Crying It Out
CIO by some people is seen as a cruel way to sleep train a baby. Other people call is a lifesaver and swear it is the only way that either them or their baby can get rest. CIO basically entails putting your baby to bed either for naps or at night while they are awake, and letting them fall asleep on their own. In some cases this means that your baby will cry himself to sleep. For stubborn babies, even ones who are very tired, it may take an hour of crying before they finally fall asleep.

CIO though can and does work as a way to successfully sleep train your baby to go to sleep on his own. It can be very effective with babies who get in the habit of only sleeping if being held or laying in bed with mom and dad. Some babies will actually be able to sense when mom and dad get up and wake up, giving his parents no “down” time. For tips on how to make CIO work for your family read this article.

Mom and Dad
There are people who believe strongly that CIO is not the best way to sleep train a baby and feel that letting their baby learn over time to fall asleep on his own is better than forcing it upon them. They will routinely rock or nurse their baby to sleep, sometimes holding him for hours to keep him from waking up. They believe this will help a stronger bond between their baby and them.

Sometimes parents will turn to books written by different authors on getting their baby to sleep. Some of the popular ones include Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley and The Baby Sleep Book: The Complete Guide to a Good Night’s Rest for the Whole Family by William Sears.

There is no right or wrong way to get your baby to sleep and help him get proper rest. There are right and wrong ways for your family though so it is very important that everyone in the family understands and agrees with the plan you have. Eventually, no matter what you decide, your baby will be able to fall asleep on his own and get a good nights rest.

Does it takes forever for your baby to fall asleep? Does he or she only fall asleep if you breastfeed, give a bottle or pacifier, rock, carry, swing, take a ride in the car, or perform other elaborate rituals? Does your baby wake up frequently throughout the night? Are your sleep issues further complicated because your baby won’t nap easily, or takes very short naps?

Do you ever feel like Leesa, mother of 9-month-old Kyra who said, “I am truly distressed, as the lack of sleep is starting to affect all aspects of my life. I feel as though I can’t carry on an intelligent conversation. I am extremely unorganized and don’t have the energy to even attempt reorganization. I love this child more than anything in the world, and I don’t want to make her cry, but I’m near tears myself thinking about going to bed every night. Sometimes I think, ‘What’s the point? I’ll just be up in an hour anyway.’”

As your sleep issues cast lengthening shadows over your life, you may begin to live purely for the moment. Your sleep-deprived, foggy brain may focus so intently on sleep that you can’t think beyond the next few hours of rest. You may have one – or many – people telling you that you should just let your baby cry to sleep. You are probably frustrated and confused. What you lack is perspective. To gain that perspective, ask yourself these questions:

1. Where will I be five years from now? How will I look back on this time?
2. Will I be proud of how I handled my baby’s sleep routines, or will I regret my actions?
3. How will the things I do with my baby today affect the person he will become in the future?

Once you have some perspective about your baby’s current sleep issues, it is important to be realistic in determining your goals and to be honest in assessing the situation’s effect on your life. Some people can handle two night wakings easily, while others find that the effect of even one night waking is just too much to handle. The key is to evaluate whether your baby’s sleep schedule is a problem in your eyes, or just in those of the people around you.

Begin today by contemplating these questions:

1. Am I content with the way things are, or am I becoming resentful, angry, or frustrated?
2. Is my baby’s nighttime routine negatively affecting my marriage, my job, or my relationships with my other children?
3. Is my baby happy, healthy, and seemingly well rested?
4. Am I happy, healthy, and well rested?
5. What is a reasonable expectation for my baby at his/her age?
6. What naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “acceptable”?
7. What naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “pure bliss”?
8. Why do I want to change my baby’s sleep patterns? Is it truly what’s best for me and my baby, or am I doing this to meet someone else’s expectations?
9. Am I willing to be patient and make a gradual, gentle change for my baby if that means no crying?

Once you answer these questions, you will have a better understanding of not only what is happening with regard to your baby’s sleep, but what approach you will feel most comfortable using to help your baby sleep better.

In addition to my two-year-old son Coleton, I have three older children, and they have afforded me the perspective I lacked the first time around. My children have taught me how very quickly babyhood passes. I struggle now to remember the difficulties of those first couple years, so fleeting are they. And I am proud that I didn’t cave in to the pressures of others around us to do what they felt was right; instead I followed my heart as I gently nurtured all of my babies. That time is long gone for us, but those memories remain. And now, all four of them sleep through the night. And so do I.

About the Author: Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.