By Tina Titas

Along with proper nutrition and a healthy lifestyle, one of the most important things you can do to benefit yourself and your baby during pregnancy is exercise. Women who exercise regularly while pregnant have easier labor, deliveries, and recovery time. The majority of pregnant women are able to exercise at a level appropriate to their stage of pregnancy, but you should always check with your doctor to make sure you have no risks or conditions that would prevent you from exercising safely.

Working out at home during pregnancy is fun and convenient when you use pregnancy workout videos as a part of your routine.

Through the use of one of the many excellent exercise videos that are available to you, you can exercise during all stages of your pregnancy in the comfort of your own home. The videos are fun and effective and you are sure to love the challenging yet pregnancy-oriented routines that will help keep you toned and fit throughout your pregnancy. Included in the many benefits of exercising during pregnancy are less fatigue, reduced lower back pain, stress relief, weight management, and a quicker return to your pre-pregnancy weight after delivery. Some forms of exercise are better than others for moms-to-be. Low-impact, low-risk exercises include walking, stretching, yoga, swimming, specialized prenatal aerobics, and Pilates.

Exercise during pregnancy is beneficial to both you and your baby. The wrong exercises however, can cause actually cause harm so it is important to do only those exercises that are known to be safe for both mom and baby. Pregnancy exercise videos will give you a safe, manageable workout routine that is appropriate for your stage of pregnancy. You can order pregnancy exercise videos featuring well-known exercise personalities or your favorite celebrities.

By exercising throughout your pregnancy you will help avoid many of the discomforts associated with pregnancy including constant feelings of exhaustion and lower back pain. An added bonus of regular exercise during your pregnancy is a faster recovery time after delivery and a quicker return to your pre-pregnancy weight.

Pregnancy exercise videos are a great way to keep fit and healthy during your pregnancy. Fun, easy to follow exercise routines designed especially for expectant mothers will give you to opportunity to keep your mind and body fit during your pregnancy and make it much easier for you to regain your pre-pregnancy shape after the birth of your child. You can be healthy and experience significantly less discomfort when you take the time to exercise regularly throughout your entire pregnancy. Pregnancy exercise videos can help you stay fit and will allow you to perform your workout in your own home at your convenience.

If you are an expectant mother or are planning to become pregnant, the importance of regular exercise cannot be overstated. You will make labor and delivery easier for both you and your baby and the benefits will extend after the birth of your child. You will lose that extra pregnancy weight faster and your body will be considerably more resilient if you have a regular workout routine that you continue throughout your entire pregnancy.

About the Author
Tina Titas is a columnist for several health-related publications. She recommends http://www.EasyNaturalRemedies.com/skin_care.html and http://www.MyBeautyRecipes.com for natural skin care that you can make with ingredients in your kitchen cupboards.

By Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, PhD, Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, PhD, and Diane Eyer, PhD

How can we help children blossom socially and emotionally? Read on for some specific tips.

Look for opportunities to discuss other people’s feelings
By explaining how other people would feel if a particular act occurred, you teach your child to take the perspective of others. “If you hit Irving over the head with that truck, he will probably feel very bad and cry. Do you want that to happen?”

Creating a sensitive human being takes work! It often seems a lot easier to just stop vexing and dangerous toddler behavior without explaining what consequences would follow and why, and how someone would feel as a result. Of course, tomorrow someone will probably come out with a video that claims to teach your child how to work and play well with others. But that product would be a drop in the bucket compared with the power that comes from ongoing human relationships where both mind and heart are learning together. What fills the bucket is the interaction children and adults experience: a product of basic social need.

Watch your language
One way to bring up the perspectives of others is to ask your child about the characters in the stories you read together. Ask questions such as “How do you think this person (the character) feels? How would you feel if you were this person? What do you think the person’s friends could do to help him to feel better?”

In fact, many of the current social and emotional programs that teach children about how to be a good person use games in which children adopt different perspectives. One example is the Interpersonal Cognitive Problem Solving program for elementary school children, which was developed by Professor Myrna Shure of Drexel University in Philadelphia. After the adult shows the children pictures of scenes or verbally describes scenarios such as a fight in school or a moment of frustration, the children are asked, “How do you think this person felt in the story? How might you feel if you were that person? How would you want others to react to you?” At Pennsylvania State University, Professor Mark Greenberg created another program of this type called PATHS (Promoting Alternative Thinking Strategies) that helps children talk about their feelings. These programs have been maximally effective in reducing aggressive behavior and are training children on how to understand others’ minds. They are now used widely in school programs.

Explain to your child that there are causes for people’s feelings
Research by Professor Judy Dunn and her colleagues at Pennsylvania State University examined the conversations that fifty 33-month-old children had in their homes with their mothers about feelings and about what causes them. For example, a mother might say, “You broke my glass (the cause) and that makes me sad (the outcome).” Such conversations were just what Professor Dunn and her colleagues looked for in the parent-child dialogues.

She found that at 40 months, children differed widely in their appreciation of emotions and other minds. The results of this study tell us that talk about emotions and what causes emotions impacts children’s developing theory of mind. Hearing an explanation for others’ behavior does at least two things. It may help stunt the natural anger that arises when you are thwarted so you can respond more constructively. It may also help you look for such mitigating explanations on your own in future altercations. And these differences, in turn, will influence how well children interact with their peers and teachers.

Stop bullying in its tracks
The extreme example of children who are not thinking of the welfare of others is the bully. If your child is frequently the target of bullies, it may be a sign that she is less socially competent and, therefore, has fewer friends and is seen as vulnerable. It turns out that children who are more socially competent and who have more friends are less likely to be bullied.

Researchers have determined that both the bullies and the bullied tend to have certain typical characteristics: The majority of victims, for instance, reinforce bullies by giving in to their demands, crying, assuming defensive postures, and failing to fight back. Victims tend to have a history of overly intrusive parenting, with parents who are controlling and overprotective. These parenting behaviors prompt anxiety, low self-esteem, and dependency, which combine to radiate vulnerability. Bullies often bank on their victim’s dependency and vulnerability; they know the other child won’t fight back. This makes the bully feel powerful. Of course, bullies have their own social deficits. They tend to come from families where there is little warmth or affection. The families also report trouble sharing their feelings. Sometimes parents of bullies have very punitive and rigid discipline styles. Finally, bullies feel less discomfort than average children at the thought of causing pain and suffering.

So what can be done for bullies and their victims? Preschools and kindergartens where peer socialization is integrated into the curriculum are good places to start helping them. Anxious, withdrawn children will benefit greatly from developing just one good friendship. And even when they have conflicts with their peers (yes, conflict is inevitable), they’ll be learning valuable lessons in how to interpret social cues accurately. But in addition to the teaching of social skills at school, it’s also important to evaluate the relationship you have with your child, especially if you suspect that he’s a bully. Remember: Bullies tend to come from families where there’s a lack of affection or little sharing of feelings. Take the time to ask your child how he’s feeling and to really listen to his answer. When he expresses anger or rage, work with him to help him regulate his negative emotions and find peaceful ways to resolve them. Finally, when he talks about problems he’s having with his peers, brainstorm with him to come up with skillful ways he could resolve them.

Finally, children who are not bullies or victims have a powerful role to play in shaping the behavior of other children. Teach your children to speak up on behalf of children being bullied. “Don’t treat her that way; it’s not nice.” “Hitting is not a good way to solve problems. Let’s find a teacher and talk about what happened.” For more examples and role-play situations, check out Sherryll Kraizer’s The Safe Child Book.

Make space for social time
Children sometimes just need to hang out with others or to be by themselves. It might seem as if they are doing “nothing,” but there’s a lot to learn from unscheduled time on their own or with other children. Children need to be able to be spontaneous — to be able to just goof off! Creating playdates for our children helps them diversify their social world and develop additional social tools for dealing with a greater variety of social challenges. And social interactions give you opportunities for discussing emotional situations and others’ perspectives. This cannot be obtained on the fly, in the car between activities, but only from real social interaction that you are present to observe and comment on and coach as the occasion arises.

If your child is in child care or preschool, be sure to build strong connections with your child’s caregiver or teacher
You want your child’s emotions taken seriously when he is not with you, too, and you want that emotional coaching going on whenever a conflict comes up. If you talk with the caregiver on a daily basis about how your child is doing and ask questions about how he gets along with his peers and how disagreements are handled, you’ll have a better sense of whether emotional coaching and mentoring is going on. Get in the habit of building strong ties to the people whom your child spends time with just as it makes a difference when children get consistent messages from their parents, it’s important that the messages they receive from their child care providers are consistent as well.

While there are many things we can do to foster social development, here are some general suggestions for helping your children to tune in to their own feelings.

Avoid ignoring or belittling your child’s feelings
Although often you’d wish such moments would just go away, times of emotional upset can be understood as key opportunities for teaching children how to avoid or resolve such situations, while also taking the feelings of others into consideration. View these times as opportunities to teach your children how to make lemonade out of lemons, while still allowing them to experience their feelings of hurt or disappointment. A versatile recipe for lemonade will be very useful for dealing with life’s inevitable frustrations.

Try to see the world through your children’s eyes
Once you do, you’ll recognize that the things that cause our children pain are often different from the things that cause us, as adults, pain. You don’t want to treat your children any differently than you would want to be treated when you express your emotions. How would you feel if you confided in a friend about something that bothered you and she made fun of you and laughed? Make a point of teaching your child that it’s okay to show negative emotion, such as sadness or fear. Likewise, try to demonstrate positive ways of coping with your own anger and negative feelings. Remember: Your children are watching you for lessons on regulating their emotions.

The bottom line is to talk to your children and invite them to talk to you. The more you try to understand how they feel and help them understand how an event happened, the more coping skills your child will develop. And, as we have documented, social skills are essential for doing well, both in school and in life.

Reprinted from: Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children Really Learn — And Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D., and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Ph.D., with Diane Eyer, Ph.D. © 2003 by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D., and Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Ph.D.

About the Authors
Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D., is a member of the psychology department at Temple University, where she directs the Infant Language Laboratory and participated in one of the nation’s largest studies of the effects of child care. The mother of three sons, she also composes and performs children’s music. Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Ph.D., is the H. Rodney Sharp Professor in the School of Education at the University of Delaware, where she holds a joint appointment with the departments of linguistics and psychology and directs the Infant Language Project. She has also been a recipient of the John Simon Guggenheim Memorial Fellowship and is the mother of a son and a daughter. Together, the authors were featured on the PBS Human Language series and are the authors of How Babies Talk. Diane Eyer, Ph.D., is a member of the psychology department at Temple University and author of Motherguilt and Mother-Infant Bonding.

For more information, please visitwww.writtenvoices.com.

By Jill Brennan

You’ve done a lot of the hard work and potty training is now going well. To get things running smoothly you’ve been staying home and it’s been working. You’ve got a good system happening between the two of you and there have been relatively few accidents in recent days. You’re even starting to feel like this potty training thing is no big deal.

You wonder whether maybe it’s time to head out, to move beyond the safety of home. However, you know that potty training at home is very different to potty training in the big wide world but you aren’t sure how different and what to do to prepare yourself and educate your child on what to expect.

Just because it’s new and perhaps a bit intimidating, you can’t stay home forever. No really, you can’t! Of course, it’s tempting to put them in pull ups so you won’t have to worry about any potential accidents. The only problem is that it isn’t really sending your child the right message about the path ahead.

You know that your child can go for at least an hour in between potty visits so if you time it right you might be able to get there and back within the hour. Well, maybe. But bladders, especially children’s bladders, aren’t always like that. You know what it’s like when you get excited or nervous, you need to go to the bathroom more. Your child is like that too, only they can’t hold on like you can. So you may well find that your child needs to go more when they are out, not less.

So what can you do?
1. Explain to your child what will happen when you are out, how it will likely be different from home and any concerns you may have.

2. Get them to go, or at least try to go potty before you leave.

3. Find out where the toilets are as soon as you get wherever you are going and go straight away. It’s much easier doing this calmly before they really need it than in the rush of a sudden urge.

4. If you’re out in public, as you move around always be on the lookout for those tell-tale bathroom signs so you know exactly which direction you should head if you need to.

5. If you don’t have a portable potty with you, try getting your child to sit backwards on a regular toilet – some children find this easier because they have the wall or toilet cistern to hold onto and don’t feel like they are going to fall off the seat on to the floor.

6. Take some spare clothing, a couple of plastic bags, and some baby wipes and paper towels with you in case of accidents.

7. If they have an accident in a shop or restaurant – let the staff know and race to the bathroom with your child. Sure it is embarrassing but you won’t be the first. All you can really do is apologise – quickly – and leave a big tip.

8. If your child has an accident at a friend’s house then it’s your responsibility to clean it up. Best to take your own paper towels so you can quickly spring into action without having to ask for everything and make it a big deal.

9. Don’t forget to take your sense of humour – accidents or not, you’re going to need it. There may be several false alarms with your child wanting to find out what happens when they say the magic trigger word. If you feel this is happening, try not to get upset with them. Instead try praising them for telling you and being so responsible about their potty training, even though you know it’s not easy.

Good luck!

About The Author
Find more information on how to handle potty training road blocks and what other potty training sites won’t tell you, visit Potty Training. There you will find the advice and resources you need to succeed with potty training in the long term.

by Armin Brott

Dear Mr. Dad: What should we do to childproof our house?

Armin answers: Once your baby realizes that he’s able to move around by himself, his mission in life will be to locate–and race you to–the most dangerous, life-threatening things in your home. So if you haven’t already begun the never-ending process of child-proofing your house, better start now. The first thing to do is get down on your hands and knees and check things out from your baby’s perspective. Taking care of those pesky wires and covering up your outlets is only the beginning, so start with the basics:

Anywhere and Everywhere:

• Move anything valuable out of the baby’s reach.
• Bolt to the wall bookshelves and other free-standing cabinets (this goes double if you live in earthquake country); pulling things down on top of themselves is a favorite baby suicide attempt.
• Don’t hang heavy things on the stroller–it can tip over.
• Get special guards for your radiators and move your space heaters and electric fans off the floor.
• Install a safety gate at the bottom and top of every stairway.
• Adjust your water heater temperature to 120 degrees. This will reduce the likelihood that your baby will scald himself.
• Get a fire extinguisher and put smoke alarms in every bedroom.

Especially in the kitchen:

• Install safety locks on all but one of your low cabinets and drawers. Most of these locks allow the door to be opened slightly–just enough to accommodate a baby’s fingers–so make sure the kind you get also keep the door from closing completely as well.
• Stock the one unlocked cabinet with unbreakable pots and pans and encourage your baby to jump right in.
• Keep baby’s high chairs away from the walls. His strong little legs can push off and knock the chair over.
• Watch out for irons and ironing boards. The cords are a hazard and the boards themselves are easy to knock over.
• Get an oven lock and covers for your oven and stove knobs.
• Use the back burners on the stove whenever possible and keep the handles turned toward the back of the stove.
• Never hold your baby while you’re cooking. Teaching him what steam is or how water boils may seem like a good idea, but bubbling spaghetti sauce or hot oil hurts when it splashes.
• Put mouse- and insect traps in places where your baby can’t get to them.
• Use plastic dishes and serving bowls whenever you can–glass breaks and, at least in my house, the shards seem to show up for weeks, no matter how well I sweep.
• Post the phone numbers of the nearest poison control agency and your pediatrician near your phone.

Especially in the living room:

• Put decals–at baby height–on any sliding glass doors.
• Get your plants off the floor: over 700 species can cause illness or death if eaten, including such common ones as lily of the valley, iris, and poinsettia.
• Pad the corners of low tables, chairs, fireplace hearths.
• Make sure your fireplace screen and tools can’t be pulled over.
• Keep furniture away from windows. Babies will climb up whatever they can and may fall through the glass.

Especially in the bedroom/nursery:

• No homemade or antique cribs. They probably don’t conform to today’s safety standards.
• Remove from the crib all mobiles and hanging toys. By 5 months, most kids can push themselves up on their hands and knees and can get tangled up (and even choke on) strings.
• Keep the crib at least two feet away from blinds, drapes, hanging cords, or wall decorations with ribbons
• Check toys for missing parts.
• Toy chest lids should stay up when opened (so they doesn’t slam down on tiny fingers).
• Don’t leave dresser drawers open. From the baby’s perspective, they look an awful lot like stairs.
• Keep crib items to a minimum: a sheet, a blanket, bumpers, and a few soft toys. Babies don’t need pillows at this age and large toys or stuffed animals can be climbed on and used to escape the crib.
• Don’t leave your baby unattended on the changing table even for a second.

Especially in the bathroom:

• If possible, use a gate to keep access restricted to the adults in the house.
• Install a toilet guard.
• Keep bath and shower doors closed
• Never leave water standing in the bath, a sink, or even a bucket. Drowning is the third most common cause of accidental deaths of young children, and babies can drown in practically no water at all.
• Keep medication and cosmetics high up.
• Make sure there’s nothing your baby can climb up on to raid the medicine cabinet.
• Keep shavers and hair dryers unplugged and out of reach.
• No electrical appliances near bathtub.
• Use a bath mat or stick-on safety strips to reduce the risk of slipping in the bathtub.

About the Author:
Armin Brott, hailed by Time as “the superdad’s superdad,” has written or co-written six critically acclaimed books on fatherhood, including the newly released second edition of Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad’s Guide to the Second and Third Years. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men’s Health, The Washington Post among others. Armin is an experienced radio and TV guest, and has appeared on Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect. He’s the host of “Positive Parenting,” a weekly radio program in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com.

If you take an active interest in being green and the environment in general then you will probably want to maintain those values throughout all areas and elements of your life. However, if you are about to become a parent or have recently become one, then it is difficult to know where to start! Everything may seem overwhelming at first but as soon as you learn how to be an environmentally friendly parent, you will find it easy to get into a routine.

There is nothing much to environmentally friendly parenting and most of the things you can do to stay green are common sense more than anything. None of the below tips are elements of daily life that easily spring to mind when you have a thousand other things whirling around your head! But they will help to give you an idea of what is involved in environmentally friendly parenting and hopefully inspire you!

• You will not have to think about car-pooling until your child is of school age, but it is worth getting into the habit as soon as possible. Share a car when you have errands to run and your partner or spouse has to go to. You will save money and do your bit to help the environment! Car-pool whenever you can.
• Get into cooking! Using organic ingredients and cooking all of your meals from scratch will help to reduce the amount of rubbish that you are throwing away. Because there will be no convenience foods in your diet, there will be a reduced amount of packaging to throw away. This will also benefit your child, who will be eating good, wholesome foods!
• Unplug every item of electrical equipment when it is not in use. Not only will you be making your home more efficient in terms of the energy usage, but you are also baby-proofing your home by reducing the risk of electrocution that can result from little ones playing with cords.
• Recycle everything! This includes the usual bottles, jars and cans, but also items like baby clothing and toys. There are usually community associations that organise swaps and charitable events, or you could easily take old items to the local charity shops instead to help others as well as the environment.
• Practice green household chores. Instead of using a tumble dryer to dry baby clothes, use an outdoor washing line instead. Not only are you being more energy efficient but also you are improving the quality of your baby’s clothes. They will be softer to the touch and will last much longer.

So now you know some of the best environmentally friendly tactics for, you just have to get your thinking cap on and examine any other ways that you could change your lifestyle and home practices for the good of the environment and your family!

by Elizabeth Pantley, Contemporary Books, 2001

“Dad! I’m home!” Melody announced her arrival from school in the typical way. “Where are you?’

“In my office, Mel,” Kevin answered. She ambled in, knowing she’d get a hug, a smile, and an inquiry about her day. After they exchanged greetings and Melody told him about her day at school, she turned to leave the room. Kevin stopped her. “Mel? Before you go out to play, would you mind picking up the dog doo in the yard? You know you’re suppose to do it in the morning before you leave.”

Melody wrinkled her nose. “Sorry, Daddy. I forgot. I’ll do it.”

A while later, Kevin finished his work. As he entered the kitchen to start dinner, he spotted Melody out on the swing set. He also spotted the various brown lumps decorating his lawn. Kevin opened the window and called out to remind his daughter, “Melody! Don’t forget to pick up the dog doo!”

“OK!” she answered back cheerfully.

Soon after, Kevin called Melody for dinner. “What do you say we eat outside? It’s really nice out.” As the two of them toted their food out to the picnic table, Kevin had to sidestep several doggie deposits. “Mel, this is really gross. I wish you’d get it picked up.”

“I’ll do it right after dinner. Promise.” Melody looked contrite, but her Dad looked unconvinced.

Dad and daughter enjoyed a very pleasant dinner, despite the canine ambiance, catching up on the day’s news and tossing around ideas for the upcoming weekend. As soon as they’d cleared the picnic table and tidied up the kitchen, Melody gathered up her homework and began studying diligently for her math test.

Kevin put his hand on her shoulder. “Honey…I’m really proud of you for being so conscientious about your homework. . . but are you ever going to pick up that dog doo?”

The Hidden Message
“If you can put up with the drone of my voice, go ahead and feel free to ignore me. I don’t plan to take any action about this issue at all.”

Think About It
An inescapable part of parenting is getting our children to do many things they’d rather not, like picking up dog doo, taking out trash, cleaning their rooms, and finishing homework. When a parent continues to remind, ask, beg, pester, and yes, nag a child about a task, but fails to follow through with any action, the parent actually gives the child an interesting choice: either listen to the nagging, or do the task. The child is free to decide that the minimal pain of listening to a parent beg over and over is a small price to pay for sidestepping the dreaded deed. And children often do, sometimes without realizing it.

All of Kevin’s comments to Melody are vague, and without any follow through action on his part he may as well say, “If you could manage to pick up the dog doo sometime before your next birthday, that would be really nice…”

Changes You Can Make
You can avoid falling into the nagging trap. Simply follow this four-step process:

1. Think;
2. Tell;
3. Warn;
4. Act.

1. Think. Before you ask your child to do something, think about exactly what you want, when you want it done, and how your child should proceed. Be clear about your purpose.
2. Tell. Once you’re certain about what you want, tell your child. Be specific. Avoid any phrase that makes your request sound optional. For example, “Melody, I would like the dog doo picked up before we sit down to dinner at 6:00.”
3. Warn. If the deadline looms and the requested task has not been completed, let your child know that you are aware of this, and remind her to get the job done. “Melody, dinner will be ready in ten minutes. You are to pick up the dog doo before we eat.”
4. Act. If the deadline has been reached and the task has not been performed, you have a wide variety of options that all come under the heading “Act.”A) You could nudge your child in the right direction either with physical help (Put the shovel and bucket in her hand and guide her out to the yard.)B) You could use a when-then statement (“Melody, I’ll be eating my dinner in the kitchen. When you have picked up the dog doo, then you may join me.”)C) You might follow through with a consequence (“Melody, since you didn’t do as I asked, you’ll be staying home after dinner instead of going to your friend’s house as you had planned.)

   D) If this is a repeat offense, you might invite your child to sit down for a heart-to-heart. Express your displeasure and your expectation. Brainstorm a solution to the problem. For example, you may decide that she needs to create a checklist and keep it posted in a prominent place, such as on the front of the refrigerator, so that she’ll remember to do her chore each day. Then hand her a piece of paper, a ruler and a box of markers and ask her to create the checklist then and there.

   E) You might choose to do it yourself. I know, I know—you’re thinking, “What!?!” But wait, you didn’t let me finish. Do it yourself and let her know which of your jobs she can do for you. (“It’s 6:00, and since you did not pick up the dog doo, I took the time to do it for you. Which means that, in return, you’ll take the time to pull the weeds for me after dinner.”)

Keep in mind that, if you already have demonstrated a gift for ‘gentle reminding, asking, nagging and hinting’, it will take some time to convince your child that you have changed. And she’ll only get the hint that you mean business if you’re consistent in employing the last step (“act”). If you repeat step 3 (“warn”), twice, three times, a dozen times … then you defeat the process and default into your old Nag Mode.

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

There comes a time in some babies’ lives where it seems like they are becoming afraid of strangers, or even people they do not see on a regular basis. During this time your baby will cling to you more and cry more when someone comes near or tries to pick them up. This is referred to as “stranger anxiety” and is completely normal, even though it may be heartbreaking.

As your baby gets bigger and more aware of the world around him, he becomes more attached to his mom and dad, knowing that they are his caretakers, the ones that will clothe him, feed him, and keep him safe. He knows that as long as he is in your arms that no harm will come to him. He understands that as long as you are together then no one can take you away from him, or him from you.

Stranger anxiety is your babies’ first real fear. Not only is it a fear of being taken from you, but it is a fear of you being taken from him. It normally happens around 7-8 months of age, and lasts anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Generally anyone that the baby see’s on a very regular basis will be immune from the screaming, while people that he doesn’t know, or only see’s on the rare occasion will be met with tears and terrified screaming. There are some things that you can do to make it easier for your baby though.

1. Try not to leave your baby with a complete stranger. If you have to leave your baby with a new sitter then plan on getting to the sitters house at least 20 minutes early. The earlier the better to help your baby get acquainted to his caregiver and help make the transition of you leaving easier.

2. Have get togethers at your house. Instead of going to someone else’s house during the holidays, have family and friends over to your house. That way when your baby needs a time out, away from everyone, they have a familiar place to go to — their own bed.

3. Warn your friends and family ahead of time about this phase. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by having your baby scream in their face, so let everyone know ahead of time, and also ask them to stay back a bit from your baby when they first come in. Give your baby some time and space to be able to watch everyone around him, before he has to interact with them.

4. Don’t hand off baby immediately. Going along with number three above, hold your baby close to you when you enter a new place and don’t hand him off to anyone unless he acts like he wants to go. Don’t force your baby to be with anyone he doesn’t want to be with.

These are four easy rules to remember to help your baby get through the stranger anxiety period. It is also possible that your baby will react badly at first to you or your partner, if the other one is home with them full time during the day. It is easy for a baby to attach himself to the person there the most, and shut out other people. Don’t take it personal, instead remember that it is just a phase that your baby is going through and like so many other phases, it will pass and your baby will soon be raising his arms and running to you when he sees you enter the room.

You waited nine months for this moment. From the time you took that first pregnancy test you looked forward to bringing your baby home from the hospital. While in the hospital you probably thought to yourself that it was going to be a breeze. After all, your baby is sleeping most of the time, only waking occasionally to eat. You might even find yourself thinking that it is a little boring at this point with the baby. However, the babymoon period will be over before you know it and you may find that you are beginning to have a difficult time with the changes.

Be Prepared
Prior to coming home from the hospital, be sure that you are ready to bring your baby home. Decide where your baby is going to sleep and have that area prepared. Have an area all set up and ready for when you need to change diapers with a pad, diapers, wipes, and any ointment or powder you might need. Have your baby’s clothes washed, clean and ready for you to just put them on him, along with extra onesies and socks available for when you need them. If you are prepared then the time will go much smoother.

Remain Flexible
Your baby will probably demand a lot of your time. Any schedule you were previously on in your household will probably not be able to be maintained. It may be 4:30 and time to start dinner so that you can eat at 5:00, but the baby has just woken up and is hungry. By the time you have gotten done feeding him, he needs his diaper changed. While you are changing his diaper you figure you might as well put on a fresh, clean outfit. When you look at the clock it is 5:30, and dinner has not been started, and you have other family members who are getting hungry. Learning to be flexible is a big stepping stone in becoming a parent, not only for the new mom, but for the rest of the family.

Don’t Lose Touch
Throughout pregnancy you probably met other women who were pregnant as well. Be sure not to lose touch with them during the first few months of your baby’s life, because these women are going to understand exactly what you are going through. They are going to understand the middle of the night feedings, the all night parties, the napless days, and the generally crying and fussiness that you are going through. These women will become your biggest allies.

Don’t Fight It
The facts are your life has changed. Eight hours of uninterrupted sleep is just not possible at this time. If you are lucky by the time your baby is a few weeks old he will only be waking up once at night, however in most cases babies wake up several times a night for a very long time. Since your baby can feel your stress, tension and frustration, just try to relax. If you can’t change a fact, why try. It will only make for a more difficult time for all of you.

Getting Out
Unless there is a medical reason why your doctor or your baby’s pediatrician has told you not to take the baby out of the house, there is generally no reason why you can not get out of the house with your newborn. Go to the mall and walk around for a while. Take your baby to a park and tell him about the ducks in the water. Take him over to a friend’s house, or to a relative just to sit back and enjoy a cup of tea or coffee. While you love being around your baby, having a conversation with another adult could do you a world of good.

If It Is Offered, Accept
You should accept any and all offers people give you to help. Whether it is to bring you over a meal, take you out to lunch, or just to sit with the baby while you take a nice long hot shower. You are going to have a lot of responsibility resting all on your shoulders and a little break is definitely nice.

Don’t Worry About Spoiling Your Baby
You can not spoil a baby under six months old. Many doctors say you can not spoil an infant before their first birthday. These first few months are the time when your baby bonds with you, and learns that when he needs you, you will be there. Don’t be afraid to hold your baby and respond to all his needs. At the same time, if your baby is fed, clean and for all intents and purposes should be happy but is crying, don’t be afraid to leave him in his bed or another safe place for a while so that you can go and get things done that you need to get done.

By Timothy Robinson

The moment that you have waited for has finally arrived: the day you bring your newborn baby home from the hospital. Like all other expectant parents you will have spent the last nine months preparing for this day. You will have a baby room full of everything a newborn could possibly want. You will have read book after book on a wide magnitude of baby topics from what to name your baby to when you can expect those first words. You will have walked and paced the length of baby’s room, imagining your little bundle sleeping peacefully in her crib. Now the moment has arrived. In the crib lies your sleeping baby and the most exciting adventure of life is about to begin.

The first few days home from the hospital are just as important to you as they are to your baby. As new parents you will have gone through an exciting birth that will have left you breathless and exhilarated.

During your first days at home it may be wise to limit the amount of visitors that you welcome into your home. You need time to recuperate and settle into the routine that a sleeping, feeding, and often crying baby brings into your life.

As a new mother you will need to pay particular attention to the way that you are feeling so that those “baby blues” don’t creep up and surprise you unexpectedly. It is normal to feel a bit out of sorts and sad for the first couple of weeks after giving birth. Your body is going through some major physical changes after the birth of your baby. Your hormones will be changing and you likely will be feeling a lack of sleep. You should be patient with yourself, understand that all these feelings are normal, and that in a couple of weeks things will feel better for you.

If you find that you are feeling more and more depressed, and find it difficult to care for yourself and your family, you should consult your doctor so that he/she can determine if you are suffering from a condition called postpartum depression. While not serious, postpartum depression can leave a new mother despondent, tired, and subject to emotional swings and loss of appetite. The effects of giving birth, hormone changes and the lifestyle changes of having a newborn (not sleeping, being indoors a lot, responsibilities of caring for a baby) can lead to a bout of the baby blues. Baby blues are usually short lived and go away without treatment.

During the first few days at home your family will be adjusting to the additional member of your family. If you have other children at home you may be dealing with feelings of jealousy as the new baby takes center stage. Make sure that you include your other children in the day-to-day activities that are part of the new baby’s routine. Let older children help with diaper changing, feeding, and just sitting and holding the new baby if they are old enough to do so.

This is your time to adjust to the changes in your life and settle into a comfortable routine…at least for the moment!

About the Author
Tim Robinson’s report, Baby’s First Year: What Every New Parent Needs To Know will make sure you have everything you need to know to provide for your child. Just visit for a sneak peak at what the guide will share with you.

by Jason Rickard

A common problem many times facing parents is Colic. Estimates say that between 15-25% of infants are born with Colic. Although it is not believed to effect a baby’s development it is still a struggle for parents to cope with. Babies with colic most often cry for several hours at a time with diaper changes and feedings having no effect.

Some of the symptoms that your little one may have colic are (but not limited to) as follows:

1. A high pitched cry that does not let up in intensity, sometimes for hours at a time
2. Pulls their legs towards their chest or holds them straight out
3. Face becoming flush and warm while legs feel cooler
4. Held breathes
5. Painful facial expressions

Unlike many other childhood ailments, there is no one specific reason a baby may have colic. There are several factors however that may exasperate colic.

They include:

1. Lack of Burping
2. Food Allergies
3. Swallowing Air
4. Overfeeding or Eating too fast
5. A tense home environment

The good news is that the symptoms usually disappear at about the 4 month mark. In the meantime here are some tips on minimizing those symptoms.

1. After each ounce or few minutes of formula, burp them.
2. Do not feed them while they are lying down
3. Go for a ride in the car or try a gentle rocking while walking.
4. Play white noise for them. There are many options in white noise now including lullabies playing in the forefront. Constant noise like Vacuum Cleaners and Fans are also very helpful in some cases and can be purchased on CD to avoid drafts or other issues. These can be purchased from the author of this article at www.yourfavouriteshop.com
5. A warm bath with a few drops of chamomile essential oil to the water to help them to relax further.
6. Change to a low-allergy formula or switch to a soy based one.
7. If you are breast feeding, avoid tea and coffee

Above all you should always consult your physician to discuss the different symptoms. You should always be aware that the symptoms listed above may also be indications of ear infections, allergies, etc. so it is important to discuss everything candidly with your pediatrician.

About The Author
Jason Rickard is the owner of www.yourfavouriteshop.com – European Reseller of White Noise and Relaxation CDs *Article may be reprinted provided it is not altered and links are live.* sales@yourfavouriteshop.com