by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

When we think of giving gifts, we usually think of things to buy for people. Yet if you think back on gifts you’ve been given, it might not be the material gifts you received that are foremost in your mind – it might be the kind of gifts that deeply touched your heart and soul. It might be various ways, other than material things, that people expressed their love to you.

There are five gifts of love that we can give to our families that can make a huge difference in their lives.

The Gift of Caring and Compassion
We all yearn to feel cared for, yet many of us withhold caring and compassion for others. A profound gift we can give to our loved ones is to listen with our heart, to understand and accept rather than to judge, and to stay open to learning rather than to protect against being hurt.

Think about the last time someone actually listened to you and gave you understanding and acceptance. The feeling of being understood and accepted with caring and compassion is one of the best feelings in the world. Instead of focusing on getting this from others, why not focus on giving it to others? You might be surprised at how wonderful you feel in giving this gift to your family.

The Gift of Courage
One of the best gifts we can give our loved ones is our own courage. This means being having the courage to stand in our truth, to be honest about what we want and don’t want, what we will do and won’t do, what is and what is not acceptable to us. It means having the courage to take good care of ourselves, even if others don’t like it. It means not succumbing to our controlling behaviors that come from fear: anger, withdrawal, compliance, resistance, but instead being honest and above-board about ourselves. It means being willing to face conflict rather than give ourselves up to avoid it.

When we have the courage to face conflict and tell the truth, we not only provide our family with a role model for courage, but we provide opportunities for our loved ones to step up to the plate in the face of our truth and learn to be courageous too.

The Gift of Service
We are on this planet to learn to love ourselves and each other, and to help each other. One of the best gifts we can give our family is to role model this by doing service. Helping others fills the heart and soul in ways that nothing else can. If children do not see their parents doing service and helping others, they may never learn the great joy and fulfillment that comes from giving. One of the best gifts we can give to our family is to provide ways of doing service.

The Gift of Creativity
All of us are born with various ways of expressing our creativity. Expressing creativity is a profound way of connecting with Spirit, since expressed creativity is a direct expression of Spirit. Providing your family with many ways of expressing their creativity is a great gift. Creativity can be expressed in so many ways – cooking, crafts, building things, music, art, movement, telling stories, writing, humor, photography and video – the possibilities are endless! Creative family projects are especially wonderful in creating family closeness.

The Gift of Lightness of Being
Lightness of being – fun, joy, laughter, playfulness – is a great gift to give to others. Lightness of being is infectious – our laughter and playfulness can help others take life less seriously and “lighten up.”

Lightness of being is one the results of all the other gifts – of caring, courage, service and creativity. When we give these gifts, we feel a wonderful lightness within, the lightness that is the result of fully giving from the heart. Our own lightness of being can bring lightness into our whole family. Children love it when their parents are playful, funloving and joyful. Laughing together as a family is one of the most precious experiences in life.

We need to focus of giving these gifts each day, not just during a holiday season or special occasions. These gifts are far more important than any material thing we can buy for someone. In fact, we might not be so focused on material gifts if we frequently give the gift of love – of caring, compassion, courage, service, creativity, and lightness of being.

About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? She is the co-creator of a powerful healing process called Inner Bonding. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

By Don Schmitz

1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.
All children need and must learn to respect boundaries. Being clear about expectations before an activity begins frees you and the child to enjoy the event and ensures the safety of everyone involved. If you observe the boundaries are being violated, don’t be afraid to remind your grandchildren again. Restate the rules as many times as necessary. Writing the rules and posting them or bringing them along is a good idea. If a rule is violated during the activity, ask the child to repeat or read the rules again.

2. Gift giving is not a requirement of grandparenting.
Establish a practice with your first grandchild and stick with it; what you do for one doesn’t necessarily have to be done for all. Financial and family situations change as our children grow. If a family experiences loss of a job or divorce, don’t be afraid to make temporary changes. Gifts are gifts especially when they are unexpected. Surprise gifts are the best. Gifts don’t have to cost a lot. Research supports the fact that “time together” is the best gift we can give. Travel provides time for the grandparent and grandchildren to discover and appreciate each other’s gifts.

3. All rules must be consistent with parents’ wishes.
Anything you do with and for your grandchild needs to be discussed first with the parents. After all, parents make the rules and effective grandparents support them.

Don’t keep secrets from the parents and don’t ask the grandchildren to keep secrets from their parents. Many grandparents believe that some information should not be shared with the parents, but this only undermines the relationships.

4. There is no substitute for planning.
Proper planning ensures that the activity will be discussed with the parents. No matter what the age or sex of your grandchild, planning makes any activity more successful. This is not to say you can’t be spontaneous, but it’s often better and safer to have a plan.

Discuss with the child what he or she would like to do. Give careful thought to the age appropriateness of the activities before you begin. Giving children choices increases their self-confidence and is great training for the future.

5. Grandchildren and grandparents want to have fun!
There is no substitute for good old-fashioned belly laughs. It’s good for you, your grandchild and your relationship. During the activity itself, share with your grandchildren how excited you are about being with them.

Children enjoy getting away from their parents for short periods of time and grandparents enjoy being part of a very important relationship. Parents enjoy their break too.

About the Author
Don Schmitz is a well-known writer and speaker on parenting and grandparenting. He is the author of “The New face of Grandprenting…Why Parents Need Their Own Parents” and founder of Grandkidsandme, which includes: Grandparent Camps and Grandkid Days. Don holds graduate degrees in Education, Administration, Human Development and is father to three sons and grandfather to four granddaughters. Contact Don Schmitz at Don@grandkidsandme.com.

Birthdays come around once a year and that’s why they are so special to us!   When our children have a birthday we throw elaborate birthday parties, inviting our loved ones to share in our happiness about the age change.  There’s good food, fun decorations, and plenty of opportunities to capture wonderful moments with your camera;  this is the joy of a birthday celebration.

The Guests

Make sure to get pictures of the birthday boy or girl with all the guests.  It will be nice to look back on to remember who was there to celebrate the special day.   A great idea–made popular at wedding receptions–is to buy disposable cameras and place them around the house, so that your guests can become the photographer.   This will provide you with various angles, perspectives and individualistic takes on the day.

The Cake

Don’t forget to get a picture of the cake before the candles are blown out.  Now-a-days cakes are such wonderful pieces of art that not getting a picture of before it is served would be sad.   Maybe you can assign someone to take some pictures of the cake as the traditional Happy Birthday song is sung.  That way you can enjoy the moment, yet it will still be captured on your memory card or film. This also makes for an excellent cover for next years birthday invitation cards!

The Presents

You are sure to get some great, fun-filled shots during the present opening.  It’s especially fun to watch a toddler do everything in his power to get the prize behind the paper.  Snap a lot, in sports mode, to ensure that you get clear shots of the ripping and tearing.    This would also be a good way to document who gave what present for writing out those photo thank you cards.  Or you might even include a print of the birthday girl opening a particular guest’s present.   What a great thank you and sentiment.

The Fun

Whether the fun involves karaoke, dancing, games, or some other kind of activity, it will be totally awesome to capture these moments with your camera.    Don’t forget to get all the interactions of your guests, too, by capturing the laughter, the hugs and kisses, and the playful times.

The Birthday Boy or Girl

More important than all the stuff that makes a birthday party special and beautiful is the birthday boy or girl.  Be sure to get them before the festivities begin,  in their special party outfit, during the party enjoying all the goings on, and at the end when he or she is asleep on the floor or in bed–after the sugar high is crashed!

by Kathy Burns-Millyard

Its baby’s first Christmas! How exciting! It’s a perfect time to start a tradition, like buying the little bundle of joy a special ornament for this holiday and every holiday to come, or you can just plain spoil them with lots of toys and fun-filled activities. Here are a handful of suggestions that will have them cooing with glee:

Piggy Bank: A piggy bank is a collectible gift that will be treasured for a lifetime. It’s also a great way to start teaching a young child the fundamentals of money management. What better way to get good habits started early? Personalize it with the baby’s name for an extra special touch.

Classic Baby Toys: Encourage imagination and learning with a time-honored and tested baby toy. Some of the better choices include a Fisher Price Animal Sounds Farm, wooden ABC blocks, jack-in-the-box, shape sorter or an activity gym. Go to a toy store to find the largest assortment of classic baby toys.

Collectible Teddy Bear: Here’s another option for launching a family tradition. Every year, buy the baby a collectible bear from a specialty teddy bear store. These are high quality crafted items that will be cherished for generations. They can also be found at your nearest gift store, or your favorite online shopping spot.

Baby Einstein Gifts: The entire Baby Einstein collection is loved by parents and babies, too. The theory behind Baby Einstein is to teach a baby basic ideas and concepts. Select from their award-winning videos, DVDs, books and music. Baby Einstein products can be ordered online or picked up at your favorite toy or department store.

Music Cube: It’s been proven that music stimulates the brain and encourages early learning skills. With the push of a button, a baby can compose and arrange musical scores and develop their creative mind. Your local toy store should carry several different types of music cubes, and of course many options can be found online as well.

LeapFrog LeapStart Learning Table: This award-winning educational toy will introduce a child to letters, numbers, shapes and colors through a fully interactive musical experience. It’s a learning adventure that is sure to delight any baby! They’re available at toy stores and mass-merchandisers nationwide.

There isn’t a magical tool for finding the perfect gift for a child. But if it is a gift from the heart it will surely bring magic.

About the Author
© 2005, Kathy Burns-Millyard. All Rights Reserved. This article is brought to you courtesy of The Home Gift Shopper – http://www.homegiftshopper.com – A wonderful online source for gifts and gift ideas.

It is the holidays and it is time to start thinking about WHAT you should get your baby or toddler as gifts. Depending on the age you may ask IF you really need to have gifts for your baby under the tree or not. Many people would say no, but if you really want something under the tree that you can help your baby unwrap, there are some great ideas!

For babies under a year, it is probable that they won’t understand the whole “gift giving” idea or even be able to figure out how to unwrap a present on their own. They won’t care if there is a rattle, a gym, or a new outfit under the tree. If this is your baby then buy things that YOU need and that will help your baby developmentally, or clothing for the upcoming season. Wrap up these items so that they are under the tree so that your baby has gifts on Christmas morning, but that they are things he really needs. After all, he won’t know the difference. For the toys and other educational items you do buy your baby you need to be sure that you look at the age guidelines and recommendations so that you know you are choosing the right toy for your child.

For the young kids, they will be more prone to looking at the ornaments and lights on the tree, or decorations up around your house. Walk him around letting him see the lights, touch the non-fragile decorations, and enjoy the material part of the holidays. It is never too early to start holiday traditions with your baby.

If your baby is between a year and two years old, it is possible that he can unwrap his presents, but depending on his age he may still not “get it” when it comes to the holidays and presents. At this point he is still young enough that you can take him shopping with you and let him help you pick out his gifts by him showing you items he would like someday. Chances are he will forget that you bought them by the time he unwraps them.

Good gift ideas for your toddler can include a wide range of items

• Board books
• Puzzles (the ones with big, thick pieces)
• Coloring books/crayons (if he is no longer sticking them in his mouth)
• Desk/Table of his own (for him to sit at to color, do puzzles or read)
• Little fold out couch of his favorite theme (these range from Superman to Dora and everything in between)
• Leap Pad items for brain development
• Dress up clothes for creative development

These are just a few ideas of items you can buy your toddler that will help him grow and learn, while keeping him entertained. There is always the option of buying every new toy on the market during the holidays for your baby, and if you can and you choose too that is ok too! Remember that as hectic as the holidays are for you, they will be overwhelming for your young child so be sure to give them a lot of time and space to rest and regroup so that you don’t have an unhappy toddler on your hands after presents are unwrapped and it is time to sit down for Christmas dinner.

Becoming a grandparent is an exciting time in your life. Depending on your family and its size, grand parenting is an experience that you are likely to enjoy more than once. Although each grandchild of yours will be loved, it is easy to unintentionally show favoritism, especially when multiple grandchildren are involved.

Although unintentionally showing favoritism may do no harm, it is important that you proceed with caution. If you are not careful, your grandchild or your own child can suffer the consequences, which may include feeling left out or they may feel a lack of importance. With that in mind, there are a number of steps that you can take to prevent favoritism from becoming a problem.

One of the first steps that you will want to take, to avoid favoritism with grandchildren, involves equal time. As a grandparent, it is important that you spend equal time with your grandchildren. Although this may be difficult with busy schedules and possibly even distance, it is important that you take steps to give each grandchild the same or similar amounts of time. Even if it is something as simple as stopping by for a half an hour visit, your time is of great importance to your grandchildren.

Another common mistake that grandparents make involves purchasing gifts for one grandchild and not the other. You are advised to proceed with caution in terms of gifts. This is particularly important with grandchildren who live in the same home. Although birthdays are exceptions to this important rule, you will want to use your best judgment. For instance, if your see an outfit that your granddaughter would love, be sure to pick up another gift, even just a small one, for your grandson. This is the best way to go about avoiding favoritism.

Although newborns and infants may be unable to detect a small amount of favoritism, toddlers and their parents have keen eyes. Unfortunately, most grandparents do not even realize that they are exuding even a small amount of favoritism. That is why you are urged to step back and take a close look at each situation that involves multiple grandchildren. Using your best judgment is one of the best ways to avoid favoritism.

The above mentioned tips are tips that grandparents should always take into consideration. As a reminder, it is important to remember that you do not have to shower your grandchildren with gifts to show your affection. Often times, your love and support will be enough. However, when gifts are involved, it is important that you use your best judgment.

Have you recently learned that you are going to be a new grandparent? If you have, you may be experiencing the normal excitement and happiness, even if you live a thousand miles away. Unfortunately, long distance grand parenting can be stressful and frustrating, from all sides, but there are a number of steps that you can take to make it appear as if you live right next door.

One of the first things that you will want to do, when a long distance grandparent, is start planning your trips to see your grandchild. This is particularly important if you are on a budget or if you must make expensive travel arrangements. Unfortunately, the high costs of travel often keep long distance grandparents home, but you shouldn’t let it. Preplanning can allow you to develop a money saving budget. All money saved can go towards the cost of travel. No matter what sacrifices you need to make, if any, they will be well worth it when you see your new grandchild.

Another step that you will want to take is speaking with your child to see what they need for their impending arrival. Being a long distance grandparent, you may be unable to attend baby showers or see first hand which new baby gifts were given. Before purchasing any supplies, toys, or clothes for your new grandchild, you will want to speak with the parents first. This will prevent unnecessary purchases and it will also enable you to purchase items that will be put to good use.

As previously stated, long distance grandparents may be unable to attend pre-baby celebrations, such as baby showers. If that is the case, you may want to take steps to create your own celebrations. If you have other friends or family members where you reside, you may want to collect baby gifts to send back home. If you will be arriving to see your new grandchild shortly after their birth, you may want to plan your own baby shower. This is actually a common occurrence with long distance relatives.

Another one of the many steps that you will want to take, as a long distance grandparent, involves keeping constant contact with your child. This will provide you with a direct link to your new grandchild. Be sure to state your wishes of being an active, long distance grandparent. You may want to take steps to set up an email account. This email account will allow you to regularly stay updated with the progress of your grandchild, through pictures. Also, something as simple as speaking to your new grandchild on the phone will help them identify you by sounds.

The above mentioned points are just a few of the many that you, as a long distance grandparent, will want to take into consideration. As your grandchild grows, you may want to take steps to send gifts out their way for each occasion, including holidays. For instance, a small Easter basket for Easter or a small bag of treats for Halloween, may make it appear as if you are right there enjoying each and every important minute with your family.

Are you a new grandparent? If you are, you may be interested in showering your new grandchild with clothes, toys, books, and other gifts. Of course, this is a natural feeling. It is how many grandparents react to news of a new grandchild. However, many grandparents wonder if they are crossing the spoiled line. Are you concerned about spoiling your grandchild or is your son or daughter?

When it comes to spoiling your grandchildren, it is important to remember that the term spoiled can include a number actions. For instance, there are grandparents who are known for spoiling their grandchildren with love and affection and others who do so with gifts. In a way, grandparents are expected to spoil their grandkids, but you will want to do so at a level that is deemed appropriate.

As for your love and affection, it is advised that you show it. Of course, you will want to prevent yourself from becoming known as the overbearing grandparent, but, other than that, you should have no concerns. In all honesty, there is no such thing as over spoiling grandchildren with love, affection, and support. In fact, as a grandparent, it is your job to ensure that your grandkids know that they are cared for and well loved. You can express this by lots of hugs, kisses, and your time in general.

As for gifts, it is important that you speak with your son or daughter. While many grandparents are concerned with spoiling their grandchildren with gifts, there are some parents who can actually use the assistance, due to financial difficulties. With that in mind, it is advised that you purchase gifts that your grandchild will be able to use. These gifts should include necessities, such as diapers, baby wipes, and clothes. It is okay to splurge occasionally on toys, but you may want to take steps to ensure that they are educational in nature.

As previously stated, you may want to speak with your son or daughter about any gifts that you wish to give your grandchild. Generally speaking, you will find no problems in the early years. Newborns and infants generally do not understand the concept of being spoiled; therefore, no harm will be done by giving your grandchild a new present here and there. Perhaps, the only problem that you may face is getting out of the habit of doing so later on.

As a reminder, there is nothing wrong with spoiling your grandkids, especially when it comes to your love and affection. The same can be said for gifts and other presents, but just use your best judgment.

You do all you can to recycle your trash. You sort your cans, paper, and glass, and have even eliminated most of the plastic trash that comes into the house. Yet there are still those odd items that just can’t be easily kept out of the trash can. What to do?

Easy! If you have a little one, use those items in an art project! By creating art with your toddler, you can glean a time of learning and togetherness out of an unneeded item. It might still end up in the landfill eventually, but at least you’ll have redeemed another use out of it.

Collages are terrific fun for small children. Use the back of a piece of junk mail or cereal box for your backing. Now find items to glue down in an interesting arrangement. Cotton from medicine bottles can become clouds or white birds. Lids can become wheels on a bus. Scraps of fabric, patterned envelope linings, and foil food wrappers can all be reused in this profitable learning time.

Another consideration about recycling and children’s art is what to do with the finished works. Sure, it’s greenest to go paperless and email Grandma with the latest exploits of your little ones, but if Grandma is not online yet, consider writing letters to her on the back of those little scribble drawings your tot makes. She’ll love her bonus “letter” from the grandbaby.

A number of household items can be recycled into playthings for a small child. Every child enjoys playing with a large cardboard box. Maybe you can even get your hands on an appliance box. These can be artistically remade into wonderful, whimsical playhouses, forts and castles that can be used indoors anytime or outdoors in nice weather.

Have you been tempted to pick up one of those cute plastic paint smocks for your toddler? If you can’t find one second hand at a yard sale or thrift shop, cut a large bib from an old shower curtain or table cloth, and it will work just as well. In addition, if you save your roll-on deodorant bottles, they can be rinsed out (pry the ball out first) and filled with finger paint. Replace the ball, and you have a paint roller that’s fun to draw with.

It is possible to spend a lot of money and generate a lot of landfill trash when buying art materials for your small children. By using your imagination and creativity, most of these items can be easily substituted with recycled materials found around the home.

by Elizabeth Pantley

Getting kids to do the things that demonstrate good manners isn’t always easy or fun. But having good manners will help your child have better friendships, happier family relationships, and an easier time adjusting to the nuances of our society. No child is born with good manners. Manners are definitely something that need to be taught. Over time, and with practice, your child will naturally begin to repeat the things she has been taught from a young age.

One of the social graces that is often overlooked is writing of the Thank You Note. It is so important that children learn from a young age that it is appropriate to write a thank you note anytime they receive a gift, or anytime they have been a guest at someone’s home.

Children will learn what they are taught, and here are some ways to begin the habit of writing thank you notes.

Get the motion going:
Soon after your child receives a gift, sit down with her and help her compose and write a thank you note. Put the paper in front of her, hand her a pen or crayon and suggest an opening line, “Let’s write Grandma’s thank you note. Maybe you want to say . . . “

Take advantage of their computer skills:
Have your child compose thank-you notes on the computer. Most kids enjoy working on the computer and are comfortable with it. Created with care, a computer-generated note, with an added personal comment, is an acceptable way for kids to show their appreciation.

Make it fun:
Thank you notes don’t have to be boring! A child can be encouraged to get creative: a collage, a photo, a drawing – there are many fun ways of getting the point across. What’s most important is that the giver feels acknowledged.

Thank You Note first/Play second! Create a new family rule:
You may only play with a gift after the thank you note has been written. This will get the job done quicker than anything else!

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the Author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.