Dear Mr. Dad: My wife just had our first child. I’m insanely happy and I want to get more involved but I’ve never been around babies before and have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to do with him. What do you suggest?

Armin answers: Although it may be tempting to just sit around and stare at your baby, marveling at every little thing he does, you’ll need to do a lot more than that if you’re really going to get to know him. Here are some of the best ways to start:

• Hold him. Newborns love to be carried around, held in your arms, held in a pack, etc.

• Talk to him. No, he can’t understand a word you’re saying. In fact, he barely even knows you exist. But talk anyway–explain everything you’re doing as you’re doing it, tell him what’s happening in the news, etc.–it’ll help him get to know the rhythm of the language.

• Change his diapers. It doesn’t sound like much fun, but it’s a great time to interact with the baby one-on-one, to rub his soft belly, tickle his knees, kiss his tiny fingers. For at least the first month or so, he needs to be changed every two hours–baby’s super-sensitive skin shouldn’t stew in human waste–so there are plenty of opportunities. And don’t worry: changing diapers is an acquired skill–in just a few days you’ll be able to do it with your eyes closed (although you probably shouldn’t—especially if you’re using pins). In the meantime, even if you don’t do it right, baby poop washes right off your hands and won’t stain your clothes. One hint, though: immediately after undoing the diaper, put something (like a towel or cloth diaper) over baby for a few seconds. The sudden rush of fresh air on the baby’s crotch can result in your getting sprayed.

• Play with him. During the first few weeks, forget about football and chess. But try to spend at least 20 minutes (probably broken into 5-minute installments) a day doing something with the baby one-on-one. Chatting, reading aloud, rocking, making faces, experimenting with the baby’s reflexes or even simply catching her gaze and looking into his eyes are great activities. Here are a couple of things to remember:

• Take your cues from the baby. If he cries or seems bored, stop what you’re doing. Too much playing can make your child fussy or irritable, so limit play sessions to five minutes or so.

• Be encouraging. Use lots of facial and verbal encouragement, smiles, and laughter. Although the baby can’t understand the words, he definitely understands the feelings. Even at only a few days old, he’ll want to please you, and lots of encouragement will help build his self-confidence.

• Be gentle-—especially with the baby’s head. Because babies’ heads are relatively large (one-quarter of their body size at birth vs. one-seventh by the time they’re adults) and their neck muscles are not yet well developed, their heads tend to be pretty floppy for the first few months. Be sure to support the head—from behind—at all times, and avoid sudden or jerky motions.

About the Author:
Armin Brott, hailed by Time as “the superdad’s superdad,” has written or co-written six critically acclaimed books on fatherhood, including the newly released second edition of Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad’s Guide to the Second and Third Years. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men’s Health, The Washington Post among others. Armin is an experienced radio and TV guest, and has appeared on Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect. He’s the host of “Positive Parenting,” a weekly radio program in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com.

How many times have you seen a pre-verbal child try to communicate? For the numerous years that I worked with babies and toddlers their communicating stage was a constant fascination. As a teacher of children under three years, I often interacted with children, at this stage, who would persist with non-verbal action cues, until I understood exactly what they were trying to tell me.

I have been literally lead around by the hand all over the room or the play yard. In my younger days I took the spiritual approach to the challenge- tuning in my sixth sense to the baby and toddler mind and using my instincts to tune into non-verbal communication. As a more mature adult, I realize that my “sixth sense” tuning fork may have empowered me, but not necessarily the child.

It is only recently that I have learned about the concept of teaching pre-verbal babies and toddlers sign language! What perfect logic, teaching American sign language to children that often use their hands to gesture in an attempt to communicate with less intelligent adults. At the toddler stage children have far more to say then there physical verbal mechanism allow- they are a whole year old, after all.

Toddlers have had numerous months of observing older children and adults communicate through speech and verbal annunciation. They have observed the world around them, vibrant colors and shapes all new and stimulating. They have witnessed the actions of others and their interactions with others. Most of all they have experienced their own drastic changes and relation to the world.

Can you imagine transitioning from flat on your back to quadruped mobility to biped mobility all in under two years. It is only natural that they would have many things to say! Naturally, for a number of reasons, pre-verbal children eagerly take to sign language.

I have discovered the delightful “Baby Signs” a DVD and board book set that teaches pre-verbal children sign language available at my website, work wonders. My friend has been babysitting another friend’s toddler and the transition has been difficult for him. What’s more the other boys in the babysitting co-op are older and have developed speech and annunciation.

In the middle of an afternoon of tears, my friend put the DVD on for the babysitting co-op toddler and he really took to it. He mimicked the signs, a predominate way toddlers learn, and began to use them. He stopped crying and became interested and focused on learning the baby signs.

It is also really for older siblings and friends to learn. Naturally, they can help facilitate the process for the little ones, while at the same time having fun and learning the signs themselves. What a wonderful family experience! It shows that a child can begin to learn the language of signing and continue to develop this skill for years to come.

Best of all the pre-verbal child(ren) are empowered and have their own special way to communicate. It is a wonderful way to transition to the spoken word and it reinforces learning to speak.

About the Author:
Candice Silsby has an extensive background in Early Childhood Education and Human Dev elopement. She have six years experience working with young children as a pre-school teacher and caregiver for children under 3. She worked with special ed children for two years. She has eight years experience as a child entertainer and currently has her own business doing puppet shows for children. She is a Discovery Toys Educational Consultant because the toys are educational and developmentally appropriate. These toys meet the high scrutiny of her Developmental Education background. Discovery Toys improve the quality of life for children and families therefore the world.