Children resort to aggressive behaviors because of a lack of wisdom and self-control. It is not a sign that a child is hateful or mean. Kids are human beings and human beings will get angry, we can’t prevent that. What we can do is teach our children how to handle their frustration and anger in appropriate ways. If your child uses these physical acts to express her feelings, use some of the following tips to change her behavior.

Intercede before it happens
Watch your child during playtime. When you see her becoming frustrated or angry – intervene. Coach her through the issue. Teach her what to do, or model what to say to her friend. Or if she seems too upset to learn, redirect her attention to another activity until her emotions level out.

Teach and explain
It’s one thing to tell a child what not to do or to step into an argument and solve it yourself. It’s another thing entirely to teach her what to do in advance of the next problem. This can be done through role-play, discussion, and reading a few children’s books about angry emotions.

Examine hidden causes
Is your child hungry, tired, sick, jealous, frustrated, bored or scared? If you can identify any feelings driving your child’s actions you can address those along with the aggressive behavior.

Give more attention to the injured party.
Often the child who hits gets so much attention that the action becomes a way of gaining the spotlight. Instead, give more attention to the child who was hurt. After a brief statement, “No hitting!” turn and give attention to the child who was wronged, “Come here and Mommy will give you a hug and read you a book.”

Teach positive physical touches.
Show your child how to hold hands during a walk or how to give a back rub or foot massage. Teach a few physical games, like tag or cat’s cradle. Under direct supervision, children who are more physical can gain a positive outlet for their physical energy.

Teach the clapping method
Tell a child to clap his hands whenever he feels an urge to hit. This gives him an immediate outlet for his emotions and helps him learn to keep his hands to himself. An alternate is to teach him to put his hands in his pockets when he feels like hitting. Reward with praise anytime you see he’s successful.

Give your child a time out
To use Time Out when a child acts out aggressively, immediately and gently take the child by the shoulders, look him in the eye and say, “No hurting others, time out.” Guide the child to a chair and tell him, “You may get up when you can play without hitting.” By telling him that he can get up when he’s ready, you let him know that he is responsible for controlling his own behavior. If the child gets up and hits again, say, “You are not ready to get up yet,” and direct him back to time out.

Avoid play hitting and wrestling
Young children who roughhouse with a parent or sibling during play time might then use these same actions during non-wrestling times. It can be hard for them to draw the line between the two. If you have a child who has trouble controlling his physical acts then avoid this kind of play.

Don’t lose control
When you see your child hurting another child it’s easy to get angry. This won’t teach your child what she needs to learn: how to control her emotions when others are making her mad. You are mad at her, so she’ll be watching how you handle your anger.

Don’t let your child watch violent TV or video games
Children can become immune to the impact of violence, and they may copy what they see depicted on the screen. Avoid viewing shows that portray aggression as an appropriate way of handling anger.

Don’t assume your child can figure it out
If your child comes to you about a difficult situation, don’t send him away for tattling. But don’t step in and handle it for him, either. View his call for help as an invitation to teach him important social skills.

Don’t focus on punishment
More than anything your child needs instructions on how to treat other human beings, particularly during moments of anger or frustration.
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

1. Start Young
   Adult eating habits oftentimes stem directly from the way that they ate as a youngster. By starting your children on a vegetarian diet early, you can plant the seeds for a healthy adult life.
   The younger the child, the easier the transition to a vegetarian diet will be. Infants and toddlers can thrive on vegetarian foods, and they can learn to love this diet early on in life. Older children can also make the transition to a vegetarian diet, but it will be simpler if you start your children on the diet when they are young.
2. Make Sure the Diet is Balanced
   Children’s nutritional needs are even more urgent than adults, since they are creating bone and burning energy at an even higher rate. With a vegetarian diet, it is particularly important that your children have a balanced diet that is high in calcium, protein, and minerals like B12 that are usually found in meats.
3. Lead by Example
   If you want your children to have a healthy vegetarian diet, you should show them how to do it by sticking to a vegetarian diet yourself. Children will learn faster by watching you than simply listening to your directions. Make sure that you not only stick to a vegetarian diet, but make healthy eating choices within that diet.
4. Explain Why
   Even very young children will want to know why they can’t eat the same foods as their friends and neighbors. Explain your reasons for sticking to a vegetarian diet in an age-appropriate way for your child so they will understand the need for making healthy dietary choices.
5. Provide Plenty of Choices
   Convincing your child to enjoy a vegetarian diet will be much easier if he or she doesn’t feel deprived. Keep a wide variety of vegetarian snacks, meals, and desserts on hand. Even strict vegan diets have room for cakes and cookies that are not made with animal by-products, so be sure to take full advantage of these recipes to keep your child satisfied.

Ultimately, your child is going to be the one to make the final decision about his or her eating habits. As children age, you can no longer watch over everything they choose to eat. However, if you can instill good eating habits when they are little, the chances are much higher that they will continue to make good choices as they age. By showing your child that a vegetarian diet can be delicious, healthy, and environmentally friendly, you can encourage him or her to hold to these ideals as an adult as well.

About this Article
Article provided courtesy of Only Cookware – a resource for cookware sets, stainless cookware and enamel cast iron cookware.

Diapers costing you a fortune? It may be time to tackle one of the most important challenges in your young child’s life… the dreaded potty training experience.

One of the most common questions that I am asked is in regards to subject. Many parents will ask me something like this:

“Do you have any tips on potty training a two year old, that has no desire to try?”

I have been very lucky in my own four children that they potty trained literally on their own, but I have had several daycare kids that were not as interested in this phase of their little lives.

First of all I know that everyone says not to push them, but it is very true. DO NOT try and force the issue. As a parent we must learn to pick our battles with our children and this is one that is not easily won, if they are not ready for it. I started out with “Potty Training” books. There are a lot of different ones out there at your local library, or bookstores (I saw a cute hardcover one at Wal-Mart yesterday called “I Have To Go Potty!” It was under $8.00). There are also many different videos on this topic as well, I know that Dora, and Barney have their own videos on potty training.

Second, talk to your child about the potty in their language. For example: “Mommy and Daddy go pee pee and poopy on the potty, do you think sometime you want to go potty too like Mommy and Daddy?” Make any conversation with them at their level and also answer their questions if they have any.

Third, this is a HUGE deal, so make a big deal out of it. Take your child shopping, have them help in picking out the potty chair or a package of their very own “Big Kid” underwear. Also make sure that you have rewards for them. Whether this be M&M’s, dum dum suckers, skittles, raisins, whatever is a motivator to your child. Purchase those items with your child and make sure to remind them, that the candy is for after they go potty on the potty. (If you do purchase candy, make sure it is something little that you can easily manage, because if you give them a whole bag of M&M’s each time they go potty, you will have one hyper child, just a few m&m’s or skittles at a time and that is why if you purchase suckers go with the smaller ones.) Once your child has the hang of potty training and you are working on night training, again take them to the store and have them pick out something special to them, a stuffed animal, new video, a new book, game, truck, barbie, etc. Tell them that once they are dry all the time and have no more diapers then you and your child will go purchase that special item, “because they are a BIG boy or GIRL.” I can’t stress enough to involve them and make them feel important!!!

If you child is hestitate about even sitting on the potty, do not push them, but make a big deal out of it, when he/she does finally sit on the potty. Encourage him/her to sit on the potty with their diaper on at first if they are too afraid. Gradually work to take the diaper off of them when they are on the potty. Also look for the signs that your child may have that they are about to go potty in their diaper, and then ask them then if they want to go use the potty (remind them of the treat at the end if they do go). Reward them for every little step that they take, so that they feel important. I use to make up a potty dance with my kids. Every time after they went, we would do the potty dance together, and many times even after I went to the bathroom, my kids would do the potty dance for me, because they were then proud of my accomplishment as well. This may sound corny, but it is a great way to motivate your children in not just potty training, but I’ll save that for another article.

You can never encourage your children enough in anything, so start the cheerleading team and “GO POTTY TRAIN!”

Remember, stay positive, go slow and have fun with you child during this trying process! Good Luck.

About The Author
Tammi Kauppinen is a proud stay at home mom with five wonderful children. After graduating from the University of Wisconsin – Whitewater with a degree in Special Education, she decided to find a way to stay home and raise her children. That hasn’t kept her from working with kids! She has run an in-home day care for ten years, worked in variety of school districts with children with special needs, acted as a foster parent to teenage boys and as a respite provider for other foster children. She continues to work with children – including her own – on a daily basis and publishes a weekly email on stay at home mom tips. To sign up for this FREE service go to http://www.stayathomemominc.com.

Question
My baby is only happy when I’m within arm’s reach. If I dare to leave the room, she cries as if I’ve left the country! I can’t even so much as take a shower these days, let alone leave the house without her. My mother-in-law says it’s because I’ve spoiled her. Is she right? Have I made her so clingy?

Nothing you’ve done has “made” your baby develop separation anxiety. It’s a perfectly normal and important developmental adaptation. Nearly all children experience separation anxiety between the ages of seven and 18 months. Some have more intense reactions than others, and for some, the stage lasts longer than others, but almost all babies have it to some degree.

The development of separation anxiety demonstrates that your baby has formed a healthy, loving attachment to you. It is a beautiful sign that your baby associates pleasure, comfort, and security with your presence. It also indicates that your baby is developing intellectually (in other words, she’s smart!) She has learned that she can have an effect on her world when she makes her needs known, and she doesn’t have to passively accept a situation that makes her uncomfortable. She doesn’t know enough about the world yet to understand that when you leave her you’ll always come back. She also realizes that she is safest, happiest, and best cared for by you, so her reluctance to part makes perfect sense ¾ especially when viewed from a survival standpoint. Put another way: You are her source of nourishment, both physical and emotional; therefore, her attachment to you is her means of survival, and when she reaches a certain level of intellectual maturity, she realizes this.

This stage, like so many others in childhood, will pass. In time, your baby will learn that she can separate from you, that you will return, and that everything will be okay between those two points in time. Much of this learning is based on trust, which, just as for every human being young or old, takes time to build.

How do I know if my baby has separation anxiety?
Separation anxiety is pretty easy to spot, and you’re probably reading this section because you’ve identified it in your baby. The following are behaviors typically demonstrated by a baby with normal separation anxiety:

• Clinginess
• Crying when a parent is out of sight
• Strong preference for only one parent
• Fear of strangers (Also see Stranger anxiety, page XX)
• Waking at night crying for a parent
• Easily comforted in a parent’s embrace

How you can help your baby with separation anxiety

• Allow your baby to be a baby. It’s perfectly okay — even wonderful — for your baby to be so attached to you and for her to desire your constant companionship. Congratulations, Mommy or Daddy: It’s evidence that the bond you’ve worked so hard to create is holding. So politely ignore those who tell you otherwise.
• Don’t worry about spoiling her with your love, since quite the opposite will happen. The more that you meet her attachment needs during babyhood, the more confident and secure she will grow up to be.
• Minimize separations when possible. It’s perfectly acceptable for now ¾ better, in fact ¾ to avoid those situations that would have you separate from your baby. All too soon, your baby will move past this phase and on to the next developmental milestone.
• Give your baby lessons in object permanence. As your baby learns that things continue to exist even when she can’t see them, she’ll feel better about letting you out of her sight. Games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek will help her understand this phenomenon.
• Practice with quick, safe separations. Throughout the day, create situations of brief separation. When you go into another room, whistle, sing, or talk to your baby so she knows you’re still there, even though she can’t see you.
• Don’t sneak away when you have to leave her. It may seem easier than dealing with a tearful goodbye, but it will just cause her constant worry that you’re going to disappear without warning at any given moment. The result? Even more clinginess, and diminished trust in your relationship.
• Tell your baby what to expect. If you are going to the store and leaving her at home with Grandma, explain where you are going and tell her when you’ll be back. Eventually, she’ll come to understand your explanations.
• Don’t rush the parting, but don’t prolong it, either. Give your baby ample time to process your leave-taking, but don’t drag it out and make it more painful for both of you.
• Express a positive attitude when leaving her. If you’re off to work, or an evening out, leave with a smile. Your baby will absorb your emotions, so if you’re nervous about leaving her, she’ll be nervous as well. Your confidence will help alleviate her fears.
• Leave your baby with familiar people. If you must leave your baby with a new caregiver, try to arrange a few visits when you’ll all be together before you leave the two of them alone for the first time.
• Invite distractions. If you’re leaving your baby with a caregiver or relative, encourage that person to get your baby involved with playtime as you leave. Say a quick good-bye and let your baby be distracted by an interesting activity.
• Allow your baby the separation that she initiates. If she crawls off to another room, don’t rush after her. Listen and peek, of course, to make sure that she’s safe, but let her know it’s fine for her to go off exploring on her own.
• Encourage her relationship with a special toy, if she seems to have one. These are called transitional objects or lovies. They can be a comfort to her when she’s separated from you. Many babies adopt blankets or soft toys as loveys, holding them to ease any pain of separation. The lovey becomes a friend and represents security in the face of change.

Don’t take it personally. Many babies go through a stage of attaching themselves to one parent or the other. The other parent, as well as grandparents, siblings and friends can find this difficult to accept, but try to reassure them that it’s just a temporary and normal phase of development and with a little time and gentle patience it will pass.Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

Get ready
If your child is near or has passed his first birthday, you can begin incorporating pre-potty training ideas into his life. They are simple things that will lay the groundwork for potty training and will make the process much easier when you’re ready to begin.

• During diaper changes, narrate the process to teach your toddler the words and meanings for bathroom-related functions, such as pee-pee and poo-poo. Include descriptive words that you’ll use during the process, such as wet, dry, wipe, and wash.
• If you’re comfortable with it, bring your child with you when you use the toilet. Explain what you’re doing. Tell him that when he gets bigger, he’ll put his pee-pee and poo-poo in the toilet instead of in his diaper. Let him flush the toilet if he wants to.
• Help your toddler identify what’s happening when she wets or fills her diaper. Tell her, “You’re going poo-poo in your diaper.” Have her watch you dump and flush.
• Start giving your child simple directions and help him to follow them. For example, ask him to get a toy from another room or to put the spoon in the dishwasher.
• Encourage your child to do things on her own: put on her socks, pull up her pants, carry a cup to the sink, or fetch a book.
• Have a daily sit-and-read time together.
• Take the readiness quiz again every month or two to see if you’re ready to move on to active potty learning.

Get set

• Buy a potty chair, a dozen pairs of training pants, four or more elastic-waist pants or shorts, and a supply of pull-up diapers or disposables with a feel-the-wetness sensation liner.
• Put the potty in the bathroom, and tell your child what it’s for.
• Read books about going potty to your child.
• Let your child practice just sitting on the potty without expecting a deposit.

Go

• Begin dressing your child in training pants or pull-up diapers.
• Create a potty routine–have your child sit on the potty when she first wakes up, after meals, before getting in the car, and before bed.
• If your child looks like she needs to go–tell, don’t ask! Say, “Let’s go to the potty.”
• Boys and girls both can learn sitting down. Teach your son to hold his penis down. He can learn to stand when he’s tall enough to reach.
• Your child must relax to go: read a book, tell a story, sing, or talk about the day.
• Make hand washing a fun part of the routine. Keep a step stool by the sink, and have colorful, child-friendly soap available.
• Praise her when she goes!
• Expect accidents, and clean them up calmly.
• Matter-of-factly use diapers or pull-ups for naps and bedtime.
• Either cover the car seat or use pull-ups or diapers for car trips.
• Visit new bathrooms frequently when away from home.
• Be patient! It will take three to twelve months for your child to be an independent toileter.

Stop

• If your child has temper tantrums or sheds tears over potty training, or if you find yourself getting angry, then stop training. Review your training plan and then try again, using a slightly different approach if necessary, in a month or two.

This article is an excerpt from The No-Cry Potty Training Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Child Say Good-Bye to Diapers by Elizabeth Pantley.

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.