by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D.

Where does your child fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum? (And where do you?) Answer True or False to the following statements (True if it generally applies, False if it generally doesn’t), then add up your True answers to find out.

My child:
1. Is energized by time alone in her room or favorite place.
2. Concentrates deeply if a book or project interests him.
3. Dislikes being interrupted when speaking or involved in a project; rarely interrupts others.
4. Prefers to observe for a while before joining in games.
5. Becomes irritable in crowded places or if she shares a space with others for long periods of time, particularly if she is tired.
6. Listens attentively with good eye contact, but his glance tends to drift away when speaking.
7. Keeps her face and body still or shows little expression, especially if tired or in a large group of children.
8. Sometimes has delayed, hesitant, or low-key responses.
9. Needs time to think before answering a question and may need to rehearse before speaking out.
10. Listens more than he talks, unless the topic is of personal interest. In this case, he may talk up a storm, especially if he’s in a comfortable setting.
11. Doesn’t boast about her knowledge or achievements; she may understand more than she lets on.
12. Feels overwhelmed, rather than energized, by an activity-filled schedule.
13. Sometimes has word-retrieval problems and often speaks in a quiet voice, marked by pauses.
14. Is highly tuned into her own perceptions, ideas, thoughts, feelings, and reactions.
15. Doesn’t like to be the center of attention.
16. Can seem unpredictable: chatty at home or in other comfortable settings and subdued elsewhere; energized one day, low energy the next.
17. May be regarded by classmates as quiet, calm, withdrawn, reserved, or aloof.
18. Is observant and sometimes picks up on details others — even adults — don’t see.
19. Likes consistency, and does best when given ample transition time.
20. Feels anxious when presented with deadlines for a project or a test.
21. May “zone out” if too much is going on, or when watching TV or a video.
22. Has one or two close friends, but may know lots of kids.
23. Has an affinity for creative expression and quiet, imaginative play.
24. Feels drained after parties or group activities, even when she enjoyed them.

Add up the True answers. If you tally between:

17-24 Trues:
Your child is introverted. It is extremely important to understand how to help keep his energy flowing. He will need to conserve energy and spend it wisely in the outside world, and likely will need your help learning to do this. It’s also important to show that you understand and accept his temperament.

9-16 Trues:
Your child falls in the middle range. Like being able to use her right and left hand, your child is both introverted and extroverted. She may feel torn between needing to be alone and wanting to be out and about. Try to assess when she feels energized by outside activities and when she needs quiet time by herself to recharge, so that you can help her develop a schedule that is best for her.

1-8 Trues:
Your child is extroverted. He is energized by people, activities, and things. Try to keep him busy, but also help teach him to value downtime and reflection.

If you’re still not sure if the child (or any person) you are thinking about is an innie or an outie, ask yourself: Does he need to reduce stimulation by creating time alone (or with a special person) or to reflect in quiet in order to feel refreshed most of the time? If so, he is more introverted. It’s not that innies don’t enjoy being with people; it’s just that they need time alone. Likewise, if a person tends to withdraw under stress, he is probably more introverted. If your child is generally peppy and craves outside activity with or without people most of the time, she is probably more extroverted.

About The Author
Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is the author of target=new rel=nofollow>The Introvert Advantage. A marriage and family therapist based in Portland, Oregon, she is one of America’s foremost authorities on introversion. Please visit her website at www.theintrovertadvantage.com.

by Kimberly Hargis

Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only because this birthday is more for the parents than for the child. At age 1, a child doesn’t understand the concept of “Birthday Party.” He or she is getting a lot of attention—which is all a 1-year-old wants or understands anyway. You should not go overboard on presents because too much could scare or confuse a child. You should consider getting specialty items such as a plate that says “First Birthday,” a 1-year-old candle, and possible a table cover that everyone could sign with fabric paint to have as keepsakes that can someday be shown (or given to) to your grown child.

Age 2: 2-years-olds should have one or two playmates over for a small Birthday Play Day. Again I suggest you keep a birthday plate and other keepsakes for your 2-year-old.

Age 3: 3-year-olds should have three to four playmates over, and at this age you might have try a birthday game such as “Who can stack the blocks the highest?” I do not recommend having a clown or playing any games that require a blindfold over a child’s eyes such key due to the fact either can scare children at this age. Remember your child has just turned 3, and the playmates are around that age. They are still not able to understand fully structured games very well. They only know if they do something good or better than other children, everyone will give them attention. Again I suggest you collect keepsakes.

Age 4: At 4, children should now be ready for a “real” party. I suggest four or five playmates. 4-year-olds are ready now for party decorations, but I suggest you do less and save your money for the big number “5” birthday (or buy decorations that you can put away and use again). Games such as Musical Chairs, and carrying a hard boiled egg on a spoon to the finish line without dropping it relay race can be appropriate, but remember that games will be played and finished much sooner than you think. Consider having a few of your child’s favorite videos on hand. Even if the kids have seen them 100 times, they will enjoy them. After an hour or so, you will probably need a break and the children might be cranky. A movie they are all spellbound by will be a great way to relax the kids and you. You might want to consider spreading a couple of blankets on the floor and have some pillows handy for sleepyheads!

Age 5: 5-year-olds should have a big party, but remind them that this is because they are the big “5,” and either starting school or just in school, and having a “big” party will not happen every year. Explain to them that big parties are only for special birthdays such as 5 because they have started or are starting school, 10 because that is the first double-digit number, and of course 16 (“Sweet 16” for girls and “Driving Age” for boys). This will save you money in the long run. On the fifth birthday, I suggest you first decide if you want to do it yourself, rent a building or park area but still do it yourself, or call local businesses (like McDonalds) to see what party-planning packages they offer. I personally suggest renting a park area if weather permits because the kids will be just as happy playing on park equipment as they would if you spent a ton of money on a professionally planned party. Have several inexpensive disposable cameras on hand and let your Birthday Boy or Girl take pictures of his or her first “big” party!

Great games for 5-year-olds whether inside or outside are:

by Vivian Dee

How do one give the perfect gift? Ahh! Another occasion, another milestone…excitement is building, adrenaline is pumping; and off one goes shopping. But what should you get for a cousin’s birthday, another shirt, another bag or a perfume? Gift giving can be exciting and nerve wrecking as well. But when all is said and done. There’s nothing like the satisfaction of giving the perfect gift.

What can you do to ensure the celebrant and the gift are a perfect fit? Here are some tips on gift-giving. Prepare ahead of time. Mark it in your calendar and be alerted about few weeks before time. This will give you sometime to think your gift through. Know the celebrant, make sure you find out if; she or he has a special hobby or interest. Is he or she engage in a very physical strenuous job? Does she put in long hours at work? If so, would she appreciate a little extra pampering?

Remember all the little occasions worth celebrating and keep them in mind to help you get started. Special days can be a birthday or anniversaries of your milestones you have accumulated through life. Here are some milestones that are often overlooked but should be celebrated, birthdays, because we are too busy to celebrate, weight loss-because you are too scared of putting the weight back and celebrating maybe premature.

Long friendships, when you quit smoking for the first time or the second time or perhaps the third, getting a project done on time, a new home, seeing your one year old walk for the first time, passing an exam, just finished redecorating the house, landscaped the entire yard, change of season, or just because.

Be sure to add new milestones in your calendar as it happens. Celebrating can in fact make us feel better, rejuvenate and strengthen our relationships with friends and families. It gives us a feeling of accomplishments. It validates us as a person. It gives us a sense of purpose. It also increases job satisfaction. And when this cycle goes on, it makes us a happier person and happy people are strongly correlated with good health. So take time to be healthy!

About The Author
Vivian Dee is the owner of PurpleEgg LLC.

You don’t want the same picture that you took last year, and you want it to look different than Uncle Joe’s picture when he is standing right next to you. Here are some ideas to help you take great pictures this holiday that everyone in the family will be able to cherish and remember.

1. Use high resolution.
For photos that you do not want to print, low resolution is great! But if you are taking a picture that you are going to want to print out for your album or scrapbook, or to give as a gift to your mother for her upcoming birthday, you will get a better printed image with a higher resolution. If you need to buy an extra memory card so that you have the storage room, splurge on yourself and buy one.

2: Get close up.
Create impact by getting up close. The picture will look totally different with your subject up close and personal than it will with them just fitting into the background.

3. Don’t use the “Auto” setting.
Take control of your camera and your pictures. Doing it manually you are likely to get different and more interesting shots. For portraits, use low aperture – around 2.8. For landscapes, use high aperture – around 16. Don’t be afraid to experiment.

4. Change your angle.
Don’t just stand in front of your subject. Try kneeling down in front of your subject, laying down and taking the picture from the ground, or standing up high on a chair or on a second floor balcony. Have your family stand on the stairs and take pictures from the side as well as the bottom of the stairs.

5. Don’t center your picture.
There is no rule that your friend or family member have to be in the center of the picture. You can get a great picture by angling it so that your subject is to the left or right side. You can have him sit on top of a sturdy table and take the picture so that the table is included and your subject is just in the top frame of the picture. Play around, experiment and have fun!

Now that you are a parent you might find it harder to shop for friends and relatives throughout the year whether there is a birthday coming up, or the busy holiday season. Maybe after your first baby it was still easy, but now that you are on baby two, three or more you are finding it hard to simply find time for yourself, much less time to shop for others. Unfortunately, just because you don’t have time, it doesn’t mean that the holidays will wait. That brings up the question, how do you spend the least amount of time and get the most quality out of your gift purchases once you have little ones at home you are taking care of?

Pictures Photographs of your child, your children, or your whole family are great gifts for family and friends. Many members of the family, like grandparents, will be happy with ONLY receiving a picture of their grandkids. You can buy inexpensive picture packages at places like Sears and Target, or take your own pictures and go to Clark Photos to print out the quantity and sizes that you want.

Mugs, Calendars and More! Expanding a bit on the “photography” theme you can have items made to give as gifts with your favorite picture on them. Family members will love a calendar that has a new picture of their grandchild, niece or nephew on it every time they turn the page. A mouse pad would be a great gift for the family computer guru or for dad to take to the office with him. These items can all be bought online and shipped to your house, sometimes already gift wrapped making your job that much easier.

Gift Cards Pictures aren’t the only great holiday gift! Who doesn’t like a gift card allowing them to eat out, or go to their favorite store and buy whatever they want. If you have a set amount you are going to spend on each family member, or household, you can go down to the mall, stop in one store and buy gift cards for everyone from that store. Or you can go to a nearby restaurant and buy a gift card from there, treating your family to a night out, and the wives to a night off at the same time.

Lottery Tickets One thing that few people think of, but that is really a good idea and can be a lot of fun is scratch off lottery tickets given as gifts. My uncle used to buy everyone 5-10 scratch off lottery tickets for Christmas. If you won on your ticket you could either give it back to him and he would give you another one, or you could keep it and cash it in. As kids it was fun to scratch these off, even if you seldom won. However, occasionally someone would win $1 on a ticket, “sell” it back to my uncle for another ticket, where they would scratch and win as much as $100. Even though we knew what we were getting for Christmas from him, the element of surprise and excitement was always there.

Home Baked Goods Who doesn’t like homemade cookies and pies? Homemade fudge, with and without nuts is always a big hit as well! For those that are low on money, or don’t have the time to run around outside of the house picking up presents, a good shopping list, successful grocery store run, and good time management skills can come in handy when it comes time to give someone a gift. Homemade goodies can be made throughout the day at your leisure, during nap times and after your baby goes to bed at night. Many items, like cookies, can be made weeks in advance and frozen till the big day, giving you a lot of time to get ready for the holidays.

Just because you have a new baby doesn’t mean that you have to forget about the holidays or not give gifts because of lack of time. With all the internet, pictures, gift cards and one stop shops that are available to consumers today, you can still have a great and successful holiday season and impress your loved ones with your gift ideas. Most families are more concerned with the quality and meaning behind a gift than they are the cost of a gift, making even the inexpensive choices some of the best ideas and most loved gifts of the year.

by Elizabeth Pantley, author of Kid Cooperation and Perfect ParentingDo you have a friend, relative or neighbor with kids who drive you crazy with their misbehavior?

I think we all know one family that fits this description. It puts you into a very uncomfortable position. You know you can’t discipline the kids, but you want to be able to enjoy your time with their family. What to do? Here are a few ideas that may help:

Spend more time on your turf
When possible, meet at your home. Let all the kids know exactly what your expectations are. In other words, My house, my rules. Be kind and friendly, but firm, “Hugo, in this house we don’t jump on the sofa.” Often the kids who misbehave at home will behave correctly when given rules to follow at your house.

Stick to the current problem
Don’t try to raise other people’s kids. Focus on the specific issue at hand. Find a solution to the problem only to the extent necessary to make things run smoothly where your children or your property is involved.

Don’t stew and mumble
It’s easy to gripe and complain about a kid’s behavior. It doesn’t solve anything. Instead, avoid accusing or blaming. Simply state the problem and suggest solutions. Once you have a plan, calmly follow through.

Let them handle it
Memorize this line, “They’re not my kids.” Allow the parents to deal with the misbehavior (or not deal with it, as the case may be). Step in only to protect your kids or your property.

Visit without the kids
Do you enjoy the parents, but dread time spent with their kids? Arrange for more visits to occur when the kids are in school or otherwise occupied. Or meet at adult-oriented activities where the kids will need to be left home with a babysitter.

Pick your battles
Ignore the petty stuff, focus on the important things, and be thankful your own children are well behaved

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the Author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

by Jennifer Cram

You’ve engaged a celebrant and you’ve picked the day. So how do you ensure that the naming ceremony for your baby goes smoothly and is memorable for friends and relatives alike? Focus on two things – preparation for the ceremony, and how things are organized on the day.

Preparation
Choose your child’s godparents with care, talk to them about the promises they feel able to make, and ask them if they would feel comfortable about sharing with everyone at the ceremony some of their thoughts about your child and your family

• Consider other members of the family and significant friends, whether present or not, and how you might recognize, include or honor them in the ceremony
• Choose the venue with care, paying attention to shade, and sufficient space
• On the invitations include the time guests should arrive and the time the ceremony will start. If you know any of your guests are chronic latecomers, invite them for at least 15 minutes before you expect them to arrive
• If using candles in an outdoor ceremony ensure that the wicks are well protected from wind, breeze or drafts – candles that sit well down in a glass container are ideal. Because the flame on votive candles extends above the container they are not suitable

On the Ceremony Day

• Ensure the table for the signing is big enough to comfortably hold the register, certificates and anything else that will be used during the ceremony (candles, etc).
• Delegate someone to photograph the ceremony and alert the celebrant as to whom that person is
• Take the opportunity to have posed family photographs, and photographs of significant friends taken with the child either before or after the ceremony. Draw up a list beforehand and use it as a checklist so that no-one is missed
• Provide seats for older or disabled guests
• Make sure that any seating or shelter provided is close enough to where you and the celebrant will be standing to form an intimate grouping and ensure that everyone hears and sees the ceremony
• Limit the amount of alcohol served before the ceremony

Attention to all these quite simple things will make the world of difference to how smoothly your celebration runs, and how much everyone, including you, enjoys the ceremony.

Copyright © 2005 Jennifer Cram.

About the Author
Jennifer Cram is an accredited General Civil Celebrant based in Brisbane Queensland Australia where she specializes in performing one of a kind Naming Ceremonies as Beautiful as your Baby and other ceremonies. For more information about her naming ceremonies visit her website www.jennifercram.com and/or her Baby Naming Blog.

Article Source: EzineArticles.com

by Helen Rankin

Baby naming ceremonies, in one form or another, have a history practically as old as man. What is new are the original ideas new parents keep coming up with for the traditional baby naming ceremony.

Naming ceremonies are fulfilling and meaningful experiences to name and welcome a new baby. Some religious baby naming ceremonies offer a bit of flexibility. But many parents are designing their own naming ceremonies to suit their own personal tastes.

Whichever route you choose, you’re guaranteed to have an unforgettable and creative baby naming ceremony when you include an Instant Photo Guest Book in the festivities. This distinctive combination photo album and guest book will capture your special event the instant it happens, to enjoy immediately – and for years to come.

Here are 5 tips to help make your naming ceremony as unique as your precious new baby:

1. Naming Ceremonies Cross All Religious & National Boundaries

A baby naming ceremony is a great alternative to the traditional Christening. There are lots of options to personalize your naming ceremony. You can have it as formal or informal, religious, traditional or untraditional as you choose. Naming ceremonies range from traditional religious baby naming ceremonies (like the Jewish baby naming ceremony) to having the naming ceremony conducted in the local registry office by a registrar to having a simple ceremony at home conducted by a family friend.

Hint: If the naming is taking place weeks or months after the baby is born, try to schedule it for a time of day when you know the baby will be at its most sociable and alert state. The last thing you want is a cranky guest of honor!

2. Baby Naming Ceremony – A Celebration for All Family & Friends

Your baby’s godparents (also referred as mentors or even “odd-parents”) deserve a special place of honor at the baby naming ceremony, but keep in mind that all family relationships and friendships are deepened with the naming ceremony celebration. Your wider circle of family and friends usually enjoys these unique ceremonies because baby naming ceremonies stem from the concept that each adult present at the ceremony is in part responsible for the care of the child.

Hint: To include all the guests as special participants at your baby naming ceremony, go around the room and take Polaroid photos of your guests. Then have them write a personal wish for the baby’s future on a page of your Instant Photo Guest Book.

3. Jewish Baby Naming Ceremonies

In Judaism, a newborn boy’s naming is a religious ceremony called a brit mila meaning ritual circumcision. This takes place the eighth day after the baby’s birth. Designing a Jewish baby naming ceremony for a girl, a simchat bat (birth celebration for a girl) is more flexible as there’s no “official” ceremony to perform. It’s traditional for Jewish babies (boys and girls alike) to be named for a deceased family member. This keeps lost loved ones “present” for the next generation.

Hint: Many Jewish families use only the first letter of the name they’re memorializing, such as Hannah for Grandpa Herb or Stephen for Aunt Sarah. When guests make entries in your Instant Photo Guest Book, ask them to include a meaningful word starting with the first letter of the baby’s new name.

4. Naming Significance – Announce & Explain the Names That Have Been Chosen

Choosing the name of the new baby is not a simple task. In some cultures the name of the parent or a respected friend or relative is given to the child. Other cultures and Jewish baby naming ceremonies give the name of a deceased relative to honor the memory of the ancestors. In other cultures, the religious elders are consulted to provide a name that will bring good fortune to the child. No matter what method is used, the choice of the given name is important. The naming ceremony serves to identify this new baby as someone who exists as a unique individual – with a name that has meaning. Often, the meaning of the name is explained as part of the ceremony.

For example, Emily, which means eager or industrious, has held its own as one of the most popular girls names since 1880. Michael is another classic, derived from Hebrew and meaning “a gift from God”. What could be better?

Hint: Prior to the baby naming ceremony, pick a close friend or family member. Allowing plenty of time, ask them to prepare the naming presentation and be sure to add this entry to your Photo Guest Book album as a keepsake for memories long after the naming ceremony is over!

5. Baby Naming Ceremony – Accepting the Invitation

Understanding the significance of being an attendee to a baby naming ceremony, next time you are asked to attend a naming ceremony, you will respond with the knowledge that you are following a tradition that goes back to the dawn of mankind. You are the recipient of a special honor and carry a special responsibility to share in the nurturing of a new life!

Hint: If you are attending a family or special friend’s baby naming ceremony, volunteer to be the one who creates the Instant Photo Guest Book Album. Be in charge of taking the Polaroid pictures and getting all the guests to write their personal sentiments and then present it as a special gift to the parents the instant the celebration is over!

About the Author
Helen Rankin, Founder of Instant Forever – http://www.instantforever.com helps you capture your baby memories forever. Instant Forever’s Adesso Album is the only guest book alternative for UK and European families to capture their baby naming ceremony in an Instant in both pictures and words. Capture your naming ceremony instantly and preserve it forever with a Baby Naming Ceremony Photo Guest Book Album.

Whether you are a new parent, or you have just moved to a new area, finding a babysitter that you can rely on and trust can be a daunting task. In some cases you are lucky and can ask a friend, but in others you are all on your own. So how do you go about finding a babysitter you not only can trust, but that your new baby will love.

Many parents will not leave their young baby with anyone but family. Some parents are just not comfortable giving a teenager with little or no experience, who probably has her mind some place other than on your baby, a responsibility that great. Others choose to wait until their baby is on a good schedule, going to sleep at approximately the same time every night and either sleeping all night, or only waking up once, in the early morning hours. This assures then that the baby should sleep the whole time they are gone and that they will be home before the baby needs them.

When you do want to find a babysitter however, where do you look? How do you know that the babysitter you choose will be good for your baby?

Family/Friends
Start with family members and friends. Chances are, at least on the rare occasion, you can find a family member or a friend that will watch your baby for you while you go out for a little while. Whether it is to a doctor’s appointment or a nice, romantic dinner with you significant other, Family and friends, even if it is a teenage cousin or younger sibling you can normally trust will have your baby’s best interest at heart.

Ask For Recommendations
If you have moved to a new area, or have friends with kids, ask them or your neighbors if they have a sitter they would recommend and that they use on a regular basis. Having a referral from someone you trust, can go a long way in helping you build trust with a baby sitter.

Nannies
Look into finding a part time nanny, someone who is registered with a company that does full background checks, and who can come to your house with prior notice for a period of time. These are normally older than you neighborhood babysitter, and should be more responsible and reliable.

Ask For Referrals
If you find a neighborhood teenager, or even if you find a nanny, ask them for referrals – numbers to other families they have sat for. Ask the families if they have liked the babysitter, if they babysitter was reliable and how their kids liked the sitter. Often hearing other people’s opinions can help you feel more comfortable.

Meet the Sitter
Whether it is just your baby, or you have other children as well, have the sitter come over for a little while prior to the day you want her to baby sit for you. Let your kids meet her, and let the baby get to know her a little. No matter what the age, children will normally respond better to someone they have encountered before, with their parents, versus someone who comes in that they don’t know.

Don’t Leave For Long
The first couple of times you leave your sitter with your baby, don’t stay away very long. Come home after just an hour or two so that your baby can get used to you being gone and feel comfortable knowing you are coming back. Also feel free to drop in for a couple of minutes unannounced, or to come home earlier than planned as a way to check up on the sitter.

Security
If you are not completely comfortable leaving your baby with the sitter you have picked, then the best thing to do is NOT leave. If you are comfortable it is always perfectly ok to leave behind some hidden or not so hidden security methods. Some people choose hidden tape recorders to record the audible interaction between your sitter and your baby. Other’s have chosen to actually install video equipment so they can not only get the audible, but the visual interaction as well.

There are a lot of ways to go about finding a great babysitter for your baby and other children. In the end, if you make sure you feel 100% comfortable with the decision you make, you should have a great experience.

By James Brann, MD

The old saying “babies aren’t born with instruction manuals” has opened the door for unwanted advice from family and friends, alike. If you’re a mother, specifically a “new” mother, at first you may appreciate the guidance of those that went before you. But eventually even the most patient of women will break. You will most likely become a hermit, hiding the car in the garage, locking the doors, turning the ringer off and avoiding anyone that perceives themselves as an “expert” on the subject of motherhood and newborns. So before you become a recluse and start avoiding all human contact; here’s some more advice on “unwanted” advice.

Often times, a new mother’s insecurities get the best of her, and in all honesty, this happens to all mothers; not just the “new” ones. As mothers, we’re always questioning our abilities to raise our children. You want the best for them and fear you’ll make bad choices, its human nature. Therefore, when someone offers advice or guidance, we often take their words as criticism. But in all reality, most family and friends mean to help, not judge. Open your mind to their words; ignore the little voice inside your head that says they’re judging you. In most instances, these same people have been giving you “unwanted” advice for years and you’ve never paid any attention to it. The insecurities of having a newborn often times warrants defensive behaviors when faced with unwanted advice. However, motherhood is a learning experience; it starts at the birth and never ends. Listening to family and friends that have walked in your shoes before can, however, be a soothing and rewarding experience.

Everyone will have opinions on certain circumstances and if you listen closely, even theirs will differ from one another. Pretty soon, you find yourself throwing your hands up and surrendering like General Lee. However, often times by educating yourself on what the actual “experts” say can eliminate the frustration and the insecurities that a new mom will face. Educating yourself on the best choices that you can make for your newborn can build self-confidence, self-respect, and sanity.

It is very important for mother’s to have a good relationship with their infant’s pediatrician, as well. Often times, the trust you put into your child’s doctor will help fight off those insecurities that you may have. A pediatrician sees most infants several times during the first few months of their lives. These are great opportunities for mother’s to ask questions. Keep a notebook handy, write down concerns that you have, or questions.

Lighthearted advice is just that, when given it’s meant to be taken as helpful hints and suggestions. However, in some instances, you will have family and friends insisting on “their way” of doing things. When this circumstance occurs, be prepared. Thank the person and tell them you will consider their advice, quote what you have read from child-rearing books, explain to them that you and your child’s pediatrician has discussed the matter and you’re following doctors orders. If all else fails, change the subject or leave the room.

In many circumstances, especially those that are short-term, you may consider following the person’s advice while they are present. In all reality, they will leave and when they do, so can their advice. Short-term circumstances that have no long-term effects are just that. They won’t warp or change the big picture. If your mother-in-law comes to your house to “help”, and suggests adding more blankets to the crib or turning the heat up because the baby looks cold, just go with it. When she does leave, you can quickly undo the heartfelt actions.

Often times, you may find yourself in a circumstance where all other methods of deterring an opinion or advice have failed. You have tried avoiding the subject, quoting a doctor or expert, and even ignoring the advice. But yet still, the person insists on you listening to them. It is at this time that you have to result to what I call, “the truth”. In the kindest fashion possible, you explain to them your honest feelings on the subject, you express gratitude that they care, but in all honesty, the child is yours and you know what’s best. If you’re uncomfortable saying this to someone; ask a friend, your husband, or another family member to talk to the person and explain to them your true feelings on the situation.

It’s important to surround yourself with positive people. If possible, find other mother’s that share your views and values. Then, as mother’s you can swap stories, not advice.

About The Author
Dr. James Brann is a board certified Obstetrician and Gynecologist and a Fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. He is also the Editor of Women’s Healthcare Topics an information source for all women.