Although nothing anybody says can ever completely prepare a woman for the day she delivers her first baby, there are some simple suggestions that should help make this amazing experience a little bit easier.

First of all there are three very honest realities about childbirth that your doctor, mother, grandmother, and maybe even your best friend will probably not tell you.

1. Unless you have an exceptionally carefree attitude about life in general, you will be shocked if and when your water breaks.
2. Unless you have an extraordinary ability to see into the future, you will be scared to death during the first hour or so of labor.
3. Unless you have an extremely high tolerance for pain, you will feel excruciating, seemingly unending waves of pain.

These simple facts come from personal experience and are not intended to instill unnecessary fear. Each woman’s experience is different, so not all details will apply to everyone.

But if you take the time to consider options to prepare yourself for that big day, you may benefit by being as ready as anyone can possibly be for the consequences of childbirth.

Believe this much for sure, you will appreciate almost any helpful hints you can remember when you realize you’re going into labor. Most pregnant people will find the following recommendations valuable for reducing stress for you and your labor partner on the day you deliver your first baby.

1. Pack your bag to take to the hospital at least a month in advance. Nobody can positively predict your exact due date and your baby is actually the person who decides when your delivery will occur.
2. Make a checklist for what you want to take. You should definitely include: a mirror and your makeup bag (believe it or not when you’re not staring at that little miracle in your arms, you will want to look at yourself especially when the parade of visitors start marching into your hospital room); two or three nightgowns (preferably comfortable ones that provide optimal coverage of your post-pregnancy physique); a hair brush and hair dryer (every hospital has showers, soap, and towels); an outfit to wear home from the hospital (and don’t choose cute little pre-pregnancy clothes because nobody loses the weight they gained in nine months immediately after giving birth and it will only annoy you if you can’t fit into the only outfit you have to go home in)
3. Have a list of phone numbers of the people you can call anytime of the day or night for help. (Don’t even try to handle it alone – YOU WILL NEED AND WANT HELP when this exciting, emotional event begins to occur.)

There’s several signs that labor has started. Warning signals vary from woman to woman. Some people know what it is the second it hits them, while others may not recognize what’s happening for hours. Don’t expect the promises or predictions made by medical professionals or even experienced great-grandmothers to actually come true for you. In most cases some combination of destiny and mother nature determine the details of your long-awaited delivery. Some simple indicators that you’re going into labor range from a mild backache to piercing stabs of pain and vary from a feeling of general discomfort to an abrupt release of water.

Follow your instincts
If you don’t feel right, but you’re not screaming in pain, call your doctor. If something suddenly takes your breath away, makes you feel faint, breaks you down to the floor or wakes you in the middle of the night, forget the doctor, stay as calm as possible and call for whomever can come to help you the fastest.If your water does break in the stereotypical way, gushing uncontrollably all over the place, don’t freak out. Maintain your control as much as humanly possible at this point and realize you cannot stop this rushing release running like a river out of your body. You can keep putting towels between your legs to try to soak it up, but your shorts or sweatpants are still going to get wet.

Don’t worry about what other people will think about your dripping drawers when you get to the hospital. You’re about to deliver a baby -you’re not supposed to look calm, classy, elegant or graceful! Just concentrate on getting to the hospital safely. You may feel like you’re in the middle of an earthquake that will surely destroy the entire planet and assume everyone else will realize the urgency of this occasion. But they probably won’t react with any alarm because the reality is your world is the only place that has been hit by this tidal wave of emotional trauma.

What to expect when you get to the hospital…
To wait and wait some more; to fill out forms; to find yourself pacing the halls until they assign you to a room; to see other women in similar situations; to be told your doctor has been delayed; to scream at your labor partner when he forgets what to say and what not to say to try to make you feel better; to forget something on your checklist and to deal with the labor pain getting worse before it gets better.

What not to expect when you arrive at the hospital…
Everyone to accommodate you; everything to occur as you planned; any immediate results; everyone to be organized; your labor partner to be perfect; to find friendly faces among the other pregnant people; to hear your doctor tell you to start pushing your little miracle out as soon as he examines you; to get painkillers prescribed in mere minutes; and to be able to remember all the things you learned to try to prepare for this day.

Other Do’s and Don’t's:
Do try to maintain your focus.

Do try to preserve your precious energy (You will need it especially if you happen to be one of those poor souls whose pregnancy just won’t end and your labor lasts for longer than a day or two)

Don’t hesitate to tell your doctor or nurses exactly how you feel.

Don’t hesitate to ask any question that pops into your head.

Do listen to what your doctor and nurses tell you.

Do listen to what your body is saying.

Do listen to what you’re feeling in your heart.

Do listen to what your labor partner is commanding you to do.

Don’t forget how long you waited for this day to arrive and how special this date will be to you forever.

Don’t forget how much you want this little baby to arrive healthy and what a blessing this tiny person will always be to you.

And finally trust your gut instincts, your doctor’s words of wisdom, your partner’s suggestions to soothe you and your ears when you hear the sound of your baby’s first cry announcing his official arrival into this world.

The rest of this incredible experience will probably proceed with no major problems, following the same intense, phenomenal pattern of the billions of births that occurred before the day of your delivery.

Believe it or not, no matter how much the pains of labor torture your pregnant body or how many hours the process takes before your first baby actually bounces into this world – you will forget about how much your killer contractions hurt and how time seemed to standstill as your labor lasted and lasted and lasted…

Also believe your life will never be the same from this day on. Your new job as a mommy will be the most rewarding, most exhausting, and most challenging career of your life. Nothing in the universe can begin to compete with the passion, love, and wonder you’ll experience as you watch this tiny person grow and you feel like he’s really your own heart and soul with little arms and legs.

Treasure every moment of the miracle of motherhood.

Equipment: camera, meter, flash, tripod

This article is a simplified photography course directed at new photographers out there who want to know where to start.

If you really want to learn photography the first thing you need is a good affordable and reliable camera. It must, and I repeat must, be able to shoot in fully manual and fully auto focus modes. (This leaves out any digital cameras on the market right now, sorry.) To really learn photography you must understand the equipment. You’ll need to learn how manipulating the shutter speed, aperture, and focus will have a dramatic effect on your photos. Meters, if you have a camera that can work in a fully manual mode it should have an internal meter suitable for what you will be doing. Tripod, you’re going to need one whether it’s portrait work or landscapes you’ll need one eventually. Luckily you don’t have to spend a lot here. Just something lightweight and durable. Flash, you can buy a separate camera mounted flash, which is great if you can afford it. Consider what kind of photography that you will be doing though. If you’re going to do mostly nature and landscape, you may only need the fill flash that comes with most cameras today. If you plan on doing portraiture alone you will want to consider a camera mounted flash that has an adjustable angle.

Film, film speed to be exact. Slower speeds (25 to 400) are intended for portraiture and landscape photography. Faster speeds (600 and above) are intended for actions shots and photojournalism. So first you need to know what you going out to photograph and make sure that you have the appropriate film for the job.

Now that you have the camera loaded with film consider shutter speed. Do you want to blur motion, or freeze it? If there is no motion at all what shutter speed do you need to expose the scene with natural light. From 1/60th and down to the bulb setting will blur most motion. For example if you want to blur the water in a waterfall, a setting of 1/30th should work. (You’ll need a tripod though.) 1/125th is a normal setting for most shots. On many cameras the 125th setting is marked in a different color to make it obvious. If you want to freeze action you’ll need to start with 1/500th and work up from there. The faster the motion the faster the shutter speed needed to stop motion. Many cameras go up to 1/2000th of a second. If you’re trying to use natural light alone in a scene you will want to determine the aperture first and then see what shutter speed you need to properly expose the scene for available light. (Keep in mind sometimes there isn’t enough light.)

Aperture, these are the set of numbers on your lens closest to the body of the camera. They can go from 1.8 to 22, and they are referred to as F-stops. These numbers determine how much light reaches the film inside of your camera. Most internal meters will blink on the appropriate aperture for the shutter speed that you’ve set, or the speed you’ve set will blink if your F-stop is correct for the speed. Both the F-stop and shutter speed can be changed to expose the scene correctly. Consider that the faster the shutter speed the more light will be needed to expose the scene correctly. This makes logical sense if you think about it. If the shutter isn’t open as long, fast shutter speed, then there is less light able to make it to the film and so the scene must be brighter to expose correctly. To learn, bracket your shots. Take the first shot at the aperture suggested by your meter, move one stop up, take a photo, one down, take another photo.

Flash, I personally like shooting with natural light whenever possible and at most I use a fill flash. But if you’re going to do portrait work then most of the time you may be indoors and you will need a flash sometimes. For the amateur the fill flash units that are on the top of most of today’s cameras are wonderful for basic work. You will have to read your manual on your particular flash unit to learn what it can and can’t do. This is where the camera that is fully manual and fully auto is great for the amateur. You can usually set it so that the camera will meter and set the flash output accordingly and then you still can control the shutter speed and aperture.

This week’s assignment:
Have several rolls of 400 speed film, find a subject that you can work with preferably something that won’t move, and shoot one roll of film. Shoot some of the roll in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Bracket every shot, take notes on time of day and light conditions, and what your settings (aperture) were for each frame, keep the film speed the same for the entire roll. Have the film developed and examine the photos. You should be able to see a difference in each frame. You’ll need to repeat this procedure until you feel that you understand the relationship between shutter speed and aperture, and every camera and meter has it’s own quirks and differences, you’re camera will act differently than someone else’s. This way you will learn you own particular camera as well. Once you have a sense of how aperture works you won’t need to bracket every shot you take, you may only need to do it in cases where you want to be extra safe on exposing the subject correctly.

If you have some specific questions please visit my Photography Forum.
© 2004 Kelly Paal

About The Author
Kelly Paal is a Freelance Nature and Landscape Photographer, exhibiting nationally and internationally. Recently she started her own business Kelly Paal Photography. She has an educational background in photography, business, and commercial art. She enjoys applying graphic design and photography principles to her web design.

So, do you get the big picture or do you move in for the close up shot and that look of sheer concentration on your baby’s face? The choice and answer are yours. If you feel that you won’t interrupt the moment by doing so, I recommend that you attempt to get both photos.

While I adore close up baby shots that allow you to feel the emotion of the baby pouring through the camera and onto the snapshot, there is something about seeing a child at play that is simply adorable. I often joke that I can see the wheels turning behind the eyes of each of my children and yet they each turn so differently. They have such different interests and are still so very much alike. I like to capture them at play with those things they treasure most at different stages in their lives. By taking bigger pictures, I will always have a reminder of a favorite toy or book, long after that toy, that book, and that particular interest are long gone.

In addition to giving you options for enjoyment when taking multiple shots at various distances, you will also find that it gives you more opportunities in which to get that perfect shot. You will also find that it allows plenty of extras from which relatives can often choose their favorites. Taking multiple shots at various distances over time will also give you a glimpse of which angles feature your baby’s smile the best and which distances are too far to show of her eyes. There are things you can learn about your photographic skills and your baby’s photographic nature by playing around with panoramic photos as well as close up baby pictures.

Another important thing you will want to do as you are learning about distance and taking those photos at different distances is to study the results and see how much you can learn about focusing on your baby rather than the background in your photos. This is an important skill to learn over time and one that will serve you well. While you are playing with distances be sure to play with a few angles too. Remember that it is virtually impossible to have too many baby pictures and you can have so much fun in pursuit of the perfect baby picture. While you want to have some great photos of your baby for years to come you also want to be able to simply enjoy the memory of the time you spent taking pictures of your baby as well. Don’t get so caught up in the process of taking great photographs that you forget to enjoy the time you are spending with your little one.

How to Create Focus when you cannot Change the Focus
The good news or bad news depending on how you view it, is that point and shoot cameras do not have focusing abilities. This means that you can’t really take close up baby pictures without getting very close to your baby. It also means that you don’t have to worry about photos that are horribly out of focus because you hit the wrong button. When getting to know your camera (I recommend doing this before baby debuts) you should take the opportunity to take pictures of one object (such as a stuffed animal) at various differences in order to see how those pictures came out on your camera.

Taking the time to know your camera is an important first step in taking the baby pictures you have dreamed of taking of your baby. You may find that some of your innocent little baby photos are just the stuff the baby photo contests winners are made of. Truthfully, however, there is much that can be said about taking the time to learn your camera before taking photos of your bright bouncing little one. This allows you to know the best angles for certain views, how close or far away you need to be in order to achieve a certain look, and the perfect distance for photographing larger groups as they go gaga over your little one.

While you cannot manually focus your fixed focus camera you can affect the picture you create of your baby by moving changing the distance between you and your baby. The most important thing to remember is that by keeping your focus on your baby and creating a background or setting that doesn’t diminish your baby’s importance or prominence within the photograph you should have a beautifully focused photo of baby to remember for years to come.

I think we all know one family that fits this description. It puts you into a very uncomfortable position. You know you can’t discipline the kids, but you want to be able to enjoy your time with their family. What to do? Here are a few ideas that may help:

Spend more time on your turf
When possible, meet at your home. Let all the kids know exactly what your expectations are. In other words, My house, my rules. Be kind and friendly, but firm, “Hugo, in this house we don’t jump on the sofa.” Often the kids who misbehave at home will behave correctly when given rules to follow at your house.

Stick to the current problem
Don’t try to raise other people’s kids. Focus on the specific issue at hand. Find a solution to the problem only to the extent necessary to make things run smoothly where your children or your property is involved.

Don’t stew and mumble
It’s easy to gripe and complain about a kid’s behavior. It doesn’t solve anything. Instead, avoid accusing or blaming. Simply state the problem and suggest solutions. Once you have a plan, calmly follow through.

Let them handle it
Memorize this line, “They’re not my kids.” Allow the parents to deal with the misbehavior (or not deal with it, as the case may be). Step in only to protect your kids or your property.

Visit without the kids
Do you enjoy the parents, but dread time spent with their kids? Arrange for more visits to occur when the kids are in school or otherwise occupied. Or meet at adult-oriented activities where the kids will need to be left home with a babysitter.

Pick your battles
Ignore the petty stuff, focus on the important things, and be thankful your own children are well behaved

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the Author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.