Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting would be easier if you didn’t have to make family decisions? Having a partner that is not in agreement with your parenting ideas or discipline approaches is more than just frustrating. It can be a cause of division in even the best of relationships. Furthermore, how you handle your disagreements will have a direct impact on your relationship with your partner and with your children.

It would be great if every couple agreed on everything but that is an unlikely event. One partner may have been raised in a relaxed environment; another may have been raised in a very strict home. What is acceptable by one partner may be appalling to another. It is important to discuss with your partner what your parenting objectives are. Decide what values are important to both of you. You will find that some things are more important to you than to your partner and vice versa. Here are some steps you can do to work towards resolving parenting disagreements.

1. Discuss your parenting objectives. What is important to both of you? Sit down with your partner and decide what values are most important. Also what areas are not as important? 
2. Talk about where your children are developmentally and what they are capable of understanding. Sometimes the reasons for parenting disputes are because one partner thinks that a child is capable of understanding something and the other disagrees. Knowing what your child’s cognitive level is will help you to make better decisions. Do not compare your child to other children. You can use examples based on what they are capable of doing and not doing. For instance, if you ask them to get something out of their toy box, do they understand and go get it? If not expecting your child to be able to understand certain things may be unreasonable. 
3. Find out what both of your parenting strengths and weaknesses are. Many times both parents want the same things for their kids. Compliment your partner on his/her strengths. Don’t just point out your partner’s flaws. 
4. The majority of parenting disagreements are over discipline methods and when it is appropriate to discipline. One parent may think that spanking is the best method and the other may prefer time outs or something else. One of the most effective ways to resolve this issue is to talk about it. Find out the reasons why your partner feels the way he/she does. There are pros and cons to every form of parenting. Talk about why your partner thinks his/her discipline style is the better method. Sometimes talking about it will help you to see each other’s point of view. 
5. If the discussion gets heated, agree to disagree. Fighting about how to parent is only going to make the situation worse. Walk away, take a break and discuss it when you are not angry. 
6. Plan ahead. Discuss problem situations you are having with your children. For instance, if you are having a problem with your child having temper tantrums, discuss how you think this should be handled. If you have a plan in action, it will be easier for both of you to follow each other’s wishes. 
7. Pick your battles. Some things you may never agree on. You don’t have to agree on everything. Find the issues that are most important to you and work on resolving those first. 
8. Do not argue about parenting in front of your children. This is easier said than done. The best way to handle a situation you don’t agree with is not to interrupt but to wait till later and then discuss how you think it could have been handled differently. 
9. Work on role modeling communication. If your children see that you communicate and problem solve together, they will grow up to do the same. Children often repeat patterns of their own parents. Look at your relationship and evaluate how you communicate. Is this the way you would like your children to communicate with their future partner? 
10. Parenting and relationships are a growing process. The more you communicate the better parent/partner you will be. Learn from each other and listen to each other. Build on your parenting strengths and tackle your parenting weaknesses a little at a time. It won’t happen over night but if you continue to discuss things with your partner calmly and positively you will become better parenting partners.

About The Author
Patty Hone is a wife and mommy to three kids. She is also the owner of Justmommies.com. Justmommies is an online community for mommies to make friends and find support. Please visit Justmommies at http://www.justmommies.com. email@justmommies.com

1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don’t rely on the schools, the government, television, the movies or music to teach their children values and the difference between right and wrong. They do it themselves.

2. They have a vision for their family and its future, one that is discussed and shared often. And they support the vision with clearly articulated, clarified and communicated values and beliefs. Every action, behavior, and decision is taken with those values and beliefs firmly in mind. They constantly emphasize the relationship between family successes and acting in accordance with the values and beliefs. They make a clear distinction between right and wrong. Everybody is clear on how things are to be done and why.

3. They are behavioral models for their children. Their behaviors reflect those that they want the kids to emulate. They are honest because they value honesty; open because they value openness; forgiving because they value forgiveness. They make tough decisions when necessary and they take responsibility for the results. They don’t just tell their children what to value and believe; they show them through words and deeds.

4. They enable their children. They communicate high, but achievable behavioral and performance expectations and provide the spiritual, emotional, physical, intellectual and financial resources the children need to successfully achieve them. They know that self-esteem is a function of achievement.

5. They talk with their kids, not at them. They develop feedback loops so the children can come to understand the impact of their behavior on others. They make sure the kids understand the relationship behavior and consequences. And they distinguish between the child and his or her behavior so, when there are problems, they unconditionally love the child while looking for a solution to the problem.

6. They take pains to understand how children develop. As the children are finding their way in the world these parents use a combination of maturity and skill to firmly direct when direction is needed; discuss when the circumstances merit; push the kids away when they are ready to make provisional tries when they are ready to and, finally; they set them free altogether. Through it all, the door is left open for the kids to come back if they needed to.

7. They take an active role in their children’s education, both formal and informal. They are active contributors to both the schools and communities. They enrich the home environment in every way they can. They go to concerts, games, on camping trips and, unfailingly, to the ceremonies that mark the graduations from one stage to the next.

8. Although their children are outstanding in any number of ways, these parents freely admit their kids were anything but perfect. They accept and openly talk about the fact that, while good kids, their children are just as prone as others to the vicissitudes of growing up and, on occasion, their behavior reflects that fact.

9. When the time comes, they discuss the future and provide appropriate advice and guidance regarding career and other life choices that children must eventually make.

10. Through it all they encourage independent, critical thinking so, in the final analysis, each child becomes his or her own person.

© Dr. Tom Olson 2004, all rights reserved Permission to reprint article granted as long as this signature remains intact.

About the Author
Dr. Tom Olson is the author of Don’t Die With Your Helmet On. Visit www.Dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com for more information about Dr. Tom, the book and his work. Contact Dr. Tom at info@dontdiewithyourhelmeton.com.

Providing positive, enjoyable literacy experiences give young children opportunities to gain the knowledge, awareness, skills, and love of learning that they need to later learn to read independently. Here are 8 ways you can provide those experiences:

Choose the Right Books
Choose books that have large colorful pictures or photos; a few words on a page; rich language; and relate to concepts, people, or things in children’s lives. With this exposure, young children learn that books and reading explain the world they live in and ultimately help them better understand themselves. Sound like a tall order for a toddler?

Not really when you consider perennial favorites such as The Hungry Caterpillar. This book does not contain many words but teaches counting and science concepts.

Read Out Loud
Read to children regularly and often. Pick a regular reading time, but also watch for opportunities to read books, signs, letters, or other print spontaneously. The experience of reading as a typical, everyday occurrence helps children gain confidence that they can learn to read themselves.

Stories influence children’s learning for life. Some research suggests that the more stories children hear before entering school, the more likely they will be successful academically. Listening to books benefits their vocabulary and comprehension.

Spending just 15 minutes a day on this worthwhile activity can reap tremendous benefits!

Make Reading Fun
Use a variety of expressions, tones, and voices to make a book even more fun.

Allow a child to listen at her own pace. If a baby fusses or a toddler wanders away, don’t worry. Set the book aside and try again later. A baby may only listen for a minute or two at a time. Toddlers may want to wander around while you read, or listen to a few pages, move on to something else, and then return for a few more pages.

Encourage a child to join in on repeating phrases or rhymes, and honor requests to read the same book over and over.

Make Books Available
Make books available to babies and toddlers every day. Babies don’t distinguish books from other toys and may pull, toss, or chew books. This tactile, physical exploration of books and how they work is important to literacy development.

Show how books work. Point out the cover, show which is the top and bottom, front and back of the book, and talk about how words are read from left to right on the page. Use your finger to point to a word and the corresponding picture on the page.

Talk To Your Child
Remember literacy is about more than reading the printed word, it is about communication and understanding.

According to the National Research Council in Starting Out Right: A Guide to Promoting Reading Success, “Talk is essential – the more meaningful and substantive the better.” Babies and toddlers learn about the sounds, meanings, and ideas in language when adults talk with them. Preschoolers expand their vocabulary and learn sentence structure.

Conversations with your children about what they are reading are critical to children’s learning. Discussing books helps them understand how stories work, and how language works. When reading, stop and talk about the pictures and words on the page.

Listen To Your Child
As much as babies, toddlers, and preschoolers need to hear language, they also need to practice and imitate sounds and words with interested listeners. Respond to your child’s conversation and repeat their words back to them. Ask questions to show you are listening and that encourage a child to talk. Listen carefully and acknowledge answers. Listen to children’s questions and take time to answer.

Sing With Your Child
Children love to sing and can learn a great deal about stories and language from many popular children’s songs. Songs also often teach through their content (alphabet, counting, etc.) Many nursery rhymes can also be learned through song and knowledge of nursery rhymes is an important part of overall literacy.

Pull out old favorites like “This Old Man” or “Where is Thumbkin?” and make up your own songs, too.

Let Your Child Write
When children write, they naturally begin to pay attention to the sounds words make and the letters that form words. And it doesn’t matter how they spell! Recent research shows that young children who are allowed to write often with invented spelling, develop the ability to become good readers.

About the author
Deanna Mascle is the publisher of Preschoolers Learn More. She has three post secondary degrees and 15 years professional experience teaching (plus more years than she’d like to admit as a camp counselor, Sunday School teacher, and Bible Camp staff member) and she needs every scrap of her education and experience to keep up with Noah Mascle, age 4. Visit for more tips and resources for teaching your preschooler including Teach Your Child the Alphabet and Learning to Read through Rhyme.

Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and validated. They also allow younger children to feel they are an important part of the decision-making process when it comes to family vacations and other major and minor family functions.

Before the first meeting commences, set a few ground rules such as:

• Speak in a calm tone.
• Avoid name-calling, finger-pointing, and sarcasm.
• Turn off the TV, radio and telephones.
• Allow each person to voice his or her concerns and ideas.
• Listen to all opinions before making a decision.
• If a person voices a complaint, they must also bring to the table at least one possible remedy to the situation.

Locations for future family meetings may also be brainstormed at the first meeting. Here are a few examples:

Circle Time
Very simply, sit on the floor together, in a circle. Designate an object as a “talking token”. This can be a small stuffed animal, a necklace to be worn, a hat, or any other item that will be passed around. Whoever holds the talking token may speak. Once they are finished, they must pass the token to the next person.

Restaurant Rendezvous
Take turns choosing a favorite restaurant to host your family meetings. For this option, choose an afternoon or evening in the middle of the week, or at off-peak times, to avoid heavy crowds. End the meeting before dessert arrives, so everyone can indulge their sweet tooth happily.

Hobby Haven
I know of several families who hold their meetings at places that cater to their favorite hobbies. For instance, one family conducts their meeting at a bowling alley. Once the meeting is over, they enjoy bowling together. Another family combines their gathering with their love of books, by meeting at a café in their favorite bookstore. And yet another family I know holds their weekly meeting after a joyful round of put-put golf. This option combines family communication and fun.

However, and wherever, your family decides to host the meetings, remember this all-important point: Always end each meeting with a hug!

About The Author
Deborah Shelton is a mother, freelance writer, and author of the brand new book, The Five Minute Parent: Fun & Fast Activities for You and Your Little Ones. Visit Deborah’s website for more family-friendly ideas: www.fiveminuteparent.com.
deborah@fiveminuteparent.com

How can we help children blossom socially and emotionally? Read on for some specific tips.

Look for opportunities to discuss other people’s feelings
By explaining how other people would feel if a particular act occurred, you teach your child to take the perspective of others. “If you hit Irving over the head with that truck, he will probably feel very bad and cry. Do you want that to happen?”

Creating a sensitive human being takes work! It often seems a lot easier to just stop vexing and dangerous toddler behavior without explaining what consequences would follow and why, and how someone would feel as a result. Of course, tomorrow someone will probably come out with a video that claims to teach your child how to work and play well with others. But that product would be a drop in the bucket compared with the power that comes from ongoing human relationships where both mind and heart are learning together. What fills the bucket is the interaction children and adults experience: a product of basic social need.

Watch your language
One way to bring up the perspectives of others is to ask your child about the characters in the stories you read together. Ask questions such as “How do you think this person (the character) feels? How would you feel if you were this person? What do you think the person’s friends could do to help him to feel better?”

In fact, many of the current social and emotional programs that teach children about how to be a good person use games in which children adopt different perspectives. One example is the Interpersonal Cognitive Problem Solving program for elementary school children, which was developed by Professor Myrna Shure of Drexel University in Philadelphia. After the adult shows the children pictures of scenes or verbally describes scenarios such as a fight in school or a moment of frustration, the children are asked, “How do you think this person felt in the story? How might you feel if you were that person? How would you want others to react to you?” At Pennsylvania State University, Professor Mark Greenberg created another program of this type called PATHS (Promoting Alternative Thinking Strategies) that helps children talk about their feelings. These programs have been maximally effective in reducing aggressive behavior and are training children on how to understand others’ minds. They are now used widely in school programs.

Explain to your child that there are causes for people’s feelings
Research by Professor Judy Dunn and her colleagues at Pennsylvania State University examined the conversations that fifty 33-month-old children had in their homes with their mothers about feelings and about what causes them. For example, a mother might say, “You broke my glass (the cause) and that makes me sad (the outcome).” Such conversations were just what Professor Dunn and her colleagues looked for in the parent-child dialogues.

She found that at 40 months, children differed widely in their appreciation of emotions and other minds. The results of this study tell us that talk about emotions and what causes emotions impacts children’s developing theory of mind. Hearing an explanation for others’ behavior does at least two things. It may help stunt the natural anger that arises when you are thwarted so you can respond more constructively. It may also help you look for such mitigating explanations on your own in future altercations. And these differences, in turn, will influence how well children interact with their peers and teachers.

Stop bullying in its tracks
The extreme example of children who are not thinking of the welfare of others is the bully. If your child is frequently the target of bullies, it may be a sign that she is less socially competent and, therefore, has fewer friends and is seen as vulnerable. It turns out that children who are more socially competent and who have more friends are less likely to be bullied.

Researchers have determined that both the bullies and the bullied tend to have certain typical characteristics: The majority of victims, for instance, reinforce bullies by giving in to their demands, crying, assuming defensive postures, and failing to fight back. Victims tend to have a history of overly intrusive parenting, with parents who are controlling and overprotective. These parenting behaviors prompt anxiety, low self-esteem, and dependency, which combine to radiate vulnerability. Bullies often bank on their victim’s dependency and vulnerability; they know the other child won’t fight back. This makes the bully feel powerful. Of course, bullies have their own social deficits. They tend to come from families where there is little warmth or affection. The families also report trouble sharing their feelings. Sometimes parents of bullies have very punitive and rigid discipline styles. Finally, bullies feel less discomfort than average children at the thought of causing pain and suffering.

So what can be done for bullies and their victims? Preschools and kindergartens where peer socialization is integrated into the curriculum are good places to start helping them. Anxious, withdrawn children will benefit greatly from developing just one good friendship. And even when they have conflicts with their peers (yes, conflict is inevitable), they’ll be learning valuable lessons in how to interpret social cues accurately. But in addition to the teaching of social skills at school, it’s also important to evaluate the relationship you have with your child, especially if you suspect that he’s a bully. Remember: Bullies tend to come from families where there’s a lack of affection or little sharing of feelings. Take the time to ask your child how he’s feeling and to really listen to his answer. When he expresses anger or rage, work with him to help him regulate his negative emotions and find peaceful ways to resolve them. Finally, when he talks about problems he’s having with his peers, brainstorm with him to come up with skillful ways he could resolve them.

Finally, children who are not bullies or victims have a powerful role to play in shaping the behavior of other children. Teach your children to speak up on behalf of children being bullied. “Don’t treat her that way; it’s not nice.” “Hitting is not a good way to solve problems. Let’s find a teacher and talk about what happened.” For more examples and role-play situations, check out Sherryll Kraizer’s The Safe Child Book.

Make space for social time
Children sometimes just need to hang out with others or to be by themselves. It might seem as if they are doing “nothing,” but there’s a lot to learn from unscheduled time on their own or with other children. Children need to be able to be spontaneous — to be able to just goof off! Creating playdates for our children helps them diversify their social world and develop additional social tools for dealing with a greater variety of social challenges. And social interactions give you opportunities for discussing emotional situations and others’ perspectives. This cannot be obtained on the fly, in the car between activities, but only from real social interaction that you are present to observe and comment on and coach as the occasion arises.

If your child is in child care or preschool, be sure to build strong connections with your child’s caregiver or teacher
You want your child’s emotions taken seriously when he is not with you, too, and you want that emotional coaching going on whenever a conflict comes up. If you talk with the caregiver on a daily basis about how your child is doing and ask questions about how he gets along with his peers and how disagreements are handled, you’ll have a better sense of whether emotional coaching and mentoring is going on. Get in the habit of building strong ties to the people whom your child spends time with just as it makes a difference when children get consistent messages from their parents, it’s important that the messages they receive from their child care providers are consistent as well.

While there are many things we can do to foster social development, here are some general suggestions for helping your children to tune in to their own feelings.

Avoid ignoring or belittling your child’s feelings
Although often you’d wish such moments would just go away, times of emotional upset can be understood as key opportunities for teaching children how to avoid or resolve such situations, while also taking the feelings of others into consideration. View these times as opportunities to teach your children how to make lemonade out of lemons, while still allowing them to experience their feelings of hurt or disappointment. A versatile recipe for lemonade will be very useful for dealing with life’s inevitable frustrations.

Try to see the world through your children’s eyes
Once you do, you’ll recognize that the things that cause our children pain are often different from the things that cause us, as adults, pain. You don’t want to treat your children any differently than you would want to be treated when you express your emotions. How would you feel if you confided in a friend about something that bothered you and she made fun of you and laughed? Make a point of teaching your child that it’s okay to show negative emotion, such as sadness or fear. Likewise, try to demonstrate positive ways of coping with your own anger and negative feelings. Remember: Your children are watching you for lessons on regulating their emotions.

The bottom line is to talk to your children and invite them to talk to you. The more you try to understand how they feel and help them understand how an event happened, the more coping skills your child will develop. And, as we have documented, social skills are essential for doing well, both in school and in life.

Reprinted from: Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children Really Learn — And Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D., and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Ph.D., with Diane Eyer, Ph.D. © 2003 by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D., and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Ph.D.

About the Authors
Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D., is a member of the psychology department at Temple University, where she directs the Infant Language Laboratory and participated in one of the nation’s largest studies of the effects of child care. The mother of three sons, she also composes and performs children’s music. Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Ph.D., is the H. Rodney Sharp Professor in the School of Education at the University of Delaware, where she holds a joint appointment with the departments of linguistics and psychology and directs the Infant Language Project. She has also been a recipient of the John Simon Guggenheim Memorial Fellowship and is the mother of a son and a daughter. Together, the authors were featured on the PBS Human Language series and are the authors of How Babies Talk. Diane Eyer, Ph.D., is a member of the psychology department at Temple University and author of Motherguilt and Mother-Infant Bonding.

For more information, please visitwww.writtenvoices.com.

It’s easy for parents today to get swept up in their children’s lives. From the minute we take them home, put on their first diapers, and give them their first bottles, we begin trying our best to fulfill all of our children’s needs and demands. Get some tips for reconnecting and romance from Kathryn Sansone, who’s mom to 10 kids as well as the author of Woman First, Family Always: Real-Life Wisdom from a Mother of Ten.

While I am a firm believer in being a thoughtful, committed parent, I also know that if couples don’t put their relationship first (most of the time), then no amount of devotion to their kids will keep their relationship alive.

That said, I also realize that it’s not easy to keep a healthy balance between thinking of ourselves as both partners and as parents. How do we achieve the right balance that makes us feel that we are doing a good job as parents without losing sight of the reason you became a family in the first place?

Carve out time
Despite so many kids, so many demands, and so much enjoyment we get from our kids, Jim and I always carve out time for just the two of us. It’s not always easy, but we don’t waste time trying to figure out if we deserve it.

One night last summer we did just that. It was a Friday and I had been with the kids all week. I was exhausted and had spent all my energy reserves. As usual the kids had a swim meet and Jim and I had planned to meet there to watch them race. When he arrived from the office, we took one look at each other and knew we needed to create time for just the two of us. At the end of the swim meet, we took the kids to McDonald’s (not something we regularly do) and then home. Once they were showered, in their pajamas, and set for bed, we headed out the door, leaving the older kids to babysit.

We didn’t deliberate over whether the kids were okay — we knew they were safe and sound. And we also knew it was just as important for us to have time alone. We had a lovely — albeit short — dinner out and enjoyed every minute of it.

The best gift you can give your children is a loving relationship with your spouse. When children know — and witness — their parents putting aside time for each other, kids understand that their parents are committed to each other. They also know that their parents love each other. In turn this love between their parents makes kids feel safe, enabling them to grow unhindered, following their own unique destinies.

On the other hand when children are always put first or experience rancor between their parents, constant fighting, verbal violence, or a lack of trust, then children question the very root of their foundation. Such a lack of safety breeds internal chaos and insecurity — two obstacles to healthy self-esteem and confidence. Show your love
For both your children’s sake and your own, it’s important to put energy into your primary relationship. Show your love toward him in front of your kids. Take time to be alone with your spouse. Your kids couldn’t have a better gift than to know their parents love and respect each other and like to spend time with each other.

Taking time to reconnect
Even if you feel wiped out at the end of the day, you will feel reenergized simply by reconnecting with your spouse. Granted you may not have the energy to greet him with a beautiful smile on your face each night, but if you do it often enough, he will know that you care about him in that way.

Consider these ways to reconnect with your spouse:

Diapers costing you a fortune? It may be time to tackle one of the most important challenges in your young child’s life… the dreaded potty training experience.

One of the most common questions that I am asked is in regards to subject. Many parents will ask me something like this:

“Do you have any tips on potty training a two year old, that has no desire to try?”

I have been very lucky in my own four children that they potty trained literally on their own, but I have had several daycare kids that were not as interested in this phase of their little lives.

First of all I know that everyone says not to push them, but it is very true. DO NOT try and force the issue. As a parent we must learn to pick our battles with our children and this is one that is not easily won, if they are not ready for it. I started out with “Potty Training” books. There are a lot of different ones out there at your local library, or bookstores (I saw a cute hardcover one at Wal-Mart yesterday called “I Have To Go Potty!” It was under $8.00). There are also many different videos on this topic as well, I know that Dora, and Barney have their own videos on potty training.

Second, talk to your child about the potty in their language. For example: “Mommy and Daddy go pee pee and poopy on the potty, do you think sometime you want to go potty too like Mommy and Daddy?” Make any conversation with them at their level and also answer their questions if they have any.

Third, this is a HUGE deal, so make a big deal out of it. Take your child shopping, have them help in picking out the potty chair or a package of their very own “Big Kid” underwear. Also make sure that you have rewards for them. Whether this be M&M’s, dum dum suckers, skittles, raisins, whatever is a motivator to your child. Purchase those items with your child and make sure to remind them, that the candy is for after they go potty on the potty. (If you do purchase candy, make sure it is something little that you can easily manage, because if you give them a whole bag of M&M’s each time they go potty, you will have one hyper child, just a few m&m’s or skittles at a time and that is why if you purchase suckers go with the smaller ones.) Once your child has the hang of potty training and you are working on night training, again take them to the store and have them pick out something special to them, a stuffed animal, new video, a new book, game, truck, barbie, etc. Tell them that once they are dry all the time and have no more diapers then you and your child will go purchase that special item, “because they are a BIG boy or GIRL.” I can’t stress enough to involve them and make them feel important!!!

If you child is hestitate about even sitting on the potty, do not push them, but make a big deal out of it, when he/she does finally sit on the potty. Encourage him/her to sit on the potty with their diaper on at first if they are too afraid. Gradually work to take the diaper off of them when they are on the potty. Also look for the signs that your child may have that they are about to go potty in their diaper, and then ask them then if they want to go use the potty (remind them of the treat at the end if they do go). Reward them for every little step that they take, so that they feel important. I use to make up a potty dance with my kids. Every time after they went, we would do the potty dance together, and many times even after I went to the bathroom, my kids would do the potty dance for me, because they were then proud of my accomplishment as well. This may sound corny, but it is a great way to motivate your children in not just potty training, but I’ll save that for another article.

You can never encourage your children enough in anything, so start the cheerleading team and “GO POTTY TRAIN!”

Remember, stay positive, go slow and have fun with you child during this trying process! Good Luck.

About The Author
Tammi Kauppinen is a proud stay at home mom with five wonderful children. After graduating from the University of Wisconsin – Whitewater with a degree in Special Education, she decided to find a way to stay home and raise her children. That hasn’t kept her from working with kids! She has run an in-home day care for ten years, worked in variety of school districts with children with special needs, acted as a foster parent to teenage boys and as a respite provider for other foster children. She continues to work with children – including her own – on a daily basis and publishes a weekly email on stay at home mom tips. To sign up for this FREE service go to http://www.stayathomemominc.com.

With 61% of children between the ages of birth and 6 years in daycare, it’s important that parents work closely with their child’s care professional while potty training. When you child is ready for potty training, the right potty training guidance and supplies can make all the difference.

Be Sure Your Child Is Ready – Before you begin potty training, make sure your child is ready. Your child should show the following signs of potty training readiness:

• Expresses an interest in the potty
• Tries to imitate family members
• Stays dry for two hours
• Express the need to go potty or indicates that he or she just has
• Able to pull pants up and down
• Irritated when diapers are wet
• Expresses interest in cotton underwear
• Has predictable bowel movements on a regular basis
• Diaper stays dry overnight

Introduce Potty Training
If your child is in daycare, he or she will probably notice that there are other children around who wear cotton underwear and use the potty. This kind of light peer pressure can motivate your child to want to use the potty as well. Start introducing the idea by watching a potty training book or video together. Be sure and tell your child’s daycare provider that you are beginning the potty training process. You child’s daycare provider can help by watching for signs of potty training readiness and answering questions from your child.

Discuss the Plan
When you begin potty training your child, discuss your plan with your child’s daycare worker. This person has probably potty trained many children and may have useful tips and tricks that he or she has found useful. Make sure your potty training methods are similar.

Set Potty Training Rules
Work together to set some basic potty training guidelines. For example, agree that neither of you will punish your child for accidents or that you’ll give stickers as rewards for using the potty. The potty training process will be easier for your child if both you and the child care worker are providing the same potty training guidance.

Progress Reports
Speak with the child care provider often to exchange progress reports. Both of you need to be aware of any successes or potential problems. If the daycare worker tells you that your child used the potty earlier that day, be sure and tell your child that that you heard about his or her success and that you are proud of him or her.

Copyright © 2004 ZIP Baby. All Rights Reserved.

Danna Henderson
ZIP Baby
101 Convention Center Drive, Ste 700
Las Vegas, NV 89109
www.zipbaby.com

About The Author
Danna Henderson started ZIP Baby in order to provide parents with comprehensive potty training information as well as a large variety of potty training products. For more information about potty training, visit the ZIP Baby Potty Training Store.

When preparing for the birth of your new grandchild, it is important that you sit down with your child and their partner. You will want to devise a plan. This plan is one of the first steps to avoid becoming an overbearing parent or grandparent. Having a mature discussion with your child will give them the opportunity to ask any questions that they may have. If you have any suggestions that you would like to offer, such as the taking of parenting classes or the setup of the nursery, you will want to offer these suggestions, but at the appropriate time and with a polite, helpful approach.

When a new child is born, many grandparents automatically go into the overbearing mode. This is something that you will want to avoid. Yes, you may know of a better way to hold your grandchild or sooth a fussy baby, but you may want to refrain from voicing your suggestions. This is especially important in the beginning. All parents must start somewhere. You will first want to give your son or daughter the opportunity to sooth their baby on their own, and so forth. You may want to provide your own tips should you not see any improvement or if you are asked for guidance.

As your grandchild ages, it is important that you maintain a constant presence in their life. With that in mind, it is important to remember your role as a grandparent. Often times, grandparents are found providing advice and other tips to their grandchildren. This is nice, but you will want to take steps to ensure that you do not upset your son or daughter or their partner. Grandparents who bypass the rules and restrictions of parents are not only deemed overbearing, but a nuisance by many.

In conclusion, you will want to offer helpful tips and suggestions to new parents, when you feel it is needed. Offering unwanted advice and assistance may not only have you labeled as an overbearing grandparent, but it may also complicate the relationship you have with your family, including your grandchild.

As one of nation’s leading birth announcement companies, we’ve helped more than 1 million moms and dads share the great news! Of the many thousands of delightful conversations all of us at Stork Avenue have had with new moms and dads, how they chose a name for their baby is one of the most popular. From those conversations, we’ve come up with a few ideas…

Choosing your baby’s name can be a very emotional experience. Sometimes it’s easy. Usually, it’s not. There’s so much to consider, but the most important thing to remember is to love the name. Here are five tips to help you make the right decision:

1. Don’t rush!
It’s a good idea to have one or more names in mind, but try not to decide until you hold your baby in your arms. When you look into those beautiful eyes, you’ll know for sure.

2. Talk about it
Other than, “Is it a boy or a girl,” the question you’ll be asked most is: “What will you name your baby?” You’ve probably already heard that one a hundred times. Of course, the big day won’t wait, so you’ll need to make the decision. Talking with your spouse, family and friends makes it a team effort and it’s fun, too. You might even have a baby naming party. Check out your family tree. Call relatives, especially those you haven’t talked with in a while. Of course, don’t expect a unanimous decision, but everyone will feel like they helped play a role in an important family decision.

3. Say it out loud
How does it sound? Whisper is softly and then loudly. How about when it’s said with a middle name or your last name? Does it rhyme? If it does, does it sound good? Think about associated nicknames and say them out loud too. Does the name pass the “playground test?” Kids can be pretty tough. Would you say it loudly at a mall? If not, don’t give it to your child. Do you have another child with the same sounding name or even the same first letter? Sometimes, that can be confusing when said aloud.

4. Spell it out
It’s amazing how creative parents can be. Unfortunately, that’s not always best for their child. Creative spellings or pronunciations of popular names will have your child constantly correcting those who mistake it with its more popular version. You can’t forget the initials, either. What do they spell or represent? And, if you plan to call your child by a pet name, it’s probably best to register the full version at birth, so your child has the option to later use a more formal version.

5. Make it meaningful
Your baby’s name should evoke happiness and pleasant feelings. It should reflect qualities and traits that you hope your child will possess. Family names are great and give your baby a rich heritage, but if you don’t like the name, it probably won’t feel right, even if it pleases relatives. A unique name may make your child stand out and feel extra special. But, if it’s too unusual, it could cause problems. It’s also very important that your child has a name with clear gender identification. And finally, it’s always tempting to pick today’s most popular name, but will it be popular 10 or 20 years from now? And, do you really want your first-grader with the same name as four others in the same class?

We know this is not an easy decision, so we’ve developed a few “babynamer” tools to help. You can review lists of popular and unique names, search our databases for the origins and meanings of names and search by the name’s first letter. These databases are updated every day and we are always looking for more handy tools to help you make the best decision. CLICK HERE to go to our BabyNamer web pages.

Good Luck and Congratulations!

About the Author:
Bob and Sue Hunter are the founders of Stork Avenue.

Prepare Your Child for the Changes Ahead
Explain in realistic terms what changes will occur when the baby arrives. Tell your child that new babies cry a lot — when they are tired, hungry, hot or cold, have a wet diaper, need to be cuddled, or sometimes just because they are babies.

Setting up realistic expectations will help them through this challenging, exhilarating time. And, always refer to the baby as “ours” to let your older child have ownership in the arrival of your new member.

Let Your Child Discuss Things Bothering Him
Being heard is probably the most crucial thing you can do to help your child with the transition. And, understand that jealousy is universal. All children experience it in some manner. It is not a predictor of how well your children will relate to each other in later years. But, we do know that if children are not allowed, and even encouraged, to express negative feelings, these feelings will come out in non-productive ways.

Help your child talk through any negative feelings about the baby. This may be difficult for you to hear, but it is much better than the alternative. Anger, jealousy and confusion when kept inside can turn into violence. Children will find a way to express these feelings, through either physical or emotional outlets, if safe spaces for communicating these ideas are not created.

Reassure Your Child You Love Them
It is so important to keep reminding your older children how special they are to you, how much you love them, and how there is no one that could ever take their place in your heart and in your life. Lots of extra hugs and cuddles are a definite must!

Avoid Comparisons
We want to allow our children to be and become their own special selves. Highlight your children’s unique gifts and mirror those back to them so they can see and be proud of their own talents and qualities.

Comparisons are just one of the ways we can cause jealousy and anger. Be aware of your actions and words; children are very sensitive during times of change.

Set Aside Alone Time with Your Older Child
Have your partner, a friend or a sitter watch the baby and take your child out for special times (to the park, to get ice cream or for a walk — just the two of you). Also, use the baby’s naptime to read, sing, dance, play, and talk to your older child.

Time alone will be crucial to your child’s self-esteem and to let them know how important they are to you.

Ask Your Older Child for Help
Explain that babies need lots of extra attention because they can’t do anything for themselves. They will need help eating, getting dressed, bathing – and all of these are things that the big brother/sister can help with. Giving them responsibility with the new baby makes them feel special and a part of the new energy around the baby.

Don’t make the mistake of building an artificial wall between the baby and the older sibling in an effort to protect the new baby. Instead, broaden your already existing family circle to allow for your new member. Don’t shut out the older siblings, but allow them to nurture, cuddle, rock, feed and even help with changing diapers for the baby.

Allow your older child to keep special toys and clothes. Seeing all your toys disappear into the baby’s room can cause anger and jealousy. Know that your older child may have outgrown certain toys but still be attached to others (stuffed animals in particular).

Just Because He Is OLDER Doesn’t Mean He is “Older”
Overnight, your child’s role has changed in the family. Don’t expect him to grow up overnight just because he is the big brother. Many children revert to younger behaviors when the baby arrives and want you to call them baby, too. Knowing that this is perfectly normal (and only temporary) will help you deal with their changes.

Don’t Fuss
There will be enough relatives lavishing attention on the baby and plenty of time for that when your older child is not present. You should talk to your child about all the attention that the baby will get. Let your older child know that you understand how he feels with all the attention going to someone else.

Reinforce the Positives
Try to point out your children’s accomplishments and lavish praise on them. Reinforcing all the good things they do is extremely important at a time that will be full of “don’ts.” It is only natural that there will be many negative rules that will be established (Don’t scream around the baby, don’t pull the baby’s arms, etc.), but remember to focus on the positives.