by Susan Stump

“Where did he come up with that?” Kids often amaze us with their imaginative ideas, and we should give ourselves a pat on the back for playing a role in this development. Innovative thinking is essential for success in school and in life, and it’s our job as parents to nurture our kids’ innate desire to be creative. Inventive play fosters original thinking, an asset when children are confronted with new situations. By providing activities that use their creativity and imaginations, we are giving our children an important tool to deal with life down the road.

Give them ideas
Children come up with things to do on their own, but we also need to provide them with new ideas of interesting activities. Think back to what you did as a kid. Did you write a diary, create elaborate puppet shows, or sing and dance for relatives? Share ideas from your own childhood experiences. Offer creative writing ideas like writing an episode for a favorite television show or writing a new ending to a favorite story. Craft projects offer another outlet for inspiring imaginations. Craft kits, especially those from Curiosity Kits and ALEX, offer a wide variety of unusual and fun projects. They’ve brought us a long way from the sock puppets of our youth. These manufacturers offer ideas and supplies to make such things as scrapbooks, powerballs, soaps, candy, sun catchers, dolls, planes, dinosaurs, jewelry treasures, and lots of decorative items. Kids can gather ideas from the instructions, and then give the projects their own unique touches.

Keep ideas fresh
Pick up any parenting magazine and you’ll find lots of ideas to get those creative juices flowing in your kids. Search the web and check out craft stores. Keep a journal or file for magazine clippings and ideas as you find them. Stockpile so that you’ll know how to answer the whiny “I’m bored” call from your kids.

Give them freedom
Once you’ve given your kids some suggestions and supplies, step back and see which they choose and where they go with them. This unstructured play time gives kids an opportunity to stretch their creative muscles. Watch as they incorporate your ideas and branch out on their own.

Set an example
Chances are, if you are a creative person, your child will be too. You display creativity in your everyday activities like when you reason with a disgruntled child, change lyrics to songs, and maybe even do some interpretive dancing to entertain a toddler. Your children see your silliness and it rubs off on them. You surely use creativity to juggle your and your family’s schedules. It’s a great idea to point out to your kids how you use creativity in your daily life.

As parents, we always try to do the very best for our kids and provide opportunities that will help them mature into intelligent, capable adults. Nurturing their creative spirits helps them along this road. With their well-developed imaginations, maybe they’ll turn it into a yellow brick, pink polka-dotted road with sparkles!

About The Author
Susan Stump is the mother of two children and the owner of ChildCrafter, Co. – Craft Kits and Subscriptions that Inspire a Child’s Imagination. This work-at-home-mom offers a great selection of creative craft kits from ALEX, Quincrafts, and Curiosity Kits from her catalog and website www.childcrafter.com. Email her at childcrafter@yahoo.com.

By Deanna Mascle

You want to raise a reader. That much you know. But how? That’s the $20,000 question. You could probably spend that $20,000 on how-to books for you, readers for your child, flash cards and other accessories, and specialized reading programs promoting every possible avenue to full literacy.

You could, but you don’t have to do all that. The facts are simple. Between 80-85 percent of children learn to read by the middle of first grade and most of those children will learn without the benefit of fancy reading programs and books. Many of those children will learn to read as the result of simple preliteracy activities they encountered at home and/or school.

In fact, studies show that starting early is not necessary and could do more harm than good. Formal reading instruction, especially if introduced too early and if focused on “skill and drill,” can actually interfere with emergent literacy. However there are things you can do before you get to that point–and these activities are fun and can lay a strong early literacy foundation to make it easier for your child to learn to read later on.

As a basic foundation for learning to read and write, kids need strong speaking and listening skills. When you and other adults around your kids encourage them to talk, ask questions, and use dramatic play, it increases their vocabulary, allows them to hear and practice building sentences, and gives them more knowledge to understand spoken and written language.

Simply reading, talking, and listening to a young child in a warm and positive environment at every opportunity are among the most important things you can do.

There are three skill areas that form the foundation for reading. Kids who develop strong skills in these areas have greater success learning to read: Print Knowledge, Literacy Awareness, and Language Understanding.

Print knowledge is simply the understanding that print (letters, words, symbols, and printed media such as books and signs) carries a message. This encompasses learning that people read text rather than pictures and the correct way to read a book or page (right side up, left to right, top to bottom).

Literacy awareness encompasses a child’s first efforts to use print in a meaningful way. This includes recognizing letters and groupings of letters (the child recognizes his or her name or the name of a store) and attempts to write letters and words such as his or her name.

Language understanding is just that-understanding how language works. This includes being able to sound out individual letters in a word and counting the words in a spoken sentence.

Children develop these skills by having many early experiences with language, books, and print. They can have these experiences as part of everyday life, through play, conversation, and a wide range of activities. Young children use play and talk as a way to expand, explore, and make sense of their world. When kids talk about daily tasks and special events, tell stories, sing songs, and scribble, they are laying the groundwork for reading and writing.

The primary reason many children struggle with learning to read is because they simply do not have enough experiences with language, books, and print. They need more time at home and in their early childhood programs devoted to helping them develop the skills that lead to reading. A lack of developmentally appropriate skill-building at an early age can significantly limit the reading and writing level a child attains.

Becoming literate
Becoming a literate person is something that every human begins almost from birth. In essence, we are actually programmed to become literate. However, that does not mean the path to literacy is smooth and easy.

While the progression to literacy is a natural evolution we are all programmed to follow, literacy does not occur in a vacuum. Literacy emerges in individuals only when they are immersed in a community of literacy. Interactions such as sharing a picture book, telling a story, and talking about experiences are central to emergent literacy.

Most parents are aware of the importance of reading to their child, but it is so important that it cannot be emphasized enough. According to the Partnership for Reading, a project administered by the National Institute for Literacy, “Reading aloud to children has been called the single most important activity for building the knowledge required for success in reading.”

Typically, parents play an important role in developing this skill by reading to children and showing how important reading is to their daily life. Find time to read aloud with your child every day. Lap time with picture books and stories can strongly motivate your child to enjoy reading.

Studies focusing on parents of successful readers found that they do more than simply read to their children. They also engage in specific strategies, which maximize the reading experience. These strategies are actually fairly simple: talk about the book with your child before reading it; read aloud using an enthusiastic voice; and let your child ask questions about the book. Parents can also encourage their child to “read” the story back to them (especially if it is a favorite that has been read many times to the child) and/or share fun variations of the story.

However, while this is significant, this is not the only way your child learns. Knowledge is constructed as a result of dynamic interactions between the individual and the physical and social environments. In a sense the child discovers knowledge through active experimentation. Try to make books available for your child to explore and enjoy on their own as well as with you.

It is important to remember that literacy is much broader than simply reading. Allowing a child to draw or color and playing word games and singing songs are also a part of literacy. Sometimes literacy development does not actually involve print. There are many ways of learning to read and write. Some of these ways may look suspiciously like play which makes them all the more effective.

Children learn through play. Play provides opportunities for exploration, experimentation, and manipulation that are essential for constructing knowledge and contributes to the development of representational thought. During play, children examine and refine their learning in light of the feedback they receive from the environment and other people. It is through play that children develop their imaginations and creativity. During the primary grades, children’s play becomes more rule-oriented and promotes the development of autonomy and cooperation which contributes to social, emotional, and intellectual development.

Make-believe among peers also plays an important role in emergent literacy. Pretending is, in fact, an ideal area in which children can develop literacy-related language skills. In pretend play, children use language to create imaginary worlds; and the manner in which language is used when pretending has much in common with reading. It is important to provide children time and settings in which they can use language with each other in a variety of social dramatic play activities.

Block play, too, can serve as a foundation for literacy. While reading and writing and playing with blocks seem miles apart at first glance, block play offers the literacy-related benefits of helping children understand symbolization, refine visual discrimination, develop fine-motor coordination, and practice oral language.

So remember, your goal is not to teach your child to read so much as it is to help them become literate. Immerse your child in literacy by talking, reading, singing, pretending, and playing and you will have done a great deal to prepare your child to become a reader.

About The Author
Deanna Mascle is the publisher of Preschoolers Learn More. She has three post secondary degrees and 15 years professional experience teaching (plus more years than she’d like to admit as a camp counselor, Sunday School teacher, and Bible Camp staff member) and she needs every scrap of her education and experience to keep up with Noah Mascle, age 4. Visit for more tips and resources for teaching your preschooler including Teach Your Child the Alphabet and Learning to Read through Rhyme

by Agata Langer

It’s 8 o’clock at night, the kids are finally asleep. The floor is covered with toys and the trail of rejected dinner food items that ‘accidentally’ fell off the kids’ dinner trays. The sofa and the walls are sticky with jelly, the TV remotes are gone, the kitchen sink is overfilled with dishes and the laundry basket must be shrinking because it just doesn’t seem to be able to accommodate the 4 changes of kids clothes each of the boys went through today. I finally sit down and then I think to myself that I’m proud. I am not only proud of my 2 active boys, Ryan (3) and Gregory (1) but also of myself and the smart strategies I developed to help me along in the challenge of raising toddlers.

Here are a few of them:

Bring Them Outdoors
Have you noticed that the behavior of kids who stay indoors all day resembles that of a wild animal in captivity? The moods of my children change dramatically the moment they escape from the house and get the chance to roam at large in the wilderness of their back yard. The crankiness and clinginess disappear as soon as they step outside. Their tempers mellow and the pent up aggression fades away once they let off some steam by running wild. Being outdoors gives kids a sense of freedom and independence. Not only do they become more calm and quiet, but their appetites get a big boost as well.

Hide the Toys
We tend to buy more and more toys for our kids hoping each time we will find the one that keeps them occupied long enough for you to cook, clean, go to bathroom or simply relax (Relax? Keep dreaming!) The overabundance of toys actually creates a problem: Too many toys can make your child feel discouraged and less focused. Leave out just a few toys and hide the rest. Rotate them every 2-3 days. Exchange the toys after the kids are in bed and make it a morning surprise for them. You will notice how happy your toddler will be to see and play with the toys he or she had forgotten about.

Serve Fruit Snacks to Boost Their Appetites
One of the rules established in our house is NO SNACKING within 90 minutes of mealtime. Moms know that even a small snack given too close to a meal usually results in a plate full of uneaten food. There is something you can do to to give your child a snack and actually increase their appetite at the same time: Serve fruit snacks between meals. A fruit snack about 90 minutes before a meal will not only help to satisfy the kids’ hunger until mealtime, it will actually stimulate their appetites for dinner and make them anxious to eat. Grapes are the favorite choice for both of my boys but an apple, an orange, a peach or some pineapple works just as well. If your kids are accustomed to non fruit snacks, try to give it to them soon after a main meal and then serve the fruit snack 90 minutes before the next one.

Give Them Choices
This is a powerful strategy I began using lately and it works nearly all the time for me.

Give Your Toddler a Choice Within Your Choice
Kids, in general, get frustrated when they feel like they have no control over their little lives. I used to lose my mind trying to win the battle with Ryan. Whenever I would tell him to do something the contest would begin. I could ask politely, I could ask firmly, I could order and I could even yell. Nothing helped. In fact, the more I insisted that he do something the more stubborn and adamant he would be in resisting me. Then, I started giving Ryan choices that each served my disciplinary goal. When Ryan throws his sippy cup on the floor, instead of starting the battle of wills, I give him a choice by politely asking:

by Lorraine Pirihi

Last week I attended a presentation from Parenting Expert and well-known author, Stephen Biddulph on “Raising Boys”. As I have an 11 year old son, I was interested to hear what Stephen had to say. In fact, so were the other 800 other parents in the room!

The key point that I picked up on was that boys from the age of 6 -14 really need ‘time’ with their dads. That is the most influential period in their lives when they bond with him. And the type of time they need is not all thrown into a once a week or month block or some exotic holiday once a year, they need to spend time with their sons on a regular basis. Otherwise how can you build a strong and stable relationship?

For the single mums reading this, don’t despair. If you are estranged from your partner and bringing up your son is your responsibility, having a positive male role model in his life ie. uncle, brother, grandfather teacher, tennis coach etc. will work as well.

What’s happening in our society in the chase for the almighty dollar and in many instances the big ego, our relationships are breaking down. People are totally dominated by their work and have little energy to invest in themselves and their families.

Planning Personal Time
It’s very interesting to note that every client I have coached … male or female, whether they are the business owner, director, executive or whatever title they hold, all have the same common goal… they want more time for their personal life.

They do not want to start work at 7.30 a.m. and return home at 7.00 p.m. They are committed and enjoy what they do, however they are not prepared to sacrifice their own relationships and wellbeing anymore. THE PRICE IS NOT WORTH IT!

You Can Turn Your Life Around
And do you know what the three key things you need to do to turn your life around? Learn to say ‘no’, how to manage your time and then take action.

That’s right. Everyone tells you how busy and how little time they have, yet most people do nothing to learn the skills that will have a dramatic impact on their work and personal lives.

You have to plan time to get things done. Do you want to spend more time with your family? Do you know how to plan for it? How much time do you spend working? How much time do you invest in yourself to learn how to be more effective? Are you hoping that one day, work will ease off and then you can spend more time with your family? Do you really need a bigger house, nicer car or overseas holiday? Will that improve your relationships? Do you think that you’ll (hopefully) stumble on the secrets to getting more time back in your life? If that’s the way you live your life, your kids will probably be all grown up and not really need you.

Cats in the Cradle
For those of you old enough to remember, Cat Stevens recorded a song called “Cats in the Cradle”. It was about a young boy whose Dad was always busy working. He never seemed to be available when his son wanted to be with him. Over the years this continued until the boy became an adult. By then his Dad had retired and had time on his hands, however his son had now become too busy to see his Dad. He too was working and had kids. The tables had turned. All of a sudden the Dad realised what he had done. He was too busy caught up in his work and missed out on his son growing up.

The Final Word
For those of you who have managed to maintain a good balance in your life, congratulations. No doubt you are happier, healthier and more fulfilled. For the rest of you who are unhappy, unhealthy and unfulfilled, then you need to take action if you are serious about wanting to make changes. Do it, because nothing changes if nothing changes!

Have a great week!

Lorraine Pirihi

PS: I highly recommend you invest in Stephen Biddulph’s best-selling book “Manhood”. A must for men and women.

It’s available from major bookstores.

About The Author
Lorraine Pirihi is Australia’s Personal Productivity Specialist, Leading Life Coach and a dynamic presenter. She runs her own business The Office Organiser specialising in working with Small Business Owners and Managers helping them to dramatically improve their productivity, reduce the stress and the mess and have more time for living life! With a Bachelor of Experience, a PHD in Commonsense and a Masters in Results, Lorraine is Australia’s expert on how to get organized at work so you can have a life too! Book Lorraine today for your next event. It will be the best investment of your time and money you ever make! Tel: (+613)9532 5497 lorraine@office-organiser.com.au

By Barbara Hodal, DC

Wanting to raise a healthy baby is a primary desire for parents. An expectant mother will get her check ups, follow the advise of her doctor or mid wife in the myriad of things she can do to contribute to the health of her unborn child.

The usual list of things to do and not to do can include, but certainly not limited to, are eating habits, exercise, rest and stress release while avoiding smoking, alcohol and drugs.

Every person is different, without getting into “lists” of what vitamins and minerals to take or the amounts, we will just touch on some of the basics. Sensible eating and lifestyle habits are at the forefront.

Starting with healthy eating, look to a well-balanced, nutritious diet of lots of fresh greens, fruits and whole grains, organic if possible, to avoid consumption of pesticides and herbicides. These chemicals are detrimental to you and your baby. At the very least, if organic is not an option, avoid foods that contain additives and artificial ingredients.

It has been estimated that Americans consume about 5 lbs of additives/year. If you include sugar, the most used additive, the number jumps to an astounding 135 lbs /year. To learn more about the staggering number of food additives now being used, you can consult Michael Jacobson’s Safe Food: Eating Wisely in a Risky World or Unsafe at Any Meal: How to Avoid Hidden Toxins in Your Food.

Additionally, avoiding junk foods, highly seasoned or fried foods will help with energy levels as well as keeping low the intake of liver clogging hydrogenated fats. When choosing healthy proteins, cooking practices should be considered to be very important. Steer clear of undercooked or rare meats, poultry and fish which can cause food poisoning.

Considering we are approximately 70-75% water, being well hydrated, especially during pregnancy is imperative. The body’s water supply is involved in and responsible for nearly every bodily process, including digestion, absorption, circulation, excretion and the transport of nutrients. It is essential to drink about half your body weight in ounces/day (eg. 130 lbs = 65 oz).

Consuming a high quality water is of the utmost importance, investing in a reputable water purifier or purchasing purified or spring water is the way to go. Distilled water is fine in moderation, too much or drinking solely distilled actually robs your body of vital minerals.

Avoiding high sugar or chemically laden drinks, such as sodas, soft drinks, fruity drinks, etc will keep the additives down as well as the empty calories. (If you drink 100% juices, diluting with pure water will make it easier on the system to handle and keep your insulin from spiking) Other than the obvious reasons to pass on alcohol, it is a depressant, dehydrates and robs you of vital nutrients, including Vitamin C.

After touching on food and water, smoking not only affects the lungs, hence oxygenation of every single cell, but smoking causes serious depletion of vitamin C which is an antioxidant required for collagen formation, tissue growth and repair, adrenal gland function, immune function, healthy gums and an endless list of additional tissues and functions requiring this vitamin.

Moderate exercise (always check with your doctor or midwife) can not be over emphasized, it helps to alleviate many of the common problems of pregnancy. Improving circulation, helping to prevent hemorrhoids, constipation and varicose veins, to name a few, can be reason enough for many women to hit the walking path.

Strengthening the circulatory system gives more endurance, improves your physical condition and some studies suggest it can actually result in shorter labor and help the mother to bounce back quicker.

The previous items are some very basic considerations in your child’s health before it arrives. OK, the sweet little bundle has arrived, now the parents will do what they can in feeding and caring for the new addition. From the right crib to covering edges, outlet guards, breast feeding or formula, bathing, there is an endless list of things to consider……. the point is of the long list of things to get or have or change or do for the health of your baby, some very important considerations may be overlooked if the parents aren’t aware.

At the top of list is the bedding and clothing that babies live in. Racking up almost 60% of their time in bed, the sheets your baby is in are just as important as the construction of that oh so fabulous crib. Have you thought of organic? Did you know they produced organic bedding and clothing? Were you aware they manufactured baby organic bedding and clothing? Most people really have no idea, it is just something they hadn’t thought of as well as the fact it is not quite yet the main stream.

Organic means growing fibers in fields without synthetic chemicals, for at least three years. Third-party certification organizations verify that organic producers use only methods and materials allowed in organic production. Pure, natural, chemical free.

Conventional clothing and bedding embedded with chemical toxins from growing to processing to finishing are now unacceptable to many. In the child and baby arena, it is getting even more so. As concerned parents start to research or happen by an article with vital information on poison exposure, they are finding that children and infants are uniquely at risk from pesticides because of physiological susceptibility and greater relative exposure. Three major factors are particularly important:

Are you a grandparent who has recently taken on more than a traditional grandparent role? If you have, you may be your grandchild’s guardian. No matter what the reason for your son or daughter being unable to care for their own child, it is now your responsibility to provide the love, support, and care of two people.

One of the biggest problems that guardian grandparents face is the uncertainty. After all, it is likely that some time has passed since you raised a child, especially an infant or a newborn. One of the best ways to go about successfully raising a grandchild, while keeping your head on straight, is by developing a plan. Having a plan in place for just about every situation imaginable will be able to provide you with much needed assistance and guidance.

If you are the guardian for your newborn or infant grandchild, it is important to re-familiarize yourself with the needs of this age group. For starters, you will want to focus on the proper medical care. Newborns and infants are often required to see their physicians on a monthly or bimonthly basis to undergo regular checkups and to receive all needed vaccinations. It will be your responsibility, as the grandparent guardian, to ensure that proper medical attention is sought. Before doing so, depending on your situation, you may need to make arrangements for health care payments, insurance, or other medical coverage.

Another one of the many plans that you will want to have in place, as a grandparent guardian, involves childcare. If you are caring for a newborn, infant, or toddler, you will need to make daily arrangements for them, especially if you are employed. Even if you intend to be a stay-at-home guardian or if your grandchild is school aged, you will still want to have a childcare plan in place. Every parent, even grandparent guardians, need to have breaks every now and then. Examining your options, in terms of childcare providers or other family members who would be willing to step up to the plate, can help to calm your nerves, should you ever have to leave your grandchild alone.

The above mentioned plans are just a few of the many that you will want to have in place, when taking on the role of a grandparent guardian. An additional step that you will want to take includes creating a budget for yourself. Raising a child will likely result in changes to your finances, but, if properly handled, this arrangement is one that should work successfully.

Are you a grandparent who is raising your grandchild? If you are, you aren’t a grandparent in the traditional sense. Grandparents who raise their grandchild have to take on two different roles, the roles of both parents and grandparents.

When raising a grandchild, it is important to remember that you will see your share of ups and downs. Often times, grandparents will visit their grandchildren on the weekends and have an unlimited number of picture perfect moments. When spending twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with your grandchild, you will run into complications, no matter what their age. The good news is that there are always solutions to the problems that you may run into.

While many people will tell you otherwise, you may find it the easiest to raise newborns and infants. Yes, you may have midnight feedings and a load of dirty diapers to change, but you will find yourself having to provide constant love and support to your grandchild. What is nice about this is that showing love and support is something that grandparents do best. At the newborn and infant stages, you will want to cuddle and spend as much time with your grandchild as possible.

Although many grandparents who raise their grandchildren focus on the difficulties that they may face and solutions for those difficulties, it is also important to remember the firsts that you will get to experience with your very own eyes. When raising your grandchild, you will be able to see and celebrate their first words, first crawl, first step, first play date, and first day of school. No matter what complications you have run into in the past or will run into in the future, these memorable experiences will be make raising your grandchild more than worth it.

As previously stated, raising grandchildren has it shares of difficulties. As with traditional parents, it will be easy for you to feel overwhelmed. If and when that time comes, you may want to seek assistance. You may not know this, but it is actually a lot more common for grandparents to raise their grandchildren than many think. The good news is that this has led to the development of support groups all across the country.

As a reminder, if you are feeling overwhelmed, be sure to examine local grandparents raising grandchildren support groups in your area or call on the services of a babysitter or other family members. In the traditional family setting, even parents need a break and the same will likely ring true for you.

by Elizabeth Pantley, Contemporary Books, released October 2000

Curt, a bright sixteen-year-old, was bursting with excitement over his newly earned driver’s license. His mother, seeing an opportunity for him to exercise his helpful tendencies, as well as his newfound freedom, asked him to go to the grocery store to get hamburger for dinner. The look on his face was jubilant! His mom had never trusted him with such a task.

He grabbed the car keys and made a mad dash for the garage. She went to the kitchen to begin dinner preparations. By the time she’d finished and set the table, she began to worry. Time passed—and still more. Where was Curt?

Just as she was considering a trip of her own to find him, Curt came trudging through the door—without hamburger. “Where’s the meat?” she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. “They don’t sell hamburger at our grocery store, Mom.”

“Of course they do, Curt!” she exclaimed. But he sighed loudly and persisted, frustrated that his mother didn’t get it.

“I went down every aisle twice, Mom, and they do not sell hamburger!”

Exasperated, she asked Curt to get back in the car, and she climbed in beside him. On the way to the store, she muttered, “It’s just like always around here. If I want something done right, I have to do it myself.” Once at the store, she marched over to the meat cooler, Curt dragging behind. She pointed dramatically and announced triumphantly, “There!”

She was stunned when her son, looking very puzzled—a beacon in a sea of cellophane-packed ground meat—said, in the sincerest of voices, “I don’t see any hamburger…”

It took seconds for her to make the connection. Her son—her driver’s-license-toting, beard-growing, college-bound son—had never been asked to help with grocery shopping! Nor had he ever prepared a meal! The truth was that he couldn’t recognize raw hamburger if she threw it at his head! That head was currently shaking back and forth in amazement. “Wow,” he said, “I’ve never seen it like that before.”

When the fog cleared, other thoughts crept into her head: he’d never done a load of laundry! He’d never balanced a checkbook! He’d never changed a flat tire! He’d never sewn on a button, or mended a tear in his pants! He’d never even packed his own lunch! Since she’d always done all these things for him, he’d never had the opportunity to do them for himself—and now her son, who was rapidly approaching full adulthood, had no idea how to perform any of these common rituals. She, with all the best intentions mixed with a bit of all-too-human impatience, had unknowingly failed to prepare her son for his foray into the real world. She was a good mother—too good.

The Hidden Message
“Don’t you worry about any of these tasks. I’ll do them for you. I’ll always be there to do them for you.”

Think About It
Sometimes, raising responsible kids isn’t so much about what we do, but about what we don’t. By being “too good” of a parent we rob our children of opportunities that help them develop tools for success in adult life—tools that can’t be bought or given, but must be forged by experience. Every task we complete for our children is a task not done by our children.

I can imagine you now shaking your head at this page in protest, asking a valid question: “But my job is to take care of my children! Aren’t these tasks a part of my job?” Read this answer slowly and carefully: No.

Your job is to raise responsible, capable young people who eventually leave your home to build independent lives; your job is to help them develop the skills necessary to do that. So, you should feel good about teaching and transferring some household duties to your children, knowing that this is an essential gift that you’re giving them.

This is a process that should begin early and continue at a regular pace. Introducing important life skills to your kids when they turn eighteen isn’t feasible and might just be impossible. For one, teenagers are busy; they’re eager to get on with life and have little patience to learn mundane skills such as loading the dishwasher. For another, they’ve already developed habits that are hard to break. So, it behooves us to bring our babies into childhood with a constant eye toward what we’re doing for them and weigh it against what they could be doing for themselves.

Having said that, I maintain that it’s perfectly acceptable to choose to cater to your child at times. If your child is sick, of course, you shouldn’t tell him to get out of bed and make his own chicken soup. If your child is unable to complete a task on his own—due to his age or abilities—it’s an act of mercy to help him out. Consideration as a character trait is every bit as essential as independence. The difference in these cases is that you’re offering—your child isn’t expecting.

Changes You Can Make
Begin by learning one useful word, to be uttered to yourself at times when you catch yourself doing for children things they should learn to do for themselves: “Don’t.”

This is one of the few times in parenting that you can be proud of the things you DON’T do. Next time you see that crusty cereal bowl, hum your mantra—“Doooonnnnn’t”—and refrain from taking it to the sink. Instead, call your child, point to the bowl, and ask him politely to take care of it. When you see those clothes lying on the floor just outside the shower door, stop yourself— “Doooonnnnn’t”— and ask your child to put them in the hamper. Don’t pick up those crumpled-up snack wrappers left on the kitchen counter—“Doooonnnnn’t.” Request that your child give them a proper burial. Resist the temptation to move the morning along by packing your kid’s lunch. “Doooonnnnn’t.” Instead, call her over to the counter, and guide her through the lunch-making process.

These lessons needn’t be dreary. For example, next time you’re about to put in a load of laundry, don’t simply trudge off to the laundry room— “Doooonnnnn’t.” As you pass your child, who is reclined on the sofa watching TV, ask him to turn off the tube and join you for a quick laundry lesson. You both might take pleasure from the time you spend together, talking among the whites and the darks, enjoying a few moments of conversation as you teach another valuable life skill.

Yes, I know. You’ll have to go though this drill again and again… But eventually, one bright day, you’ll realize that some learning has taken place. (And just maybe your child will have caught on, too.) As if by magic, your child will have taken care of that cereal bowl without a word from you—and you can celebrate the fact that he’s moved one step closer to being responsible for himself. And as a bonus, you’ll have moved one step further from frustration.

Of course, this approach calls for common sense. You can’t expect a three-year-old to cook his own dinner or a five-year-old to mow the lawn. Start with simple age-appropriate responsibilities and add to these as your child becomes more mature and capable. The beauty of gifting your child with the skills of responsibility and independence is that each skill is a building block upon which many others are balanced. First your child learns to count the spoons and fetch the napkins, then he learns to set the table, next he learns to fill his own plate with food, after that he learns how to make the salad, and before you know it, he has the skills to prepare an entire meal.

My three older children, at the ripe old ages of eight, ten and twelve – have the skills necessary to do exactly that. On several occasions, they have been given the privilege of planning and preparing a meal. The three of them discuss a menu plan and create a shopping list. Then Mom, Dad or Grandma takes them to the grocery store and the three kids do their shopping (as the adult-in-charge sips a coffee at the front deli counter.) They bring their groceries home and prepare the meal. It is absolutely delightful to listen as the three of them converse and discuss the details of the preparation, “Do you think these pieces are too big?” “How long do you cook beans?” “Do you think this is enough cheese?” The meals are very creative, usually colorful and even tasty. In addition to knowing that they have learned important life skills, the glow on their faces as they bask in the success of their endeavor makes it all worthwhile.

So how do you get to this point? If your little one is younger than six, consider yourself in the “training stage.” This is a time when learning occurs and habits form. I know: it’s so much easier to pick up your child’s toys than to go through the labor-intensive process that “letting your child do it himself” really is. It does take more time and energy to “let” your child pick up his toys, tie his shoes, and pour his juice; as the “help” you need to give is often more complicated than if you would have done it yourself. In the long run, however, you’ll save yourself a virtual lifetime of catering to a child who has never had the opportunity to assume these responsibilities at a young age. Such a child will see you as his personal valet and will resist giving up such a luxury. Wouldn’t you?

Plus, taking the time and expending the patience to help a willing and enthusiastic three- or four-year-old learn to unload the dishwasher is a lot easier than trying to teach a busy, uninterested teenager, and then deal with the frustration when he doesn’t keep up with it.

If your child is over six, every missed opportunity to teach a useful household task prolongs your child’s dependence. Every single time you pick up a dirty sock, a used tissue, a crusty cereal bowl or a misplaced toy—every time you do this— you teach your child to believe in the “cleanup fairy.” This is not only frustrating for you, but also difficult for your children when they move out of the house and discover that the “cleanup fairy” neglected to pack up and move with them.

This is one of those parenting tasks that are difficult for most of us. But the benefits are great. Perhaps the most wonderful payoff in allowing your child to master life through age-appropriate tasks and skills comes from the boost to his self-esteem. The more capable a child is, the more confident the child will become. With confidence, and a full repertoire of important life skills, comes a stronger, more positive self-image that will enable your child to take on whatever life imposes.

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

By Barbara Hodal, DC

Wanting to raise a healthy baby is a primary desire for parents. An expectant mother will get her check ups, follow the advise of her doctor or mid wife in the myriad of things she can do to contribute to the health of her unborn child.

The usual list of things to do and not to do can include, but certainly not limited to, are eating habits, exercise, rest and stress release while avoiding smoking, alcohol and drugs.

Every person is different, without getting into “lists” of what vitamins and minerals to take or the amounts, we will just touch on some of the basics. Sensible eating and lifestyle habits are at the forefront.

Starting with healthy eating, look to a well-balanced, nutritious diet of lots of fresh greens, fruits and whole grains, organic if possible, to avoid consumption of pesticides and herbicides. These chemicals are detrimental to you and your baby. At the very least, if organic is not an option, avoid foods that contain additives and artificial ingredients.

It has been estimated that Americans consume about 5 lbs of additives/year. If you include sugar, the most used additive, the number jumps to an astounding 135 lbs /year. To learn more about the staggering number of food additives now being used, you can consult Michael Jacobson’s Safe Food: Eating Wisely in a Risky World or Unsafe at Any Meal: How to Avoid Hidden Toxins in Your Food.

Additionally, avoiding junk foods, highly seasoned or fried foods will help with energy levels as well as keeping low the intake of liver clogging hydrogenated fats. When choosing healthy proteins, cooking practices should be considered to be very important. Steer clear of undercooked or rare meats, poultry and fish which can cause food poisoning.

Considering we are approximately 70-75% water, being well hydrated, especially during pregnancy is imperative. The body’s water supply is involved in and responsible for nearly every bodily process, including digestion, absorption, circulation, excretion and the transport of nutrients. It is essential to drink about half your body weight in ounces/day (eg. 130 lbs = 65 oz).

Consuming a high quality water is of the utmost importance, investing in a reputable water purifier or purchasing purified or spring water is the way to go. Distilled water is fine in moderation, too much or drinking solely distilled actually robs your body of vital minerals.

Avoiding high sugar or chemically laden drinks, such as sodas, soft drinks, fruity drinks, etc will keep the additives down as well as the empty calories. (If you drink 100% juices, diluting with pure water will make it easier on the system to handle and keep your insulin from spiking) Other than the obvious reasons to pass on alcohol, it is a depressant, dehydrates and robs you of vital nutrients, including Vitamin C.

After touching on food and water, smoking not only affects the lungs, hence oxygenation of every single cell, but smoking causes serious depletion of vitamin C which is an antioxidant required for collagen formation, tissue growth and repair, adrenal gland function, immune function, healthy gums and an endless list of additional tissues and functions requiring this vitamin.

Moderate exercise (always check with your doctor or midwife) can not be over emphasized, it helps to alleviate many of the common problems of pregnancy. Improving circulation, helping to prevent hemorrhoids, constipation and varicose veins, to name a few, can be reason enough for many women to hit the walking path.

Strengthening the circulatory system gives more endurance, improves your physical condition and some studies suggest it can actually result in shorter labor and help the mother to bounce back quicker.

The previous items are some very basic considerations in your child’s health before it arrives. OK, the sweet little bundle has arrived, now the parents will do what they can in feeding and caring for the new addition. From the right crib to covering edges, outlet guards, breast feeding or formula, bathing, there is an endless list of things to consider……. the point is of the long list of things to get or have or change or do for the health of your baby, some very important considerations may be overlooked if the parents aren’t aware.

At the top of list is the bedding and clothing that babies live in. Racking up almost 60% of their time in bed, the sheets your baby is in are just as important as the construction of that oh so fabulous crib. Have you thought of organic? Did you know they produced organic bedding and clothing? Were you aware they manufactured baby organic bedding and clothing? Most people really have no idea, it is just something they hadn’t thought of as well as the fact it is not quite yet the main stream.

Organic means growing fibers in fields without synthetic chemicals, for at least three years. Third-party certification organizations verify that organic producers use only methods and materials allowed in organic production. Pure, natural, chemical free.

Conventional clothing and bedding embedded with chemical toxins from growing to processing to finishing are now unacceptable to many. In the child and baby arena, it is getting even more so. As concerned parents start to research or happen by an article with vital information on poison exposure, they are finding that children and infants are uniquely at risk from pesticides because of physiological susceptibility and greater relative exposure. Three major factors are particularly important: