Sleep! That wonderful time where you get to lay down, close your eyes, and enjoy a comfortable, uninterrupted, peaceful night’s sleep at the end of a long day. Unless of course, you are pregnant!

After a woman’s baby is born the advice you will probably most often hear her give is, “Sleep while you can!”, however this is really easier said than done. Most pregnant women are awakened at least once or twice during the night from the beginning of their pregnancies to a bladder that is calling and just can’t wait till morning. If they are lucky, this will slow down during the second trimester as their body adjusts to the pregnancy and the baby grows.

Unfortunately, the second trimester doesn’t last long enough! Once the third trimester comes, so does the yelling of the bladder, as well as other problems making a good nights sleep become something most pregnant women just dream of.

For the women who sleep on their stomachs or backs when not pregnant, they will find that by the third trimester they will have to find a way to get comfortable in a new position. With a big belly, there is now no way to sleep on your tummy and it gets painful to lie on your back, putting all the weight of your belly on your back. This leaves 2 choices for most women, the right side or the left side. Still getting comfortable isn’t as easy and some might think.

As the belly gets bigger, it also gets heavier. You might try to lay on your right or left side, only to discover that the baby is rolled up on that side of your belly and that he doesn’t like this position. The lack of support to your belly and heaviness of the belly might cause you to have to roll over. Then there is another problem you might encounter. While asleep, laying on one side or the other, the baby might decide to start poking and kicking you on that side waking you up, and making the comfort you finally found go away.

Some women have increased back and leg pain while pregnant which doesn’t help with the night time comfort. One solution that works for many women is easy and cheap. Pillows! You will often see pictures of pregnant women at the end of pregnancy surrounded by pillows as they lay in bed, taking up so much room that sometimes their husband looks very crowded. The most popular places for a pillow are between the knees and under the belly. The pillows help support and prop up the belly and legs so that MAYBE comfort can be found. Sometimes women will put on behind their back as well. Some pregnant women will make use of body pillows during the last weeks of their pregnancy to give their whole body extra support.

Tossing and turning is a sure sign that the end of pregnancy is near. Between the frequent bathroom trips, the comfort level (or lack thereof), and the constant thoughts, questions and worries running through a woman’s head, you might as well give up the idea of an uninterrupted, peaceful nights sleep for at least the next several months.

By Cami Nettekoven

There are numerous benefits of a Birth Doula. Studies have shown that having a Doula may greatly reduce the percentages of medical intervention. The relationship between Doula and the family is one of respect and comfort. The relationship starts during pregnancy, where the trust is formed. Information is gathered, education is obtained during these early meetings. During labor the Doula is an advocate or liaison for the family. The purpose of the Doula is to support the woman’s ability to give birth.

The Doula is available to educate the family so they may explore their options for their birth experience. This may be in the form of finding the appropriate childbirth class, learning techniques, writing a birth plan, or many other things. Every woman needs and deserves individualized care based on their circumstances and preferences. The Doula respects the desires and decisions of the family by being trustworthy, available, consistent, ethical and honest. It is important to allow the family to express concerns and expectations without judgment. She may expel myths with providing accurate, non-biased information. The information is to empower the family, strengthening them in their awareness and rights. Sometimes assistance is needed in providing questions to ask of the care provider.

A Doula supplies the knowledge of laboring techniques to accommodate the mother. These techniques can speed the length of labor and reduce the rate of medical intervention procedures. The techniques include: laboring and birthing positions, non-medical pain reduction methods, massage, aromatherapy, relaxation and focusing techniques along with emotional comfort and support.

The Doula acknowledges birth as a sacred moment that belongs to the family. She provides continuous support through labor and early post partum. She is the advocate for the family, equipping them with the tools they need to succeed in a joyous birth experience. She respects the privacy of the family. She in no way replaces the father or birth partner’s role, but enhances it. By making suggestions in comfort techniques, and allowing the partner to take a break. Many fathers and partners are eager to help in the support of the mother; however some may need a little guidance. The father’s presence and commitment of love and support is invaluable to the mother. A Doula’s knowledge can help a father or partner to relax and enjoy the experience more fully. The Doula compliments the birth process, by working along side with the family and care providers. A Doula seeks to protect a positive and memorable birthing experience for the entire family. It is most important that the family can be comfortable with the Doula of choice. They should feel free to discuss their fears, hopes, and desires with the Doula.

Doulas do not provide the mother with any clinical care, so they do not replace the doctor or midwife. A Doula’s expertise is in the physiology of labor and birthing by providing comfort measures to the mother. Doula’s have proven to make a favorable impact on the childbirth experience.

Having a Doula accessible after delivery is also beneficial. She may help the family to process the birthing experience. She will facilitate bonding with the baby, as well as initiating breastfeeding. Many breastfeeding moms need a little assistance in getting the baby latched on for the first time. Some gentle suggestions from the Doula can help get breastfeeding get off to a wonderful start.

A Doula strengthens the mother’s ability to birth in a way that stimulates her natural power within. It is important to give the mother confidence in herself and her body. By having a Doula it can help the family get off to a very good start.

About the Author
Cami Nettekoven: Is a trained and certified birth Doula through DONA International. She works in the Greater Kansas City Metro area for home, hospital or birth center births. She is also trained by the Kansas City Missouri Health Department as a Breastfeeding Counselor with Nutritional Services. Cami has 6 children and has 9 years of personal breastfeeding experience. All of her pregnancies have been high-risk, with pre-term labor and delivery, gestational diabetes, and a baby with abnormalities. It is her privilege as a Doula is to help families understand the nature of the birth process and to empower them with the tools to make pregnancy, childbirth, and their life beyond an experience of fulfillment and joy. Her web site is www.kansascitydoula.com.

by Christine Ramos

Not much else changes your life in so many ways as having a child does. Pregnancy and childbirth are life altering events for women and their involved partners. Many women enter their birthing facility as a private and reserved individual only to succumb later to the throes of labor and literally let it all hang out.

Having a baby can tell a woman a lot about herself that she previously did not know. Like the strength of her endurance, the magnificence of her body, and yes, the fact that there exists an occasion where she will not give a hoot who sees her in the most private of body positions. I strongly encourage pregnant women to embrace this truly magical time, a time when their own soul allows the entrance of another into this world. The following is a list of the five things I advise every expectant couple to know.

1. Understand what is happening.
Pregnancy is a time when you should be educating herself on the many wondrous changes your body and that of your unborn baby undergoes. You and your partner should learn about the course of childbirth, what birthing choices are available to you, and what to expect in both a normal delivery and one that requires medical intervention. Know what can be expected for your particular prenatal health status and draw up a birthing plan based on your educated wishes. But please remember, a birth plan is a list of wishes for your birthing experience. Changes in your, or your baby’s, health status may necessitate having an entirely different birth than what you initially wanted, and being prepared will put you in a position to better cope. Sign up for childbirth preparation courses and tour the birthing facility before the big day approaches.

2. Learn various options available for pain management.
Epidurals, though very common, are not without risks. Low blood pressure, slowing of your baby’s heart rate, back pain, severe headache, and seizures are all associated with administration of epidural anesthesia. The inability to recognize the natural urge to push your baby out is also a side effect of it. Water birthing is a marvelous birthing option which has been shown to be as effective as an epidural for pain control. Acupuncture, Reiki, and even hypnosis can also assist in obtaining effective pain management. Research these wonderful options, you owe it to yourself and your baby.

3. Avoid becoming submissive.
I strongly urge expectant parents to take an active role in their birth experience while discouraging submissiveness. So many times I have seen couples surrender their experience to the authority of their well-meaning, but very occupied, physician. What you need to know is that you must work to make the birthing experience your own.

No matter how caring the physician is she has a ton of other responsibilities she must be mindful of while attending to your birth. Many of the procedures she orders are routine and quite possibly can be negotiated in terms of your vision for your individual birthing experience. Say for example, you prefer to not have intravenous fluids during birth because you desire to walk about unencumbered by an I.V. pole.

Intravenous fluids are often routinely ordered, not so much because the birthing woman is at risk for dehydration, but to ensure easy access for medication administration via I.V. route should the need arise. Your physician may agree to only having intravenous access by the use of a saline-lock, an I.V. catheter inserted and taped to your arm but not hooked up to the tubing and bags. If the course of the pregnancy has been uncomplicated there is no reason why laboring couples cannot experience the birth of their child without medical intrusion.

4. Consider a Midwife.
Certified midwives are skilled and competent clinicians who advocate non-intervention in the normal processes of pregnancy and childbirth. These caring practitioners encourage active participation of their patients and their families as well as providing education, emotional, and social support throughout the childbearing experience. Always working with a physician as a back up measure in the event of an obstetrical emergency, the certified midwife is a safe, highly satisfying alternative to an M.D. for normal pregnancies.

5. Consider expert support during labor.
Doulas and labor support specialists, like myself, are also a very nice option for the birthing woman. We are certified professionals who work to improve the normal progress of your labor. We provide emotional support and use various comfort measures such as positioning, massage, and effective relaxation techniques during this momentous time. Having this type of assistance for pregnant women has been proven to reduce the need of medical intervention. Ask anyone who’s had a doula during their birthing experience and more than likely you’ll hear raves.

About The Author
Christine Ramos is a Registered Nurse and Certified Childbirth Educator, with experience in High-Risk Antepartum and Maternal/Child Health. In addition to writing articles Christine offers private maternity services. Her first book, entitled ‘A Journey Into Being. A Guide to Knowing Our Children as Spirit and How to Nurture Their Inner Being’ will be due out in June 2006. She is the mother of 2 boys ages 15 and 12, and a girl age 4. Visit Christine at www.IntuitiveNurturing.com for more information.

Your choice of birth environment is the first decision you make that determines your pain-relief options. If you know you want to use modern medical pain-relief methods, you will need to select a birth environment that can accommodate these preferences. If you are leaning more toward a natural childbirth, but would like to keep your options open, you may want to be in a birth environment that offers not only nonmedical forms of pain relief but also allows accessibility to medical pain relief, should you change your mind during labor. If you are committed to using no medical pain-relief options and do not want to be in an environment where they are frequently used, you will need to choose a birth environment that has both the physical amenities and supportive caregivers you will need to successfully give birth free of any medications, using complementary and alternative pain-management techniques.

The staff of caregivers available to you during labor and birth can also directly impact your pain-relief options. For instance, if you think you prefer to use an epidural but are in a hospital where the only anesthesiologist is on another unit at the time when you are in need of pain relief, this can significantly impact your birth experience. Conversely, if you prefer to delay or avoid the use of medications, a busy hospital with a high percentage of epidural usage may not be the ideal environment for you to achieve this goal.

Pharmacologic methods (medications) should never replace personal attention and tender loving care of the woman in labor.1

Your birth environment and the people caring for you during your labor and delivery can dramatically impact how you will perceive your childbirth experience. By choosing the type of birth environment best for you, you are more likely to feel relaxed and comfortable when you arrive and throughout the rest of your labor and birth. If you are giving birth in the setting you desire, surrounded by people who are able to meet your needs, including your pain-management needs, you are more likely to have a satisfying “birth day.”

In this chapter we:

By Beverley Brooke

One of the most important things you can do if you are thinking about becoming pregnant is start taking a prenatal vitamin with at least 400mcg of folic acid. Folic acid is an essential nutrient that can help prevent birth defects in newborns. If you start taking a prenatal supplement before you even try to become pregnant, you will have the best chance of ensuring a happy and healthy journey once you become pregnant.

Prenatal vitamins are packed full of nutrients that will help support and nourish your growing child and your body during pregnancy. Most women assume that they need a prescription to acquire prenatal vitamins. There are actually however many high quality prenatal vitamin supplements you can purchase over the counter. If you are not certain what your best choice is, be sure to consult with your healthcare provider who can point you in the right direction.

If you aren’t engaging in regular exercise prior to pregnancy, you’ll find it is more difficult though not impossible to start exercising during pregnancy when you are already feeling bulky and tired. Therefore one of the best things you can do to prepare for pregnancy is start exercising regularly. You don’t have to join the Boston Marathon, but even walking around the block a few times per week will help tone and condition your body and help you prepare for the journey ahead.

Women who regularly engage in some form of exercise before and during pregnancy are more likely to experience quicker and less problematic labors. That is a good enough reason in and of itself to start exercising as soon as you can.

About the Author
Article by Beverley Brooke, author of How To Ensure A Safe, Healthy Pregnancy And Lose Weight After Pregnancy. Visit her site for more on www.pregnancy-weight-loss.com.

by Armin Brott

Dear Mr. Dad: We have a three-month old baby. My wife really doesn’t want to go back to work so soon, but the sad fact is that we can’t get along without her salary. She’s really unhappy about having to leave the baby. Is there anything I can do to help her feel better?

Armin answers:
Unfortunately, with more and more families relying on two incomes, there’s a lot of pressure on new moms to go back to work. That explains why a third of new moms are on the job again only six weeks after giving birth, and two thirds are working after 12 weeks.

While some of these women are glad to be back at work, a large percentage—including your wife—are anything but glad. In fact, a lot of them are just plain miserable, worried that they’ve failed as mothers, and wishing they’d win the lottery so they could quite their job. This can be a very tough time for your wife and she’s going to need your help and support to get through it. Here’s what you can do:

• Be flexible. When it comes to coming up with an acceptable work-family balance, your wife may not be operating completely rationally. Let me give you an example of what I mean. Before my youngest was born, my wife and I discussed having her to stay home full time for five months, work part time for four months, and then transition to full time. All that changed when the baby was born. All of a sudden she didn’t want to go back to work at all. But in the interests of being able to make our mortgage payment (as you know, Bay Area real estate is outrageously expensive), she decided to do a full year part time before going to full time. Everything changed again after her first week back at the office. Now she decided that she wanted to stay part time until the baby entered preschool. Obviously, you and your wife have to keep talking about this stuff. And you have to find reasonable (and fiscally responsible) ways of making sure that everyone’s needs are met, or that they’re at least taken into consideration. That means listening to each other carefully and respectfully and acknowledging the pressures that each of you face.

• Get your childcare situation in order. Fear that the baby won’t be adequately cared for is what many new mothers find most unsettling about going back to work.

• Take the pressure off her. In most families, regardless of how enlightened and egalitarian they want to be, working mothers still do most of the work at home. Because so much of women’s identity is tied up in motherhood, your wife may try to do more than she can really handle—just to show herself and anyone else she thinks might be paying attention. Don’t let her. Instead, anticipate what has to be done and take care of it in advance. Simple things like making sure the table is set and dinner is ready when she comes home are great and will do wonders for her mood. If you get home later than she does, make a habit of doing something nice for her on a regular basis. Massages, a few hours alone with you, and even renting a video and snuggling up on the couch will really help. And make sure that you remind her frequently what a great mom she is even though she has to be away.

• Let her spend more time with the baby. If you and your wife are both working, you’re both going to miss your baby and you’re both going to want to spend time with him from the moment you walk in the door. Be a nice guy and let your wife have first dibs. This is especially important if she’s still nursing; her breasts may be ready to explode by the time she gets home and she may need to have the baby Hoover her out.

About the Author:
Armin Brott, hailed by Time as “the superdad’s superdad,” has written or co-written six critically acclaimed books on fatherhood, including the newly released second edition of Fathering Your Toddler: A Dad’s Guide to the Second and Third Years. His articles have appeared in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, American Baby, Parenting, Child, Men’s Health, The Washington Post among others. Armin is an experienced radio and TV guest, and has appeared on Today, CBS Overnight, Fox News, and Politically Incorrect. He’s the host of “Positive Parenting,” a weekly radio program in the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit Armin at www.mrdad.com.

Are you a grandparent who is raising your grandchild? If you are, you aren’t a grandparent in the traditional sense. Grandparents who raise their grandchild have to take on two different roles, the roles of both parents and grandparents.

When raising a grandchild, it is important to remember that you will see your share of ups and downs. Often times, grandparents will visit their grandchildren on the weekends and have an unlimited number of picture perfect moments. When spending twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with your grandchild, you will run into complications, no matter what their age. The good news is that there are always solutions to the problems that you may run into.

While many people will tell you otherwise, you may find it the easiest to raise newborns and infants. Yes, you may have midnight feedings and a load of dirty diapers to change, but you will find yourself having to provide constant love and support to your grandchild. What is nice about this is that showing love and support is something that grandparents do best. At the newborn and infant stages, you will want to cuddle and spend as much time with your grandchild as possible.

Although many grandparents who raise their grandchildren focus on the difficulties that they may face and solutions for those difficulties, it is also important to remember the firsts that you will get to experience with your very own eyes. When raising your grandchild, you will be able to see and celebrate their first words, first crawl, first step, first play date, and first day of school. No matter what complications you have run into in the past or will run into in the future, these memorable experiences will be make raising your grandchild more than worth it.

As previously stated, raising grandchildren has it shares of difficulties. As with traditional parents, it will be easy for you to feel overwhelmed. If and when that time comes, you may want to seek assistance. You may not know this, but it is actually a lot more common for grandparents to raise their grandchildren than many think. The good news is that this has led to the development of support groups all across the country.

As a reminder, if you are feeling overwhelmed, be sure to examine local grandparents raising grandchildren support groups in your area or call on the services of a babysitter or other family members. In the traditional family setting, even parents need a break and the same will likely ring true for you.

Are you a grandparent? If you are, you may enjoy watching your son or daughter interact with their child. Often times, you will find a number of picture perfect moments, but other times, you may find issues that cause you concern. When it comes to grand parenting, many grandparents wonder what actions they should take in regards to neglect or if they should take any action at all.

When it comes to grand parenting and neglect, a great rule of thumb to follow is your grandchild’s health and safety. For instance, do you feel that they are being put in danger, even unintentionally? If so, it is time for you to take action. Unfortunately, many grandparents are concerned with the family problems that will be created when calling out neglect. While they problems do and may exist, it is important to keep the health and safety of your grandchild in mind.

One of the many instances in which you may want to intervene is if you suspect your grandchild isn’t properly being cared for, in terms of their health. Newborns, infants, and even toddlers need to receive proper medical attention and they need to eat healthy foods. If you find that your son or daughter is neglecting to seek the proper medical care for your grandchild, whether it be attending well visits or a trip to the dentist, you may want to voice your concerns. You may find an issue with money, a lack of insurance, or just a parent who is unaware of the importance of regular medical checkups.

Perhaps, the one situation where you shouldn’t take any chances is where you suspect abuse is involved. This abuse should include physical and verbal abuse. This is particularly important if your grandchild is a newborn or an infant, as they are unable to speak for themselves. When your grandchild learns to walk or reaches the active toddler stages, it is common to see bumps and bruises, but be on the lookout for anything that causes concern. If you are unsure as to the result of bruises or other injuries, you may first want to approach your child. However, if you see abuse firsthand, it may be wise to contact the proper officials.

As a reminder, intervening in your grandchild’s life may cause you some concern, but it is important to remember that neglect is nothing to mess around with. Your grandchild relies on you, as their grandparent, to provide them with love, support, and safety.

Have you recently found out that you are going to be a grandparent? If you have and if this is a new experience for you, you may be curious as to what your roles and responsibilities are. You should know that grandparents are important on a number of different levels. Your grandchild will rely on you for love and support, as well as will your son or daughter and their partner.

One of the many ways that you can offer your assistance, as a grandparent, is before your new grandchild is even born. You will want to provide your son or daughter all of the knowledge and support that they need. This may involve throwing a baby shower for your daughter or daughter in-law, helping to set up the baby’s nursery, or just lending an ear. As a parent yourself, you may remember how overwhelming a new baby can be for new parents. That is why any help that you have to offer will likely be welcomed with opened arms.

As soon as your new grandchild is born, you will find a number of opportunities to offer assistance. Your child and their partner will likely be at the hospital, feeling a wide array of emotions. These emotions may include happiness, nervousness, and the feeling of being unprepared. You may want to offer your assistance around the home. You can straighten up your son or daughter’s home, particularly before they will arrive from the hospital. You can also offer assistance by preparing a few meals and freezing them for later. New parents often find little time for these tasks.

Although your help and assistance will be appreciated before and during the birth of your grandchild, you will be needed even more afterwards. As previously stated, it is important that you provide both your child and grandchild with all of the love and support in the world. After the birth of your grandchild, particularly during the first year, you will want to sure that you make time for your family. In fact, time is the greatest gift that you can give your grandchild and their parents. While your time may be spent running errands, doing housework, baby proofing, or baby-sitting, your role of a grandparent is important, on a number of different levels.

The above mentioned actions are just a few of the many that you may want to take, when you become a new grandparent. Although you will have a number of responsibilities to your son or daughter and grandchild, it is more than acceptable for you to take a break and celebrate the fact that you will be a new grandparent. After all, you may have as many as nine months to prepare for your new role.

Have you recently learned that you are going to be a new grandparent? If you have, you may want to start preparing for your family’s newest arrival. This is an important step, as grand parenting actually begins a lot earlier than many think.

As a grandparent, it will be your responsibility to provide your grandchild with love and support. There is no better way to do so then to make sure that they are brought into a kind, loving, and safe environment. That is why you may want to take steps to work with your son or daughter to ensure that they are fully prepared for their impending arrival. With that in mind, you will want to proceed with caution. You do not need to be overbearing, but you can still provide your support, especially to new parents.

One of the many ways that you can go about ensuring your grandchild is brought up in a safe and healthy environment is by making sure that your son or daughter has all needed supplies. This is most apparent with the nursery. Although many parents plan for the birth of the child, many other births are unexpected. If your grandchild is an unexpected blessing, you may find that your son or daughter is not financially prepared for the undertaking. In that instance, you may want to assist with purchasing needed nursery supplies.

Another one of the many steps that you will want to take, as a new grandparent, even before your grandchild arrives is to baby proof your home. Although newborns will not be able to get around and explore, they will soon be able to. Baby proofing involves more than installing baby outlet covers; it is a life change. You will need to change the way that you leave breakable items around your home, clean your home, and so forth. You may want to take practice steps. These practice steps can help you get into the habit of making sure that your home is always a safe place for your grandchild to visit.

The above mentioned steps are just a few of the many that you may need to take as a new grandparent, even before your new grandchild makes their grand entrance. Perhaps, the most important thing that you can do is provide your love and support to your son or daughter and their partner. Having a new baby, especially for the first time, can be joyous and overwhelming all at the same time.