by Elizabeth Pantley author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007)

Whether you’re on the phone, busy on your computer, or talking to another adult, it can be frustrating when your children constantly interrupt you. What’s surprising to learn is that they do it because they always get a response from you when they do! They’ve learned that you are willing to stop what you’re doing to answer them. Keep in mind that children are so focused on their own needs that they don’t realize that you have needs, too. They can learn how to pay more attention to other people’s needs as well as their own, which will help control these endless interruptions.

Give lessons and examples
Teach your children how to determine if something warrants an interruption, as they may have a hard time deciphering when interruptions are justified. Discuss examples of when it’s okay to interrupt, such as when someone is at the door, or if a sibling is hurt.

Coach proper manners
Teach your child how to wait for a pause in the conversation and to say, “Excuse me.” When she remembers to do this, respond positively. If the interruption is about something that should wait, politely inform your child of this.

Don’t answer the question.
Many parents admonish kids for interrupting, but in the same breath respond to the child’s interrupted request, which just reinforces the habit.

Watch your manners
Parents sometimes jump in so quickly to correct their child’s bad manners that they don’t realize that the way in which their correction is delivered is itself rude. Use your own good manners to model appropriate communication skills. Pause, look at your child, and say, “I’ll be with you in a minute.”

Teach “The Squeeze”
Tell your child that if she wants something when you are talking to another adult, she should gently squeeze your arm. You will then squeeze her hand to indicate that you know she is there and will be with her in a minute. At first, respond quickly so your child can see the success of this method. Over time you can wait longer, just give a gentle squeeze every few minutes to remind your child that you remember the request.

Create a busy-box
Put together a box of activities or games that can only be used when you are on the telephone, working at your desk, or talking with an adult. Occasionally refill it with new things or rotate the contents. Be firm about putting them away when you are done. Your child will be look forward to your next conversation, which will be interruption free!

Plan ahead
Before you make a phone call or have a visitor, let your child know what to expect. “I’m going to make a phone call. I’ll be a while, so let’s get your busy box ready to use while I’m on the phone.”

Give praise when deserved
Catching your child doing the right thing can be the best lesson of all. Praise your child for using good manners, for remembering to say “excuse me,” and for interrupting only for a valid reason.

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

by Elizabeth Pantley author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007)

Family life is complicated and unpredictable. Day-to-day expectations and responsibilities can create angry emotions in both parents and children. No matter how skilled you are at parenting, no matter how wonderful your children are, you cannot eliminate or avoid the unpleasant situations that occur in all families. However, once you understand where the anger comes from you can modify the situation and learn ways to control your reactions, so that anger can occupy a smaller place in your home.

Our children bring us incredible joy. Yet, there are times that they can bring out the anger in us. It is helpful to identify the things that provoke your anger so you can make positive changes in your household.

What sets you off?
Most parents get angry over issues that are insignificant in the grand scheme of life, yet happen on such a regular basis that they become blown out of proportion. Some of the most common parenting issues that trigger anger are whining, temper tantrums, sibling bickering, and non-cooperation. Determine which behaviors most bother you and set about making a plan to correct each problem that sets off your anger.

Notice your hot spots
In addition to triggers, there are “hot spots” in the day when anger more easily rises to the surface. These are typically times when family members are tired, hungry or stressed. These emotions leave us more vulnerable to anger. This can happen in the early morning, before naptime, before meals, or at bedtime. You may also encounter situations when misbehavior increases, and so does your anger: grocery shopping, playdates, or family visits, for example.

Set a plan
Determine if there are things you can do differently to ward off some of the issues that spark your anger. For example, if the morning rush brings stress, you can prepare things the night before: set out clothing, pack lunches, collect shoes. Then create a “morning poster” that outlines the daily routine step-by-step.

If you find that tempers are shorter in the hour before dinner, set out healthy appetizers, enlist the kids’ help in preparing dinner, get the kids involved in a craft activity, or plan an earlier meal time.

Doing things the way you’ve always done them and expecting different results only leaves you frustrated and angry. Instead, identify your anger triggers and take action to change things for the better.

Learn something new
Once you’ve identified a problem, consider several options for solving it. Jot down possible alternatives on paper, or talk it over with another adult. Read through a few parenting books and check the indexes for your topic. Visit an online parenting chat group or posting board. There’s no reason for you to make decisions in a vacuum – I guarantee that the problems you are dealing with are common and there are lots of sources for solutions.

Be flexible
Anger is not something that can be dealt with once and then will go away. Your children grow and change, and new issues appear. From time to time take a fresh look at the issues that create negative emotions in your family and take action to change things for the better.

Let love help
And, finally, at times of anger, hold on to the feeling of love that is the foundation of your relationship with your child. Take time every day to bask in the joy of being a parent. Take time to play, talk and listen. Hug, kiss and cuddle your child often. When you build up this foundation of positive love and emotions you will find yourself less likely to experience intense anger.

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

Do you really want to know? Some couples choose to find out if they are having a boy or a girl from the moment they get pregnant, others know ahead of time that they want to be surprised. Other couples disagree, or don’t decide until the second trimester, when they are lying on the table having their ultrasound done and the technician asks, “Do you want to know the sex?”

The gender of your baby has much more importance than whether or not you are having a boy or a girl. In some cultures it is very important for there to be a son, and couples will try to have a son first. Some families have seconds and thirds, and want to have a boy so that they will have a fourth. Some families have an uneven number of boys and girls, so they hope to get the sex they need to even out their family.

Finding out ahead of time whether or not you are having a boy or a girl, helps the parents who are planning on doing a nursery and buying their child’s entire wardrobe prior to the birth of their baby. Newborn clothes primarily come in blue for boys and pinks for girls, with the occasional greens and purples mixed in. If you don’t know the sex it might be difficult to buy clothes as the choices for unisex clothes in greens, reds, yellows and oranges can be hard to find. Likewise there are a lot of nursery theme choices that cater to boys and girls, but fewer that can work for either sex. For the well organized parents, finding out the sex of their baby well before birth is the best way for them to plan for the arrival.

However, some parents choose to enjoy the element of surprise. They want to wait until the birth when their baby is laid on their belly where they can look between the legs and see the sex for themselves, or have the midwife or doctor announce loudly, “It’s a ….!” These parents buy the unisex clothes, although may choose to save money so that they can go on a big shopping spree after the baby is born, and only buy the clothes they will need in the first couple of weeks after birth. These parents will also choose to decorate their nursery in colors and patterns that can be utilized for either a boy or a girl baby.

There is no right or wrong answer to the question, “Do you want to know?” It is a personal choice made by each individual couple. It is often common for the answer to change several times, before that big day

During a pregnancy, most of the attention reverts to the mother to be. She is the one who is sick, she is the one who gets the parties, she is the one with the doctor’s appointments, she generally gets all the questions, and the belly rubs. Dad can tend to feel very left out, which often leaves mom to feel like he doesn’t really care and doesn’t want to be involved. The truth is dads normally do want to be involved, they just don’t know what to do and need a little prodding from the mother-to-be.

There are several ways to involve the father in your new addition before the big arrival, starting with day one and finding out you are pregnant. Some women want to take the test with dad and celebrate immediately together. Others choose to take the test alone and tell the father after the results come in. If the dad is not with you, you can tell him in any number of exciting ways.

If it is around a holiday or his birthday, you get him a card from the baby. If you have other children you can have them meet him at the door wearing t-shirts that say, “I am going to be a big brother/big sister”. You can also go to the store and make a little gift bag with baby booties or a rattle and stick the pregnancy test in the bag to give to the dad-to-be over a special dinner out.

Once the dad-to-be knows of the pregnancy is when the fun begins. If he wants to, let him help decide how to tell the rest of the family, and his family in particular that there is a new addition on the way. Let him make the plans so that he feels involved in the decision. If you are sick and he wants to help, let him be there to rub your back, bring you ginger ale, and make you eggs, or whatever it is you can keep down. Try to schedule your doctors’ appointments at a time when he can attend as well, and encourage him to ask questions. While they eventually might be routine and boring for both of you, knowing that you are trying to accommodate his schedule will help him feel involved.

Discuss baby names with him, and listen to his opinions and feelings. Make sure he can go to all the ultrasounds, and discuss with him before hand if he wants to find out the sex of the baby. You don’t have to agree, but if there is a discussion he will know that you care about his feelings and what matters to him.

If family or friends are throwing you a baby shower, discuss with them either letting the father attend (assuming he wants to), or having a co-ed baby shower. If neither of these will work, get together with another male you know and consider throwing a “Men’s only” baby shower for your husband, inviting the male friends and family members that have children and know what to expect.

Let the father be involved when creating the baby registry, and put things on the registry that he wants for the baby, even if you think or know that it isn’t needed. Besides Lamaze or other childbirth classes you and the father-to-be take together, look into some classes specifically for dads either at the hospital or your local baby store. You can also look at classes for both of you dealing with newborns or infant basics, and make sure when you schedule them that the father-to-be can attend as well.

Tell the dad when you first start feeling the baby move, and let him lay his hand on your belly to try to feel the baby as well. Encourage him to talk to the baby and read to the belly, and if he is willing, let him give you massages and rub lotion on your belly. When it comes time to deliver, encourage the father to not only be by your side the entire time during delivery, but to stay in the hospital with you at night, sleeping on the pull out chair or couch that is provided so that he can be with the baby every minute that you are. Let him hold the baby, change diapers and bring the baby to you when the baby is crying. Also, have him accompany the baby to the nursery if the baby has to go for the various newborn hearing checks and blood draws.

Just a little effort on your part will help the father feel as involved in the pregnancy as you are, and who could argue that the back rubs and tummy massages aren’t one of the greatest things about being pregnant!

Birth plans have become the next “big thing” for pregnant women who decide that they want to maintain some control in the labor and delivery of their unborn child, as well as in the post-partum care both she and her baby receive in the hospital. Some people do not know how to create a birth plan, or why creating a birth plan is an important aspect of their pregnancy.

When a laboring woman arrives at the hospital, there can be limited time to get her feelings regarding how she wants her labor to progress across to the nurses on duty. Birth plans are generally written by the pregnant woman, sometimes with the assistance of her labor partner several weeks prior to delivery. It should then be taken to your doctor or midwife at one of your prenatal appointments to go over your wishes and make sure that your provider is aware of any concerns you might have.

Flexibility
One thing to keep in mind when creating your birth plan is to maintain flexible. Even if you have the textbook perfect labor and delivery, chances are that something in your birth plan will not be able to be accomplished or achieved. It might be because of your hospital, or it might be as simple as you originally saying that you do not want pain medication, just to change your mind half way through labor. If you remain flexible regarding what you wrote in your birth plan, the day of delivery will go much smoother.

Creating your Birth Plan
So how do you create a birth plan? You can use our customized birth plan creator, or you can create one from scratch. If you create one from scratch, be sure to remember to include everything that you deem important.

Pain Medication
When doing your birth plan be sure to mention your wishes on pain medication. Do you want pain medication or not? If you do want pain medication, how much and what kind do you want? If you want medication, do you want to have just a shot through your IV of something to just dull the pain a bit, or do you want an epidural which will go in your back and pretty much get rid of all pain and contractions that you feel? Do you want the doctor or midwife to suggest to you medication, or not mention it at all?

Episiotomy or Tearing
Also, when creating your birth plan, be sure to let everyone know what you will prefer when it comes to having an episiotomy. An episiotomy is when the doctor or midwife cuts the perineal area that goes from your vagina to your rectum an inch or two before the babies head comes out in order to help the head come out easier. Some women prefer to be cut; other women prefer to tear naturally. Many women’s activist groups these days are promoting tearing vs. no episiotomy because some women won’t tear at all, or only tear a tiny bit, making the healing time less painful than it would have been with an episiotomy.

Visitors
Let the nurses know in your birth plan who you want to be allowed in the room and when. Some women are fine with having everyone in at once, and others prefer to only have their birth partner, or have other visitors come in one at a time. You might want the interaction and distraction during the early stages of labor, but not want a bunch of people in the room towards the end. There are also times when you may not want your parent or an in-law in the room at all, but you do not want to be the bad guy. Buy writing these wishes down in your birth plan, it enables your nurse to tell people who can and can not go in and when, and also makes the nurse be the “bad guy” so you don’t have to concentrate on those issues when you should be concentrating on pushing your baby out.

Immediately After Birth
Assuming you have a vaginal birth, you should include in your birth plan your wishes for the baby immediately after birth. Some women will choose to bank their babies cord blood and will have that set up ahead of time. Others want to make sure the cord stops pulsating before it is cut, letting the baby get the remaining nutrients that are important for their health. If you are breastfeeding, you may want to be allowed to nurse immediately, vs. having to wait several minutes for your baby to get cleaned up a bit and get eye drops. Your baby is most alert in the 30 minutes or so right after birth so it is an important time for you to be able to nurse and bond.

Just incase a c-section becomes a necessity, you should list your wishes for the baby while they are finishing up your surgery, in your birth plan. Put down whether or not you want your baby accompanied at all times by your birth partner. Let them know ahead of time your wishes on them giving your baby a bottle of sugar water or formula while you are in recovery. Make it clear if you want your baby brought to you in recovery or if you want to wait till you get back to your room.

Postpartum Care
Part of your birth plan includes your post-partum care. Most hospitals support and encourage your baby staying in your room with you at all times, vs. going to the nursery at night or while you sleep. You can make it clear in your birth plan what your preference is. Whether or not you want to room-in, or if you just want your baby brought to you for feedings letting you rest as much as possible. You can also list whether or not you want your birth partner to be allowed to stay the night.

Feeding
In your birth plan you will list your intentions on feeding your baby. You can state whether or not you plan on breastfeeding, and if you do breastfeed how often and when you want to do it. That is important in the instance that you choose not to have your baby rooming in with you, but instead in the nursery. You should make it clear if you want to feed the baby on demand, when the baby is hungry, or if you prefer to feed the baby on your schedule, allowing the nurses in the nursery to give the baby formula when he gets hungry.

Miscellaneous
There are always other things you might think of when it comes to your hopes and wishes for a happy and healthy labor and birth. Things like taking pictures, video taping, having music playing, moving around, being allowed to take a bath or shower during labor, etc. If any of these things are important to you, or you can think of others, be sure to list them in your birth plan for the nurses and your doctor or midwife. Happy birthing!

 (For a printable version click here)

Date:

I _______________________________ am creating this birth plan prior to my labor in order to make my wishes clear to my doctor/midwife, and the nurses at the hospital where I am delivering. These are the items I consider important in the birth of my unborn baby and I would like them to be followed as closely as possible whenever able. I understand that a circumstance might come up where either I may change my mind or that my doctor/midwife may feels that it is in my best interest to deviate from my birth plan. I will be flexible, although I ask to be kept informed ahead of time of every aspect of my labor.

My name: ____________________________
My due date: __________________________
My provider’s name: _____________________
Provider’s number: ______________________
My partner’s name: ______________________
Refer to my baby as: _____________________
(baby’s name, son, daughter, your baby)

Pain Medication
When it comes to pain medication I request (check all that apply):

___ Shots through the IV of medication such as Demerol or Stadol
___ An epidural as soon as possible
___ Do not offer pain medication, let me ask for it if I need it
___ No medication at all, I want a drug free birth
___ Other: _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Episiotomies and Tearing
When it comes to delivery I prefer (check all that apply):

___ An episiotomy
___ To tear naturally
___ An episiotomy ONLY if necessary
___ Perineal massage
___ Pain medication for stitching up a tear or cut
___ Other: _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Visitors
When it comes to visitors during labor and deliver, I prefer (check all that apply):

___ Please allow all visitors to come and go as they please
___ I only want visitors during the early stages of labor
___ No visitors except for my birth partner
___ Do not allow these people: ______________________________
___ Other: _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Immediately After Delivery
Immediately after I deliver I prefer (check all that apply):

___ Please lay my baby on my chest immediately
___ Please clean up my baby before bringing him/her to me
___ We are donating/banking the cord blood
___ Please allow the cord to stop pulsating before cutting cord
___ Please allow my partner to cut the cord
___Please allow my partner to stay with the baby
___ Please allow me to breastfeed immediately before you take baby to be cleaned, get eye drops etc.
___ Other: _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________

C-Section
In the case where a c-section is necessary, I prefer the following (check all that apply):

___ Allow my partner to accompany baby to the nursery and stay with the baby at all times while I am being stitched up
___ Bring my baby to my recovery room as soon as possible so I may bond and attempt to nurse/feed
___ Wait till I get situated in my room before you bring me my baby
___ Do not give my baby sugar water or formula in the nursery whether it is through a dropper, or bottle
___ Go ahead and feed my baby in the nursery
___ Other: _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Postpartum Care
For my postpartum care, I prefer (check all that apply):

___ I want my baby to room in at all times
___ I would like my baby to go to the nursery at my request
___ Please administer all tests and medications to my baby in my room
___ Allow my partner to have access to the nursery and to be with the baby at all times when the baby is removed from my presence
___ I want my birth partner to be allowed to stay the night
___ I want family and friends, including other children to have free reign when it comes to visitation
___ Other: _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Feeding
When it comes to feeding my baby, I prefer (check all that apply):

___ I will be breastfeeding only
___ I will be breastfeeding and supplementing with formula
___ I will be formula feeding only
___ If in the nursery, bring my baby to me to feed on demand
___ Please feed my baby while in the nursery
___ Do not give my baby sugar water or formula in any situation whether via bottle, dropper or other method
___ Other: _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Miscellaneous
Other things that are important to me include (check all that apply):

___ I want to take pictures during labor/birth
___ I want to take video during labor/birth
___ I prefer to be able to eat/drink during labor
___ I want to have the freedom to move around until/unless I request pain medicine
___ I want to be able to take a bath or shower to relieve pain during labor
___ Other: _______________________________________________
________________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read my birth plan. Please keep me informed of anything that comes up during labor that might cause me to deviate from my birth plan.

Thanks,

___________________________
Sign your name

___________________________
Print your name

___________________________
Date

by Patty Hone

Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting would be easier if you didn’t have to make family decisions? Having a partner that is not in agreement with your parenting ideas or discipline approaches is more than just frustrating. It can be a cause of division in even the best of relationships. Furthermore, how you handle your disagreements will have a direct impact on your relationship with your partner and with your children.

It would be great if every couple agreed on everything but that is an unlikely event. One partner may have been raised in a relaxed environment; another may have been raised in a very strict home. What is acceptable by one partner may be appalling to another. It is important to discuss with your partner what your parenting objectives are. Decide what values are important to both of you. You will find that some things are more important to you than to your partner and vice versa. Here are some steps you can do to work towards resolving parenting disagreements.

1. Discuss your parenting objectives. What is important to both of you? Sit down with your partner and decide what values are most important. Also what areas are not as important?

    

2. Talk about where your children are developmentally and what they are capable of understanding. Sometimes the reasons for parenting disputes are because one partner thinks that a child is capable of understanding something and the other disagrees. Knowing what your child’s cognitive level is will help you to make better decisions. Do not compare your child to other children. You can use examples based on what they are capable of doing and not doing. For instance, if you ask them to get something out of their toy box, do they understand and go get it? If not expecting your child to be able to understand certain things may be unreasonable.

    

3. Find out what both of your parenting strengths and weaknesses are. Many times both parents want the same things for their kids. Compliment your partner on his/her strengths. Don’t just point out your partner’s flaws.

    

4. The majority of parenting disagreements are over discipline methods and when it is appropriate to discipline. One parent may think that spanking is the best method and the other may prefer time outs or something else. One of the most effective ways to resolve this issue is to talk about it. Find out the reasons why your partner feels the way he/she does. There are pros and cons to every form of parenting. Talk about why your partner thinks his/her discipline style is the better method. Sometimes talking about it will help you to see each other’s point of view.

    

5. If the discussion gets heated, agree to disagree. Fighting about how to parent is only going to make the situation worse. Walk away, take a break and discuss it when you are not angry.

    

6. Plan ahead. Discuss problem situations you are having with your children. For instance, if you are having a problem with your child having temper tantrums, discuss how you think this should be handled. If you have a plan in action, it will be easier for both of you to follow each other’s wishes.

    

7. Pick your battles. Some things you may never agree on. You don’t have to agree on everything. Find the issues that are most important to you and work on resolving those first.

    

8. Do not argue about parenting in front of your children. This is easier said than done. The best way to handle a situation you don’t agree with is not to interrupt but to wait till later and then discuss how you think it could have been handled differently.

    

9. Work on role modeling communication. If your children see that you communicate and problem solve together, they will grow up to do the same. Children often repeat patterns of their own parents. Look at your relationship and evaluate how you communicate. Is this the way you would like your children to communicate with their future partner?

    

10. Parenting and relationships are a growing process. The more you communicate the better parent/partner you will be. Learn from each other and listen to each other. Build on your parenting strengths and tackle your parenting weaknesses a little at a time. It won’t happen over night but if you continue to discuss things with your partner calmly and positively you will become better parenting partners.

About The Author
Patty Hone is a wife and mommy to three kids. She is also the owner of Justmommies.com. Justmommies is an online community for mommies to make friends and find support. Please visit Justmommies at http://www.justmommies.com. email@justmommies.com

by Colleen Langenfeld

“Mom, I’m bored!”

“Dad, play with me!!”

Sound familiar?

If you’re a parent, these plaintive cries from your children can become daily shouts. As busy moms and dads, we’re continuously torn by the demands on our time. Here are some simple ways to spend time with your kids while getting the jobs done that need to be done (including the toughest job of all, parenting). These Sneaky Fun ideas are also great ways to teach our children exactly how to successfully accomplish many routine tasks.

• Make a silly dinner together.
  Think ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ or try a picnic on the living room floor. Bring your child along for the meal planning, shopping, prep time and clean-up. Involve them each step of the way.

• Turn on the music and clean, clean, clean.
  Forget TELLING your kids to go clean; side-by-side, with some of their favorite music playing, move through the house dancing and cleaning. They’ll love it (and so will you).

• Exercise together.
  You know you need to do it. Your child is your perfect exercise partner. Make it a ‘talk and play’ time and you’ll both get fit together.

• Share a hobby.
  Love to fish, garden, sew, paint, sing? Share that love with your youngster. Try an interest that fascinates them. Learn a shared passion – together.

• Start a girls or boys night out.
  You will make an incredible impression with this one. Take your daughter out for regular manicures and lunch. Stay close to your son with a favorite concert or sporting event. Teach your children about wholesome entertainment and the joy of healthy relationships. You can even team up with another parent and child for regular fun; just make sure that honest conversation is the true priority.

• Improve their skills.
  Do you have a student struggling with homework? Quit nagging and ask them to teach YOU what they’ve learned. Be a patient listener. The fastest way to learn is often to teach.

• Wash the cars.
  Need I say more? Water, the chance to soak mom or dad, and a sense of accomplishment when it’s all done. Follow up with an ice cream cone for a job well done.

• Growing things.
  Countless gardeners have discovered deep satisfaction in sharing their love of growing things with children and grandchildren. Gardening is a useful de-stressing tool and the most frustrated child tends to loosen up and share their heart while getting their hands dirty alongside a trusted adult.

• Plan, plan, plan.
  If your household is anything like mine, it benefits greatly when I take the time to map out regular activities. Menu-planning, budgeting and vacationing come to mind, for starters. Show your child (of the appropriate age) how to use their time and money wisely by including them in the planning of everyday family activities. As they mature, they can easily be put in charge of some of these planning sessions, teaching them to younger siblings. Your trust and belief in your kids can ease the stress on them as they grow, too.

• Organize.
  Almost all families struggle with organization in some area. Truth be told, we’re simply busy people and have often outgrown the simplistic organizing methods that once worked just fine. Give your kids the opportunity to be the creative organizer in your family. Whether its making sense of the family photos or tackling the hall closet, do it with them to get the job done and make a memory that’s shared.

• Schedule the fun.
  Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Try scheduling a set time of fun in exchange for a set time of work. For example, Monday can be family board game night while Saturday morning sees the family hard at work in the yard. Sometimes it’s easier for kids to see the point when it’s a straight trade off of time and energy.

  The idea here is simple and clear. Use everyday activities to build relationships and teach responsibility. After all, everybody wins when ‘fun’ becomes a part of daily life!

About the Author
Colleen Langenfeld offers helpful resources to working moms. Make your life feel easier, healthier, smarter by reading our One Good Idea ezine. Start by visiting PaintedGold.com and clicking on the happy kids’ picture now!

by Van Day

Giving that special someone a special gift can be very difficult. Depending on the situation and occasion, it can be a very tricky thing. You want to do the right thing, but if you’re not careful, it can backfire. As many have found out, you need to give this some considerable thought.

But everyone wants to give the “right” gift. What makes up a great gift?

In my experience, a great gift:

• Is truly unique, personal and creative;
• Demonstrates to the recipient the thoughtfulness and caring that went into securing the gift;
• Evokes emotions from the recipient whenever it is used, seen or thought about; and
• Makes the recipient truly feel special.

A great gift doesn’t necessarily have to cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to be great. But also understand that getting a gift that is cheap can show how much “you don’t care.” Before you start to shop and buy, also consider the following:

1. Who is the recipient? Is it your spouse, significant other, sibling, parents, relative, close friends, neighbor or business associate?
2. Next, what is the occasion? Holiday, birthday, anniversary, graduation, wedding, engagement, promotion, a “just because” occasion, or “I-need-to-get-out-of- the-doghouse-occasion?”
3. Be yourself. The gift is from you, so make sure it shows it. But be appropriate, and be sure the gift is something that the recipient will relate to and enjoy.
4. Try to avoid excessiveness. Simple gifts tend to also be very well received.
5. Don’t wait until the last minute. It only gives you too little time to get a great gift, and also shows how much you don’t care.

Being creative is a fantastic way to ensure getting the right gift. People love it when it’s obvious their gift required some imagination and creativity. So as you’re going through the “what do I get them” process, remember that a little bit of creativity, uniqueness and personalization will go a long, long way!

The true measure of a great gift will be seen in the eyes of the recipient when they get it. You’ll know it, you’ll feel it, and you’ll feel great yourself when you’ve given the “Great Gift”!

About The Author
Van Day is a renowned pianist and musician, and creator of “Piano Music 4 You.com .” “Piano Music 4 You” specializes in creating personalized, custom and unique CDs of piano music, created especially for each customer and all occasions. He can be reached at vanday@pianomusic4you.com.  www.pianomusic4you.com.

by Danna Henderson

With 61% of children between the ages of birth and 6 years in daycare, it’s important that parents work closely with their child’s care professional while potty training. When you child is ready for potty training, the right potty training guidance and supplies can make all the difference.

Be Sure Your Child Is Ready – Before you begin potty training, make sure your child is ready. Your child should show the following signs of potty training readiness:

• Expresses an interest in the potty
• Tries to imitate family members
• Stays dry for two hours
• Express the need to go potty or indicates that he or she just has
• Able to pull pants up and down
• Irritated when diapers are wet
• Expresses interest in cotton underwear
• Has predictable bowel movements on a regular basis
• Diaper stays dry overnight

Introduce Potty Training
If your child is in daycare, he or she will probably notice that there are other children around who wear cotton underwear and use the potty. This kind of light peer pressure can motivate your child to want to use the potty as well. Start introducing the idea by watching a potty training book or video together. Be sure and tell your child’s daycare provider that you are beginning the potty training process. You child’s daycare provider can help by watching for signs of potty training readiness and answering questions from your child.

Discuss the Plan
When you begin potty training your child, discuss your plan with your child’s daycare worker. This person has probably potty trained many children and may have useful tips and tricks that he or she has found useful. Make sure your potty training methods are similar.

Set Potty Training Rules
Work together to set some basic potty training guidelines. For example, agree that neither of you will punish your child for accidents or that you’ll give stickers as rewards for using the potty. The potty training process will be easier for your child if both you and the child care worker are providing the same potty training guidance.

Progress Reports
Speak with the child care provider often to exchange progress reports. Both of you need to be aware of any successes or potential problems. If the daycare worker tells you that your child used the potty earlier that day, be sure and tell your child that that you heard about his or her success and that you are proud of him or her.

Copyright © 2004 ZIP Baby. All Rights Reserved.

Danna Henderson
ZIP Baby
101 Convention Center Drive, Ste 700
Las Vegas, NV 89109
www.zipbaby.com

About The Author
Danna Henderson started ZIP Baby in order to provide parents with comprehensive potty training information as well as a large variety of potty training products. For more information about potty training, visit the ZIP Baby Potty Training Store.