Birth plans have become the next “big thing” for pregnant women who decide that they want to maintain some control in the labor and delivery of their unborn child, as well as in the post-partum care both she and her baby receive in the hospital. Some people do not know how to create a birth plan, or why creating a birth plan is an important aspect of their pregnancy.

When a laboring woman arrives at the hospital, there can be limited time to get her feelings regarding how she wants her labor to progress across to the nurses on duty. Birth plans are generally written by the pregnant woman, sometimes with the assistance of her labor partner several weeks prior to delivery. It should then be taken to your doctor or midwife at one of your prenatal appointments to go over your wishes and make sure that your provider is aware of any concerns you might have.

Flexibility
One thing to keep in mind when creating your birth plan is to maintain flexible. Even if you have the textbook perfect labor and delivery, chances are that something in your birth plan will not be able to be accomplished or achieved. It might be because of your hospital, or it might be as simple as you originally saying that you do not want pain medication, just to change your mind half way through labor. If you remain flexible regarding what you wrote in your birth plan, the day of delivery will go much smoother.

Creating your Birth Plan
So how do you create a birth plan? You can use our customized birth plan creator, or you can create one from scratch. If you create one from scratch, be sure to remember to include everything that you deem important.

Pain Medication
When doing your birth plan be sure to mention your wishes on pain medication. Do you want pain medication or not? If you do want pain medication, how much and what kind do you want? If you want medication, do you want to have just a shot through your IV of something to just dull the pain a bit, or do you want an epidural which will go in your back and pretty much get rid of all pain and contractions that you feel? Do you want the doctor or midwife to suggest to you medication, or not mention it at all?

Episiotomy or Tearing
Also, when creating your birth plan, be sure to let everyone know what you will prefer when it comes to having an episiotomy. An episiotomy is when the doctor or midwife cuts the perineal area that goes from your vagina to your rectum an inch or two before the babies head comes out in order to help the head come out easier. Some women prefer to be cut; other women prefer to tear naturally. Many women’s activist groups these days are promoting tearing vs. no episiotomy because some women won’t tear at all, or only tear a tiny bit, making the healing time less painful than it would have been with an episiotomy.

Visitors
Let the nurses know in your birth plan who you want to be allowed in the room and when. Some women are fine with having everyone in at once, and others prefer to only have their birth partner, or have other visitors come in one at a time. You might want the interaction and distraction during the early stages of labor, but not want a bunch of people in the room towards the end. There are also times when you may not want your parent or an in-law in the room at all, but you do not want to be the bad guy. Buy writing these wishes down in your birth plan, it enables your nurse to tell people who can and can not go in and when, and also makes the nurse be the “bad guy” so you don’t have to concentrate on those issues when you should be concentrating on pushing your baby out.

Immediately After Birth
Assuming you have a vaginal birth, you should include in your birth plan your wishes for the baby immediately after birth. Some women will choose to bank their babies cord blood and will have that set up ahead of time. Others want to make sure the cord stops pulsating before it is cut, letting the baby get the remaining nutrients that are important for their health. If you are breastfeeding, you may want to be allowed to nurse immediately, vs. having to wait several minutes for your baby to get cleaned up a bit and get eye drops. Your baby is most alert in the 30 minutes or so right after birth so it is an important time for you to be able to nurse and bond.

Just incase a c-section becomes a necessity, you should list your wishes for the baby while they are finishing up your surgery, in your birth plan. Put down whether or not you want your baby accompanied at all times by your birth partner. Let them know ahead of time your wishes on them giving your baby a bottle of sugar water or formula while you are in recovery. Make it clear if you want your baby brought to you in recovery or if you want to wait till you get back to your room.

Postpartum Care
Part of your birth plan includes your post-partum care. Most hospitals support and encourage your baby staying in your room with you at all times, vs. going to the nursery at night or while you sleep. You can make it clear in your birth plan what your preference is. Whether or not you want to room-in, or if you just want your baby brought to you for feedings letting you rest as much as possible. You can also list whether or not you want your birth partner to be allowed to stay the night.

Feeding
In your birth plan you will list your intentions on feeding your baby. You can state whether or not you plan on breastfeeding, and if you do breastfeed how often and when you want to do it. That is important in the instance that you choose not to have your baby rooming in with you, but instead in the nursery. You should make it clear if you want to feed the baby on demand, when the baby is hungry, or if you prefer to feed the baby on your schedule, allowing the nurses in the nursery to give the baby formula when he gets hungry.

Miscellaneous
There are always other things you might think of when it comes to your hopes and wishes for a happy and healthy labor and birth. Things like taking pictures, video taping, having music playing, moving around, being allowed to take a bath or shower during labor, etc. If any of these things are important to you, or you can think of others, be sure to list them in your birth plan for the nurses and your doctor or midwife. Happy birthing!

Most of us have heard of post-partum depression. Sometimes called baby blues, this is the depression that can affect women anytime during the first year after their new baby is born. The statistics show that 10-20% of women will experience some form of post-partum depression after their baby is born. Most of these cases are easily controlled by medication that can be prescribed by the mother’s doctor or midwife.

What About Antenatal Depression?
Antenatal depression is less widely known and is depression that some women feel while they are pregnant, and it is more common than we think, but not nearly as common as post-partum depression, and generally not as severe. It can appear during any trimester of the pregnancy and can last until after the baby is born. But what causes it?

Any number of things can contribute to a woman being depressed during pregnancy. Hormones can be a factor, and the pregnancy can often leave her feeling overwhelmed, and unable to handle things. A woman’s current life situation and/or stress level might also be a contributing factor to her depression.

What Are Some Signs of Antenatal Depression?
There are many signs of antenatal depression, so always ask your provider for help in dealing with any problems you may feel you re facing. Some women might find it hard to get excited about their pregnancy and their baby. They might feel disconnected or feel like it is someone else who is having the baby, not them. They may not be able to feel a bond with the baby growing inside of them, even as the baby starts to move and kick.These are all feelings that many women experience, and it is always best to talk about how you are feeling with someone you trust.

Some outward signs that family, friends and co-workers might notice are the mother’s stress level going up, and her lack of patience increasing as well. Small things that used to not bother her may now be causing tears, shouting, or temper tantrums. She may pick fights with her family and friends, she may yell more and get frustrated at her previous children, for things that shouldn’t matter, or become frustrated by things that those around her may not even notice.

How Can You Help?
If you are the mother-to-be, and you experience any od these feelings, you should talk to your doctor, explain what is going on, and ask what can be done about it. There are anti-depressant medications that can be taken while pregnant, which may help reduce your feelings of anxiety.

If you are a family member or friend, try to offer patience and support to the mother as she goes through this. If you aren’t sure she realizes it, ask her how she is feeling and suggest she talks to her doctor. If you attend her appointments with her, casually bring it up as a concern when you both talk with her doctor, and see if they have advice on what can be done. Let the doctor help the mother-to-be, as he or she may offer solutions to help the mother-to-be enjoy the experience of her pregnancy.

by Sara Duggan
MommieCare

Hello my name is Sara and I am the proud Mommie of 2 beautiful boys. I enjoy my job very much. I can say that now with much confidence, but there was a time that I couldn’t. There was a time that I despised being a Mommie. I can remember that just the touch of my children sent me into a rage. This made me feel very sad and empty. Although I had these negative feelings, somewhere deep inside of me I still wanted, with all my heart to be the Mommie I was meant to be to my two little boys. I didn’t know what was going on with me. I read up on Postpartum Depression prior to the birth of my boys but what I was going through did not match up to what I had read.

I thought I would be a little flighty, weepy, and sad, but I also thought that it would go away soon after it came. Another thing I didn’t know is that Postpartum Depression can happen anytime within the first year after the birth of your child. (I didn’t experience postpartum depression with my second child until about 3months postpartum.)

Many people, like myself, think they know what postpartum depression is but, unless you have lived it, you will never know. Most women experience the “baby blues” which is crying and a little mood swings. They usually occur anywhere between 3 days to 2 weeks after she has the baby. It soon subsides and she starts to feel like herself again.

Postpartum Depression is something completely different. It is like a deep hole that you sink into and can’t get out of. It is feeling like you are unworthy to be a mom or to be alive. It is feeling like everything you say and do is wrong. It is not being able to care for your hygiene needs or the needs of your baby. It is not being able to get out of bed in the morning; the afternoon, the evening, and pretty soon, you’re just not getting out of bed. It is thinking that your children/husband/partner will be better off without you in their life. It is wishing you did not have this baby to care for. It is feeling like running away. It is angry outbursts and loving caresses. It is not wanting to hold the baby, hear the baby, or love the baby.

Sometimes it is intense fear of going outside, paranoia, or fearing someone is trying to take your child away from you. It could also be overly obsessing over the cleanliness and health of you and your child, to the point where you do not feed or care for the both of you properly.

Sometimes someone may look like a “together” Mommie, doing all the “things” she is supposed to be doing, but on the inside she is a wreck about to explode. All of these and more go on inside the head of a Mommie experiencing Postpartum Depression. More than likely, she is not aware of these feelings or does not completely understand what is going on inside of her. Is it normal? Should she tell someone? What if they think she is crazy? Or worse, What if they think she is a bad Mommie and take her baby away?

It is wise to note that PPD can happen anywhere from 3 days after the baby is born to 1 year postpartum. A mom can do well for the first 5 or 6 months postpartum and fall into a deep depression. Also, if you have had PPD with previous pregnancies, there is a chance that you will have it in subsequent pregnancies. Make sure you let your care provider know if you have had PPD in the past and they can curtail the symptoms before they cause deep depression. There are medications available today that are safe to take while breastfeeding. So don’t let that keep you from taking care of you. After all, if you take care of you, you’ll be able to care for your baby!

Although this is a dark place, with help, the time you are in the “hole” is lessened with medication and talk therapy things can and will get better. PPD affects a lot more women than most are willing to admit. It is very normal. It is a sickness and needs to be treated right away at the first signs. For a preliminary test to see if you are risk for Postpartum Depression, visit http://postpartumstress.com/ppd_risk__assessment_during.html

It is also helpful for husbands/partners to read the questions because sometimes it is they who recognize the signs first. Contact your doctor or therapist when you feel these symptoms. Sometimes all you need is talk therapy and a support group. Other times medicine may be necessary to get your hormones to balance out. For help online go to http://www.ppdsupportpage.com

Another illness likely to appear after the birth of the baby is Postpartum Psychosis. (Andrea Yates is the most recent publicized case of Postpartum Psychosis recognizable by most American.) This is a very dangerous disorder. It can occur from 3 days to about 2 weeks postpartum. Its symptoms include paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU GET THE MOTHER TO A DOCTOR OR AN EMERGENCY ROOM. This is nothing to take lightly. She could harm herself or others, including her children.

Having said all this, I would like to add, that PPD is very treatable. The sooner it is noticed and treated the sooner the mom will feel better. You can get past it. You can see the light at the end of the “hole” and you can get out. I am an example of this.

One more thing before I close, most women, about 80%, have baby blues and they go away within 2 – 3 weeks. Some even experience a heightened time of awareness and clearness. They feel Good and Happy with Mommiehood.

Something that you may want to keep in mind when preparing for the birth of your child is a Postpartum Doula. What is a Postpartum Doula you may be asking? Well, it is someone specially trained to support, encourage, and educate the Mommie during her postpartum period. You can check out the National association of Postpartum Care Services NAPCS for recommended certified doulas.

A postpartum doula will provide the Mommie with physical support, emotional support and household support. Unlike the Baby nurse, who is there for the babies needs, a Postpartum Doula is there for the Mommie. However, Postpartum Doula’s do not diagnose medical conditions for the Mommie or the baby, but they will refer them to a healthcare provider. Postpartum Doula’s do not take over the care of the baby, but assists the Mommie, in learning to care for her and her baby’s needs. To better understand the differences between the “baby blues”, “Postpartum Depression” and Postpartum Psychosis, visit http://www.geocities.com/mommie_care/defineppd.html where you will find my Definition of Terms.

References for further Study:

Postpartum Education For Parents
Wings of Support
Center for Postpartum Adjustment
Just For Dads
Postpartum Recovery: Things to Know Before You Give Birth
Postpartum Depression and Breastfeeding
Depression After Delivery
California Postpartum Health Alliance
Mood Disorder Questionnaire
Building A Support System

Personal Stories:

Ruth Rhoden Craven (March 9, 1966 – December 5, 1999) – http://www.ppdsupport.org
Karen’s Story – http://www.bcrmh.com/womens_voices/karen.htm

Postpartum Doula’s:

DONA, Doula’s of North America:
CAPPA, Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association

About the Author:
Sara Duggan is the proud Mommie of Noah and Jonah. She is the wife of Terrence, her best friend. She owns MommieCare, a place for Mommies to turn to when they need information or products to enable them be the BEST they can be. She is a Volunteer Doula and plans on opening a Volunteer Postpartum Doula Practice in the Near Future. For more information visit http://www.geocities.com/mommie_care/index2.html – sara@raisingason.com

During your pregnancy you more than likely gained weight. The average amount most women are told to gain is between 25-35 pounds. If a woman is underweight it may be suggested that she gain more than 35 pounds. Likewise, if a woman is overweight it may be suggested that she gain less than 25 pounds. However much you gain, how do you take it off?

The weight that the average woman gains is broken down somewhat like this:

Now this is just an average as some women will have 5 pound babies and others will have 10 pound babies. Getting rid of this weight after the baby comes is where the hard part comes in. If the chart is accurate for you, then you can probably expect to leave the hospital just 15 pounds lighter than when you came in. This accounts for the baby weight, the amniotic fluid, the placenta and some of the blood volume. That leaves you 16-20 pounds to still lose. Some of these pounds will come off naturally during the immediate weeks following pregnancy. Others will take longer.

If you started the pregnancy overweight and only gained a few pounds then chances are you will leave the hospital weighing less than you did before you delivered your baby. This is a GREAT feeling. If you desire, and begin eating healthy then you can continue the downward loss after your baby is born.

Some women will gain more than the recommended amount of weight during there pregnancy. From bad nutritional choices and a possible sedentary lifestyle during pregnancy, some women will gain, 50-60 pounds. Occasionally a woman will gain 80 pounds during pregnancy. The excess weight is all fat and is much harder to lose.

If you want to try to take advantage of the “best diet” a woman will ever go on, and continue to lose weight there are things that you can do. After your baby is born remember to eat healthy. Try to stay away from the sweets and fats, and eat more of the good healthy foods like fruits, vegetables and lean meats. If you are breastfeeding you will need the calories to help produce breast milk so you do not want to go on a strict diet. Healthy eating will go along way. After your 6-8 week postpartum doctor’s appointment, when your doctor gives you the all clear, start a light work out program, reawakening, and reshaping your muscles. Exercise, along with a healthy diet have been proven to help with weight loss.

Also, remember to drink a lot of water. Water consumption helps clear your body of the toxins and helps flush out the fats. The old “rule” is eight glasses of water a day, however many experts now suggest that you should drink half of your body weight, in ounces of water each day. Therefore, if you weigh 140 pounds, you should drink a minimum of 70 ounces of water each day. This computes to approximately nine glasses of water each day. If you are 200 pounds you should drink 100 ounces of water a day, or 12 1/2 glasses of water. If you have a hard time drinking water there are now flavored powders that you add to your water and that can give it a great taste.

Before you start any weight loss program, you should be sure to check with your doctor to make sure it is safe for you.

Unlike the baby blues, postpartum depression is a severe form of depression that affects 10-20% of new mothers and at times new fathers after the birth of their baby. It may not easily pass, and in some cases medical intervention may be necessary. It can normally be diagnosed as early as one month postpartum, after the baby blues should have faded. A woman’s doctor or midwife can prescribe medications if needed.

Causes of PPD
Not all causes of postpartum depression have been identified but there are some ideas and known facts in the medically community. Postpartum depression might be caused by the following things:

• Anti-natal depression
• Low self esteem
• Childcare stress
• Prenatal anxiety
• Life stress
• Low social support
• Poor marital relationship
• History of previous depression
• Infant temperament problems/colic
• Maternity blues
• Single parent
• Low socioeconomic status
• Unplanned/unwanted pregnancy

There are other factors that may cause women to have postpartum depression. In many ways it is one of those situations where it is different for every woman.

Symptoms of PPD
Like the causes, the symptoms of postpartum depression vary widely. Some include:

• Anxiety
• Irritability
• Insomnia
• Feelings of guilt
• Difficulty concentrating
• Persistent weepiness or sadness

These are similar to the symptoms of the baby blues, however they are much more intense when connected to postpartum depression. If a woman feels these symptoms strongly after her baby is born she should visit her doctor to see if he can help.

Postpartum Psychosis
Extra severe cases of postpartum depression can be referred to as postpartum psychosis. Postpartum psychosis is very rare occurring in just 0.1-0.2% of women who have recently had a baby. Postpartum psychosis includes all of the severe symptoms of postpartum depression, but it can also often include the mother having hallucinations and delusions.

Treatment
The good news is that there is treatment available for postpartum depression and even postpartum psychosis. There are medicine’s that can be prescribed, including medicine that is safe for breastfeeding women to use. Your doctor might also recommend counseling. If postpartum psychosis is diagnosed within the first couple of days it is often possible to reverse the effects within a few weeks with medicine vs. it taking several months to cure, even with medication, if not diagnosed right away.

If you think you may be suffering from postpartum depression it is important to remember that you are not alone and that there is help out there. Be sure to make an appointment with your doctor to get help.

What is the one thing that women look forward to the most after their baby is born? Getting out of the limited selection of maternity clothes that they have available to them, and back into some of their favorite pre-pregnancy clothing. For some this can take a very long time.

It is very small percent of women that can walk out of the hospital wearing and outfit that they wore before they got pregnant. This is due to many factors that occur during the pregnancy. The woman’s starting pregnancy weight, the amount of weight that she gains, where she gains her weight, her physical fitness, and how she carries her baby can all contribute to how soon a new mother will fit back into her pre-pregnancy clothes.

The recommended average amount of weight gain during a pregnancy is 25-35 pounds. This is adjusted to reflect a woman’s weight when pregnancy begins. If a woman is underweight for her height her doctor might recommend that she gains a few extra pounds. If she is overweight her doctor might suggest that she not gain quite as much weight as what is recommended. If a woman starts out at a thin or average weight, it is likely that because of the weight she will gain and the places she will gain it (probably belly, butt, thighs), that she will not be able to slip right back into her pre-pregnancy clothing. Not only will getting back into pre-pregnancy clothes be a long time coming, but some women might even continue to look pregnancy for a month or two after giving birth.

Women generally gain weight in their butt and thighs, and this is no different during pregnancy. Not only do their hips spread making room for the uterus and baby, but many women pile up excess pounds on the lower half of their body. Because of this, even if a woman is lucky enough to lose her pregnancy belly immediately, it isn’t likely that she will fit back into her designer pre-pregnancy jeans anytime soon. Women who start off a pregnancy greatly overweight are likely not to gain much weight at all, and may never need maternity clothing. For those that do they will probably be able to fit back into their pre-pregnancy clothes very quickly.

Besides the extra padding a woman acquires on the bottom half of her body during pregnancy, she will also get bigger on top. In preparation of breastfeeding a woman’s breasts begin to grow immediately upon getting pregnant. Even if a woman chooses not to breastfeed, her breasts will still be larger throughout pregnancy and afterwards until her milk dries up. Because of this, many time shirts will not fit, or button up shirts will pucker when buttoned.

All hope is not gone. A woman can help increase the rate of how quickly she bounces back to her pre-pregnancy figure by taking care of her body during pregnancy. A woman who exercises and eats a healthy diet throughout pregnancy will have a healthier, stronger body after pregnancy. In many cases these women are back in their pre-pregnancy clothes immediately, or within a matter of a couple of weeks.

How you carried your baby also relates directly to how fast you are back in your pre-pregnancy clothes. Some women will carry their babies all out front. These are the women other pregnant women are jealous of because they have a cute, perky belly, and from the back do not look pregnant. While these women will still gain weight in the normal areas, carrying their baby out front often makes it look like they haven’t gained weight at all. When the baby is born and the woman’s uterus contracts her belly often looks like it went away overnight. While this woman may not be able to fit into her sexy, tight jeans, she can probably wear a looser pair of jeans, or other loose fitting pre-pregnancy clothing from before she got pregnant.

Some women carry their babies around their sides versus all out front. When this happens there is often time extra padding left over after the baby is born. This side padding will make it hard for a woman to fit into many pairs of jeans, shorts and skirts for several weeks after her pregnancy. Until the uterus shrinks and the skin tightens up, a woman may find herself grabbing the maternity clothes more often.

It isn’t hopeless by any means. Most of the time a new mom will eventually get back into those favorite pre-pregnancy jeans, and the nice dress to go out to dinner with her partner. For the rare few it will happened immediately, or within a couple of weeks of giving birth. For others it may take several months. If she is determined though, any woman can do it.

Most of us, except for the Canadian women, have to head back to work after 6-8 weeks with their new baby. The Canadian moms get a full year off, the lucky ducks! Regardless, for moms who work outside of the home, and choose to work outside of the home, going back to work after their baby is born is bound to bring a mix of emotions.

At two months old, the thought of leaving your newborn for 8-9 hours a day may seem daunting and heartbreaking. Some women have no choice; while others choose too go back to work, feeling like they will be a better parent if they are with other adults during the day. Either decision is a personal one and is right for the person making it.

Family Objections
Sometimes a woman will make a decision to return to work when she doesn’t financially have too. Or she will want to stay home when financially she needs to work. In these cases her spouse and other family members may not support her decision, causing problems and friction in the household. This can affect not only the adult members and the other children, but also your baby who can feel the frustrations, even if he can’t explain it. Try to quickly solve the arguments by weighing all the pros and cons and making the best decision for your family.

Daycare
Finding a place to take your baby when it is time for you to go back to work can be hard as well. In some areas of the country, there is a very long waiting list that you must get on when you get pregnant. There is also the issue of the cost of daycare, and whether you make enough money to make it worth paying for the day care. Then you have to choose what kind of daycare you want to put your new baby in.

In-Home Daycare
Private or in-home daycares are nice because there are a very small number of kids in a private house and in many cases your baby will get much more attention than they would in a bigger day care. In some cases you may find that your baby is the ONLY child in that providers care. If you go with an in-home daycare make sure you find one that is certified by your state and that you check out the records on that home ahead of time. State certified homes have certain standards that they must follow and are subject to drop in inspections at anytime, so you have a better chance of your baby being properly taken care of in that home than you would in an uncertified home.

Daycare Centers
There are pros and cons to daycare centers. They are state certified and follow the state standards closely. You will rarely have to question what your baby does all day as it will be spelled out for you. They are normally sanitized properly every night, food is regulated, and a schedule is closely followed. However, the rooms can often be overrun with children, and in some cases there will be one provider taking care of 6 or more newborns the same age as yours. Your baby’s needs may not be met as quickly.

Family/Friend
If you are extremely lucky then you have a family member or close friend who has offered to watch the baby for you while you work. This is the best situation because you know that the baby will have more quality one on one time and it will come from someone who generally cares about him, and isn’t just getting paid to watch him.

However you look at it, going back to work after you have a baby is incredibly hard on mom. Going from spending 24 hours a day with your new baby to only 15, where at least half of which you are asleep can be a huge adjustment. If you have to go back to work, finding a safe place for your baby to be can at least help you feel more comfortable about the whole situation, even if it doesn’t make it easier.

Unfortunately we are not talking about the blue of your baby’s eyes. We are referring to the mild form of sadness a mother may experience after she delivers her baby.

Also known as maternity blues or maternity baby blues, baby blues are very common and occur in as many as 75-80% of new mothers. It is not postpartum depression unless it is abnormally severe.

What Causes Baby Blues?
When the placenta is delivered after the baby is born the part of the body creating the hormones shuts down abruptly. This causes a woman to react as if she is going through withdrawals from the high levels of estrogen, progesterone and endorphins that she had during her pregnancy.

In addition to the changes in hormones there is the exhaustion that sets in, whether it is physical, mental, or emotional after the baby is born, as well as sleep depravation you probably feel that can contribute to the baby blues.

Symptoms of Baby Blues
Symptoms may include some of these:

• Weepiness and bursting into tears.
• Sudden mood swings.
• Anxious and hypersensitive to criticism.
• Low spirits and irritability.
• Poor concentration and indecisiveness.
• Feeling ‘unbonded’ with baby.
• Restless insomnia.

Baby Pinks
Another, less referred to and less known feeling a person may have after giving birth is call the baby pinks. This is referred to when a person is overly happy and exuberant. This can be a sign of impending postpartum depression or psychosis.

If you have recently had a baby and you feel a bit of sadness, call your doctor to talk to him about it. He can help you judge and decide if you are experiencing a simple form of the baby blues, or if there is something more serious going on.

When was the last time you got a complete night of sleep? Probably not during the last weeks of pregnancy, and more than likely you haven’t gotten at least eight uninterrupted hours since your baby has been born. During the first few weeks, if not months of your new baby’s life, sleep may become a distant memory.

When your baby is first born it is very likely that his days and nights will be mixed up. While in the womb the baby was rocked to sleep as you moved around, and was probably awake more at night while you were asleep. For the first few days or couple of weeks your baby might have trouble adjusting to your sleep/awake schedule.

If you are one of the lucky ones and your baby’s schedule isn’t totally messed up, he still probably won’t be sleeping all night. A baby’s stomach is very little and they can only eat enough generally to fill them up for a couple of hours at a time. It is likely that your baby will be up every 2-3 hours in order to eat. Many times your pediatrician will tell you to wake your baby up if he sleeps more than three hours. Just because it gets dark outside doesn’t mean that your baby doesn’t need to eat and you will still need to wake him up every 2-3 hours.

Because of your baby’s sleep schedule, you probably haven’t gotten much sleep yourself. It is easy to say, “Sleep when your baby sleeps”, but much harder to do it, especially if you have other kids, have work to do, or a house to take care of. Some women are lucky to get a nap in during the day while their baby sleeps, others don’t get to rest at all. When night time comes around you will find yourself cat napping around your newborns feeding schedule, not really getting adequate rest.

If at all possible, having the baby’s father help in the middle of the night is a great idea. Even if it is just having dad give the baby a bottle of expressed breast milk, or formula for one feeding so that you can sleep a 4-6 hour stretch, it may help how you feel and your mood greatly.

Issues like postpartum depression and exhaustion can come into play for you if you do not feel rested and you are not getting sleep. All these things can make you unhappy leading to sadness, frustration or anger. If you are stressed, it is likely your baby will feel it and be stressed as well. It is important to keep yourself feeling good so that everyone in the house will be relaxed and happy. After all, if mom isn’t happy, no one is happy.