by Elizabeth Pantley author of The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007)

Children resort to aggressive behaviors because of a lack of wisdom and self-control. It is not a sign that a child is hateful or mean. Kids are human beings and human beings will get angry, we can’t prevent that. What we can do is teach our children how to handle their frustration and anger in appropriate ways. If your child uses these physical acts to express her feelings, use some of the following tips to change her behavior.

Intercede before it happens
Watch your child during playtime. When you see her becoming frustrated or angry – intervene. Coach her through the issue. Teach her what to do, or model what to say to her friend. Or if she seems too upset to learn, redirect her attention to another activity until her emotions level out.

Teach and explain
It’s one thing to tell a child what not to do or to step into an argument and solve it yourself. It’s another thing entirely to teach her what to do in advance of the next problem. This can be done through role-play, discussion, and reading a few children’s books about angry emotions.

Examine hidden causes
Is your child hungry, tired, sick, jealous, frustrated, bored or scared? If you can identify any feelings driving your child’s actions you can address those along with the aggressive behavior.

Give more attention to the injured party.
Often the child who hits gets so much attention that the action becomes a way of gaining the spotlight. Instead, give more attention to the child who was hurt. After a brief statement, “No hitting!” turn and give attention to the child who was wronged, “Come here and Mommy will give you a hug and read you a book.”

Teach positive physical touches.
Show your child how to hold hands during a walk or how to give a back rub or foot massage. Teach a few physical games, like tag or cat’s cradle. Under direct supervision, children who are more physical can gain a positive outlet for their physical energy.

Teach the clapping method
Tell a child to clap his hands whenever he feels an urge to hit. This gives him an immediate outlet for his emotions and helps him learn to keep his hands to himself. An alternate is to teach him to put his hands in his pockets when he feels like hitting. Reward with praise anytime you see he’s successful.

Give your child a time out
To use Time Out when a child acts out aggressively, immediately and gently take the child by the shoulders, look him in the eye and say, “No hurting others, time out.” Guide the child to a chair and tell him, “You may get up when you can play without hitting.” By telling him that he can get up when he’s ready, you let him know that he is responsible for controlling his own behavior. If the child gets up and hits again, say, “You are not ready to get up yet,” and direct him back to time out.

Avoid play hitting and wrestling
Young children who roughhouse with a parent or sibling during play time might then use these same actions during non-wrestling times. It can be hard for them to draw the line between the two. If you have a child who has trouble controlling his physical acts then avoid this kind of play.

Don’t lose control
When you see your child hurting another child it’s easy to get angry. This won’t teach your child what she needs to learn: how to control her emotions when others are making her mad. You are mad at her, so she’ll be watching how you handle your anger.

Don’t let your child watch violent TV or video games
Children can become immune to the impact of violence, and they may copy what they see depicted on the screen. Avoid viewing shows that portray aggression as an appropriate way of handling anger.

Don’t assume your child can figure it out
If your child comes to you about a difficult situation, don’t send him away for tattling. But don’t step in and handle it for him, either. View his call for help as an invitation to teach him important social skills.

Don’t focus on punishment
More than anything your child needs instructions on how to treat other human beings, particularly during moments of anger or frustration.
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

by Patti Teel

Getting your child to sleep is about much more than what happens once they get into bed. Here are some ways to establish a healthy bedtime routine each and every night:

• Make sure bedtime is at the same time every night. Children feel safe and are much more likely to be good sleepers when they have a consistent bedtime and a predictable bedtime routine. It helps ensure that they get enough sleep while giving their world a sense of order.

• On weekends, don’t vary bedtime for more than an hour each night. This creates a kind of “jet lag” in your child when Monday rolls around. If necessary, plan activities for weekend mornings so your child has a reason to get out of bed.

• Try to limit active play, television, video-game playing and computer time for an hour or two before bed.

• Tell your child five or ten minutes before their bedtime routine begins so they can finish what they are doing.

• Create a customized bedtime ritual that you and your child can participate in every night. Choose quiet, relaxing activities like telling stories, singing songs, stretching or saying prayers. For instance, your ritual may include telling a short story, singing a song and then saying a prayer. You can change the story, song and prayer but keep the order the same each night.

• Take care of your child’s physical needs so there’s no reason to get out of bed. Make sure he or she is wearing comfortable pajamas and has a favorite stuffed animal or blanket within reach. Some children like to have a glass of water by the bed, the door slightly open or a nightlight on.

• The air in your child’s room should be fairly cool – around sixty-five degrees Fahrenheit. If the air is particularly dry, use a vaporizer.

• If older brothers or sisters are allowed to stay up later, make sure they’re doing quiet activities that don’t disturb the younger sibling.

Leave your child’s room while they’re still awake so they can learn to settle themselves. If this is a problem for your child, practicing the Floppy Sleep Game exercises will systematically teach children to relax and fall asleep on their own.

About the author
Dubbed “The Dream Maker” by People magazine, Patti Teel is a former teacher and the author of The Floppy Sleep Game Book, which gives parents techniques to help their children relax or fall asleep. She is holding Dream Academy workshops at schools, hospitals, and libraries across the country where parents and children learn the playful relaxation techniques from her book and widely acclaimed children’s audio series. Children at the Dream Academy workshops practice the three R’s by resting their bodies, relaxing their minds, and refreshing their spirits. Visit her online at www.pattiteel.com.

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

When we think of giving gifts, we usually think of things to buy for people. Yet if you think back on gifts you’ve been given, it might not be the material gifts you received that are foremost in your mind – it might be the kind of gifts that deeply touched your heart and soul. It might be various ways, other than material things, that people expressed their love to you.

There are five gifts of love that we can give to our families that can make a huge difference in their lives.

The Gift of Caring and Compassion
We all yearn to feel cared for, yet many of us withhold caring and compassion for others. A profound gift we can give to our loved ones is to listen with our heart, to understand and accept rather than to judge, and to stay open to learning rather than to protect against being hurt.

Think about the last time someone actually listened to you and gave you understanding and acceptance. The feeling of being understood and accepted with caring and compassion is one of the best feelings in the world. Instead of focusing on getting this from others, why not focus on giving it to others? You might be surprised at how wonderful you feel in giving this gift to your family.

The Gift of Courage
One of the best gifts we can give our loved ones is our own courage. This means being having the courage to stand in our truth, to be honest about what we want and don’t want, what we will do and won’t do, what is and what is not acceptable to us. It means having the courage to take good care of ourselves, even if others don’t like it. It means not succumbing to our controlling behaviors that come from fear: anger, withdrawal, compliance, resistance, but instead being honest and above-board about ourselves. It means being willing to face conflict rather than give ourselves up to avoid it.

When we have the courage to face conflict and tell the truth, we not only provide our family with a role model for courage, but we provide opportunities for our loved ones to step up to the plate in the face of our truth and learn to be courageous too.

The Gift of Service
We are on this planet to learn to love ourselves and each other, and to help each other. One of the best gifts we can give our family is to role model this by doing service. Helping others fills the heart and soul in ways that nothing else can. If children do not see their parents doing service and helping others, they may never learn the great joy and fulfillment that comes from giving. One of the best gifts we can give to our family is to provide ways of doing service.

The Gift of Creativity
All of us are born with various ways of expressing our creativity. Expressing creativity is a profound way of connecting with Spirit, since expressed creativity is a direct expression of Spirit. Providing your family with many ways of expressing their creativity is a great gift. Creativity can be expressed in so many ways – cooking, crafts, building things, music, art, movement, telling stories, writing, humor, photography and video – the possibilities are endless! Creative family projects are especially wonderful in creating family closeness.

The Gift of Lightness of Being
Lightness of being – fun, joy, laughter, playfulness – is a great gift to give to others. Lightness of being is infectious – our laughter and playfulness can help others take life less seriously and “lighten up.”

Lightness of being is one the results of all the other gifts – of caring, courage, service and creativity. When we give these gifts, we feel a wonderful lightness within, the lightness that is the result of fully giving from the heart. Our own lightness of being can bring lightness into our whole family. Children love it when their parents are playful, funloving and joyful. Laughing together as a family is one of the most precious experiences in life.

We need to focus of giving these gifts each day, not just during a holiday season or special occasions. These gifts are far more important than any material thing we can buy for someone. In fact, we might not be so focused on material gifts if we frequently give the gift of love – of caring, compassion, courage, service, creativity, and lightness of being.

About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? She is the co-creator of a powerful healing process called Inner Bonding. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

by Katelyn Thomas

It’s been raining for a week and the kids and bored and restless. How do you cure those rainy day blahs? Try some of these parent tested and kid approved ideas and your children will be hoping for another rainy day when the sun finally peaks through.

1. Share a book. Pick an action packed, funny book and take turns reading aloud. Some great choices are My Brother Louis Measures Worms : And Other Louis Stories by Barbara Robinson, The Great Brain by John Fitzgerald or Amelia Bedelia by Peggy Parrish. For more great reads, check with your local library. Your librarian should have reading lists available.

2. Put on a play. Your children can write their own play and act it out or make paper bag puppets for additional fun. A great book for quick and easy skit ideas is The Skit Book: 101 Skits from Kids by Margaret Read MacDonald.

3. Go on an indoor picnic. Put out a blanket and pack a basket full of goodies. For a quick but special picnic lunch, jazz up ordinary sandwiches with cookie cutters in animal shapes.

4. Hold rainy day Olympics. Make the events things that can be done in the house, such as standing on one leg or seeing who can make his bed the fastest. Give the winners chocolate coins instead of medals.

5. Learn a new craft or hobby. Check your local library for instructional videos that will tell you how to knit, crochet or paint and buy enough supplies for everyone to give it a try. If you decide to learn to knit or crochet, your children can make scarves or blankets to donate to a local shelter.

6. Hold a fancy dress party. Put together a trunk of old cocktail dresses, suits, fancy hats, and costume jewelry. Have everyone dress up and give prizes for the most creative and fancy costumes.

7. Go on safari. Make an indoor tent by draping a blanket over a table or several chairs. Serve trail mix as a snack and provide binoculars for hunting wild animals. Then pull up a cushion and read Maurice Sendek’s Where the Wild Things Are or play a video or DVD about wild baby animals.

8. Get ready for a yard sale. Work with your children to clean out the attic, garage and bedrooms. Clean and price all the items and box them up by category so that you can quickly set up your sale on the next sunny weekend.

9. Have an indoor market. Buy snacks, activities, and other inexpensive items and set up a store table for each child. Provide market baskets and spare change so they can buy from each other and make sure you stop by the shops, too. For additional fun, let them keep their profits to restock their shops for the next rainy day.

10. Make portrait cookies. Buy a sugar cookie mix, a gingerbread cookie cutter, colored icing and sprinkles. Roll out the sugar cookies and help the kids cut out their people and then let them decorate the gingerbread men to look like themselves, friends and family. For additional fun, find dog or cat cookie cutters so your children can include the family pet.

About the Author
Katelyn Thomas is the editor of Cecil Child, an online parenting magazine filled with parenting articles and kids’ stories and games, as well as local resources for Cecil County residents. Visit Cecil Child at http://cecilchild.com for more family fun.

by Colleen Langenfeld

“Mom, I’m bored!”

“Dad, play with me!!”

Sound familiar?

If you’re a parent, these plaintive cries from your children can become daily shouts. As busy moms and dads, we’re continuously torn by the demands on our time. Here are some simple ways to spend time with your kids while getting the jobs done that need to be done (including the toughest job of all, parenting). These Sneaky Fun ideas are also great ways to teach our children exactly how to successfully accomplish many routine tasks.

• Make a silly dinner together.
  Think ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ or try a picnic on the living room floor. Bring your child along for the meal planning, shopping, prep time and clean-up. Involve them each step of the way.

• Turn on the music and clean, clean, clean.
  Forget TELLING your kids to go clean; side-by-side, with some of their favorite music playing, move through the house dancing and cleaning. They’ll love it (and so will you).

• Exercise together.
  You know you need to do it. Your child is your perfect exercise partner. Make it a ‘talk and play’ time and you’ll both get fit together.

• Share a hobby.
  Love to fish, garden, sew, paint, sing? Share that love with your youngster. Try an interest that fascinates them. Learn a shared passion – together.

• Start a girls or boys night out.
  You will make an incredible impression with this one. Take your daughter out for regular manicures and lunch. Stay close to your son with a favorite concert or sporting event. Teach your children about wholesome entertainment and the joy of healthy relationships. You can even team up with another parent and child for regular fun; just make sure that honest conversation is the true priority.

• Improve their skills.
  Do you have a student struggling with homework? Quit nagging and ask them to teach YOU what they’ve learned. Be a patient listener. The fastest way to learn is often to teach.

• Wash the cars.
  Need I say more? Water, the chance to soak mom or dad, and a sense of accomplishment when it’s all done. Follow up with an ice cream cone for a job well done.

• Growing things.
  Countless gardeners have discovered deep satisfaction in sharing their love of growing things with children and grandchildren. Gardening is a useful de-stressing tool and the most frustrated child tends to loosen up and share their heart while getting their hands dirty alongside a trusted adult.

• Plan, plan, plan.
  If your household is anything like mine, it benefits greatly when I take the time to map out regular activities. Menu-planning, budgeting and vacationing come to mind, for starters. Show your child (of the appropriate age) how to use their time and money wisely by including them in the planning of everyday family activities. As they mature, they can easily be put in charge of some of these planning sessions, teaching them to younger siblings. Your trust and belief in your kids can ease the stress on them as they grow, too.

• Organize.
  Almost all families struggle with organization in some area. Truth be told, we’re simply busy people and have often outgrown the simplistic organizing methods that once worked just fine. Give your kids the opportunity to be the creative organizer in your family. Whether its making sense of the family photos or tackling the hall closet, do it with them to get the job done and make a memory that’s shared.

• Schedule the fun.
  Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Try scheduling a set time of fun in exchange for a set time of work. For example, Monday can be family board game night while Saturday morning sees the family hard at work in the yard. Sometimes it’s easier for kids to see the point when it’s a straight trade off of time and energy.

  The idea here is simple and clear. Use everyday activities to build relationships and teach responsibility. After all, everybody wins when ‘fun’ becomes a part of daily life!

About the Author
Colleen Langenfeld offers helpful resources to working moms. Make your life feel easier, healthier, smarter by reading our One Good Idea ezine. Start by visiting PaintedGold.com and clicking on the happy kids’ picture now!

By Michell Muldoon

It Takes Initiative To Get Kids To Play

Play is a rare luxury for most kids in this country.
In today’s world, children live a life that is over-scheduled. Children go from school, to after-hours day care, sports, music and dance lessons or other types of after-school activities. There are also the very important extracurricular studies that are required in CCD classes, Bible school, Hebrew school lessons and church choirs. There are incredible experiences to be had in Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, YMCA programs and all sorts of other wonderful offerings that are available for kids. Although there is richness in these types of opportunities, what they are missing is simple, basic play. The kind of free-form play that helps children to negotiate other kids personalities, solve problems and develop tools to teach them something about the strength of their own inner character.

This type of knowledge is learned through personal interaction, exposure to the same groups of people, and the time to figure it out on their own. What has happened to personal time and core communities for kids is that it has become as extinct as the Dinosaurs we are so ready to haul them off to see at the local museums!

Sadly, there are also a tremendous amount of children who sit alone, without a parent or guardian present and no children to play with. There are working mothers who barely have enough time or money to put food on the table, let alone worry about a child’s need to play.

There is also another facet to this problem. And that is, we as parents want to be with our children, and to share in the amazing experiences that are available to them. But as wonderful and as stimulating as so many of these programs are, we need to give our children a time to play.

What I propose here is to have group playdates. To find a great group of people and create occasions to get together. This way children can have friends, and grown ups get the chance to socialize as well in an informal, casual way.

However, this proposition, although simple on paper, does require initiative and some coordination. Most of the women I know today are exhausted. We are working stressful jobs, managing our households and handling the details of our children’s lives. The constant running around is adding additional stress to our relationships with our significant others. We barely have enough time to think through the details of our own lives, let alone consider adding another level of stress to our days. However, childhood, which impacts our children’s lives down the road, is very much at stake here. That is why it is important to make an effort to create these occasions. And it is absolutely critical to make it a group effort.

About Initiative
The reason that FunPlayDates was started was so that we as mothers could insure our children’s play days. What we have found along the way is that many children have very few friends and that they spend their spare time sitting in front of a TV or a computer. This is an enormous waste. The initiative it takes to make a group playdate can be as simple as arranging a group picnic at the local playground or inviting some of the neighbors to do a group cookout. Ask everyone to bring their own lunch or something for the cookout and some outdoor toys or games. Even if the group has to take turns watching the kids, this type of effort will bring such simple joy to the kids.

This kind of get-together should always be simple. And if it is too much to try to call everyone or think up an invitation – make it easier on yourself by getting some great ideas from FunPlaydates.

FunPlayDates.com was designed to provide invitations, quick crafts from simple, household items, and great no-cook recipe tips to make the busy Mom look like she has time to cook! However you do it, the most important consideration here is that we make sure our children have a chance to experience the magic of play and the richness of a community.

About The Article
This information provided by www.funplaydates.com.

By Michell Muldoon

The Basics
Children today don’t really just “play” anymore. The main reason for this is that, sadly, our lives have become so ridiculously over-booked that even children’s play is relegated to the infrequent openings on family calendars. More importantly, spontaneous, innocent and adventurous play time is no longer a real option for most children. What has developed in the past 14 years or so to replace the magical wonder of play is now referred to as a “PlayDate.”

A PlayDate is a scheduled time period in which parents arrange for two or more children to play together for a few hours. Here are a few tips for parents to consider when making a PlayDate:

Use Some Good Old-Fashioned Common Sense

For Children Ages 2 to 3
When you invite a child of this age to your house, it is important to include the parent in the PlayDate. There are several reasons for doing this:

1. The guest child will probably feel extremely uncomfortable if his mother or father leaves.

    

2. As a parent, you will want to make your child feel comfortable socially and you will want to help them begin to learn how to develop those skills.

    

3. Sometimes small children can feel jealous if the host parent is too accommodating to the guest child. When you are the only parent present, you will have to be ready to help the children and to provide comfort if anyone’s feelings are hurt in any way.

    

4. Having a parent present at the PlayDate is a great way to learn more about the other family. You will have the chance to develop a new friendship and this will help both sets of children to see a “give and take” model for conversation, as well as for taking turns and sharing toys.

For Children Ages 4 to 5
When children are in the 3 to 5 year age group, a lot of changes happen for them socially. This is usually a time when these children begin Pre-School. Some parents feel comfortable leaving them at other people’s homes when they are in this Pre-School age group. But they are still very young and you will want to know the host parent well enough to make sure that the children will be comfortable and safely supervised.

Make a PlayDate and stay when you feel comfortable, then leave for a short time.

PlayDates are really wonderful for parents and for children, but there is a genuine concern when you begin to leave a child in someone’s home. It is always best to ask the guest parent if they have any concerns while their child is visiting in your home.

For best results:

1. Have parents stay for the playdate.

    

2. As a guest parent, if you need to run an errand, stay for most of the PlayDate. When you see that your child is visibly comfortable, let them know that you are going to “be right back” and slip out for a short time.

    

3. In this awkward period of social transition, if you are the host parent, be prepared for the guest parent to want to stay, even if you have pre-planned a time to do other things. This age group is very fragile and even the best of plans can go haywire. What is most important here is for the children to begin to feel comfortable with other people.

Important Considerations
Birth order really makes a big difference in the adaptability of children. When you are hosting a PlayDate, be aware of the guest child’s birth order. Generally speaking, an only child is probably going to be far more “clingy” than a middle child. And the parent of many may be much more relaxed than a parent of one or two. There are so many variables in the way a PlayDate can be handled. For overall best results, be open to sharing the fun!

Snacks
Always ask the guest parent if you can offer the guest child a snack during the PlayDate. As silly as this may seem, many parents do not believe in giving “Snacks” between meals. And many more do not want their children eating sweets or prepared calorie-rich foods without nutritional benefit. You will always be safe with vegetable sticks or fruit and a glass of water. Many parents today are not in favor of Juicy Boxes either because of the high sugar content.

Allergy Alerts
It’s also important to take allergies into consideration. Not only does this show that you are a very concerned parent, but it’s important to know if a child faces any potential dangers from contact with anything from peanut-butter to insect stings.

Elementary School Children: Ages 6 to 11
By the time your children are in Elementary School, there is a new pattern to their days. They are usually gone for a six to seven-hour period during the day. It’s very important for children to play, but in today’s world, after-school play is a luxury. Usually this happens in the form of Brownies or Boy/Girl Scouts. Of course, there are also sports programs, but they usually entail structured, non-exploratory play. The good old fashioned kind of non-structured running around with other kids really doesn’t happen as much as it used to. The bottom line: If you’re going to have play time, you must be prepared to take the initiative.

After-School PlayDates
For a lot of children, there is little or no after-school play time unless it is put onto calendars in the form of PlayDates. To make this happen, it’s best to plan ahead. Busy moms need a bit of lead-time. One of the best ways to make this happen, without the constant back-and-forth on the telephone or through e-mails, is to use the download invitations from FunPlayDates.

After-school play time can easily be planned if you use the FunPlayDates invitations or if you take the time to write a note and send it to school with your child.

Specify Time, Date of PlayDate and Phone Numbers
It’s important to be specific with regard to all contact numbers. This will make it easy to keep track of your child’s calendar and any vital information from both sets of parents. One busy mom I know has six children and keeps a social calendar for each of them right by the phone. At a quick glance, she can keep track of their busy schedules, including each of their PlayDates, times and contact numbers.

For best results:

1. Some parents will not allow an after-school PlayDate unless their child has done their homework. When inviting a child for an after-school PlayDate, let the host parent know they will need to finish their work before they play.

    

2. As a guest parent, always be prompt with your child’s pick-up times.

    

3. As a host parent, be aware of after-school PlayDate pick-up times. Usually, after-school PlayDates run parallel to high traffic patterns and a parent may be a bit late. This is always a potential problem, so accept this possibility when making an after-school PlayDate.

    

4. Make sure each parent has all the phone numbers needed in case of any emergencies or difficulties related to pick-up times.

    

5. For after-school snacks, keep it simple and natural.

Weekend PlayDates
Even Saturday and Sunday afternoon PlayDates have to be planned.

It’s the rare neighborhood where parents feel safe having their children go out and knock on a neighbor’s door to see if their children can come out to play. For most families, the high demands of our lives keep us from feeling spontaneous about people dropping by without an invitation. With all of our time going to so many different kinds of activities, it’s always best to plan ahead.

Once again, we must consider the success of a PlayDate often depends on making sure that there is adequate lead-time. This can save the host parent a lot of time and pressure by preparing to receive the guest parents into your home.

This is what you should consider:

1. Many families that have two working parents are not eager to have to get up early on a Saturday or Sunday morning, so it’s best to plan PlayDates for sometime in the afternoon.

    

2. Unless you know a family well, the guest parents will probably stay for at least 15 to 30 minutes when they drop their child off. This happens frequently, so be prepared for this possibility. After all, it’s their child they’re leaving, so they’re naturally going to be concerned. Be ready to offer them a light refreshment.

    

3. There are many aspects to PlayDates that you might want to think about before you leave your child in someone’s home. Some of these concerns include safety, watching TV, playing computer games and snacks. For most parents, not only is a PlayDate a social time, but it can also be a time to play outdoors and get exercise (weather permitting). Carefully survey the surroundings to see that you are comfortable leaving your child with this family. Don’t be afraid to ask the parent(s) if someone will be keeping an eye on the kids. And mention that you would prefer that your child not watch too much TV. You may also want to suggest that you reciprocate, with a PlayDate for their child in your home.

    

4. Always pick up your child at the specified time when the Play Date is to end. Have your child thank the host parent(s) and child. One way to make this a smooth transition to is practice with your own child before you go to the PlayDate. You will want to review the “thank you” and then tell your child to be ready to leave. It is very awkward for the host parent(s) to have to wait for you to leave, especially if they need to be other places or have other commitments.

    

5. Although this is optional, a Thank You note is always lovely. This is not necessary but will almost always be appreciated.

Potential Problems:

Reciprocal PlayDates
One of the problems that I have run across with the PlayDates is the issue of reciprocal play invitations. This is one of the most common complaints. What usually happens is a situation where your child likes another child and you find that you are always hosting the PlayDates for that relationship. Not only is this unfair, but there is really not very much you can do about it.

The only way that I have seen a turnaround occur, is if you very politely ask if it would be possible to have the other parent watch your child on a particular occasion. If they don’t repond to this request in a thoughtful way, then it is time for you to reassess that friendship.

Parenting Styles
When you begin to introduce your child to other families, you’re going to have to make some decisions about what kinds of friends you want to encourage your children to develop friendships with. Some people may do things in a completely different way than you would do them. In cases like this, you will have to decide whether you want to continue to have your children play together. Parenting styles would affect these kinds of decisions.

For instance: If you find that the mother of one of your children’s friends smokes continually, you may decide that you don’t want your child to be exposed to the smoke, so you may wish to discontinue the relationship. This is an extreme example, but there are many characteristics to parenting styles. Some of these styles run the gamut from extreme religious practices and strict punishments to the opposite: unstructured casual styles of parenting that include abrasive language, lack of supervision and older children who do not set a good example for the younger kids. There are also families who watch excessive amounts of TV or play computer games continuously.

The list is virtually endless. However, the bottom line is this: if you feel that your child is, in any way, learning something that you are not ready for them to learn, it is best to have that other child play at your house or to meet on some neutral ground, such as a Museum or playground.

When PlayDates look more Like Babysitting Than PlayDates
Sometimes you may have a mother ask you to have her child for a playdate while she has lunch with another friend. Even though this may seem offensive, it is a lovely gift to give someone else the chance to get out every now and then. By having her child over to your house, you are giving this mom a chance to get a much-needed break. Every mother needs one now and then. If you are the “babysitting” mom, it’s best to let the other mother know that you hope she has a good time and ask her if she could reciprocate this PlayDate for you sometime. More than likely, this situation can be a nice opportunity for both of you.

Admittedly, there are also mothers who might take advantage of this situation.

There is one other consideration here. That is the situation where you have all the kids at your house, all of the time, and the other mother does not want her “perfect house” to get messy, so she constantly encourages you to keep having the PlayDates at your house. This is one call that you’ll have to make for yourself. This is a value judgment, and the essential value that needs to be looked at is this: Are the children playing? As you think about this, you will want to ask yourself, who is this issue really about… the children playing or children not playing… or is it about the woman with the “perfect” house? If that’s the case, you must decide what works for you and for the children. If you feel taken advantage of, decline her request to watch her child.

Fighting Children
Sometimes children have disagreements during PlayDates. When there is no psychologist to jump in and make the appropriate suggestions on how to defuse an awkward moment, there is still something you can do to stop the kids from fighting.

Try to get the children to calm down and, to the best of their ability, describe the problem to you. Listen to both kids and make a decision based on what is objectively fair for both children. Be careful and sensitive to the guest child’s side of the story. Remember that this child is at a disadvantage, especially if the guest parent is not present to provide emotional support. The next best solution is to get them to play another game or to have them take a break and then change the focus of the activity.

When A Child Gets Hurt
This is such an unfortunate situation. This is also why it is very important to have all of the contact phone numbers you will need for a PlayDate. In this case, you will want to call the parents immediately and you will also want to care for the child that is hurt and probably frightened, as well. It is very essential to calm the child and do all that you can do to make them feel comfortable until their parents pick them up.

About The Article
This information provided by www.funplaydates.com.

by News Canada

(NC)—The first few years of a child’s life are full of new and exciting experiences that are absorbed like a sponge through the five senses: touch, taste, smell, sight and sound. From birth, newborns are bombarded with a busy world that they must learn to master. It is the senses that pave the way for a child’s development throughout his or her life.

“From birth, parents must choose toys and learning tools for their child that are fun and enjoyable to play with and that also foster sensorial growth to ensure a more complete development process,” says Dr. Kathleen Alfano, leading child Researcher and Director of the Fisher-Price Child Research Department.

A baby can start to develop hand-eye coordination, watch moving objects and be able to distinguish color and form within the first few months. Toys that will help develop these skills include the Peek-A-Blocks line from Fisher-Price – a creative and fun alternative to classic building blocks. Different series of these clear, stackable blocks are filled with everything from cute animals to fun shapes and foster the development of different senses. Touch Sensations blocks are made of different textures for baby to explore and Sound Sensations include blocks that ring and squeak.

Finding toys that will stimulate a few senses at a time are also helpful in sensory development, as a child will have to learn that in most situations, combining senses are crucial to perception. The Winnie The Pooh 1, 2, 3 Exploring Tree from Fisher-Price will keep a baby engaged and captivated from the time he/she can sit up to the time he/she can stand. Along the base, basic infant activities nurture hand-eye coordination, while Winnie The Pooh sits atop the tree among a flurry of soft, bright butterflies.

Introducing a baby to sounds, bright colors and action-based toys will make playtime more fun and enjoyable and is a good way to enhance a child’s creative abilities and imagination from an early age, teaching him/her to unlock the wonder and excitement of the world around them by simply making “sense” of it.

- News Canada

About The Author
News Canada provides a wide selection of current, ready-to-use copyright free news stories and ideas for Television, Print, Radio, and the Web. News Canada is a niche service in public relations, offering access to print, radio, television, and now the Internet media, with ready-to-use, editorial “fill” items. Monitoring and analysis are two more of our primary services. The service supplies access to the national media for marketers in the private, the public, and the not-for-profit sectors. Your corporate and product news, consumer tips and information are packaged in a variety of ready-to-use formats and are made available to every Canadian media organization including weekly and daily newspapers, cable and commercial television stations, radio stations, as well as the Web sites Canadians visit most often. Visit News Canada and learn more about the NC services.

by Alan M. Hess

Strange as it may sound, boredom promotes happier, creative kids who are better problem solvers. When children use their own creativity with unstructured play, they find ways to amuse themselves — even if it means simply daydreaming.

That’s the advice of child development expert, Alan M. Hess who wants to see American children spend more time in unstructured play, less time in structured activities and much less time in front of mindless TV programs. Hess states, “Plain and simple, it’s called creative child development. I recognize that in our society, it’s a hard concept for people to grasp at first.

“Many American parents who work 60 to 70 hours a week impose a very structured lifestyle on their children. They’re concerned about boredom, so they over schedule to keep kids busy. Believe it or not, there is a direct relationship between boredom and creative thought.”

Alan Hess, president of Safari Ltd., with its line of museum quality creative toys, is a noted authority and respected expert in developing creative play for children. Hess states, “Think back to when you were a kid and you will recall valuable lessons. Left to our own devices we discovered resources we didn’t know we had. I’m concerned that our busy, well-entertained children may not ever have the chance to learn them.”

Hess, states, “Although most of the products that I’ve been involved with are designed for children four and up, especially our current Safari line of products, I constantly study toddler trends. Several pediatric physicians, who are part of our research team, have shared some disturbing trends with me regarding middle and upper class parents who push their children to the extremes in the hopes that this will provide a better foundation for the child’s future.

“They’ve told me about situations where parents are determined to find the “perfect three year old” pre-school so that their daughter will be prepared for law school later in life. Other parents make their children compete in soccer matches and karate competition when the child is recovering from the flu. Their misguided reasoning is that the child needs to learn what competition means, regardless of illness, or circumstances. This thinking is insane.”

Hess firmly believes that children need time to be children. Creativity, social skills and fun are vital to a well-rounded child. He suggests that parents help children get the most out of unstructured play by limiting TV. Parents might also provide materials, creative toys and even gentle suggestions, if necessary. Parental guidance and parental participation is also important. Hess said, “Bored kids eventually take out the paints, build a dinosaur den, read a book … and create things, or they come home sweaty from a game of neighborhood soccer. Our educational, nature and science toys with a special focus on scale-model animal and dinosaur replicas are big favorites with children. They love the fantasy play and the fun of creating their own world.”

This concept of boredom is new territory at the beginning because children may be upset that they can’t watch TV. They may also bicker with their siblings. Hess states, “Working or single parent households may have even more of a challenge, but he strongly encourages parents not to give in and flip on the TV, or let kids watch a video.”

The lifelong benefits of unstructured play are so great that Hess urges parents to try to find an hour a week for it. And he offers these tips to make things easier:

Set Limits to TV and Video Play. There is something very wrong with the fact that many children watch an average of 38 hours per week. Cutting back can provide unstructured play time. Most parents and care takers passively allow the media to routinely expose kids to violence and sex when they would never let an individual, or educational institution expose their children to this type of content.

Far too many children spend hours each day at computers, playing with hand-held game devices, or watching videos. Hess suggests that parents set a firm daily limit to these activities. Hess says, “The value of a toy is simple to calculate…to what degree does the toy invite imagination and creativity? After a week, if you find that your child is more interested in playing with the toy box instead of the toy, you’ve wasted money and time.”

Unstructured play time doesn’t require a huge investment in new toys. Hess cites one focus group study where two boys were playing with toys. One girl had an electronically enhanced dinosaur and she boasted: “My dinosaur can say 500 words!” The other boy, who was holding a Safari dinosaur countered with: “My dino can say anything I want it to say and it looks like a real dino.”

Hess states, “We hear so much about hyperactive children who are medicated as a result of this behavior. Is the child really hyperactive, or does the child simply need more unstructured play time? Children are free spirits and when that’s denied, we see physical and mental manifestations that have a negative impact on a healthy childhood.

“Spend time watching your child play. This can show children that adults value their play,” Hess says. It’s not necessary to join in, although that’s great fun too, as long as parents don’t try to take over. In fact, one highly successful parenting strategy involves spending time each day with your child doing whatever he or she chooses to do.”

During this “special time,” the child makes the decisions, controls the flow of the play and assigns all roles. It’s unstructured play time for your child, yet you get to participate. It’s important for us to share time with children and it shows them that you value their play.

Hess encourages parents to give this boredom concept a serious try. He states, “Giving your children a break from organized activities and electronic baby-sitters could very well mean sentencing them to boredom, at least at first, but it will open up a whole new world of creativity, fun and adventure as it helps them expand their minds.”

About The Author
Alan Hess, president of Safari Ltd., has an extensive marketing background with a wide array of highly successful toy and hobby products. One of the key factors in his success is his understanding of child development research and his ability to apply that knowledge to product development.

by Shelley Ruiz

Nurture and Teach
The single most important thing caregivers can do for a child is provide a nurturing environment. By doing this, we influence children’s brain development and their ability to learn. Introducing nurtured children to learning opportunities every day will help them become happy, well-adjusted adults. In all stages of child development, each experience builds on the one before it. The most basic foundations can serve as the basis for the comprehension of more complex ideas in future years.

Learning Begins at Birth
We are born with billions of brain cells – in fact, all we will ever have. What is missing is a large amount of connections – synapses – between those brain cells. Synapses start developing based on a child’s experiences. Children’s brains develop faster from birth to age three than any other time; and more learning takes place during this time than any other. The more learning opportunities parents provide for their children from birth until school age, the more synapses are made. The connections will serve as a pool of knowledge for a child to access in later years.

Because children’s earliest experiences affect how they will think, learn and behave, helping children learn from birth to school age is a crucial activity. Parents and other caregivers can create a strong foundation for learning by providing a nurturing and rich learning environment from the very beginning.

Children Seek Learning Experiences
Not only do children need to be physically active, it is their nature to look for opportunities to learn. They participate in learning by using their senses and asking countless questions in order to more fully understand the task at hand.

Creating a Learning Environment
Children enjoy learning when they can master an activity. Begin with a simple task and expand or complicate it after your child has enjoyed some successes.

Create a safe and secure learning environment. This will help children do their best learning rather than distract them. Key to creating this environment is treating your child with respect and caring.

Where Do Children Learn?
Children learn everywhere from school to the doctor’s office to the grocery store. As do adults, children learn from interacting with others and watching their parents’ behavior. Kids are highly influenced by the people in their lives, especially adults who they are close to.

Not All Children Learn in the Same Way
In the book Frame of Mind, Howard Gardner described his theory of multiple intelligences. We all have a certain way we prefer to learn. The seven multiple intelligences Gardner points to are interpersonal, intrapersonal, bodily-kinesthetic, spatial, musical, logical-mathematical and linguistic. We have the most success teaching our children when we can recognize their style of learning (as well as our style of teaching) and incorporate activities accordingly.

Playing and Learning
The main way children collect and process information is through play. Play is the repetition that reinforces old skills and encourages new ones. Because play is enjoyable, children’s minds are open. Children are capable of much learning through play because they are very receptive and relaxed. Take advantage of this benefit and select activities that are fun and educational. Your children will learn, and you will both enjoy the experience.

About The Author
Shelley Ruiz is a homeschooling parent and the owner of Magic Lark Learning which provides parents and teachers with resources for making learning fun, including a free quarterly online journal of poems and stories for kids. anything@magiclarklearning.com.