1. Don’t waste time buying a nice outfit for the hospital. After women give birth, they bleed (like a heavy period). I was much more comfortable in the hospital gown and those undergarments they give you to wear. It is so much easier.

2. There is a pretty good chance you may go number #2 while pushing the baby out! This certainly isn’t something to be embarrassed about, it happens naturally when you are bearing down.

3. Don’t plan on sleeping while you are in the hospital. Nurses are in and out at all hours. If you’re nursing the baby, they will bring her/him in to nurse, etc. Don’t be annoyed. Their job is to take care of you and your new little gift, let them.

4. You are charged for all the stuff that is under the baby in the hospital bassinet! I didn’t know this the first time. However, the second time around, I took everything I could, including diapers, blankets, nasal aspirator (AKA “The Boogie Sucker”), the water jug, etc. If I am paying for it, I am taking it!

5. You might be modest before you go into the hospital, but it is a good idea to shed it before you check in. Everyone comes to check your “Belly” every hour or so, no shame left at all! Don’t be embarrassed, they do this everyday. In addition, their job is to take care of you and your little one on the way, so let them!

6. Although things can get pretty uncomfortable, it all melts away once you see your baby. All the pain is worth it when you hear your baby’s first cry and hold them for the first time.

7. Try not to have expectations when you go into the hospital to deliver. Don’t have your mind set on having/not having an epidural, giving birth naturally, having a c-section, etc. Remember, it doesn’t matter how the baby gets here, as long as it’s healthy.

8. I wish I had known to tell friends not to come to the hospital – you are there such a short time and you need all the sleep and help from the nurses you can get!!!! You’ll have the rest of your lives to show off your new addition.

9. Use the nurses for all the knowledge that they have. Nurses do this everyday, all day. Therefore, use them for their knowledge. Ask them to show you how to correctly change the babies diaper, give them a bath and feed them. Even if this is not your first child, get a “refresher” course. If there is something that you forget to ask, call them!

10. If you are nursing, ask to meet with a lactation nurse. These nurses specialize in making both mommy and baby successful in breast-feeding. In addition, you may want to ask for some breast shields to take home with you. If you are not nursing, as the nurses the best way to help you feel comfortable when your milk comes in and drying up.

About the Author
Amy Cummings is currently a stay at home mom who takes care of her two daughters. Amy is a special education teacher by trade. She created the “Knot Me” which helps eliminate knots and bald spots from riding in the car seat or stroller. They are available at http://www.theknotme.com. In addition, Amy sells gourmet soy candles and soaps. Visit her website at http://www.soycandleshome.com.

A forward-thinking father wrote to me with a question about nudity. Specifically, he explained that when his wife is naked, his young children (a two-and-half-year old girl and 15-month old boy) don’t really notice much. Yet when he closed the door to the bathroom to shower, the kids want to get in and see what he’s all about. He wonders, “When should we draw the boundary in terms of modesty?”

Be Aware of Kids’ Curiosity
Marking the line on being naked in front of the kids is a very personal thing. The fact that the man’s wife is comfortable being unclothed around them is fine, especially at their ages. With his daughter, his wife shouldn’t really have concerns about being modest for quite some time, if ever. With his son, his wife doesn’t have to consider modesty until he shows a change in his view of her. This change involves consistent curiosity in his wife’s anatomy as opposed to total disinterest. For most boys, this may happen as soon as age three or as late as age six or seven, when a lot of boys become sexually curious in an innocent way. At school age, they start to hear things from their friends and may even compare their bodies to other kids.

Note the Differences Between Men and Women
For the father, it sounds like he tends to be a bit more modest to start. This happens with many men because nakedness is not necessarily built into fatherhood the way it is for a lot of women. It may have to do with the biological connection women have as a result of carrying, delivering, and often breastfeeding a child. We, as men, have also become more aware of ourselves in an age when we are hyper-vigilant so that we will never be seen as inappropropriate in any way around our children. At the dad’s kids’ ages, he shouldn’t have to go out of his way to not let them see him naked. They’re naturally curious and their curiosity can be appeased by not trying to hide from them. Conversely, he also doesn’t need to make a special effort to “show off his stuff.” As with his wife’s relationship with his son, the father might consider being more modest around his daughter, even as early as three years old. With his son, the situation is more flux, if not a non-issue.

Teach Basic Anatomy and Appropriateness
In both the father and mother’s cases, it’s probably best to not allow the children to touch their privates, even if they ask. They can tell them to check out their own parts, preferably in the privacy of their room or bathroom. At this age, it’s not necessary to break out the sex education speech, but they might need to answer basic biological questions about how pee comes out or how boys and girls are “outfitted” differently.

Modesty is an individual choice for the parent. One key to keep in mind is that we don’t want to teach our children to be embarrassed by their bodies. Staying clothed in public is important (though a naked baby at the pool or beach is generally acceptable), but nudity in private can be natural, particularly around the bathtime or morning when kids are changing into their day clothes.

About the Author
Gregory Keer is a writer, editor, teacher, and TV guest expert on the subject of parenting and fatherhood, in particular. Currently, he writes for magazines and Web publications that include Parenting, Parenthood.com, L.A. Parent, Bay Area Parent, Westchester Family, and Boston Parents’ Paper. He also reviews media for the Parents’ Choice Foundation (www.parentschoice.org) and appears on TV. In the recent past, he served as editor-in-chief of Los Angeles Family magazine and writer for GoCityKids.com. In addition, he teaches high-school English and has authored children’s books, music columns, and screenplays. He is married to Wendy Bass (a professor in early childhood education) and the father of two boys. He can be reached at gregory@familymanonline.com. Visit him online at www.familymanonline.com.