Haven’t you noticed that if you do not take care of yourself by having enough time for yourself you are much more irritable with your mate and children? Whether your job is being with your children all day, or you work out of the home all day, or you work in your home and tend to your children all day – you need some time for yourself.

When my children were small it was challenging to find the time for myself. I worked at home, tended to my children, and had very little money for household help. Yet if I didn’t have time to myself to read, take a bath, do creative stuff or just stare at a flower, I had a hard time being a patient, loving and fun mom.

What I did at that time is seek out adolescents who loved playing with little kids. I hired them (for not a lot of money – they were delighted to earn a little spending money and get to play with children as well) to play with my kids while I was in the house taking time for myself. After an hour or so of restful or creative time, I was filled up enough within to be able to give to my children. When I didn’t take this time, my own Inner Child would feel unloved, unimportant and resentful.

A part of good parenting is letting your children know that their needs are neither more nor less important than yours. In the past, children were supposed to be seen and not heard and were given the message that adults were more important than children. In more recent times, many children are given the message that their needs and feelings are more important than adults’ needs. Neither message is based on the truth of the equality of each soul. For children to understand this equality, parents need to role model loving their children and loving themselves – not one at the expense of the other. If children are taught that adults are more important then children, the children learn to be caretakers, putting themselves aside in deference to others. If children are taught that children are more important than adults, they learn to be brats, demanding attention and not caring about others. This is just one of the reasons why it is so important for parents to take responsibility for caring about themselves – for lovingly parenting the child within.

It might be helpful to imagine that you have an actual child that lives inside you. You are the mom and dad for this child. You are the only one who can feel and hear this child’s needs and who can take action on behalf of this child. You already know what happens if you ignore the needs of your actual children. In some way or another, they will act out until they get the love and attention they need. The same is true for your Inner Child. Our Inner Child, which is our feeling self, can even cause us to be sick if we don’t pay attention to him or her. Your Inner Child lets you know when you are not being loving to him or her with anxiety, stress, anger, or resentment. When you are feeling these feelings, instead of looking outside yourself for the cause, look at whether or not you are lovingly parenting yourself. It is one of the best things you can do for you and for your children. (For help in self-parenting through the Inner Bonding process, See our FREE Course at www.innerbonding.com).

About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Being sick is miserable. Fevers, chills, sore throats, and difficulty in breathing can make basic functioning a very tiring process. When it hurts to get out of bed, it can hurt to pick up your baby, feed him, change his diaper and get him dressed. Unfortunately parenting is one job where you can’t call in a sick day.

Young Baby
When you are sick it is best to remember to take as few steps as possible when it comes to doing for your baby. If your baby is young enough, have him lay in bed with you, and keep a pile of diapers and wipes nearby. If you are breastfeeding your baby you will need to be sure to keep your fluid intake up, and try to eat when you can. With everything within arms reach and your baby’s food readily available then you can spend most of your time resting, trying to get well. If your baby is formula fed then you can make one trip to the kitchen to collect a few bottles, formula and a pitcher or bottle of water so that you can easily make bottles for your baby without having to get out of bed too often.

Older Baby/Toddler
With an older baby or toddler, it might be easier to move yourself to another room, where most of the child’s toys are, or to move some toys to the living room so you can lounge on the couch. Have movies handy to help keep your baby entertained. If he is eating finger foods, you can have some of his favorites within your reach to give to him. This will help you keep your energy up as you are able to rest more, while helping your baby stay busy.

Accept Help
You have to remember that you can not do it all when it comes to taking care of yourself and your baby when you are sick. If you have friends or family that offer to take your baby or offer to come over and help at your house, let them. Don’t refuse the help and assistance when you are at your worst. You can’t take care of your baby properly if you are not well, and it may take you longer to get better if you can’t properly take care of yourself. The sooner you can get to be 100%, the sooner you are able to play with and enjoy your baby again.

Remember You Aren’t Alone
You aren’t the first mom, nor are you the first parent to get sick while having to take care of your baby. For as long as there have been mothers and babies, there have been sick moms and sick babies. Give yourself proper time and space to get well and you will be back to running around like crazy, changing diapers, doing laundry and cleaning the spit up before you know it.

So what is the NICU and why would your baby have to go there? The NICU is a specialized nursery with specialized nurses that is put in place to help babies who are born with problems. The most common reason for a baby to be placed in the NICU is because they are born premature, or too early to survive out of the womb on their own. It has special equipment designed to quickly stabilize your baby and help him get healthy enough for you to take home, as soon as possible.

Reasons your baby may go to the NICU vary, but can include:

• Being born prematurely
• Difficulties occur during birth
• Problems arise within the few days immediately following birth

Only the youngest of babies are treated in the NICU, normally babies who have not yet been sent home from the hospital. If you are sent home with a healthy baby and he later has to be hospitalized in intensive care, he will generally go to the pediatric intensive care unit, or PICU.

Babies who are sent to the NICU are normally given more hands on care by the nurses, and rarely is the nurse taking care of more than 2 babies at a time. However, not only does your baby have his nurse taking care of him, there is also the nurse in charge of the shift to help, as well as other additional doctors and nurses who specialize in different areas of neonatal care. These may include:

• Neonatologist
• Medical residents and students
• Respiratory specialists
• Nutritionists
• Physical Therapists
• Pharmacists
• Other specialists
• Hospital Chaplain
• Social Worker

Depending on the problems your baby is experiencing you may meet all or just a few of the above hospital staff during your baby’s stay in the hospital.

Be sure to write down all your questions if you are not at the hospital when you think of them to ask immediately. You will have many questions arise regarding the health and care of your baby including, “What is wrong with my baby? How long will my baby be here? Is my baby ok?” You will have new questions and concerns coming up daily that you will want to get answers too as soon as possible. Remember, besides taking care of your baby, the nurse is there to answer your questions and reassure you.

The NICU is likely to seem very much like another planet when you walk in. There may be several babies in the NICU at once. It will probably be very quiet in there as parents sit with their babies and talk to them, and the nurse’s move around quietly taking care of babies. At times it may be very bright in the room, although often it will be darker while the babies sleep. Even though there are parents with their babies and nurses moving around, it will seem silent as the many machines around you are beeping.

If your baby is going to be in the NICU for a while, it is important that you find ways early on to make it manageable for you. Explore the hospital, the cafeteria, the surrounding restaurants and hotels so that you know quickly and easily where you can stay if needed and where you can eat. Find a quiet place in the hospital where you can lay down to rest during the day if necessary. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Try to remain positive for your baby, and keep yourself rested so that you can properly care for your baby when you bring him home.

When in doubt it is never wrong to call up your baby’s pediatrician to ask for advice. Sometimes a simple call may help you feel more relaxed, or the nurse may have a hint to help relieve your baby’s discomfort. In the end it is important to remember that your doctor is not only there for well-checks, but also for sick baby calls.

Colds
Little coughs, a hardly heard sneeze, watery eyes and a runny nose can hit your baby as hard as it hits you. There are several different things you can try to do to help relieve your baby’s discomfort. First, ask your doctors what medicines you can give your baby. There are several items on the market made specifically for babies. Make sure you ask your pediatrician first however, and follow dosing instructions precisely. Second, invest in a humidifier. Often changing the air around your baby can help clear his head and chest. Third, make use of the “bulb” you are given in the hospital that they use to suction out your baby’s nose. They are too young at this point to understand how to blow their nose, so the only way to help them clear their sinuses is the bulb. As much as your baby may hate it and cry, it is a great tool for you.

Fever
When is your baby’s fever too high? There is no “right” answer to this question. A lot of it depends on your baby’s health since birth. Was he full term or premature? Has he been sick a lot or healthy for the most part? At your baby’s next well-check be sure to ask your pediatrician what degree of temperature he would suggest you call his office about. Some doctors will say 100 degrees, others may say to wait till it is a minimum of 102 degrees or slightly above. It is best to find out the answer to this question before you need it. Also, be sure to ask your pediatrician what medications he thinks is ok for you to give your baby when he spikes a fever.

Hospitalization
Occasionally your baby will get an illness that will cause him to be hospitalized for anywhere from a few hours to possibly several days. This is hardest on parents especially if there are IVs and tubes involved. It is best to remember during this time to ask a lot of questions and not to be afraid to ask for a second opinion. In most cases a hospital will allow at least one parent to spend the night at the hospital with your baby. If your baby is breastfed or you co-sleep with him, don’t be afraid to ask the hospital to get you a real hospital bed so that you can curl up next to your baby and help him get the most rest possible. Babies are very intuitive and yours will know when you are upset, scared, sad or happy. Try not to panic in front of your baby. Keeping a calm hospital room will help your baby stay calm and relaxed as well.

Remember, your baby getting sick is a part of life. He will have many more healthy days than he does sick days, but the sick days will come. Try to keep your wits about you, don’t be afraid to call the doctors, and give your baby some extra cuddles while they get better. Luckily, your baby is too young to remember being sick and will forget about it much sooner than you will.

Baby sickness – is always a hard trial for family, and if the matter concerns baby’s hospitalization, then you can become panic-stricken only at the thought of the fact that a baby will be estranged from his family, painful procedures expect him, and strangers will surround him.

Because of hospitalization, a baby can get the whole complex of serious psychological problems, caused by sickness, isolation from home and conditions of hospital. Even adult person experiences stress, when he needs to apply to a doctor and moreover, while necessity of long staying in hospital. Needless to say about baby’s stress! Strange atmosphere, strange people, new, constantly renewed children collective, forced separation from parents, fear of medical procedures – all this is quite enough for psychological discomfort. And all these factors accompany symptoms of disease.

However, you should not dramatize situation. Of course, disease and necessity of hospitalization – are traumatizing factors. But for majority of children staying at hospital can become an important stage in formation of personality, bring lots of new impressions and knowledge, and give possibility to try themselves in difficult life circumstances. This experience will be useful in further life of a child.

Processes of adaptation are individual for each child. This depends on many reasons: whether he had diseases earlier, stage of disease, is he staying at hospital for the first time or not, baby’s age, whether he was separated from his family before etc. Often everything passes quite smoothly, due to presence of inner reserves of a baby and correct behavior of parents.

It’s quite normal, if period of adaptation at hospital lasts during 3-5 days. There are no reasons for anxiety, if a baby is rather careless during first days of hospitalization, asks to take him home, gets into contact with coevals not at once. Excess care and parental inclination for dramatizing situation can only damage. On the other hand, you should not leave a baby alone with his problems. He should not feel abandoned and lonely.

Quite often parents of sick children need more psychological help, then children themselves, as it is their correct behavior that influences a baby’s mood for recovery.

Here are several recommendations of experts. Never frighten your baby with hospital. Do not create future problems, as there is hardly any baby, who has not been at hospital for his life. During conversations with other people avoid such phrases, like: “There doctors hardly understand something, I wish only they do not harm my child” etc.

In case of baby hospitalization do your best to reduce stress and melancholy because of coming separation from home and parents. Adults themselves should be confident in future, calm and wise, so that a baby would treat staying at hospital calmly. If hospitalization is planned and you have at least 1-2 days for preparation, involve baby in preparations, as if he would be going to health centre or camp.

Try to dispose your baby to optimism. Children have great intuition, and it’s almost impossible to persuade them in things, which you don’t believe yourself in. So, first of all you should analyze your own emotions and forget about affirmation: “Hospital – pain, fear, danger”. Replace it by “Hospital – help, relieve, recovery”. You confidence and peace of mind will be passed to your daughter and son. Talk to your child about coming hospitalization softly-softly. You can explain to schoolchild, that sickness is not a catastrophe, but a peculiar exam for courage and firmness. Tell your child that you will be thinking of him constantly and you’re always ready to help him. Think and discuss ways of your contacts.

During separation avoid touching scenes, restrain excessive emotions. Try to behave the way, so that a baby would treat hospital not as punishment, but as a place, where he will be helped to recover sooner and return to usual life. Form positive attitude, both to improvement of health and doctors’ work. Explain your child an objective necessity of medical assistance.

Don’t persuade him that he is guilty of his sickness, trauma etc. himself. By doing this, you will increase sense of guilt and fear, which can cause undesirable psychological complications. Of course, there’re situations, when it is important to discuss wrong behavior of a child, which caused disease. But it is also very important that a result of your conversation would be not a sense of guilt, but understanding of cause and effect connection between wring behavior and disease.

Discuss schedule of visiting a child with relatives for sure, to avoid situations, when there’re several visits per one day and no visits at all other day. This is very important, as excess of visitors can lead to emotional overloads of a sick baby, and their absence – to increase of longing for home and relatives.

Try not to hung up on topic of disease and treatment. Life goes on. Ask your child about his new friends, news, what he does in spare time. Keep all your doubts concerning effectiveness of treatment inside of you. Don’t overload patient with your doubts and fears. As medicine, which you doubt, will not help, as doctor, whom you don’t trust, won’t be able to help. Try to avoid unpleasant topics, wait a little with information about bad news: sick baby need not to know that his favorite doggie eats bad or that cat ate hamster. While talking to a baby, pay attention to positive moments of staying at hospital. Think about things you can compliment him for: he bears procedures with fortitude, does not play about, could make friends with somebody, drew a good picture etc.

Unfilled spare time increases feeling of loneliness, longing for home. So you should definitely worry about things your child should do. Bring him an interesting book, meccano, some new game, paints, crayons etc. Bring a toy for a small baby surely. You can tell that a new “friend” came to him specially to protect him at nights (if a baby is predisposed to night fears). It will be very good, if you bring him a toy bear, elephant, lion, tiger, i.e. any big animal, which will be able to personify power and protection (size of toy is not important).

After discharge talk to your baby about time he spent at hospital. Ask him about things he learned to do, what he understood about himself and his relations with other people, help him to realize value of experience he gained.

About the Author:
Yana Mikheeva is the creator of Baby Health Directory – Pregnancy, Birth, Parenting and Baby Care resources. Are you going to get pregnant? Visit our friendly resource and read information on pregnancy and parenting, painless childbirth, growth and development of a baby, baby health, safety, signs of pregnancy.

She also has All about women site where you can find articles on various subjects, such as: diets, receipts, health, cellulite, figure, aromatherapy, wholesome food, psychology of relationships, pregnancy, parenting, fashion and many others.