. Listens attentively with good eye contact, but his glance tends to drift away when speaking.
7. Keeps her face and body still or shows little expression, especially if tired or in a large group of children.
8. Sometimes has delayed, hesitant, or low-key responses.
9. Needs time to think before answering a question and may need to rehearse before speaking out.
10. Listens more than he talks, unless the topic is of personal interest. In this case, he may talk up a storm, especially if he’s in a comfortable setting.
11. Doesn’t boast about her knowledge or achievements; she may understand more than she lets on.
12. Feels overwhelmed, rather than energized, by an activity-filled schedule.
13. Sometimes has word-retrieval problems and often speaks in a quiet voice, marked by pauses.
14. Is highly tuned into her own perceptions, ideas, thoughts, feelings, and reactions.
15. Doesn’t like to be the center of attention.
16. Can seem unpredictable: chatty at home or in other comfortable settings and subdued elsewhere; energized one day, low energy the next.
17. May be regarded by classmates as quiet, calm, withdrawn, reserved, or aloof.
18. Is observant and sometimes picks up on details others — even adults — don’t see.
19. Likes consistency, and does best when given ample transition time.
20. Feels anxious when presented with deadlines for a project or a test.
21. May “zone out” if too much is going on, or when watching TV or a video.
22. Has one or two close friends, but may know lots of kids.
23. Has an affinity for creative expression and quiet, imaginative play.
24. Feels drained after parties or group activities, even when she enjoyed them.

Add up the True answers. If you tally between:

17-24 Trues:
Your child is introverted. It is extremely important to understand how to help keep his energy flowing. He will need to conserve energy and spend it wisely in the outside world, and likely will need your help learning to do this. It’s also important to show that you understand and accept his temperament.

9-16 Trues:
Your child falls in the middle range. Like being able to use her right and left hand, your child is both introverted and extroverted. She may feel torn between needing to be alone and wanting to be out and about. Try to assess when she feels energized by outside activities and when she needs quiet time by herself to recharge, so that you can help her develop a schedule that is best for her.

1-8 Trues:
Your child is extroverted. He is energized by people, activities, and things. Try to keep him busy, but also help teach him to value downtime and reflection.

If you’re still not sure if the child (or any person) you are thinking about is an innie or an outie, ask yourself: Does he need to reduce stimulation by creating time alone (or with a special person) or to reflect in quiet in order to feel refreshed most of the time? If so, he is more introverted. It’s not that innies don’t enjoy being with people; it’s just that they need time alone. Likewise, if a person tends to withdraw under stress, he is probably more introverted. If your child is generally peppy and craves outside activity with or without people most of the time, she is probably more extroverted.

About The Author
Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is the author of target=new rel=nofollow>The Introvert Advantage. A marriage and family therapist based in Portland, Oregon, she is one of America’s foremost authorities on introversion. Please visit her website at www.theintrovertadvantage.com.

It doesn’t make sense does it? You do everything possible as a new parent to keep your baby healthy and happy. So why is it, your baby decides to start screaming inconsolably right around dinner time? Just when you need it least.

Ask yourself…

• When your baby starts crying, is it for spells of 3 or more hours at a time?
• Do these crying spells happen 3 or more times a week?
• Did you notice the crying spells becoming more apparent about the 3rd week after you brought your baby home?

If you’ve answered yes to the above questions, you might have a baby with colic.

Colic is the diagnosis many pediatricians tag on a baby who is otherwise healthy and thriving, but follows the “Rule of Threes” as stated above. A colic baby has episodes of inconsolable crying beginning around the 3rd week of life, lasting at least 3 hours a day, for at least 3 days a week.

Attempting to calm a colicky infant can leave a parent emotionally battered and physically exhausted. Some doctors believe the cause of colic stems from your baby having a pain in the gut. “Colic” actually comes from the Greek word kolikos, which means “suffering in the colon.” Sometimes, simply changing the baby’s diet can help dramatically (or changing the mother’s diet in the case of breastfeeding).

However, another theory is emerging about the cause of colic.

Some doctors believe an underdeveloped and immature nervous system may be the cause of colic crying. When a baby is born, its head isn’t big enough to house a brain that is mature enough to have all the survival tools a human infant needs. A baby’s brain is only the size of an apple. The birth canal cannot handle a bigger head. So, when a baby is born, the only inherent survival skills they possess are sneezing, sucking, swallowing and….CRYING!

Eighty percent of babies are capable of crying for a reason, and then calming themselves down. They are awake for awhile to learn and accept stimuli. Then they sleep to recover and awake to take in more stimuli.

A colicky baby is high-maintenance. Their nervous system is overloaded with all the sights and sounds of a new world. And by about dinner time, they’ve had it. The crying begins. Once they start crying, they lack the mechanism to calm themselves down. In my experience, most mothers with colicky infants tell the same story. Their baby fights going to sleep. They won’t take a nap. They won’t stay asleep once they do finally go to sleep. These poor babies never take the time to recover from all the stimuli they have taken in over the course of a day.

What can you, as a parent, do to eliminate these crying spells?

An effective method to calming a colicky infant is by using white noise to mask environmental stimuli.

White noise is something we hear all the time, but rarely pay any attention. You hear white noise from:

• the roar of you wheels while driving in your car,
• the hum of your fan while working at your computer,
• the hum of the motor while running a vacuum cleaner,
• and even from the roar of a crowd while watching sporting events.

White noise is the full spectrum of sound frequencies a human ear can hear combined together all at once. When you hear something that creates a monotonous hum, and maybe kind of makes you sleepy, you are hearing white noise. You can purchase white noise cds and white noise generators, download white noise mp3s or, even try running an appliance (like hair dryers, air conditioners or fans) to create the white noise necessary to calm your baby in the midst of a crying outburst.

Remember, in the womb, your baby was packed in tightly. It was dark. It was warm. And the prominent sound she heard was the “whoosh” of blood flowing through the placenta (a little louder than the noise of a vacuum cleaner running). This “whoosh” of sound actually acted as the white noise your baby heard while in the womb.

You can recreate the feeling your baby had while in the womb. If you lower the lights, swaddle your baby in a blanket, and play some white noise, a colic baby outburst can be eliminated in no time.

About the Author:
Cherie L. Stirewalt is a colic baby survivor and shares her colic experiences on her website Colic-Baby-Bootcamp.com. The site offers a one-of-a-kind white noise download and white noise CD to help frustrated parents cope with their fussy baby fast! Join the Free Colic Baby Bootcamp newsletter and receive more colic related tips and tricks at http://www.colic-baby-bootcamp.com/newsletter.html.

You can tell for sure. Introverted babies and toddlers move away from lights, noise, motion and people. Extroverted babies move toward them.

If your baby moves away from people, it doesn’t mean your little one is going to be unsociable, it just means he or she is going to be an introvert!

Even at a very young age, your introverted child needs to take people on his or her own terms. Often introverted babies and children signal this quality by staring intensely at a new person as if setting up an energetic no man’s land or at least a slow down zone.

I remember the first time I met my enchanting 18 month old nephew. When I entered his bedroom, I waited quietly at the door while his mother lifted him out of the crib and onto the floor. He needed to get a complete sense of who I was. As he came toward me (forced to by circumstances), he looked me right in the eye all the way across the room with his binkie hanging from his hand as if to say, “You can look, but please don’t touch.” Introverts are territorial and they are territorial about their own bodies. One can only imagine the horror of swooping down on a child like this and grabbing him up in your arms. No, no, no on several levels!

An extroverted child on the other hand will begin to create sound and motion in order to draw another person to them. Their faces form vivid expressions as their eyebrows go up and their mouths squeal, shout, laugh or “order” as only a two year old can, “Come here!” or “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!” Their hands twirls, their heads bob and their bodies move toward you as fast as their dancing feet can carry them.

My nephew who made as little motion as possible in crossing the distance between us. I mirrored his body language, always a good thing in human relations but I would have done it anyway. I’m an introvert, too.

We used to have a test that went around in the days before the internet. Among a number of other things, you were asked to react to what it would be like to be in a plain white room with no windows or doors. The way the test was set up, this revealed that it was either your idea of heaven or hell.

Introverts thought it was heaven. They found the lack of environmental stimulation relaxing, a relief, and especially the fact that there were no doors or windows so there could be no unexpected interruptions. Extroverts on the other hand considered the lack of stimulation – color, sound, noise, motion and windows to the outer world – nothing less than an unnatural torture.

Try to keep this vivid example in mind when arranging the environment for your introverted child. Because their inner world is so rich, outwardly speaking, less is definitely more.

Naturally your introverted child loves and needs mom, dad, grandparents and other siblings very much but the idea is to minimize other stimulants so that your child can enjoy personal space and feel good about territorial issues as s/he begins to sort things through in the outer world.

Here are some guidelines for toddler introverts: