by Kathryn Sansone

Children are under tremendous pressure to succeed, and parents feel tremendous pressure to help them succeed. But what does success mean? Going to the right school? Getting straight As in all subjects? Winning an athletic scholarship? Sure, those are laudable goals, but they may not necessarily mean your child will be happy or feel successful. To me, success means helping our children understand who they are, giving them opportunities to discover what interests them, and guiding and supporting their attempts to use their gifts to their fullest potential.

That said, parents need to keep in mind that all children are different. They come into this world with their own unique personality, temperament, skills, and interests. Parents must help each individual child find his or her own interests.

We can also help our kids become self-reliant by helping them to learn to make decisions for themselves. Heaven knows, we are not going to be around to do things for them forever. Self-reliance is the umbrella that enables children to know themselves, accept themselves (i.e., their strengths and weaknesses), and develop the confidence to make the best possible choices for themselves. Learning to make sound decisions means giving your kids the opportunity to try new things, allowing them some freedom to make their own choices, and helping them accept and learn from their mistakes.

Teaching kids to be self-reliant also involves helping them learn to accept life’s inevitable losses as well as wins. When our kids win or succeed we always give them a hearty congratulations and let them know how proud we are of them. And while we praise their performance, we also make sure they know we are really proud of them for trying so hard and winning. When they don’t succeed, we do the very same thing: We give them a big hug and a warm congratulations and we let them know that we value them, their hard work, and their great sportsmanship. We look for them to do their best — win or lose — and use the gifts God gave them to their fullest potential.

Share Your Own Losses
One of the best ways we can teach our kids the value of success and failure is by sharing our own successes and failures. When my kids lose an important game or do poorly on a test, I recall the story of when I lost in an important tennis match. After getting into the finals of a championship, my doubles partner and I lost. Was I disappointed, my kids want to know? Of course. But it didn’t stop me from continuing to enjoy tennis and play in matches.

Kids need to know that failing — or not winning — is part of playing the game. We all lose some and win some. Kids need to become comfortable with both the idea and the reality that practice is necessary, that we are not perfect, and that there is always another chance to get another, perhaps better, result.

Reprinted from Woman First, Family Always: Real-Life Wisdom from a Mother of Ten by Kathryn Sansone. Copyright © 2006 Kathryn Sansone. Published by Meredith Books; January 2006; $24.95US/$34.95CAN; 069622832-7

About the Author
Kathryn Sansone has captured national attention for her heartwarming and hands-on approach to managing motherhood and life. She has been interviewed for Inside Edition and magazines such as Parents, Fit Pregnancy, and Child, and been honored as Chief Everything Officer by America Online. Kathryn lives in St. Louis with her husband, Jim, and their ten children, ranging in age from eight months to eighteen years. For more information, please visit www.kathrynsansone.com.

It’s helpful for a woman who wants to breast-feed to learn as much about it as possible before delivery, while she is not exhausted from caring for an infant around-the-clock. The following tips can help foster successful nursing:

• Get an early start: Nursing should begin within an hour after delivery if possible, when the infant is awake and the sucking instinct is strong. Even though the mother won’t be producing milk yet, her breasts contain colostrum, a thin fluid that contains antibodies to disease.
• Proper positioning: The baby’s mouth should be wide open, with the nipple as far back into his or her mouth as possible. This minimizes soreness for the mother. A nurse, midwife, or other knowledgeable person can help her find a comfortable nursing position.
• Nurse on demand: Newborns need to nurse frequently, about every two hours, and not on any strict schedule. This will stimulate the mother’s breasts to produce plenty of milk. Later, the baby can settle into a more predictable routine. But because breast milk is more easily digested than formula, breast-fed babies often eat more frequently than bottle-fed babies.
• No supplements: Nursing babies don’t need sugar water or formula supplements. These may interfere with their appetite for nursing, and that can lead to a diminished milk supply. The more the baby nurses, the more milk the mother will produce.
• Delay artificial nipples: It’s best to wait a week or two before introducing a pacifier, so that the baby doesn’t get confused. Artificial nipples require a different sucking action than real ones. Sucking at a bottle could also confuse some babies in the early days. They, too, are learning how to breast-feed.
• Air dry: In the early postpartum period or until her nipples toughen, the mother should air dry them after each nursing to prevent them from cracking, which can lead to infection. If her nipples do crack, the mother can coat them with breast milk or other natural moisturizers to help them heal. Vitamin E oil and lanolin are commonly used, although some babies may have allergic reactions to them. Proper positioning at the breast can help prevent sore nipples. If the mother’s very sore, the baby may not have the nipple far enough back in his or her mouth.
• Watch for infection: Symptoms of breast infection include fever and painful lumps and redness in the breast. These require immediate medical attention.
• Expect engorgement: A new mother usually produces lots of milk, making her breasts big, hard and painful for a few days. To relieve this engorgement, she should feed the baby frequently and on demand until her body adjusts and produces only what the baby needs. In the meantime, the mother can take over-the-counter pain relievers, apply warm, wet compresses to her breasts, and take warm baths to relieve the pain.
• Eat right, get rest: To produce plenty of good milk, the nursing mother needs a balanced diet that includes 500 extra calories a day and six to eight glasses of fluid. She should also rest as much as possible to prevent breast infections, which are aggravated by fatigue.

–R.D.W.

About the Article:
Provided by FDA.

Your baby wants to communicate with you! He really does, even if he isn’t always successful. His squeals of glee, screams of joy and tears of sorrow are all ways that he tried to communicate his happiness, sadness and frustration with you. You may be looking for a way to better communicate with your baby. If so, consider baby sign language.

Sign language has been the language of the deaf and mute for hundreds of years. It is the way that those who can not communicate with words, communicate with their loved ones and the rest of the world. It only makes sense that you could learn some simple sign language and teach it to your baby as a way to allow him to communicate with you, before he is able to form the words that he needs.

There are a few tips to remember and get started with when it comes to learning to sign with your baby. They are basic and will almost guarantee you success.

One Sign at a Time
Choose one sign to begin with and make it one you will use often. Many parents choose milk, more, eat, drink or a favorite toy. Repeating these easy signs until your baby catches on is a great place to start and a great way to get your baby accustomed to the signing.

Show Your Child
Show your child the sign when talking about an activity as well as when you are doing the activity. Make sure you are repeating yourself as often as possible so that your baby can see what you are doing and start associating the action with the sign.

Repeat the Sign
Use the sign before, during, and after the activity. Repeat it every time you do it more than once and your baby will quickly pick up on the relationship between that sign and what you are doing. Soon he will be able to mimic you and do the sign as well.

Wait Until Your Baby Signs Back
In order to not confuse your baby, use one sign until your baby begins to sign back to you. Once he is correctly communicating that need with you, you can choose another sign and start the process over again. The more your baby learns, the easier it will be for him to pick up a new one.

Have Fun
Signing with your baby can be a lot of fun. Not only will it make communicating easier, but it can make dinner time quieter since your baby can make the sign for milk or for more when he is hungry or thirsty. You are sure to get a lot of comments at restaurants about how quiet your baby is and about what a good boy he is. This will in part be because your baby can easily communicate with you to make his needs known.

By Jackie Durnin

1. Stay simple and start slowly.
When you introduce signing to your baby, gradually introduce the signs one at a time. It is recommended to begin with approximately five words and once your baby has begun to respond to those words, you can introduce more. Sign language can be a slow process depending on the age of your baby when you begin. A six-month-old who is introduced to signing may begin signing back to you anywhere from one month to six months later; it simply depends on each individual child.

2. Be patient.
Every parent has the ability to teach his or her baby sign language. A major downfall for some parents is their lack of patience. Signing is not something that will happen overnight, it is a relatively slow process depending on each individual baby. Do not be discouraged. Your baby is learning from you and will, when the time is right, let you know that they understand through signing. This learning process introduces invaluable interaction with your baby. Do not give up whatever you do. Be patient and reap the rewards of sign language.

3. Be consistent.
Once you have decided on your initial five words, be consistent in using them with your baby. For example, if you are using the sign ‘milk’ with your baby and introduce this sign when you are feeding your baby, be sure to continue to use it every time you feed your baby. If you only use this sign now and again, your baby is less likely to understand that this sign represents ‘milk’. They may think it is simply a game you are playing with them. The key here is to incorporate sign into your everyday life. Each time you use the word ‘milk’, develop an automatic reaction to sign and say the word out loud. Repetition is the key to success.

4. Sign on your baby’s level.
When you interact with your baby, it is important that you are on their level. Keep your facial expressions and signs within their field of vision. This ensures that your baby is seeing the correct way to sign the word. By signing at an angle to your baby, your baby’s view of your sign may be totally different to the one that you are attempting to create.

5. Use baby sign language in context.
When teaching baby sign language, it is important to relate the word to the current situation or feeling of the moment. There is no point in attempting to introduce your baby to a sign when that particular sign represents something that has happened in the past. For example, if you go for a walk with your baby and see a dog on your walk, there is no point on the following day, in signing the word ‘dog’ and saying “Remember the dog we saw yesterday in the park.” Australian Baby Hands recommends finding as many situations as possible, in the present time, to use the sign that you are attempting to teach. For instance, use the sign for ‘dog’ as you read a story about a dog, watch a dog on television or point at your family pet.

6. Always use the sign and the spoken word together.
Ensure that each time you sign a word; you accompany it with the spoken word. This enables your child to make the connection between the two more quickly.

7. Use motivating signs.
It is important when choosing your initial words that you use a combination of ‘practical’ words and ‘motivating’ words.

‘Practical’ words highlight words that will make you and your baby’s life easier once sign language is in use in your home. These words are more general words and include words such as eat, drink, change, pain, sleep etc.

It is important to balance these words with words that are motivating or interesting to your baby. ‘Motivating’ words may include words such as teddy bear, ball, play etc. These are specific things that your baby may have shown an interest in.

8. Teach family members and caregivers.
It is important to introduce the signs you are using with your baby to people who are in contact with your baby on a regular basis. This will ensure consistency. The more your baby sees the signs, the sooner your baby will begin to sign back. Childcare facilities are slowly beginning to introduce signing to their day care so be sure to continually update them on what signs you are using with your baby.

9. Use an appropriate facial expression with a sign.
This is especially important when teaching feelings or sensations to your child. Sign language is a very visual language and members of the deaf community use their face as part of the signing process. When expressing a feeling, allow your face to vividly illustrate the feeling. A feeling of happiness can be illustrated with a big smiling face while signing and saying the word. A feeling of fear can be illustrated with frowning eyebrows or a startled look. Some words do not require or do not have an obvious facial expression. To animate your face is initially a little strange for beginners to sign language. To practice, stand in front of a mirror and see if you would know from your facial expression what word you are trying to sign. Remember you are better to over-express than under-express your signs with your face.

10. Encourage your baby’s attempts.
When your baby begins to sign, they probably will not initially get the sign 100% correct. It is important though to praise them for their efforts and repeat the sign correctly back to them. When the child is showing you that they need something, give it to them, even if the sign is only approximately correct. They will begin to realise that it works!

11. Have fun!
Sign language is a beautiful visual language and not one to get stressed about. If you are stressed when signing, your baby will pick up on this. Signing should be fun for you and your baby. It should not feel like a chore but be a part of your everyday life. Relax, have fun and enjoy the benefits that this wonderful language can bring to you and your baby.

About the Author:
Jackie Durnin is the Author of “Australian Baby Hands”, the first book to use Auslan, Australian Sign Language to communicate with your baby. Australian Baby Hands is currently being implemented by parents and Childcare centres around NAustralia. For more details go to http://www.australianbabyhands.com where you can register for your “FREE” alphabet chart. For further information info@australianbabyhands.