Any parent who’s ever seen Meatballs, or any other raucous depiction of overnight camp, might want to think twice about sending their child away for a portion of the summer. But the experience can be truly amazing for a kid, especially with the myriad specialty camps and their bounteous facilities. Overnight camp can be a growth experience in which a child can learn more independence, an opportunity to acquire or hone skills (such as a sports or acting), and make friends from places beyond their immediate neighborhood or school. It can also facilitate a kid’s appreciation for the cushiness of home.

While many of the tips recommended for choosing a day camp apply here, these are a few particular suggestions (and a couple of general ones for emphasis) to make the decision on overnight camps easier.

What to consider about overnight camps

1. Is your child ready?
   In weighing the options for what used to be called “sleepaway camp,” first decide whether your child is ready for it. Are they the right age and maturity level? Some kids can start going away at age 7 and others won’t be ready until they are 12, but many children start around 9 or 10 years of age.

    

2. How far/long do want them to go?
   Then, think of how far you want them to travel and how long you want them to be away. Going across the country might be tough for the younger ones and one week away may be sufficient for them as well. But two weeks or more can provide children can provide a rich experience for those above 10.

    

3. What are the costs?
   Price is another major factor in choosing a camp. What can you afford? What’s included in the price? Expensive doesn’t necessarily mean great and there are a lot of moderately priced overnight camps out there. On average, the weekly rate for overnight camps can range from $300 to $1,000.

    

4. What’s the camp look like?
   If you can, tour the camp, preferably with your child. You can check out the facilities for yourself to see if it’s safe and fits your child’s needs. While you’re there, meet the camp director to find out his/her vision, how many years they’ve been in operation, what they counselor to camper ratio is, whether they have licensed drivers or not, and what their safety/medical/emergency preparation is like.

    

5. What are the specialty options?
   These days, overnight camps offer every activity under the same – well beyond the traditional hiking and lake fishing. There are camps that teach kids to scuba dive, manage horses like a cowboy, and even debate like a lawyer. Staffing is the key to the quality of such places, so check out the counselor credentials before making a choice.

    

6. Who else can help you decide?
   Especially helpful in this part of the decision-making is the American Camping Association (ACA) accreditation. This organization checks out countless standards of safety, facility quality, and more. In the West, another group, called the Western Association of Independent Camps (WAIC) asks members to hold to high standards as well.

    

7. Who knows best?
   You do. Certainly, get your child’s input, but as a parent, think with your gut. Can you picture your child here? Is it a little challenging for them or will it terrify them? It wouldn’t hurt to listen to Allan Sherman’s classic comedy song “Hello Mudder, Hello Fadder.” In the song, a kid with fears of malaria and man-eating bears learns to love his overnight camp experience. Chance are, your child will too.

While they’re at camp

1. They’ll be well taken care of
   Once you’ve decided, your camp will provide you with a list of what to pack and what medical preparations you may need to make. While your child is at camp, they’ll be well fed and sheltered (though the beds might be a little rustic), so don’t worry.

    

2. They might get homesick
   You should also discuss with your child the issue of homesickness and what you plan to do about it. Most kids miss home, so prepare yourself for pleading phone calls to pick them up. Decide on the circumstances under which you would go get them and consider making them stringent, such as a medical or serious emotional issue. This is a growth experience so pain can be part of the process of getting to the real fun.

    

3. Don’t change much
   While your kid is away, don’t rearrange the house around or do anything like bringing home a dog. This would make coming home hard for your child and might make them not want to leave home again. But in this time they’re away, do think about documenting what your child was like at this age. Plan a scrapbook to keep letters to home your kid might send and pictures they might take. Some camps even post digital photos that you may download as keepsakes.

Choosing an overnight should be done carefully, but realize there is no guarantee it will turn out perfectly once you do make a selection. Chances are, though, your child will have a massive amount of fun and learn even more about themselves.

About The Author
Gregory Keer is a syndicated columnist, teacher and on-air expert on fatherhood. His Family Man ™ column appears in publications across the country, including LA Parent, Boston Parents’ Paper, Bay Area Parent, Long Island Parenting News, Metro Augusta Parent, and Sydney’s Child in Australia. Keer’s concurrent column, Today’s Family Man, is found at his online fatherhood magazine, FamilyManOnline.com. He also writes for Parenting magazine, the Parents’ Choice Foundation, and Parenthood.com. On television, Keer has appeared on morning shows and cable specials. He is the father of three sons and husband to Wendy, a professor in child development.

Recently, a friend told me she saw Susan Saint James and her husband on the Oprah Show. Having lost their 14 year old son in a plane crash last year, Susan was asked how she got through the experience without bitter anger. She said, “I have found resentment to be futile. It is like taking poison and hoping the other guy dies.”

When I ponder those words, I look at my own teeming resentments — against friends, colleagues, and indeed against life — and wonder how I, who have not suffered her terrible loss, can conquer them with such courage as she has. With the coming of spring, seeing daffodils splash the moist green fields with mustard yellow, I find myself wondering how can I tune out festering resentments and instead import this beauty into my soul.

Here are four strategies on how to douse four common kinds of resentments with the fire extinguisher:

1. Listening
   With resentments against your partner, practice listening: an intimate relationship can be a prime breeding ground for powerful resentments. In a marriage, we could go on for years never really feeling seen by our partner, who seems to get by just fine meeting his needs in the relationship.We are home at our wits end dealing with the kids, but he has had to go out for an emergency meeting with a client — and as it happens, at the club playing doubles in tennis. We feel cheated and duped, but the worst part of it is, we seem to magnetically attract such situations which keep happening. 

   In the end, we resent him so furiously that it saps our energy for love, most of all to ourselves. Don’t get trapped in this cycle. Instead of letting your mind seethe with resentment, tell your partner you want to make an appointment with him for listening. Ask for ten minutes to air your feelings to him, with a rule in place that he only listen and not react for that time. Then give him the same ten minutes to air his feelings. After such listening, you may see his actions in a completely new light and find that, though your feelings may not change, you have used your energy to make them heard rather than singeing yourself with caustic resentment.

2. Distance yourself
   When it’s your boss or colleagues at work, get some distance: the modern day workplace is a pressure cooker where work needing to be competently done is nearly infinite and our time and talents, humbly finite.Under the gun for top performance, the boss may come to objectify us as the means to get it all done, rather than as the sensitive human being we are. He or she may give the coveted, creative jobs to a colleague, while we get the dirty work no one likes. 

   In such situations, I would recommend for a time that we practice what the Christian saints used to call holy indifference. Try taking a break from the job to go out on a brisk walk along the waterfront, in a picturesque part of town, or in a park. I have found that, if while walking you say an affirmation or a mantram, it will blend with the rhythm of your breathing and footstep in a healing harmony.

   When you return back to work, the deep breathing and lovely inner companionship gives you fresh energy to give yourself completely to the job you have been given, however humble. Again, this may not remove your resentment against treatment so seemingly unjust, but it gives you valuable breathing room — and the more positive energy you give to your work, the more remarkable will be the changes that can take place.

3. Put the past to rest
   Many have suffered abusive treatment from parents, siblings, teachers, or religious leaders which left us with a hole in our soul. Nothing we do can stop the burning anger we have against the person who wronged us when we were vulnerable or helpless, yet this very anger saps our will and capacities.Don’t let such feelings fester. Join a twelve step program with others who have suffered similar mistreatment, or seek therapy, so that you can air your feelings in a supportive environment. Like a person injured in a severe crash that goes to the hospital, the experience of recovery in pouring out your feelings will salve all wounds and allow you to reclaim your wholeness and your life.
4. Practice acceptance
   Resentment against our lot in life: sometimes things so awful can happen that life does not seem to have any justice at all. When you think of the loss Susan Saint James suffered, or of those with relatives who drowned in flood waters of the south Asian tsunami or of Hurricane Katrina, how can those left behind with such grief feel life is ever fair?They resent life, even God himself, for meeting out cruel injustice to those who did nothing to deserve it. There is no way to change what happened — no one can — but we can change our response to it. 

   To make sure resentment does not swallow us, I would recommend taking up a spiritual practice like passage meditation. Committing to mind the elevated words of others who suffered, like Dr. Martin Luther King or Mother Theresa of Calcutta, or of people who took refuge in nature like the Chinese recluse Han Shan, give yourself a quiet period to go through them and salve the wounds in your consciousness with them. Then, as Susan Saint James has discovered, you don’t hope the other guy dies; you ask for and totally reclaim your original, vibrant, and positive life.

About the Author
Stephen Ruppenthal is the author of The Path of Direct Awakening: Passages for Meditation. He is also the co-author of Eknath Easwaran’s edition of The Dhammapada and the author of Keats and Zen. He has taught meditation and courses on Han Shan at UC Berkeley and San Francisco State University. He is an international workshop leader in passage meditation and in courses for those looking for end of life spiritual care and for the spiritual step component of twelve step programs. Visit Stephen’s work at www.directawakenings.com.

Diminish the Distractions
The pros will tell you one of the best tips for getting a great professional style shot of your baby is to keep the distractions at a distance – or better yet, completely at bay. Noises such as the TV or radio in addition to pets and other people roaming around will distract your little subject and make it much more difficult to get that perfect shot you’re after. So keep the environment calm, serene and uncluttered and only have the elements you really want included in that space while you’re shooting the photo.

Limit the Lighting
Bright lights will not only result in an unprofessional looking photo, but they can also annoy, distract, and hurt your baby’s eyes. Do your best to limit the use of a flash by taking pictures outside whenever possible and away from direct sunlight. If shooting at home in the evening hours, position any lamps in a flattering manner while ensuring enough, but not too much, light on your little one. Dimmer switches can be your best friend in these circumstances as well.

Distance Yourself
Even though you want to capture every detail of your baby’s precious expression, getting too close can completely ruin your shot – it may very well result in a blurred and/or fuzzy photo that pretty much defeats the purpose of your efforts. Step back and use a zoom lens and if your camera is equipped with a manual focus feature – use it. Don’t be afraid to put some distance between yourself and baby and snap multiple pictures, especially if the result is going to be that fantastic shot.

Mood Means Everything
This element of getting a professional style shot is really more up to your baby than you. You want to be completely aware of your little one’s mood before you start clicking that shutter button. If your baby is cranky or worse yet crying, even though you feel the surroundings or that little outfit they’re wearing today is just perfect, do both yourselves a favor and wait for a better moment. Your baby will be much more cooperative and you’ll be much happier with the results of the photos.

As in any new endeavor, trial and error is part of the learning experience. By following these simple steps, including making a few mistakes, it won’t take you very long to realize what makes for a great professional style shot. And once you accomplish that feat, you’ll be able to easily capture and preserve those precious memories more effortlessly than you ever thought possible.

One important point that you need to remember is that grand parenting starts even before your new grandchild is born. As soon as you find out that you will be a new grandparent, one of the first things that you may want to do is go on a shopping spree. While your purchases will be more than appreciated, you may want to first discuss with your son or daughter what they need. This will help to ensure that your money will be well spent and that your purchases will be put to good use.

When your grandchild is born, you will want to try and visit them in the hospital. While this may be difficult, due to time or distance, it is a step that can do wonders for you and your family. A hospital visit is one of the first steps in developing a long and healthy relationship with your grandchild. It is also an event that you will remember for the rest of your life.

As your grandchild grows, it is important that you maintain a constant presence in their life. When doing so, many first time grandparents want to shower their grandchildren with gifts. Of course, this is more than do able, but you will also want to remember that your time is the greatest gift that you can give your grandchild. Whether you buy them a new book or read them a book that they already own, you will be bonding with your grandchild and participating in activities that can have positive impacts on their future.

It is also important that you know your boundaries. As a parent yourself, you may have a load of advice to give to your son or daughter. While this advice may and will likely be appreciated, it is important to proceed with caution. You will not want to go overboard. In fact, this is where many family problems start. A few helpful tips here and there are encouraged, but you should not intervene in a level more than that of a grandparent, unless of course you suspect neglect.

The above mentioned tips may provide you with guidance and reassurance when becoming a new, first time grandparent. Generally speaking, you will find that using your best judgment is all the guidance you need.