by Elizabeth Pantley author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007)

Family life is complicated and unpredictable. Day-to-day expectations and responsibilities can create angry emotions in both parents and children. No matter how skilled you are at parenting, no matter how wonderful your children are, you cannot eliminate or avoid the unpleasant situations that occur in all families. However, once you understand where the anger comes from you can modify the situation and learn ways to control your reactions, so that anger can occupy a smaller place in your home.

Our children bring us incredible joy. Yet, there are times that they can bring out the anger in us. It is helpful to identify the things that provoke your anger so you can make positive changes in your household.

What sets you off?
Most parents get angry over issues that are insignificant in the grand scheme of life, yet happen on such a regular basis that they become blown out of proportion. Some of the most common parenting issues that trigger anger are whining, temper tantrums, sibling bickering, and non-cooperation. Determine which behaviors most bother you and set about making a plan to correct each problem that sets off your anger.

Notice your hot spots
In addition to triggers, there are “hot spots” in the day when anger more easily rises to the surface. These are typically times when family members are tired, hungry or stressed. These emotions leave us more vulnerable to anger. This can happen in the early morning, before naptime, before meals, or at bedtime. You may also encounter situations when misbehavior increases, and so does your anger: grocery shopping, playdates, or family visits, for example.

Set a plan
Determine if there are things you can do differently to ward off some of the issues that spark your anger. For example, if the morning rush brings stress, you can prepare things the night before: set out clothing, pack lunches, collect shoes. Then create a “morning poster” that outlines the daily routine step-by-step.

If you find that tempers are shorter in the hour before dinner, set out healthy appetizers, enlist the kids’ help in preparing dinner, get the kids involved in a craft activity, or plan an earlier meal time.

Doing things the way you’ve always done them and expecting different results only leaves you frustrated and angry. Instead, identify your anger triggers and take action to change things for the better.

Learn something new
Once you’ve identified a problem, consider several options for solving it. Jot down possible alternatives on paper, or talk it over with another adult. Read through a few parenting books and check the indexes for your topic. Visit an online parenting chat group or posting board. There’s no reason for you to make decisions in a vacuum – I guarantee that the problems you are dealing with are common and there are lots of sources for solutions.

Be flexible
Anger is not something that can be dealt with once and then will go away. Your children grow and change, and new issues appear. From time to time take a fresh look at the issues that create negative emotions in your family and take action to change things for the better.

Let love help
And, finally, at times of anger, hold on to the feeling of love that is the foundation of your relationship with your child. Take time every day to bask in the joy of being a parent. Take time to play, talk and listen. Hug, kiss and cuddle your child often. When you build up this foundation of positive love and emotions you will find yourself less likely to experience intense anger.

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

by Barbara A. Eastom Bates

It happened during the ninth month of my first pregnancy. I was going through a department store check-out lane where a teenage girl was ringing up my purchases. She looked shyly at my burgeoning belly with an expression that could only be described as reverent.

With eyes full of dreams of future motherhood she asked, “Is pregnancy really as bad as everyone says?”

Without the slightest guilt, I replied, “No. It’s worse.”

The Deception
When my husband and I announced the birth of our blessed expectation some months prior, along with endless congratulations, I received the good news of the many wonderful changes I could expect.

“You’ll positively glow.”

“Your hair and nails will look fabulous.”

“You’ll feel absolutely beautiful.”

According to family and friends, as a gestating woman, I would feel nothing short of a precious vessel, glowing with health and radiance given only to those experiencing the miracle of growing a child.

About a week later, wearing the pallor of death, I was running away from the smell of my husband’s lunchtime tuna fish sandwich knowing I’d never been so violently ill my entire life.

The Reality
Although it’s rumored there are actually women who sail through pregnancy untouched by any ills or discomfort, I was not one of them. If I’d ever experienced a pregnancy glow, I’m certain I could only have been radioactive.

I was told to expect a little morning sickness. I didn’t anticipate 24/7 progesterone poisoning, body aches, or never ending fatigue. And in all the happy tales of pregnancy recounted to me, I’m certain I’d have remembered hearing if pure, unadulterated misery were mentioned as a symptom of gestation.

Sitting in my obstetrician’s office near the end of the first trimester, she asked how I was feeling. “Sick.”

“Good.” She replied.

Seeing my defeated look, she offered a small respite. “You’ll start to feel better after week 12 or 13.”

I crossed the days off my calendar waiting for magical week 13. It came and went. My never ending nausea did not. I was sick, tired, and sick of being both.

I’d been told how sharing a child together would make my marital relationship more intimate. I, on the other hand, hated my husband. No matter he and I had joyfully consented to make this child together, or that he worried and did the best he could to make me feel more comfortable. Somewhere in the back of my mind, as I watched him lie peacefully asleep at night while I was awake fending off nausea, all I could think was, “this is your fault.”

And so it went for the entire duration of nine months. I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt, if I ever survived this go-round on the pregnancy rollercoaster, there would be no more children in my future, ever. Motherhood just wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be.

The Grand Debut
Jacob Lyle arrived in early fall that year, bearing 10 perfect fingers and toes, a head full of brown hair and big blue eyes. He was bruised and battered from birth, yet, to my eyes, perfection unlike the world had ever seen before.

Suddenly, my entire life made sense. At 23-years old, I wasn’t yet sure what I wanted to be when I grew up, or what my future held outside of being a wife to my husband. With the arrival of Jacob, I knew exactly why I was here—to be the mother of this beautiful child. Having Jacob filled my life with a sense of awe and wonder I had never known. I was a mother, and that was enough.

Altered Expectations
While I had expected sleepless nights with my newborn, what I hadn’t expected was how much I would enjoy them. I gladly gave up sleep to have the chance just to hold my tiny son in my arms and look at his sweet face.

I expected life to change. I never expected the very foundations of my world to be rocked. It came as a total shock that the simple act of becoming a mother—wasn’t simple.

Previous to motherhood, tragedy in the world was sad. After the birth of my son, it was heart-wrenching. No longer could I watch a movie or read a news report depicting harm to a child without emotion. Every child became my child. What if it were Jacob who was sick? What if it were Jacob who was injured?

Issues I’d previously given no thought suddenly became of substantial importance. Was there truly a difference between breastfeeding and formula feeding? Should we circumcise? If I vaccinated my child, he could have a serious adverse reaction. If I chose not to vaccinate, he could become very ill.

I became an information addict and read every book on childcare I could get my hands on and spent endless hours researching my concerns and second guessing my decisions. The rest of my waking hours were spent staring at Jacob as he slept, assuring myself he was still breathing and would only continue to do so thorough my conscious willing of it. Fortunately, he survived my new mother paranoia and came out relatively unscathed– or at least, I will assume so until I’m presented with a bill for therapy.

Personal Truths
I had gone into motherhood with the words of many fostering my belief I’d have a baby, but life would eventually go back to normal again by the magical six-week check-up (at which point I’d also have lost all my baby weight). What I didn’t know when I gave birth was normal was gone forever, along with any peace of mind, my figure, and any hope of a good night’s sleep, but that I’d never trade a moment of my new life to have it back again.

Motherhood, I’ve come to find, is a journey rather than a destination. And while we may endeavor to share experiences with a new mom-to-be, the truths of motherhood remain personal and hers alone to find. The only certainty is the journey is well worth traveling.

I only wish I could talk to that teenager one more time.

About The Author
Barbara Eastom Bates is the author of the upcoming release, “Basic Training for Brides-to-Be,” and editor-in-chief of Operation Military Spouse, opmilspouse@yahoo.com

by Rexanne Mancini

Moms, did you ever question your value as a role model, caretaker, administer of hugs and Band-Aids? I think we all have in today’s climate of “do more, get more, have more.”

Many of us work to bring home a paycheck and others work for our sanity. Have you ever wondered if your children were better off with the baby sitter than you?

Scientific studies are beginning to point to the overwhelming value of a mother’s love, hugs and support. Nannies, baby-sitters and relatives are terrific. They just aren’t as terrific as Mom.

I have had the best of both worlds, I suspect. I worked a high-powered executive job until my older daughter was two and a half. At a crossroads in my career, I opted to “get pregnant and stay home for a year.” Little did I realize I was about to take a ten-year hiatus from my much-loved life.

I didn’t get pregnant right away, but, after having spent a year basking in the glow of being Mom, I couldn’t bear giving up the care and nurturing of my daughter to another nanny, no matter how wonderful. I think it was the best career move of my life.

Ten years later, I am back in the work force and thriving. Yes, I felt bored much of the time. Yes, our family sacrificed the bigger house, fancier cars and vacations some of our peers were enjoying. But it was a conscious decision to sacrifice for the benefit of our children. We wanted our morals, our ethics and our life lessons to influence our them.

I think moms can work at home, be homemakers or work outside of the home and still be great moms. The most important part of mothering is being there for our children. Maybe your sacrifice is going to work but spending your precious little free time reading your child a bedtime story every night, taking him to the park on Saturdays or chaperoning your daughter’s school dance. What matters is our input, the confidence in our roles as mothers, knowing we are the best person for the role and to understand how valuable we are to society.

Pat yourselves on the backs, moms … you’ve accomplished a miracle! There is no greater sacrifice on earth, in my opinion, than making the decision to be a parent. Know how important you are. Know that your children need you to be as solid an individual as you can be. Therein lies your strength as a mother, whether you spend the day at home or in an office. We are all exceptional women in our motherhood.

Copyright – 2000-2004 – Rexanne Mancini

About The Author
Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com – www.rexanne.com – Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne’s Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html.  rexanne@rexanne.com

by Paula Wilson

Alot of children today are not developing a love of reading that will help them be successful adults. As parents, our fundamental duty is to prepare our children for adulthood. We give them our love and our time, and by doing this we are preparing them to face the world. Teaching them to read and to love reading will also help prepare them to face the world with confidence and to be successful. Let us not forget what our job is as we continue to help our children grow into healthy and happy adults.

One of my favorite pictures of me was taken when I was about 11/2 years old. I was sitting in a little red rocking chair made by my grandfather reading a book to a big orange a white cat who was sitting in my lap. I am 28 years old now and two of my greatest loves are reading and cats. Ok, maybe my love for cats has not made me successful, but I know that my love for reading has helped me become the person I am today. I am so grateful to my parents for instilling in me a love for reading and education. I don’t remember sitting in that little red chair reading that book, but I do have very fond memories of my mom and dad reading to me, helping me learn to read, and later on helping me with my homework. Because of that healthy respect I have for education, I was able to succeed in college and graduate school. I have a 11/2 year old son now, and I know how important it is to teach him to have a love for reading. I hope that all parents will realize this and will get their children involved in reading at an early age.

About The Author
Paula Wilson is the mother of a 1 year old son. She has developed the WAHM website http://www.wahmresourceplace.com. She is an Independent Consultant for Usborne Books, and her website can be found here: http://www.ubah.com/x1367

by Royce Armstrong

“Dad, you’re going to be a grandfather.” My son was calling from his Naval base. He could have told me anything else on earth and I would not have been more surprised. At first I thought he was joking. I waited for the punch line. It was no joke.

He had come home on leave a few weeks earlier. He had met a girl. We knew very little about her. They had dated while he was home. It turns out they had kept contact, calling, writing and e-mailing to each one another. Soon after he had gone back to his base she discovered she was pregnant. They were, of course, not married.

It took a few moments for what he was saying to sink in. How could this happen? (Stupid question.) What was he going to do about it? (We are Catholic. Another stupid question.) How could he let this happen? (My first sensible question.) Surprise rolled over into anger. We ended up slamming down the phones in anger.

A jillion things raced through my mind. I was barely in my 40’s. I was too young to be a grandparent. What were our friends going to think? What was our pastor going to think? How were these two kids going to get along raising a baby? What was the mother really like? After all, we barely knew her. How were they going to be able to build a marriage relationship with a baby in the middle of all of that adjustment? How were they going to start a family with him in the Navy and away at sea part of the time?

Sure, I wanted to be a grandparent someday. Just not yet and not this way.

The next few months were a period of change and adjustment for all of us. It wasn’t easy.

One of the toughest adjustments was accepting that my son was stepping into both adulthood and fatherhood. He was barely out of high school. He still had two years remaining on his Navy enlistment. Suddenly he was no longer the boy, who it seemed like only yesterday I had been scolding for not cleaning his room, taking out the garbage and for denting a fender on the car.

A girl we barely knew was suddenly part of the family. We had to quickly develop a relationship with her. Like my son, she seemed so young. Was this girl really going to be the mother of my grandchild?

And then he was born. He was so tiny. I had forgotten how small a new baby is. The first time I held him I swear he smiled at me. I knew we were going to be buddies. They tell me he was too young to really smile. I know better. In that moment I caught a glimpse, in my mind’s eye, of all of the fishing trips, ball games and camp outs we were going to share.

Suddenly none of the would’ve, could’ve, should have’s counted for a thing. A new little innocent person, who had no say at all in the matter, had just been born. The only thing that mattered from that day forward was giving him everything that family love and support can possibly provide.

That is what we have been learning to do. Along the way I have picked up a few tips to share.

1. It is your child’s home, your child’s rules. A role reversal takes place. When your child establishes a home, you are a guest. The rules change. You are no longer in charge’ and you are sharing your child’s life in a new way. Respect that and be grateful for the opportunity.

2. Offer to give the parents a break. Babies and small children demand constant attention. This level of attention day after day and week after week is wearing on anyone. Offer to give your child and his or her spouse a break. Even a break of a few hours can be a very welcome gift.

3. Do not criticize. Your child and his or her partner are going to do things and say things that you wouldn’t do or say. They are going to make mistakes. Don’t criticize them for those mistakes. Your criticism will not be received well and will get in the way of your relationship. Besides, you’ve made plenty of mistakes of your own. They are entitled to theirs.

4. Offer advice only when asked. It is a funny thing about advice. The more you offer it, the less it is appreciated. The less you offer advice, the more it’s sought. That truism has never been more valid than dealing with an adult child.

5. The world has changed. The parenting styles and discipline techniques your children use may be different than those you employed. Most likely the techniques you used were different than those of your parents. You may not always agree with your children, but as long as everyone is safe from harm, with food and shelter, accept them. If you did a good job teaching your children your basic values, they will not stray far from them, regardless the techniques used.

6. Make time to be a grandparent. Most people I know that are my age live very hectic, busy lives. We are at the height of our careers. Most of us are healthy and very active. Time is a precious commodity. Most of us also spent so much time developing careers and supporting our lifestyles that we found our children were grown almost before we knew it. Arrange your life with time to be a grandparent. The rewards are greater than work and personal activities will ever be.

7. Share your grandchild’s world. Suddenly you are looking at a whole new round of ball games, school plays, scout meetings, graduations and the other events in your grandchild’s life. They are even more fun now than they were with your own children. Your grandchildren grow and change every day. There is a special pride in watching a grandchild develop and perform. These events are an excellent way to stay in touch with his or her developing personality.

8. Ask how you can help. Do not assume you know. Your child’s life, like yours has been, will be a series of challenges, success and failures. Let you child know that you are always there, willing to help. Don’t assume you know when and how to help. Your child will let you know when he or she needs your help.

9. Establish limits of help. Being a grandparent is special. It does not mean giving up your own life. If a parent is willing to provide unlimited assistance, it may become too easy for the child to take advantage of that. There should be limits of financial and personal assistance. Occasional babysitting is fun, for example. Providing a free daycare service may not be. Determine limits that are reasonable and comfortable for you and then discuss them with your child.

Becoming a grandparent is a very special time in life. In many ways it is more fun than being a parent. It is part-time. It is a second chance to do all of the things you meant to do or should have done with your children. The relationship with my grandchildren is more relaxed and easier than with my children. I may not have been ready when it happened, but I’m glad it did.

About the Author
Royce Armstrong is a grandparent and freelance writer featured at Happy Tulip Toys and Gifts for Grandchildren. This and other articles and tips about grandparenting can be found here.

by Caron B. Goode

Love, respect, and appreciation for music are easy to share with our children and build life skills at the same time. During the first years of our child’s life, musical skills build self-esteem and enhance expression. Musical rhythms spur motor development. Learning melodies and words stimulates listening capacity and help children develop receptive language. Specific areas of child development and learning are positively affected by exposure to and training in music. Preschoolers given piano and voice lessons, for example, have been found to improve dramatically in their ability to put together picture puzzles of animals. Playing the piano at the preschool age influences development of the cortex, the part of the brain used for thinking, talking, seeing, hearing, and creating. Music training contributes to the ability to learn or enhance mathematics skills.

Music clearly is a resource for living, growing, and learning and can be an integral part of our children’s growing experiences.

Exploring Sound, Rhythm, Melody and Music

Music is controlled movement of sound, in time.

Music is three basic components: Sound + Rhythm + Melody = Music

Sound
To help children understand music, it is helpful to look at each component separately. First there is sound, one that we make or one from another source. A few examples of sound are a bird chirping, a teakettle whistling, and a child banging on a pot with a spoon. If music were compared to a painting, sound would be the background color. In our bodies, sound corresponds with our central nervous system. A pleasant sound opens and expands us. It can energize or calm us. A shrieking sound puts our nerves on edge. Like the background in a painting, sound is the first step in creating music.

Here are some ways to explore sound with our children.

• Have your children listen to the sounds around them. How many different sounds can they find in the kitchen or backyard?

• Encourage children to be creative making sounds. Have them use their voices or household objects to make sound. Allow them to make pretty, irritating, or silly sounds. They are all music if they reflect creative exploration or honest feelings.

The purpose for creating sound is not necessarily to make *beautiful music* but to foster self-expression and open up our children’s ears to the world around them.

Rhythm
The second component of music is rhythm. Rhythm defines and organizes the sound through a beat. For example, is the whistling of the teakettle long and steady or short and choppy? Is the child’s banging on the pot fast and upbeat or smooth and slow? In a painting, the rhythm would be the overall movement or flow of the composition. When you first look at the painting, where do your eyes go? Is the painting easy to look at or is it busy and annoying? This is its rhythm.

In our bodies, rhythm corresponds to our own internal body rhythm-our pulse and breath. If the musical beat is quick and steady, our heartbeat and body movements will mirror it. If we are tired, listening to African drumming can kick our body back into gear. On the other hand, if a two-year-old is running around out of control, slow rhythmic music like Bach or Vivaldi restores inner calm and slows most children down. Explore and add rhythm to the sounds that children make.

• Have your children play with different beats: fast, slow, steady, and erratic.

• Have them practice listening to the different rhythms around them, like the water dripping from the faucet or the ticking of a clock.

• Ask them if they can feel the vibration of a musical beat in their bodies, and if so, where? How do the different rhythms feel in their body? How do their feet want to move with the different beats?

• Try hand clapping to the rhythm of a poem and foot tapping to a favorite piece of music. These activities are every child’s favorite, free entertainment.

Melody
Finally there is melody. Melody corresponds to our emotions. It gives sound and rhythm its feeling and sensual quality. It is the part of music that expresses the hills and valleys of an individual’s experience. It goes straight to our heart and feeling center. Melody can uplift our spirit, calm us during times of stress, or move us to tears. Returning to the painting metaphor, melody would be the overall feeling that the painting evokes as we look at it. Does the painting draw us in and create a feeling of peace, excitement, distress, or discomfort? Introducing melody to the earlier sounds and rhythms will help children learn self-expression.

• Have them hum a tune or create a melody, adding emotion to sound.

• Experiment expressing sounds that are emotional: happy, sad, funny, etc.

Melody turns a sound into a personal and unique statement. By playing with sound, rhythm and melody our children discover a new vocabulary and tool to use for expression when words are hard to find.

We can use creativity and imagination to choose different styles of music by which our children can express their feelings, relax, stimulate their minds or allow their creative juices to flow. A variety of selections, rhythms, tones, and melodies allows children to develop their own musical tastes and sparks their natural curiosity to explore the world of music on their own.

About the Author
Dr. Caron Goode is a parenting expert who speaks and writes about how parents can nurture their children’s gift. Go to http://www.InspiredParenting.net to order *Nurture Your Child’s Gift, Inspired Parenting,* and sign up for the online parenting magazine. To discover your personal parenting styles, click on the Four Tool Every Parent Needs.

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

“I love you” are three words all children need to hear often from their parents. Do you want those words to have real meaning to your child? Do you want them to connect one heart to another? Do you want to use these words to develop a level of intimacy in your family that communicates your heartfelt affection for your children? If so, consider strengthening I love you with the following suggestions.

1.) Use eye contact. Give your children your eyes when you say, “I love you.” Souls touch when meaningful eye contact is made during moments of intimacy. Touch with your eyes. It’s a way of connecting that helps you bond.

2.) Touch. A pat on the back, a hug, or a high-five will add meaning to verbal expressions of love. So will a slight squeeze of the shoulder or a kiss. Take your child’s hand in yours when you say, “I love you,” and add a tactile component to your words.

3.) Use names. The sweetest sound in any language is the sound of your own name. Names get our attention and build connectedness. Sadly, some children only hear their own names when they are in trouble. (“William, you better get in here!”) Add your child’s name to your expression of love. “I love you, Carlos,” or “Shingo, I really love you.” Watch their reactions. Their facial expressions will encourage you to continue the practice of adding your child’s name to “I love you.”

4.) Use the words son and daughter. These two words can add intense intimacy to your verbal expressions of love. “I love you, son” or “I love you, daughter” will create an emotion-filled statement that will invite an equally emotional response. Monitor your personal comfort level as you use these two important words. Notice your feelings as you say them, as well as the reaction you get from your children.

5.) Add nonverbal signals to your spoken message. Smile, wink, and add pleasant facial expressions to your words. Make sure the message on your face is congruent with the one coming out of your mouth.

6.) Do not use the word when as part of your vocal communication of love. “I love you when you smile like that” or “When you choose that happy mood, I love you” sends a message to your children that your love is conditional. What children often hear is “I only love you when….” To love unconditionally, say “I love you” without any condition attached.

7.) Remove the word but from your description of love. “I love you, but….” is usually followed by a concern, problem, or frustration. When we express our love along with a concern, we send a mixed message. When we do this, children get confused and conclude that the love part is a manipulation intended to soften them up before the real message is delivered.

8.) Add because you are loveable to your manner of expressing love. “I love you because you are loveable” is an important concept for children to learn. It helps them understand that your love is attached to no specific condition. It simply is. Be careful not to add any other words after because. “I love you because you are thoughtful” adds a condition that communicates conditional love. The only acceptable phrase to use with because is because you are loveable.

9.) Say “I love you” at unexpected times. Children often hear our expressions of love at familiar times. We typically say “I love you” when we are going out the door on our way to work. We say it when we end a phone conversation. “I love you” is often the last communication our children hear as we tuck them into bed at night. “I love you” at those times is often expected and certainly anticipated. To heighten the impact of these three valuable words, use them at unexpected times. Say them in the middle of a meal, as you are driving down the road in your car, or as you stand at the kitchen sink doing dishes together.

Some children are auditory and need to hear the words “I love you.” Others are tactile and need to be touched to feel loved. Still others are visual and need to see love on your face and in your actions. Why not give your children all three variations when you communicate your love?

About The Author
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: http://www.personalpowerpress.com.

by Angela Renee

The word mother and mothers day are simple, yet powerful little words that you hear all the time especially so around the time of mothers day when everyone seem to be scrambling for ideas to say thank you, you are surely loved and you are appreciated all over again.

But if you would just take time out, you would realize that useful hints were probably being dropped all alone and throughout the year. In fact, with that special day being only a few weeks away, some of your thoughts at this time can range anywhere from what are you going to do for your mother, spouse or other loved one to should it be a product gift or something more personal. If it is the product route, how can it be made more personalized? If it is the gift of time, how can it be made more personal?

Mothers Day for some will be welcomed with feelings of excitement while for others it may be a day of mixed feelings especially so if the mother you will honor has lost a child to tragedy. So that is why whenever you wish to honor someone in your own little way, you should consider where that person may be in their life and then the event. Many people say that it’s the thought that counts and yes that’s a very good point but so is too know a person and mother’s day is no exception.

To give you some examples, consider a single mother who’s been struggling to raise her children and doing it all alone in every sense of the word, what would make her day on mother’s day? What about a seventy-two year old mother who has raised her children but suddenly took on the new responsibilities of raising her grand children, what would she possibly want or deserve?

Sure a bouquet of flowers or some other last minute gift would be nice and probably get you off the hook but what would that mother really want to do for that special day? Would she want to spend her day filled with family and special friends or have a day of being responsibility free? If you were in that person’s shoes, which would you hope that someone would honor you with for mother’s day?

You see mothers day or any other day can be made more personal when you put some careful thought into your gift idea. What else would that mother enjoy? What has she wanted to do for a long time? What has she not gotten to experience in her lifetime? How can you really show her she is appreciated?

Even a gift that is accompanied with a carefully written letter or note with meaning can put a smile on a mother’s face! Yes, I know this will not work for all moms but that’s why in the article it says that YOU need to really know that person. So please just remember it really is the thought that counts especially when you did take some time out to put some thought into your mother’s day gift.

Oh, one last thing, I invite you to help every day become a Mother’s Day. By the way moms, it is ok to drop hints about how you would like to spend your special day and with hope, your spouse, partner, or other loved one will graciously honor your small request. After all, mother’s day on the calendar only comes once a year.

Copyright 2004 – 2005 Worlds Best Mothers Guide

About the Author
Hi, my name is Angela Renee a wife, a mother of three and an infopreneur that works to support all mothers especially those with newborns and pre-teens with every single aspect of their life as a woman, as a partner in a relationship, as a mother and so much more at www.worlds-best-mothers-guide.com.

by Armin Brott

For a lot of couples, the question about whether to have another child isn’t really a question, it’s a given. For others, though, the issue is more complicated. And most of the problems have to do with exactly what you’re going through in your home: one spouse wants a second (or third) child while the other isn’t nearly as excited about the prospect. Unfortunately, there’s no easy solution to this problem.

The time crunch is a common concern of prospective second-time parents. But it’s usually not the only thing they’re worried about. So sit down and make a list of other factors as well. You might want to start with these:

• Finances. Can you really afford to have another baby? If you answer No, does not having enough money really make a difference for you?
• Your own childhood. Were you an only child or did you have brothers and sisters? How did you like growing up that way?
• Ability to love more than one child. Are you worried that you won’t be able to love your second child as much as the first one? While this is an incredibly common worry, the simple answer is that your capacity to love your children–no matter how many you have–is infinite.
• Labor and delivery. Are you worried about putting your partner through another painful pregnancy and labor? Since she’s the one going through it, leave that decision to her. Consider, though, that while being a parent is exhausting enough, trying to be a parent while you’re pregnant is something altogether different. Is that OK for your partner or not?
• Your firstborn. Do you have a child with a difficult temperament? If so, keep in mind that your next child’s temperament may not exactly mirror your firstborn’s.

When you’ve put your list together and had a chance to think through each of your concerns, schedule a time to talk them over with your wife. You’ll probably find that even though she’s more gung-ho than you are right now, she shares many of them with you.

About the Author
Armin Brott, hailed by Time as “the superdad’s superdad,” has written or co-written six critically acclaimed books on fatherhood, including the newly released second edition of Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad’s Guide to the Second and Third Years. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men’s Health, The Washington Post among others. Armin is an experienced radio and TV guest, and has appeared on Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect. He’s the host of “Positive Parenting,” a weekly radio program in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com.

Are you a grandparent who has recently taken on more than a traditional grandparent role? If you have, you may be your grandchild’s guardian. No matter what the reason for your son or daughter being unable to care for their own child, it is now your responsibility to provide the love, support, and care of two people.

One of the biggest problems that guardian grandparents face is the uncertainty. After all, it is likely that some time has passed since you raised a child, especially an infant or a newborn. One of the best ways to go about successfully raising a grandchild, while keeping your head on straight, is by developing a plan. Having a plan in place for just about every situation imaginable will be able to provide you with much needed assistance and guidance.

If you are the guardian for your newborn or infant grandchild, it is important to re-familiarize yourself with the needs of this age group. For starters, you will want to focus on the proper medical care. Newborns and infants are often required to see their physicians on a monthly or bimonthly basis to undergo regular checkups and to receive all needed vaccinations. It will be your responsibility, as the grandparent guardian, to ensure that proper medical attention is sought. Before doing so, depending on your situation, you may need to make arrangements for health care payments, insurance, or other medical coverage.

Another one of the many plans that you will want to have in place, as a grandparent guardian, involves childcare. If you are caring for a newborn, infant, or toddler, you will need to make daily arrangements for them, especially if you are employed. Even if you intend to be a stay-at-home guardian or if your grandchild is school aged, you will still want to have a childcare plan in place. Every parent, even grandparent guardians, need to have breaks every now and then. Examining your options, in terms of childcare providers or other family members who would be willing to step up to the plate, can help to calm your nerves, should you ever have to leave your grandchild alone.

The above mentioned plans are just a few of the many that you will want to have in place, when taking on the role of a grandparent guardian. An additional step that you will want to take includes creating a budget for yourself. Raising a child will likely result in changes to your finances, but, if properly handled, this arrangement is one that should work successfully.