You don’t have to give up dining out, and you don’t have to skip a date night if the babysitter cancels. There are ways to teach children how to behave appropriately in a restaurant so that it is a fun evening out for everyone in the family.

Children can be both excited and bored when at a restaurant. They can find it difficult to sit in one place for the length of time necessary to order, wait, eat, and pay for the meal. This problem is one that improves with age, development and practice. With a good game plan, you can help your children learn how to behave appropriately in a restaurant so that you can all enjoy the experience.

Pick the right restaurant.
Choose a restaurant based on its level of child-friendliness. What’s important? The availability of a children’s menu that includes food your kids will actually eat. The absence of a long wait for a table. Booster seats or high chairs. Private booths or eating nooks as opposed to one large open room. And a noisier, family-friendly atmosphere is always a plus. (Save the hushed candlelit ambience for adult-only nights out.)

Teach restaurant manners at home.
If you are casual about mealtime manners at home, don’t expect your children to miraculously develop table manners because you happen to be sitting in a restaurant. Practice good manners at home for every meal, and your children will be prepared when you eat out.

Have longer sit-down meals at home.
Typically, at home we call our children to the table when all the food is ready, and then excuse them as soon as they are finished eating. If you want to practice for restaurant visits it’s a good idea to have them come to the table a few minutes earlier. Then sit and chat for a bit after you are finished with the meal. Make it fun by telling stories or jokes or talking about upcoming plans. Not only will this be great practice for eating out, it’s a wonderful family-bonding ritual to introduce into your home.

Dine out at your regular meal time.
When possible, stick close to your daily routine. Plan to dine at a reasonable time, before the kids become famished and tired. If you must go out later than your usual time, then provide your children with a snack at the normal time, and allow them to have a smaller meal at the restaurant, or to eat half the meal and bring the rest home.

Review your restaurant rules before you go.
Be very specific and leave no stone unturned. A sample list of “restaurant rules” might be: Sit in your seat. Use a quiet inside voice. Use your silverware, not your fingers. Have nice conversation, no bickering. If you don’t like something, keep your comments to yourself and fill up on something else. If you have to use the restroom, ask me privately and I’ll take you.

Ask for an immediate appetizer.
Many restaurants automatically bring bread or chips to the table as soon as you are seated. If this isn’t the case, ask for something to be brought out for the kids. This will ward off hunger and provide something to do before the meals arrive.

Prevent boredom.
Bring along a few simple toys like a deck of cards, plastic animals, or small quiet toys that can keep the kids occupied while they wait.

Don’t imagine that eating out with kids is the same as dining without them.
When you take children to a restaurant the focus is not the cuisine or the atmosphere. It’s all about controlling the excitement and boredom, teaching your children formal manners, and having quality family time.

Don’t stay too long after eating.
Keep your post-meal conversation short. The longer you stay, the more likely your children will run out of patience and act up. Ask for to-go boxes and the check at the same time you order your food. This way, if you have to leave because of a tired or whiny child, you can make a fast get away

Don’t make the kids eat what they don’t like.
Stick with familiar foods when possible. If the grilled cheese sandwich your child ordered turns out to be Swiss cheese on sourdough allow your child to eat the French fries and pack up the sandwich to go. A restaurant is not the place to battle over new and unfamiliar foods.

Don’t stay if you’re not having fun.
If a child’s behavior gets out of hand, take her to the restroom or out to the car for a break so that she can calm down. If she continues to misbehave, don’t be afraid to ask for doggie bags and leave the restaurant. But don’t give up! Review your expectations and try again.

Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Discipline Solution (McGraw-Hill 2007) by Elizabeth Pantley http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

“Dad, you’re going to be a grandfather.” My son was calling from his Naval base. He could have told me anything else on earth and I would not have been more surprised. At first I thought he was joking. I waited for the punch line. It was no joke.

He had come home on leave a few weeks earlier. He had met a girl. We knew very little about her. They had dated while he was home. It turns out they had kept contact, calling, writing and e-mailing to each one another. Soon after he had gone back to his base she discovered she was pregnant. They were, of course, not married.

It took a few moments for what he was saying to sink in. How could this happen? (Stupid question.) What was he going to do about it? (We are Catholic. Another stupid question.) How could he let this happen? (My first sensible question.) Surprise rolled over into anger. We ended up slamming down the phones in anger.

A jillion things raced through my mind. I was barely in my 40′s. I was too young to be a grandparent. What were our friends going to think? What was our pastor going to think? How were these two kids going to get along raising a baby? What was the mother really like? After all, we barely knew her. How were they going to be able to build a marriage relationship with a baby in the middle of all of that adjustment? How were they going to start a family with him in the Navy and away at sea part of the time?

Sure, I wanted to be a grandparent someday. Just not yet and not this way.

The next few months were a period of change and adjustment for all of us. It wasn’t easy.

One of the toughest adjustments was accepting that my son was stepping into both adulthood and fatherhood. He was barely out of high school. He still had two years remaining on his Navy enlistment. Suddenly he was no longer the boy, who it seemed like only yesterday I had been scolding for not cleaning his room, taking out the garbage and for denting a fender on the car.

A girl we barely knew was suddenly part of the family. We had to quickly develop a relationship with her. Like my son, she seemed so young. Was this girl really going to be the mother of my grandchild?

And then he was born. He was so tiny. I had forgotten how small a new baby is. The first time I held him I swear he smiled at me. I knew we were going to be buddies. They tell me he was too young to really smile. I know better. In that moment I caught a glimpse, in my mind’s eye, of all of the fishing trips, ball games and camp outs we were going to share.

Suddenly none of the would’ve, could’ve, should have’s counted for a thing. A new little innocent person, who had no say at all in the matter, had just been born. The only thing that mattered from that day forward was giving him everything that family love and support can possibly provide.

That is what we have been learning to do. Along the way I have picked up a few tips to share.

1. It is your child’s home, your child’s rules. A role reversal takes place. When your child establishes a home, you are a guest. The rules change. You are no longer in charge’ and you are sharing your child’s life in a new way. Respect that and be grateful for the opportunity. 
2. Offer to give the parents a break. Babies and small children demand constant attention. This level of attention day after day and week after week is wearing on anyone. Offer to give your child and his or her spouse a break. Even a break of a few hours can be a very welcome gift. 
3. Do not criticize. Your child and his or her partner are going to do things and say things that you wouldn’t do or say. They are going to make mistakes. Don’t criticize them for those mistakes. Your criticism will not be received well and will get in the way of your relationship. Besides, you’ve made plenty of mistakes of your own. They are entitled to theirs. 
4. Offer advice only when asked. It is a funny thing about advice. The more you offer it, the less it is appreciated. The less you offer advice, the more it’s sought. That truism has never been more valid than dealing with an adult child. 
5. The world has changed. The parenting styles and discipline techniques your children use may be different than those you employed. Most likely the techniques you used were different than those of your parents. You may not always agree with your children, but as long as everyone is safe from harm, with food and shelter, accept them. If you did a good job teaching your children your basic values, they will not stray far from them, regardless the techniques used. 
6. Make time to be a grandparent. Most people I know that are my age live very hectic, busy lives. We are at the height of our careers. Most of us are healthy and very active. Time is a precious commodity. Most of us also spent so much time developing careers and supporting our lifestyles that we found our children were grown almost before we knew it. Arrange your life with time to be a grandparent. The rewards are greater than work and personal activities will ever be. 
7. Share your grandchild’s world. Suddenly you are looking at a whole new round of ball games, school plays, scout meetings, graduations and the other events in your grandchild’s life. They are even more fun now than they were with your own children. Your grandchildren grow and change every day. There is a special pride in watching a grandchild develop and perform. These events are an excellent way to stay in touch with his or her developing personality. 
8. Ask how you can help. Do not assume you know. Your child’s life, like yours has been, will be a series of challenges, success and failures. Let you child know that you are always there, willing to help. Don’t assume you know when and how to help. Your child will let you know when he or she needs your help. 
9. Establish limits of help. Being a grandparent is special. It does not mean giving up your own life. If a parent is willing to provide unlimited assistance, it may become too easy for the child to take advantage of that. There should be limits of financial and personal assistance. Occasional babysitting is fun, for example. Providing a free daycare service may not be. Determine limits that are reasonable and comfortable for you and then discuss them with your child.

Becoming a grandparent is a very special time in life. In many ways it is more fun than being a parent. It is part-time. It is a second chance to do all of the things you meant to do or should have done with your children. The relationship with my grandchildren is more relaxed and easier than with my children. I may not have been ready when it happened, but I’m glad it did.

About the Author
Royce Armstrong is a grandparent and freelance writer featured at Happy Tulip Toys and Gifts for Grandchildren. This and other articles and tips about grandparenting can be found here.

1. Boundaries are necessary for control and safety.
All children need and must learn to respect boundaries. Being clear about expectations before an activity begins frees you and the child to enjoy the event and ensures the safety of everyone involved. If you observe the boundaries are being violated, don’t be afraid to remind your grandchildren again. Restate the rules as many times as necessary. Writing the rules and posting them or bringing them along is a good idea. If a rule is violated during the activity, ask the child to repeat or read the rules again.

2. Gift giving is not a requirement of grandparenting.
Establish a practice with your first grandchild and stick with it; what you do for one doesn’t necessarily have to be done for all. Financial and family situations change as our children grow. If a family experiences loss of a job or divorce, don’t be afraid to make temporary changes. Gifts are gifts especially when they are unexpected. Surprise gifts are the best. Gifts don’t have to cost a lot. Research supports the fact that “time together” is the best gift we can give. Travel provides time for the grandparent and grandchildren to discover and appreciate each other’s gifts.

3. All rules must be consistent with parents’ wishes.
Anything you do with and for your grandchild needs to be discussed first with the parents. After all, parents make the rules and effective grandparents support them.

Don’t keep secrets from the parents and don’t ask the grandchildren to keep secrets from their parents. Many grandparents believe that some information should not be shared with the parents, but this only undermines the relationships.

4. There is no substitute for planning.
Proper planning ensures that the activity will be discussed with the parents. No matter what the age or sex of your grandchild, planning makes any activity more successful. This is not to say you can’t be spontaneous, but it’s often better and safer to have a plan.

Discuss with the child what he or she would like to do. Give careful thought to the age appropriateness of the activities before you begin. Giving children choices increases their self-confidence and is great training for the future.

5. Grandchildren and grandparents want to have fun!
There is no substitute for good old-fashioned belly laughs. It’s good for you, your grandchild and your relationship. During the activity itself, share with your grandchildren how excited you are about being with them.

Children enjoy getting away from their parents for short periods of time and grandparents enjoy being part of a very important relationship. Parents enjoy their break too.

About the Author
Don Schmitz is a well-known writer and speaker on parenting and grandparenting. He is the author of “The New face of Grandprenting…Why Parents Need Their Own Parents” and founder of Grandkidsandme, which includes: Grandparent Camps and Grandkid Days. Don holds graduate degrees in Education, Administration, Human Development and is father to three sons and grandfather to four granddaughters. Contact Don Schmitz at Don@grandkidsandme.com.

Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and validated. They also allow younger children to feel they are an important part of the decision-making process when it comes to family vacations and other major and minor family functions.

Before the first meeting commences, set a few ground rules such as:

• Speak in a calm tone.
• Avoid name-calling, finger-pointing, and sarcasm.
• Turn off the TV, radio and telephones.
• Allow each person to voice his or her concerns and ideas.
• Listen to all opinions before making a decision.
• If a person voices a complaint, they must also bring to the table at least one possible remedy to the situation.

Locations for future family meetings may also be brainstormed at the first meeting. Here are a few examples:

Circle Time
Very simply, sit on the floor together, in a circle. Designate an object as a “talking token”. This can be a small stuffed animal, a necklace to be worn, a hat, or any other item that will be passed around. Whoever holds the talking token may speak. Once they are finished, they must pass the token to the next person.

Restaurant Rendezvous
Take turns choosing a favorite restaurant to host your family meetings. For this option, choose an afternoon or evening in the middle of the week, or at off-peak times, to avoid heavy crowds. End the meeting before dessert arrives, so everyone can indulge their sweet tooth happily.

Hobby Haven
I know of several families who hold their meetings at places that cater to their favorite hobbies. For instance, one family conducts their meeting at a bowling alley. Once the meeting is over, they enjoy bowling together. Another family combines their gathering with their love of books, by meeting at a café in their favorite bookstore. And yet another family I know holds their weekly meeting after a joyful round of put-put golf. This option combines family communication and fun.

However, and wherever, your family decides to host the meetings, remember this all-important point: Always end each meeting with a hug!

About The Author
Deborah Shelton is a mother, freelance writer, and author of the brand new book, The Five Minute Parent: Fun & Fast Activities for You and Your Little Ones. Visit Deborah’s website for more family-friendly ideas: www.fiveminuteparent.com.
deborah@fiveminuteparent.com

When your child misbehaves, do you find yourself feeling like they’re “out to get you”? Contrary to what you might be feeling at the time, your child probably doesn’t intend to misbehave with the intention to spoil your day. Usually, misbehavior stems from their own feelings of discouragement.

Rudolph Dreikurs said, “A misbehaving child is a discouraged child.” When a child fails to receive encouragement, they will look for others ways to get the attention they seek—often through ineffective means such as aggression, whining, bullying, disrespect, and even coach potato behavior.

By encouraging our children, we can actually prevent the misbehavior we don’t like. Sound good? Then keep reading!

Encouragement vs. Praise
Many Moms and Dads have learned how to praise their children, but the art of encouragement is a skill they’ve yet to master.

What’s the difference?
Encouragement is a “gift” focusing on the internal process—the “who” our child is. Praise, however, is given as a “reward” for external results—the “what” our child does.

When children are fed a constant diet of praise, they begin to focus on externals for their self-worth. The outcome? “Pleasers” and “perfectionists” who are constantly struggling to prove their worth. This can eventually lead to problems like anorexia, depression, and alcohol or drug abuse.

When children feel good about who they are because of encouragement, however, very little can stop them from attaining their dreams!

How to Tell the Two Apart
Here’s an easy way to remember the difference between encouragement and praise:

Encouragement—Uses all the phrases and words you would hear during a game or race. Things like:

• “Way to go!”
• “You can do it.”
• “Great save.”
• “You look like you are really enjoying yourself.”
• “Awesome job!”
• “Look at all the effort you are putting into this.”
• “I bet you were proud of that goal.”

Praise—Uses all the phrases and words you would hear after your child’s team has won. Examples are:

• “I am so proud of you, you won!”
• “You’re a winner. I love you.”
• “We’re number one, we’re number one!”
• “You’re first, like your sister.”
• “Finally, you won.”

Does this mean praise is evil? Of course not! It’s just ineffective in fostering your child’s internal support system—their self-esteem. The more you focus on encouraging phrases and words, instead of just praise, the more likely your child is to feel good about who they are.

Start Using These Positive Parent Rules Today!
Mystery solved! I trust you realize now that the main reason your child misbehaves is because they want to be encouraged. Here are 10 top ways you can start encouraging your child right away:

1. Smile and literally “light up” when they come into the room.
2. Focus on their strengths, rather than their weaknesses.
3. Every night, before bed, say to them, “I am so blessed to have a daughter/son like you in my life.”
4. Ask them for their opinion on an issue or challenge you had that day.
5. “Catch them” doing things you love and acknowledge them for it.
6. Become interested in what they are passionate about by asking questions and learning more.
7. Hug them often.
8. Look for ways they can help out and thank them for it.
9. Place surprise notes of encouragement in their lunch or under their pillow.
10. Use encouraging phrases like, “You must be proud of yourself.”

If you’re accustomed to “praising,” the switch to “encouraging” may be tough at first. Encouragement is an art form that takes both practice and experience. But the time and effort you put into encouraging your children is definitely worth it. Why? Because encouragement, moment by moment, leads to great things.

About the Author
Kelly Nault, MA author of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You inspires moms to put themselves first—for the sake of their children. She shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! Sign up for her free online nine week parenting course here.

Conflict is part of life. If you are human—if you are breathing—you will experience conflict even with those you love most. This is normal. Conflict can actually be healthy when our family members have the skills to move through conflict. When we don’t have conflict resolution skills—that’s when we experience problems.

If you find yourself revisiting the same heated issues—“Why can’t you pick up after yourself?”, “Why can’t you help out more with the kids?”, or “Why can’t you two just get along for once?”—you may be living in a cantankerous home environment that has your whole family in the “deep end” of life. Don’t despair: there is a solution.

Easy-to-Use Activities for Conflict Resolution Skills Development
My book, When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You contains dozens of easy-to-use tips for developing conflict resolution skills in your children. Here are three of the most useful conflict resolution tools:

1. Establish Family Rules For Conflict – Sit down as a family and create a special conflict resolution rules document that each of you can refer to during fights and arguments. Include things like: we are specific when we talk about our problems, we forgive one another, we are honest, we listen to others point of view, we look for solutions so we can all feel good, we don’t yell or put another person down, etc. Create this document when things are going well in your household and commit to referring to it whenever a fight heats up and to remind others to do the same. The more everyone is involved with creating the family rules for conflict, the more members of the family will use it. 
2. Use a “Mom’s Timeout” – Timeouts are often used as punishment when a child misbehaves (for example, putting them in a corner or on a stair for a certain amount of time). This technique meets with varied success. In my book, I spend four pages discussing a “Mom’s Timeout.” How this activity works is that mom (or dad) takes the timeout instead of the child—disengaging from the conflict in order to return with a clear head. A calm demeanor is one of the key requirements to resolving conflict quickly. This strategy works all the time when used correctly. Why? Because, although a mom can’t ultimately control what her child does, she can control herself. 
3. Perform “Daring Do Overs” – We all make mistakes and say things that we wish we could take back. Instead of feeling guilty, use a “Daring Do Over.” This activity is like the rewind button for your mistake. It’s your “take two” opportunity in which you can do it all over again—only this time, better. This strategy not only decreases conflict, but also helps all members of the family to practice behaving well so there is a much better chance that we all do it better next time.

Many of us cringe at the thought of conflict; however, it is an unavoidable part of life. Although we can’t completely conflict proof ourselves, we can learn key conflict resolution skills that work well for us so we can move through conflict easily. If we also take the time to equip our children with the skills to solve conflicts that arise we set them up with life skills that serve them for the rest of their lives. With new skills your family members will not just survive conflict: they will actually thrive as a result. Great harmony like a melody from a string quartet is created by the tension of the strings. Learn to resolve conflict and you can experience household harmony.

About the Author
Kelly Nault, MA author of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You inspires moms to put themselves first—for the sake of their children. She shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! Sign up for her free online nine week parenting course here.

Before you had kids you probably witnessed an out of control child having a temper tantrum at the store. More than likely you thought or said, “If that was my child, I would ______”. Well now here you are with children of your own dealing with these exact situations. Temper tantrums are a normal part of life with toddlers and preschoolers. Almost all young children have tantrums occasionally. If handled appropriately, most children outgrow this stage by four or five.

Some children have severe tantrums and may get so upset that they vomit or hold their breath until they pass out. Although this can be extremely upsetting to the parent, the child will generally recover quickly and completely. If your child is fainting or vomiting from tantrums, you may want to consult your pediatrician to check for any other health concerns.

How you handle tantrums will have a direct impact on the frequency and intensity of the tantrums. Here are some tips on preventing tantrums and how to respond to them.

Make sure your child is not over-tired
If she is cranky or tired put her down for a nap or try doing some quiet time. You can lay down in the bed and read a book or play soothing music to help her relax.

Be consistent with your rules
If she has a tantrum and you give in to her demands, she will try this again. The more consistent you are, the more she will learn that tantrums don’t work.

When you ask your child to do something, try asking nicely first
“Mommy needs some help picking up the toys” usually goes over better than “get in here and pick up this mess!”

Don’t use bribery
Does she really deserve a cookie for going to bed on time or not misbehaving at the grocery store? By doing this you will only encourage her to break the rules to get a treat.

Don’t react to her by yelling at her to be quiet
This will probably only upset her more. Sometimes in the midst of an outburst it is hard for a child to regain composure. Help her to calm down by giving her some quiet time in her room. Offer her a cup of water to help her relax if she is hyperventilating.

Sometimes children have tantrums because they want your attention. Look at the situation. Have you been watching tv, reading a book, or talking on the phone? If your child hasn’t had much “mommy time”, she may be trying to tell you something. Once she has calmed down from her tantrum, try setting some time aside just for her.

If you are in a public place, remove the child from the situation if you can. Go to the car or the restroom until she calms down.

When to call the doctor
If you are concerned that your child’s tantrums are extreme or more frequent than they should be, call your pediatrician for help. If your child injures herself or others, destroys property, has frequent nightmares, regresses in potty training, faints, has stomach aches or anxiety attacks consult your doctor.

About The Author
Patty Hone is a wife and mommy to three kids. She is also co-owner of Justmommies.com. Justmommies is an online community of moms sharing the joys and struggles of motherhood. Message boards, chats, articles, parenting, pregnancy info and more. www.justmommies.com. email@justmommies.com

With 61% of children between the ages of birth and 6 years in daycare, it’s important that parents work closely with their child’s care professional while potty training. When you child is ready for potty training, the right potty training guidance and supplies can make all the difference.

Be Sure Your Child Is Ready – Before you begin potty training, make sure your child is ready. Your child should show the following signs of potty training readiness:

• Expresses an interest in the potty
• Tries to imitate family members
• Stays dry for two hours
• Express the need to go potty or indicates that he or she just has
• Able to pull pants up and down
• Irritated when diapers are wet
• Expresses interest in cotton underwear
• Has predictable bowel movements on a regular basis
• Diaper stays dry overnight

Introduce Potty Training
If your child is in daycare, he or she will probably notice that there are other children around who wear cotton underwear and use the potty. This kind of light peer pressure can motivate your child to want to use the potty as well. Start introducing the idea by watching a potty training book or video together. Be sure and tell your child’s daycare provider that you are beginning the potty training process. You child’s daycare provider can help by watching for signs of potty training readiness and answering questions from your child.

Discuss the Plan
When you begin potty training your child, discuss your plan with your child’s daycare worker. This person has probably potty trained many children and may have useful tips and tricks that he or she has found useful. Make sure your potty training methods are similar.

Set Potty Training Rules
Work together to set some basic potty training guidelines. For example, agree that neither of you will punish your child for accidents or that you’ll give stickers as rewards for using the potty. The potty training process will be easier for your child if both you and the child care worker are providing the same potty training guidance.

Progress Reports
Speak with the child care provider often to exchange progress reports. Both of you need to be aware of any successes or potential problems. If the daycare worker tells you that your child used the potty earlier that day, be sure and tell your child that that you heard about his or her success and that you are proud of him or her.

Copyright © 2004 ZIP Baby. All Rights Reserved.

Danna Henderson
ZIP Baby
101 Convention Center Drive, Ste 700
Las Vegas, NV 89109
www.zipbaby.com

About The Author
Danna Henderson started ZIP Baby in order to provide parents with comprehensive potty training information as well as a large variety of potty training products. For more information about potty training, visit the ZIP Baby Potty Training Store.

When preparing for the birth of your new grandchild, it is important that you sit down with your child and their partner. You will want to devise a plan. This plan is one of the first steps to avoid becoming an overbearing parent or grandparent. Having a mature discussion with your child will give them the opportunity to ask any questions that they may have. If you have any suggestions that you would like to offer, such as the taking of parenting classes or the setup of the nursery, you will want to offer these suggestions, but at the appropriate time and with a polite, helpful approach.

When a new child is born, many grandparents automatically go into the overbearing mode. This is something that you will want to avoid. Yes, you may know of a better way to hold your grandchild or sooth a fussy baby, but you may want to refrain from voicing your suggestions. This is especially important in the beginning. All parents must start somewhere. You will first want to give your son or daughter the opportunity to sooth their baby on their own, and so forth. You may want to provide your own tips should you not see any improvement or if you are asked for guidance.

As your grandchild ages, it is important that you maintain a constant presence in their life. With that in mind, it is important to remember your role as a grandparent. Often times, grandparents are found providing advice and other tips to their grandchildren. This is nice, but you will want to take steps to ensure that you do not upset your son or daughter or their partner. Grandparents who bypass the rules and restrictions of parents are not only deemed overbearing, but a nuisance by many.

In conclusion, you will want to offer helpful tips and suggestions to new parents, when you feel it is needed. Offering unwanted advice and assistance may not only have you labeled as an overbearing grandparent, but it may also complicate the relationship you have with your family, including your grandchild.

Question:
My child wants to eat only her two favorite foods: cereal and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She eats tiny amounts of any other food and complains about what’s put in front of her. What can I do about this?

Think about it:
As long as your child is healthy, and is of normal height and weight, relax your attitude about food. The more you worry and scold, the bigger battleground food will become. In addition, if you also have specific rules about food, and enforce them with a calm demeanor, you’ll have fewer battles.

Offer healthy choices:
Limit the high-fat and high-sugar foods that are available to your child. Offer healthy choices and don’t worry so much about the occasional food jags. Evaluate your child’s diet on a weekly, not daily, basis. Most kids, when given nutritious options, will eat a balanced diet when viewed over a weekly time period.

Schedule:
Have a specific schedule for meal time and snack time, and don’t allow snacking on unhealthy food at other times. (A piece of fruit or a veggie at any time is fine!) If your child is hungry when a meal is served she’ll more likely eat what’s put in front of her. Modify meal times, if possible, to take advantage of your child’s hungry parts of the day. As an example, most kids are truly hungry when they walk in the door after school. Take advantage of this by serving dinner at that time and a light snack later. This way, the kids will eat a healthy meal instead of filling up on snacks while they wait for dinner.

Serve smaller portions:
Your child’s stomach is about the size of her clenched fist, smaller than you thought! If you serve meals on smaller plates and include just a small amount of each food, the meal won’t appear so intimidating to your child.

Give in – a little:
Serve your child’s favorite food as a small side dish to meals. A half peanut butter and jelly sandwich makes a fine side dish to roasted chicken!

Create rules:
Do you remember eating the dinner your mother set in front of you without a fuss? Most of us do. The reason is that our mothers did not feel the ambivalence about serving meals that we do. Try to modify your way of thinking to one simple thought, “This is dinner. If you’re hungry eat, if not, you’re excused from the table.” Save a plate of dinner for your child, and if she’s hungry an hour later offer the dinner, and nothing else. Be consistent with this rule, and your child will begin to eat what’s served, just like you did when you were a kid.

One night off:
Allow your child the option to have toast or cereal for dinner one night a week, passing on a meal he doesn’t like. When he knows he can skip one meal he’ll make a decision to eat things that aren’t favorites, and save his “cereal day” for the day you’re having the food he likes least.

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the Author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

Are we there yet? How often do parents want to ask this question when traveling with a car full of unhappy, restless kids? By following a few guidelines, your next family trek can be a pleasant one.

Set the scene
Kids who are squished between bags and packages can get irritable, so don’t overpack the car. Put the kids in casual, layered clothing and bring along blankets and pillows for added comfort. Allow them to take off their jackets and shoes and to settle in for the ride.

Avoid boredom
Youthful energy that’s bursting at the seams prevents kids from enjoying a long immobile stint in the back seat. Head off boredom, and the ensuing misbehavior, by bringing along a backpack filled with activities for each child. Look for long-play items like travel games, playing cards, crayons and simple crafts.

Eat on the road
“Eating in the car can keep the kids happy,” suggests Elizabeth Pantley, parenting expert and author of Perfect Parenting: The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips. “Food serves multiple purposes. It keeps the kids’ blood sugar levels even, thus preventing fussiness. And snacking keeps the kids busy.” She suggests bringing along an assortment of snacks, including items that take a long time to eat, like lollipops and dried fruit.

Pantley also recommends grabbing meals to go from family-friendly restaurants. “Look for restaurants that offer wholesome food choices as well as entertainment value, such as the KFC Kids Laptop Pack ? which offers kid-friendly favorites like chicken legs with healthful side items like green beans. It’s served in a flip-top box that’s easy for kids to balance on their little laps with entertaining, educational games and activities to keep them happy and busy throughout the ride.”

Publish car rules
Before you embark on your journey, write down a set of car rules. Keep hands to yourself…Use a quiet voice…Clean up your trash…are just a few simple rules. Pantley warns that a lack of rules invites misbehavior. “When your expectations are clear, simple and exact, children behave better,” she says. A few instructions can keep the peace.

Involve the kids
Pantley suggests that you provide the kids with a map, colored pencils, a compass and a journal so that they can follow and record the journey. “You can even give them a calculator ? so when they ask, ’How long ‘til we get there?’ you can teach them how to figure it out themselves!”

Following a few of these suggestions won’t banish “Are we there yet?” from your traveling child’s vocabulary ? but he or she just might ask the question with a smile.

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

When I found out I was pregnant and began to plan for my son, Cole, the choice to breastfeed wasn’t much of a choice, I figured why not? Not only was it the most natural way to feed my child, but also it was nutritious (while building your child’s immune system) as well as cost effective. I had NO idea how much more important, more amazing breastfeeding would become.

What No One Ever Told Me
No one told me the following things about breastfeeding, which I hope are helpful to you. In the first couple weeks your baby will be nursing VERY often, plan on devoting the majority of your time to nursing, sleeping and eating. Ask for help – don’t feel like you have to keep a clean house, let others help. This bonding time will only happen once, and it will be gone before you know it.

Keep food and water close by. I can assure you that as soon as you get the baby to sleep your tummy will start to rumble and you won’t want the little one to wake up. Also use comfortable pillows and wear comfortable-cuddly clothes. You will want to be relaxed and intimate. Let me stress that you will spend a large amount of time nursing – so be patient and relax. You probably want to leave the home for a while, which is understandable. It will be awhile before you feel comfortable taking your baby out in the world and before you have enough time between feedings.

The Do’s and Don’t of Eating
Not until Cole was on my chest after his birth did I fully understand the decision I had made to breast-feed. I suddenly realized that everything I ate would be directly given to him, just as when I was pregnant. Now that I had met my little boy it was even more important to feed him correctly. Some basic rules about your diet during breast-feeding:

1. Drink LOTS of water, this will not only keep you refreshed and losing weight, it will help with milk production.
2. Eat small healthy snacks throughout the day to keep your energy up. Finger foods are great, since they aren’t messy and can be kept handy. Try grapes, trail mix, graham crackers, cheerios, and baby carrots- anything small and easy to clean up will do the trick.
3. Think BEFORE you eat! Your baby will not enjoy Mexican, Chinese or any other spicy foods. The last thing you want to do is give your baby gas, or worse.
4. If you don’t have a good memory, keep a journal of what you eat. This will help determine what foods you eat may be causing an upset stomach for your little one. I found out after a couple tries that green apples gave my son a terrible tummy ache, needless to say I don’t eat them anymore.
5. Avoid fish – mercy found in fish has been found questionable by several sources. If you have questions talk with you physician.

Basic Rules of Breastfeeding

1. Talk and work with your doctor- they can make sure your child is gaining enough weight.
2. Set a Goal “I will breastfeed until he is at least 2 months old” or whatever you are comfortable with, this will affirm your decision and make an easy goal in sight. And who knows you may outlast your goal.
3. Find a mother group, hospital help line or use the La Leche League International website. You will have questions and you will need support!
4. Be patient, your milk supply will come, probably just when you have given up.
5. Take care of yourself! If you don’t take care of you- who will take care of the baby?
6. Be willing to make sacrifices, feedings will be on your child’s scheduled- and pretty often in the beginning.
7. Pick a comfortable spot to nurse like the rocking chair, or a comfy recliner, but stick to it as often as possible. Your baby will associate that area with you and nursing and will be comforted as soon as you sit there.

A Surprise
On about day four, I woke up from a nap, since Cole hadn’t slept much the night before, and my chest hurt SO badly! I freaked out, they were hard as a rock, and Cole had a hard time latching on. It was the weekend so my doctor wasn’t in, so I called my Doula – thank God for Doulas! Not only did she get me through the labor, she was a source of information, and she too had be through the hard chest.

This is a common occurrence, be prepared and don’t be scared. A couple good ways to deal with this – take a hot shower and let the water run on your chest. This will help start the movement of milk and will also relax you. You can also use cold packs or cold frozen veggies on your chest – but I found a hot shower worked best.

You will also have to message them to help release some milk manually and make it easier for your baby to latch on. Once he/she latches on and begins to nurse it will get easier, this may last up to two days – like it did for me! Just be patient, it will get better, I promise.

Other possible problems/pains – dry cracked nipples, bleeding nipples, or a baby who finds it hard to latch or seem uninterested. I have never had any of these problems, but I know they can all be worked on and possibly fixed with some determination and help from one of the above-mentioned resources.

Breastfeeding On The Go
I would like to think I have mastered the art of breastfeeding on the go – although I am sure I will still find struggles along the way. First and foremost be prepared. You may now asking, how do I make sure I am prepared to nurse my baby anywhere we go? First, always bring a blanket. The blankets you use for a baby bundle or baby burrito are perfect. You want a lightweight blanket in the summer and a warmer, fuzzy blanket in the winter.

When you pack your diaper bag, along with diapers pack a blanket. Check to make sure it is in your diaper bag every time you leave the house, this will become a routine. You may even want to pack one in the car, just in case. With a blanket, you can cover up a nurse anywhere you can find a seat.

Other important tips- invest in some comfortable nursing bras, this is a necessity. I have found the sports bra like ones with snaps at the top are easiest to reattach, while being modest. When you are going out with the baby consider what you wear, so you have easy access to your chest. You may like t-shirts, tank tops you can pull down, wrap shirts, button down shirts or even the specialty made nursing clothes. Avoid anything that would be complicated to lower or lift quickly. With the proper attire and a blanket you can nurse anywhere.

Are you still nervous? I was too, for a while. But I finally learned that people may look quickly to see what you are doing, but if you can nurse the baby before he is beginning to fuss or cry than you can avoid extra attention. As long as you are fully covered, which you brought a cover for, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Remember you are providing nourishment, comfort, and love to your child in the most natural way possible.

Working and Nursing…The Most Difficult Task
When I reluctantly went back to work after six short weeks, I knew breastfeeding was going to be hard, but I wasn’t about to give up on my goal of nursing my son for the first vital year of his life. The most helpful thing possible is a great breast pump.

Now I didn’t say good, I said GREAT! You will be pumping forever, and not get very good results with a hand held, cheap pump. I was given a Pump-In-Style that was so helpful. It plugs into the wall (make sure you have an outlet where you will be pumping), and has a refrigeration cubby where I put cold packs in to keep my milk cold and fresh.

Talk with your employer, let them know you will need time to pump, as well as a clean, private area to pump in. If they value you they will help with these things. You must pump to maintain your milk supply, and to have more for while you are away, and hopefully to build up stock.

Why Than Would You Breastfeed?
With all I have mentioned to you may be wondering, why breastfeed? Beyond the fact that it is the best source of nutrition for your child, it provides the most amazing bonding experience. There is nothing more incredible in the world than staring into the eyes of your child while being as close as you can possibly be. My sons eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue/gray and they look like puddles of water dancing around. When we cuddle down and nurse I can get lost in his eyes and the whole world disappears.

You will not regret a moment spent solely devoted to your child, and nursing is one of the easiest ways to get that time. So make nursing your plan for as long as you can, not only for his health, but also for your bond. You will learn to love him or her more everyday!

Encourage Others To Breastfeed!
Please encourage others to breastfeed and enjoy the many benefits of the decision to breastfeed. To help have them read this article and the article available at the link below. You will be amazed at the data showing why breastfeeding is so beneficial and totally worth the effort. Enjoy your baby!

About the Author
Carmen Shuey is the owner of CT Toys which specializes in toys and articles for babies and children.