by Elizabeth Pantley author of The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

When your child is learning to use the potty should you give lots of applause and praise, or simple, matter-of-fact acceptance? Which is the right response for potty-training success? If you research this seemingly simple question you’ll get adamant advice on both ends of the spectrum. Some experts say you should give lots and lots of positive feedback, including a party-like atmosphere – with noisemakers, cake and party hats. Others say you should avoid getting overly excited or emotional and simply acknowledge that he’s done well.

The right answer is that the right answer is different for every parent and child pair. Some parents are naturally more enthusiastic about everything their child does whether it’s taking the first step, building a block tower or tinkling in the potty. Other parents tend to be more reserved.

Children need different things from their parents, too. Some children thrive on their parent’s energy and will do anything for a round of applause, other children are easily overwhelmed and prefer more subtle praise. Even two different children in the same family will respond better to different levels of enthusiasm.

Probably the best advice is to do what comes naturally and what seems to encourage your child to keep trying. What’s most important is that you want your child to know that you support him, and that you are proud of his efforts along the way, as well as his successes.

A reminder to be patient
This whole potty-training process takes time. You probably won’t feel confident to completely turn over your child’s toileting to him for many months. So, relax, be patient, and enjoy the journey. Children are only little for a very short time – it’s nice to enjoy and embrace every moment.

This article is an excerpt from The No-Cry Potty Training Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Child Say Good-Bye to Diapers

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

by Elizabeth Pantley author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007)

As if it isn’t challenging enough to raise children, most parents believe myths that make them feel confused and inadequate. These horrible myths can spoil the joy of raising your children. You may have never realized how intensely these beliefs affect you, but they do. After you identify the myths that color your daily life, learn the truth about each one. By acknowledging that these myths exist in your life, you take the first step towards eliminating them. Learning the truth will erase your doubts and leave you open to learning effective new ways of raising your children. Here are a few of the most common parenting myths:

MYTH: If a parent is truly attached and committed to a child, then that child will behave properly.

TRUTH: You could be totally committed to your child from the moment of birth. You could do absolutely everything right. In fact, you could be a magnificent, spectacular, utterly faultless saint, and your child would still misbehave. The truth is: ALL children misbehave. ALL children make mistakes. ALL children will have temper tantrums, whine and fuss. It’s part of the process of growing up.

REALITY CHECK: Love your child, and do the best you can. And don’t let normal misbehavior wear down your confidence. Give yourself and your child enough room to be human.

MYTH: If you love your child, and if your intentions are good, parenting will come naturally to you.

TRUTH: Loving your child is easy. Raising your child is hard. Effective parenting skills are learned. Parenting is complicated, intense, and ever-changing. In order to be a calm, effective, parent you need knowledge and skills, but almost no one is born with these skills.

REALITY CHECK: Just like driving a car, mastering a computer program, or becoming skilled at any sport or hobby – good parenting is something we need to learn. You can learn by trial-and-error – but that can be wildly frustrating. Instead, take a class, read a book, join a support group – you’ll be amazed to find that a few good tips can make your life much easier.

MYTH: You should read baby books and take a baby care class when you are a new parent, after that you’ll figure out how to raise your child on your own – through experience.

TRUTH: Taking care of a baby is our first step in the journey of parenthood. Just when we feel confident with our skills for raising babies, we turn around to find many of the things that we’ve learned do not apply to a walking, talking toddler. We adjust our approach, only to find that disrupted when our toddler turns into a preschooler, and again when he becomes a grade-schooler, and again when he enters the teen years . . . and yet again when our child graduates and moves on to college or adult life.

REALITY CHECK: We actually have a brand new parenting job each time our child passes from one milestone to another in his life. Just like any other undertaking, the more knowledge you have at each step of the way, the more confident you will feel and the easier your job will be, and the better your life-long relationship with your child.

MYTH: If parents are a perfectly matched couple, and they have a strong relationship, then they will agree about how to raise their children.

TRUTH: It’s very common for two parents, even those who are perfectly matched and in a happy relationship, to disagree about child-rearing approaches. Some may disagree about baby care issues, yet others will be perfectly in sync during the baby years and then find they are at odds when their child becomes school age or enters the teen years.

The way that we approach child-rearing is influenced by our own past experiences – both the things we choose to do, and the things we try to avoid. It is nearly impossible for two people to be in perfect agreement on every parenting decision.

REALITY CHECK: Even when we agree on basic fundamental parenting theory, we might slightly disagree on approach. Even if we agree on approach, our differing personalities guarantee that we won’t always handle things in exactly the same way. Good communication and ongoing discussion can help any couple to find agreement on important issues as they raise their children.

MYTH: Good parents don’t lose their patience and yell at their children.

TRUTH: Even the most peaceful easy-going parent loses patience and yells from time to time. No matter how much we love our children, they will try our patience, they will make mistakes, and they will make us mad. All children have their “naughty” moments. And, guess what? When children are “naughty”— parents lose their patience and <gasp> they YELL.

REALITY CHECK: It’s normal to lose your cool and yell at your children, but it isn’t fun and it isn’t productive. Take the time to learn a few new anger management skills and some parenting tools. These will help those angry moments become less intense and less frequent.

Take some time to think about these and other myths, theories, ideals and expectations that you have believed. Ponder where these beliefs originated, and why you believe them to be truth. Then contemplate what you learning about the truth of the matter. When you analyze myths and replace them with your own truth, it can help you to approach parenting in a more honest, uncluttered and enjoyable way.

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

By Danielle GoodnightFor today’s mother, methods for natural birth include so much more than Lamaze class! The Lamaze method of natural child birth is probably the most recognized name in methods for giving birth, but mothers-to-be wishing to prepare for a natural birth have so many programs to choose from. To find a great child birth class or teacher, you may have to look beyond the standard hospital class.

The secret to a satisfying and pleasant natural childbirth experience is preparation. When giving birth, many mothers seek drug relief for childbirth pain because they believe that natural birth means painful birth. What some women fail to realize and what most doctors won’t tell their patients is that when giving birth, women can reduce and control the discomforts of labor with natural techniques and methods that don’t involve drugs which may interfere with the natural process of labor and lead to multiple interventions. A childbirth class taught by an independent instructor is the best place to learn about the natural process of birth and the techniques and methods that will empower you in your journey through pregnancy and childbirth.

Second to Lamaze, the Bradley Method is probably the most recognized name in natural child birth. The Bradley Method is known as “husband coached childbirth”. It is likely that you can find a Bradley certified instructor in your area. Birthing From Within is a best selling book on natural childbirth that emphasizes self-knowledge, information and personal preparation rather than a specific method for natural childbirth. Birthing From Within classes are quickly gaining in popularity. Independent childbirth educators are certified by a variety of excellent organizations including Birth Works, ALACE, CAPPA, DONA and ICEA. Many childbirth educators are also doulas and are certified by the same organizations.

Another alternative in childbirth education is to use a self study program. Many parents-to-be like the camaraderie and shared experience of going through a class with other couples, but self study is a valid option for many. Using hypnosis for childbirth is a natural method that lends itself well to self study. Hynobabies, HypBirth and HypnoBirthing all offer self study programs. Mothers can also find hypnotherapists and/or doulas in their area who are certified in various childbirth hypnosis methods.

Any article on natural child birth would be incomplete without mentioning water birth. Water, sometimes referred to as “nature’s epidural” is a wonderful way to relieve the discomforts of labor. Many women labor and birth their babies under water. If water birth is an idea that appeals to you, find a doula or midwife who is comfortable and familiar with water birth. Waterbirth International is the best source for information and waterbirthing supplies.

Natural childbirth is a wonderful, safe and satisfying experience for mothers, babies and families. With adequate preparation and supportive labor assistance you will go through childbirth armed with knowledge and empowered to make the right choices for your birth, no matter what the circumstances. Most women who prepare for a natural childbirth, even if it becomes prudent to utilize certain medial interventions, are happy with their decision to be informed and educated about this most life transforming and life fulfilling event that we call birth.

About the Author
Danielle Goodnight is the mother of three boys. She has experienced childbirth differently every time, from the standard obstetrician attended medical model of birth, to a c-section, to a home birth with a midwife. She shares her natural mothering and attachment parenting experiences at http://www.mommythink.com/, a website for mamas with sharp minds, independent spirits and loving hearts.

by Dana Johnson, MSW

Think back for a moment to your childhood. What was your favorite thing to play? What did you pretend for hours on end? When parents are asked this question, almost without exception we discover that our favorite play scenarios were those we created out of our imaginations. We were mommies feeding babies, superheroes with a towel-turned-cape, explorers of our backyards. Grandparents often say they played with what little play materials they had. A simple cloth was a baby blanket, a parachute flyer, and a costume all in one.

Today’s children have toys far more detailed and sophisticated. However, a growing number of psychologists and child development specialists are advocating for a return to the “natural” play of yesteryear. Why? Because it requires imagination.

In this age of high-tech toys, children frequently push a button and are entertained by watching play happen, not by actively creating it themselves. The toys construction determines how it will be played with. The natural play that is thought to be more appropriate encourages children to create a play scenario out of their own imagination. Play materials are unstructured so the child must creatively “complete” the toy. Play materials are also multi-purpose, meaning that one toy can be turned into lots of different things. For example, blocks made of tree branches can be used to create unique structures not possible with traditional square blocks. Cloths and silks can be turned into capes, aprons, and rivers. Dolls with simple features allow the child to decide if the baby is laughing, crying or sleeping.

Recent research is supporting this more natural approach to play. There is some evidence that children who play with open-ended toys are better at solving divergent problems (problems where there is more than one answer). These children were shown to think beyond the objects in what we call “out-of-the-box” thinking.1

Many parents who practice natural or holistic parenting are taking the lead in bringing back this type of play to childhood. More and more parents are seeing the value of and true developmental need for free creative play. Many parents are now choosing unstructured toys made of natural materials over battery-operated plastic toys. And with new books such as Einstein Never Used Flash Cards, many parents are questioning the push for early academics and are enrolling their children in play-based preschools.

So, again, think about your favorite memories of playing as a child. Who were you? What did you become? The imagination that transformed you into someone else or into another place has proven again to truly be a cornerstone of childhood. It seems that although we have the technology to create high-tech toys, it’s the natural play with natural play things that truly inspires the magic that is childhood.

About the Authors
Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, PhD & Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, PhD, Einstein Never Used Flash Cards. (Rodale, 2003) 

Dana Johnson, MSW is a former children’s mental health therapist. She owns Three Sisters Toys specializing in natural, open-ended and Waldorf-inspired toys for children.

By Cheryl Tallman and Joan Ahlers

When shopping for your family, you should consider that per pound of body weight, babies consume about 60 times more fruits and vegetables than adults. This fact combined with undeveloped digestive and immune systems, put young children at the greatest health risk for pesticide residues. To minimize the effects, you might consider buying organic for those foods that your children eat regularly.

Produce: Pesticides levels vary in produce. Here is a list of common fruits and veggies that are high in pesticide residues*. Because of the naturally high levels, you might consider buying organic for these foods:

Apples
Bell peppers
Celery
Cherries
Grapes (imported)
Nectarines
Peaches
Pears
Potatoes
Red Raspberries
Spinach
Strawberries

On the flip side, these fruits and veggies are commonly found to have the lowest levels of pesticide residues*

Asparagus
Avocados
Bananas
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Corn (sweet)
Kiwi
Mangos
Onions
Papayas
Pineapples
Peas (sweet)
*Source: The Environmental Workers Union

As a new mother I’m sure that I do not need to be the one to tell you that there is no wrong moment to take a picture of your bright shiny beacon of joy, even when he or she isn’t all that joyous. However, there are times that are simply too special and too intimate to pass up as far as tempting photo opportunities go. The problem is that all too many of us feel that every photo opportunity needs to be staged. The truth of the matter is that unplanned tender moments often create the sweetest baby pictures you will ever have the pleasure of taking.

With this in mind, be sure that you keep your camera in a convenient location and that whenever it is not being used it is in that location. This will mean that you won’t lose those special moments while searching for your camera. Believe me I have lost plenty of great “Kodak” moments searching for the camera (this is especially true if older siblings and children are involved in those perfect picture moments that are so very rare). While I am by no means advocating total structure and rigidity in your life, the camera is a special tool that you will want convenient throughout most of your little one’s childhood.

When it comes to baby photos, there is absolutely nothing wrong with point and shoot photography. You can get the beautiful pictures you desire without having so many bells and whistles on your camera that you have difficulties figuring out which button actually snaps the shot. Believe me, I’ve been there when it comes to cameras and the simplest cameras in the hands of the untrained provide far superior results than a fully loaded camera with countless bells and whistles if you don’t know how to properly use them. Find a camera that you are confident of your abilities to use and let that be your camera. Beyond that my only real recommendation is digital if you can afford the investment as they provide you with the most options for sharing photos and not paying for the photos you aren’t happy with. Even more than that however, I’m an instant gratification kind of girl after waiting 9 months to see my baby’s beautiful face I don’t want to wait one hour let alone a few days for processing. Most of the digital cameras of today offer you the option of viewing your shot immediately.

Sneak attacks work best when attempting to capture those tender moments. Camera shy adults will shy away, turn away, or grimace and camera hogs will send out their cheesiest grins and poses. Sneak attacks allow for a more natural setting and a much more beautiful, unstaged baby photo that will look great in your baby photo album.

All in all, the most important things when it comes to capturing those tender baby moments in pictures is to take the photo of baby and whomever else may be included without either being aware, with a camera that you are comfortable with and can place your hands on before the moment is lost. There will be many moments that are special throughout your baby’s life so don’t despair of the moment passes before it is captured on film or disc. Just remember to keep a vigilant eye out for opportunities and seize them when they appear.

When it comes to taking photos your bright little bundle of joy there are a few simple things you should keep in mind in order to make sure your little star really is the center of attention—at least in the baby pictures. There is an old adage that is as appropriate in the world of taking baby pictures as it is in almost every other aspect in life. KISS. You heard correctly, keep it simple sweetie (sugar, silly, or insert “S” word of your preference here). The point is that keeping the setting for your photo of baby as simple as possible will bring all the focus on your darling rather than the ‘fussy’ background.

Sheets and bed linen make an excellent backdrop for babies of all ages. The simpler the better when it comes to this particular background selection. Other great backgrounds include uncluttered floors, carpets or rugs with uncomplicated patterns or better yet no patterns, and a clear blue cloudless sky (though clouds aren’t really that distracting in most instances). Sandy beaches also make an excellent backdrop or setting for a really cute baby picture and we all need at least one beach picture of our baby’s. Be sure to keep the sun at your back and away from the baby’s eyes for best results.

In addition to creating a setting that isn’t overly complicated for your photo of baby you should also make sure that your baby is comfortable in the setting. It doesn’t matter how perfect a setting is if your baby isn’t going to leave your side long enough to take a photo. Beaches are a good choice for many reasons. First you have an uncomplicated backdrop. Second you have the added benefit of a novelty (something that is interesting to touch, feel, play in, and unfortunately taste). Third, it offers its very own entertainment to your child. He or she will be distracted by the seashells, the sea gulls, the sand itself and in the process will worry less about the camera which makes for even better baby pictures. These photographs will be great entries for any baby photo contests you are considering.

If you can’t exactly enjoy a day at the beach in order to fill your baby photo album, perhaps you could combine some of the settings I mentioned above with a little creativity in order to create an excellent setting for your baby photos. If you have an old washtub and a rubber duck or two lying around the house, these make excellent choices for baby photos. You could hang a blue sheet or blanket as a back drop and let your little one sit in the wash tub with a duck in each hand. To make things interesting you can take different photos within the same setting by adding an umbrella for baby to enjoy or watching him or her try to climb into a rubber boot.

The most important thing to consider when creating the perfect setting for your baby photos is to choose a setting that is comfortable and fun for both you and your baby. The fact that we as mom think it will be fun for baby doesn’t always make that the case so always be willing to be flexible. It is better to have a photo of a happy baby rolling a ball on the carpet than a miserable baby in the cutest of settings.

While the term “organic” may seem cut and dry there are several shady areas of which consumers should be aware. In 2000 the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) established guidelines to make it easier for consumers to understand organic products on the market. Are you one of those people still not sure exactly what the labels are telling you? Not to worry you are not alone!

aThere are five labels you may see on your supermarket shelf. They include 100% organic, Organic, Made with Organic Ingredients, Free-range/Cage-free, and Natural. Pretty self-explanatory right? Maybe not as much as you would think….

100% Organic
This label on produce means the fruit or vegetable was grown completely WITHOUT synthetic fertilizers or pesticides. Meat or dairy products wearing this label ensures that all the USDA stipulations concerning hormones, feed, and time spent outdoors were met.

Organic
This type of produce or meat doesn’t meet the standards of products labeled “100% Organic”, however the majority of its ingredients have been approved for organic use by a nationwide certification organization called the National Organics Standards Board

Made With Organic Ingredients
Foods with this label let consumers be assured that the item is made with no less than 70% organic ingredients and rules.

Free-range/Cage-free
This is a term that can be used for poultry but not for eggs and is very unclear on the rules of time spent outdoors as well as the quality of feed. Poultry can be considered at different levels of organic quality and still be in this category.

Natural
This label can only be used for meat and poultry and states it was raised and sold using no artificial coloring, chemical preservatives, or ingredients. There’s no certification process that meat or poultry producers must comply with in order to place the term on their labels.

As the organic market grows you will begin to see more products on your supermarket shelf. Many experts hope that with the increase in products that the UDSA will become stricter on their qualifications and clearer so that the consumer can easily understand what they are buying and consuming.

There are horror stories in the newspapers and on TV every single day about different chemicals and substances that have been found to be harmful or bad for the environment. Now everybody knows the old adage of not believing everything you hear or read, but have you ever wondered what all of those long and complex words mean on the label of your cleaning product bottles?

The majority of them are harmful to the environment and can be harmful to your children, especially newborn babies. This is not just some scary story to try to encourage you to buy another product. A truth is that your current cleaning products are no more effective than homemade products that can be made in just a few moments with natural ingredients. In fact, those natural ingredients are often to be found in your home anyway. Lemon juice is a prime example.

You can protect your children and the environment by using the following recipes and tips to create your own cleaning solutions and save money at the same time!

• For an all-purpose cleaner, mix 125mls of pure soap with four litres of boiling water and stir well. Add 60mls of lemon juice to the solution and stir. Use the solution while it is still warm for an intensive clean. You can then bottle what is left over and use it as a spray.

• Baking soda is effective for cleaning carpets and scouring surfaces. To clean carpets, simply sprinkle baking soda over the area that you want to clean and leave it for an hour or so before vacuuming it up. This will bring any dirt and stain right out. For scouring, mix baking soda with an equal amount of pure soap and use a scrubbing brush. Baking soda is extremely effective for all sorts of household cleaning chores. It works as an oven cleaner and a bathroom cleaner when used with a damp sponge. It’s the one item that you must have at home for a cleaning solution!

• If you want to freshen the air in your home and introduce nice smells then adorn your home with plants. All air fresheners have a chemical component that coats you nasal passages instead of removing the existing smells. Plants do exactly the opposite and enhance your home as a result!

• Use vinegar to clean your windows. You literally only need a little vinegar to polish up the glass and remove lingering dirt. Vinegar also works to cut through greasy pots and pans and remove lingering stains on carpets. Lemon juice also works for these purposes but vinegar is slightly more efficient.

So there you have it! You can clean your home from top to bottom with household natural products and protect your children from the harmful effects of various chemicals at the same time, not to mention that you will save an awful lot of money this way!

Natural mommies are often already yoga fans before they become pregnant. Yoga is popular, because it helps you relax and deal with the stresses of life as well as making you strong and flexible. If you’re like most expectant moms, you probably find the extra hormones of pregnancy making you tense and irritable, not to mention the anxiety you may be feeling about the upcoming birth. Yoga can help reduce these negative vibes.

Natural childbirth training, such as Lamaze, relies heavily on breathing techniques, and so does yoga. Relaxation is also a major factor in both childbirth training and yoga. This makes prenatal yoga practice a great idea because it will support your childbirth training.

Your body changes throughout pregnancy in some ways that don’t show as well as ones that do. For instance, as you move into the second and third trimester, hormones begin to make your leg and hip joints limber up. Also, the added abdominal weight puts pressure on the blood vessels in your lower back so that you often can’t lie comfortably or safely on your back for very long during late pregnancy. These physical symptoms require you to avoid certain poses as pregnancy progresses.

Fortunately, many yoga positions are very helpful to your changing body. For instance, the pelvic tilting done in the cat stretch is good for your lower back and abdomen. Here’s how to do a cat stretch. Get on your hands and knees. Inhale deeply and slowly while lowering your chin to your chest. At the same time, arch your back like a cat. Hold a few seconds. Release your breath slowly and deliberately while letting your back drop down until it’s swayed like an old horse and your face is looking up. Repeat several times.

When doing yoga, always move slowly, relax into each position. Never bounce deeper into a stretch, and never stretch to the point of discomfort. Yoga should feel good.

Another stretch move that is good throughout pregnancy is squatting. If you are planning a home birth or a delivery in another setting that offers you freedom to choose your position, you may find that a deep, relaxed squat is the best position for you to give birth. In fact, it’s such a good position, it’s possible to deliver a baby too quickly and cause tears to the cervix or perineum if your pushes are not controlled.

To practice squatting, stand with your feet about shoulder width apart and lower yourself as far as you can. Don’t come up on your toes. Stay flat on your feet. You will feel the stretch in the thigh and knee joints. Don’t go so low it hurts. Practice a few seconds each day, increasing in depth and duration as you go. You may come to find this a comfortable position for doing tasks such as weeding the garden.

After birth, your body can benefit from yoga postures, too. The poses that stretch the neck and shoulders are good for those times you tense up from carrying the baby and from nursing in a cramped position. The poses that rock the pelvis will help you gain strength again in those hard working abs. Yes, yoga is a natural for moms before and after the birth.