Security items bring comfort to babies and toddlers alike. A pacifier or bottle creates a sucking motion that often calms and puts a baby to sleep. This is especially true for babies who have been or are breastfed and found comfort and relaxation while nursing. What makes it hard is trying to take the bottle or pacifier away from a toddler that is attached to it and doesn’t want to let go.

A favorite toy can cause anxiety and tears when left at the park or forgotten at home when you head for an overnight visit to grandmas. Many kids will not go to sleep or calm down if they can not hold onto their first teddy bear, or stuffed animal they lovingly call, “Me Me” when they settle in for the night after hearing their favorite book. Without a distraction when this item is not there, a parent may have a very hard time getting their baby to go down for the night.

Whether you realize it or not, you probably do the same thing. When you get upset or anxious you may go looking for something to bring you some peace. Maybe you get that by reading a book, taking a bath or calling an old friend but when you find it you feel instantly better. This is what your baby is doing with his security item, making himself feel better.

At some point as a parent you will want to teach your child how to function without this object always having to be lugged along. You don’t want your kindergartener going to school with a pacifier in his mouth, or your preschooler not napping because he doesn’t have his blanket “whoopee”. There are many ways you can wean your kids off these items from doing it cold turkey to being gradual about it. Some believe cold turkey is too hard for the child, while other think out of sight out of mind is better than the tease of doing it gradually. As a parent you have to make the decision that is best for your family.

The necessity to return to a normal, active life is unavoidable no mater if we talk about shopping and personal problems, or about evenings, in case you return to a social life similar to the period preceding the pregnancy. Subsequently to the beginning period of the relation mother – child when they were inseparable, gradually there is felt the need to return to older habits that restore the feeling of normality.

The feeling of guilt should be kept under control, especially if everything is all right, for the equilibrium of both mother and child. Gradually, both ought to learn to move away from each other, and the child will understand that the mother does not exclusively belong to him.

When there are no close friends or family who can come to take care of the child, the only solution is to appeal to a baby-sitter.

It is always better to entrust the child, especially for the first time, to a person you already know, or to a person who was recommended to you and you can trust completely. Maybe during the previous weeks a young woman helped you with housekeeping? In this case, resort to her: the baby already knows her, which is an advantage. If you do not know the person who will come in your absence, ask him/her to come the day before, in order to see how he/she behaves with the baby and to make his/her acquaintance. It has no importance whether there is a girl or a boy, a younger person or an older one. What is essential is not the experience he/she has with children, but the goodness of the heart and the common sense. What matters is to find a trustworthy, sure person, who loves kids and makes kind gestures.

What you should do?

What about the separation?
Warn the child that you will be absent for a while and say good bye to him/her. Even if the child does not understand the exact meaning of the words, your voice will calm him/her down. Say good bye before leaving. The baby is more sensitive to the anxiety of the mother than to the fact that she leaves it for a few hours under the care of another person; for this reason, once the decision has been taken and everything has been organized very well, go lightheartedly and enjoy yourself. If everything gets on well, call that baby-sitter next time as well: he/she will get used to the baby and the baby with him/her.

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