Birth plans have become the next “big thing” for pregnant women who decide that they want to maintain some control in the labor and delivery of their unborn child, as well as in the post-partum care both she and her baby receive in the hospital. Some people do not know how to create a birth plan, or why creating a birth plan is an important aspect of their pregnancy.

When a laboring woman arrives at the hospital, there can be limited time to get her feelings regarding how she wants her labor to progress across to the nurses on duty. Birth plans are generally written by the pregnant woman, sometimes with the assistance of her labor partner several weeks prior to delivery. It should then be taken to your doctor or midwife at one of your prenatal appointments to go over your wishes and make sure that your provider is aware of any concerns you might have.

Flexibility
One thing to keep in mind when creating your birth plan is to maintain flexible. Even if you have the textbook perfect labor and delivery, chances are that something in your birth plan will not be able to be accomplished or achieved. It might be because of your hospital, or it might be as simple as you originally saying that you do not want pain medication, just to change your mind half way through labor. If you remain flexible regarding what you wrote in your birth plan, the day of delivery will go much smoother.

Creating your Birth Plan
So how do you create a birth plan? You can use our customized birth plan creator, or you can create one from scratch. If you create one from scratch, be sure to remember to include everything that you deem important.

Pain Medication
When doing your birth plan be sure to mention your wishes on pain medication. Do you want pain medication or not? If you do want pain medication, how much and what kind do you want? If you want medication, do you want to have just a shot through your IV of something to just dull the pain a bit, or do you want an epidural which will go in your back and pretty much get rid of all pain and contractions that you feel? Do you want the doctor or midwife to suggest to you medication, or not mention it at all?

Episiotomy or Tearing
Also, when creating your birth plan, be sure to let everyone know what you will prefer when it comes to having an episiotomy. An episiotomy is when the doctor or midwife cuts the perineal area that goes from your vagina to your rectum an inch or two before the babies head comes out in order to help the head come out easier. Some women prefer to be cut; other women prefer to tear naturally. Many women’s activist groups these days are promoting tearing vs. no episiotomy because some women won’t tear at all, or only tear a tiny bit, making the healing time less painful than it would have been with an episiotomy.

Visitors
Let the nurses know in your birth plan who you want to be allowed in the room and when. Some women are fine with having everyone in at once, and others prefer to only have their birth partner, or have other visitors come in one at a time. You might want the interaction and distraction during the early stages of labor, but not want a bunch of people in the room towards the end. There are also times when you may not want your parent or an in-law in the room at all, but you do not want to be the bad guy. Buy writing these wishes down in your birth plan, it enables your nurse to tell people who can and can not go in and when, and also makes the nurse be the “bad guy” so you don’t have to concentrate on those issues when you should be concentrating on pushing your baby out.

Immediately After Birth
Assuming you have a vaginal birth, you should include in your birth plan your wishes for the baby immediately after birth. Some women will choose to bank their babies cord blood and will have that set up ahead of time. Others want to make sure the cord stops pulsating before it is cut, letting the baby get the remaining nutrients that are important for their health. If you are breastfeeding, you may want to be allowed to nurse immediately, vs. having to wait several minutes for your baby to get cleaned up a bit and get eye drops. Your baby is most alert in the 30 minutes or so right after birth so it is an important time for you to be able to nurse and bond.

Just incase a c-section becomes a necessity, you should list your wishes for the baby while they are finishing up your surgery, in your birth plan. Put down whether or not you want your baby accompanied at all times by your birth partner. Let them know ahead of time your wishes on them giving your baby a bottle of sugar water or formula while you are in recovery. Make it clear if you want your baby brought to you in recovery or if you want to wait till you get back to your room.

Postpartum Care
Part of your birth plan includes your post-partum care. Most hospitals support and encourage your baby staying in your room with you at all times, vs. going to the nursery at night or while you sleep. You can make it clear in your birth plan what your preference is. Whether or not you want to room-in, or if you just want your baby brought to you for feedings letting you rest as much as possible. You can also list whether or not you want your birth partner to be allowed to stay the night.

Feeding
In your birth plan you will list your intentions on feeding your baby. You can state whether or not you plan on breastfeeding, and if you do breastfeed how often and when you want to do it. That is important in the instance that you choose not to have your baby rooming in with you, but instead in the nursery. You should make it clear if you want to feed the baby on demand, when the baby is hungry, or if you prefer to feed the baby on your schedule, allowing the nurses in the nursery to give the baby formula when he gets hungry.

Miscellaneous
There are always other things you might think of when it comes to your hopes and wishes for a happy and healthy labor and birth. Things like taking pictures, video taping, having music playing, moving around, being allowed to take a bath or shower during labor, etc. If any of these things are important to you, or you can think of others, be sure to list them in your birth plan for the nurses and your doctor or midwife. Happy birthing!

by Gary Hendricks

Oh gosh … he’s at it again! Wailing and crying for God knows what reason. Do you have a problem with your child’s tantrums? Here’s a quick guide on how to handle them during those stressful moments.

Why Do Children Throw Tantrums?
Studies have shown that when children throw tantrums, they do not mean to be rude or manipulative on purpose. At their age, toddlers are just beginning to understand a lot more of the words they hear. However, given their limited vocal skills, they can’t communicate easily. And when your child can’t express how he feels, frustration mounts.

How Should I React?
Ok, most important rule is … don’t lose your cool. Repeat … don’t lose your cool. He or she may be making a huge scene in the public, embarrassing you in front of the in-laws, it doesn’t matter. Just grit your teeth and bear with it. My suggestion is to just sit down and be with your child while he or she rages.

I know it’s tough – particularly in public. Just try to stop thinking about what others think, any parent out there would understand the situation. Do not concede and give in. If you concede, you will be teaching your child that throwing a tantrum will allow him or her to get what they want.

If, however, your child gets to the point where they start hitting people or throwing things, just pick him up and carry him to a safe place, such as his bedroom. Explain in a firm voice why he’s there (e.g. “because you hit Grandma”).

Preventive Measures
Taking preventive measures also works. If you know your kid gets frustrated when hungry, carry snacks along with you. If you’re going from one place to the next, alert your child and let him know (e.g. “After you finish your storybook, we’re going for dinner”).

If all else fails, do consult your pediatrician who can give expert advice on your child’s tantrums and check if there are any physical or psychological problems.

About the Author
Need Some Advice on Parenting and Baby Care? Gary Hendricks has compiled the best articles on parenting, baby care and baby products at the Baby Product Guide.

by Andrea SteedScrapbooking has quickly become a popular hobby for countless reasons. It’s such a rewarding and important activity to become involved with. Preserving your memories and recording important family events and milestones is not only enjoyable, but it’s also beneficial for your children and for future generations. Here are some reasons to scrapbook:

Preserve your memories. First and foremost, the purpose of scrapbooking is of course to preserve your memories, and tell your family’s story through photos and journaling. If you’re like many people, you probably find it frustrating to ask your parents what you were like when you were a baby, how old you were when you took your first step, and what your first word was…and they can’t remember! Scrapbooking provides a way for you to record those important moments and milestones in your child’s life, while incorporating photos of the special moments to show their growth and development over the years.

Display your photos. How often do we take rolls and rolls of photographs only to have them shoved into drawers and boxes and never looked at? By scrapbooking your photos and putting them into albums, it’s a treat for all of your family to look through them and remember different events and moments in their lives. Having the photos and the stories together in one book brings additional meaning and significance to each photo.

Enjoy a creative outlet. Scrapbooking more than putting photos into a photo album. It’s also a wonderful opportunity to bring your personality as an artist into your scrapbook albums. Whether your passion is in photography, journaling, or cutting and pasting decorations for your page, you’re able to bring a piece of yourself into every page. It doesn’t matter what your creative talents are (or aren’t), because the scrapbook represents something more than just a collection of pretty pages with photos on them. Not only is your album a precious record of special memories, but the album itself becomes a family treasure and an extension of you-something your children will treasure, because it was made by you.

It’s a social activity. Scrapbooking has quickly become the “quilting bee” of the 21st century. Women often gather in churches, community classes, scrapbook stores and in homes to scrapbook together. It’s an opportunity to socialize and for everyone to accomplish a common goal of preserving their families’ memories. Some fantastic friendships have been formed through this common hobby!

With a new baby in your family (or on the way), now is a fantastic time to get started with scrapbooking, and beginning to record these once-in-a-lifetime moments so that you can remember them forever.

About the Author
Andrea Steed is the author and creator of Scrap Tutor, a web site and CD-ROM that teaches you how to create scrapbooks and how to perform many popular techniques used in scrapbooking. For more information, visit www.scraptutor.com.

by Elizabeth Pantley, author of Perfect Parenting and Kid Cooperation

When I was growing up, the extent of my athletic experience was whatever they made me do twice a week when I put on my goofy blue gym uniform. I hated it! How times have changed! All three of my children have been involved in soccer, baseball, swimming and Ty Kwon Do. And all three say that gym class is one of their favorite classes. I realize that sometimes it’s not easy to get kids to commit to sports activities. But the long term benefits for your child make it worth the battle.

There are many positive aspects of youth sports. Sports promote teamwork, healthy self-esteem, and mastery of skills. Participation in sports also promotes a healthy lifestyle that can combat the TV-computer-coach-potato mentality of many of our children. It’s worth the effort to encourage your child to participate in some kind of sporting activity.

Here’s a section from my book, Perfect Parenting, that addresses the issues of the reluctant athlete:

Question:
My child signs up for athletic lessons and then doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to practice. After a few sessions she wants to quit. How do I get her involved in sports and how do I get her to stay committed?

Think about it:
The first step is to determine the child’s reason for wanting to quit. You can figure this out by taking to the child, talking to the coach and watching a practice session and a game. There may be more than one reason. Review the solutions below for each reason.

1. Child isn’t skilled in the sport: Often children want to join a team because they enjoy watching the big league games on TV and playing with friends at the park. Once they join a team, however, they find that the game is harder than they thought, and they don’t have the skills to play well. Practice – just what the child wants to avoid – is the key to an attitude adjustment. Explain to your child that it takes time and practice to play well and because the session has just started she must give it a fair chance. Make an agreement that she must do her best for the session (or a specific amount of time). After that point, she can either continue, or stop and try something else. Put your agreement in writing and post it. Often a child can handle an activity for a short specific amount of time, and at the end of the time period has adequate skills to enjoy the sport and can then make a better decision about continuing.
2. Child is not having fun: Sometimes, the actual involvement isn’t as fun as the child imagined. First make sure the coach or teacher is compatible with your child. If there is a major personality clash it may be worth it to change coaches. If your child is not correctly matched to the skill level of the team, her inability to keep up could prevent her from having fun. If all seems to be okay in these areas, you can build your child’s interest by taking her to a professional-level game and to a game involving kids a few years older than she is. Another way to increase your child’s commitment to the game is to have enough equipment at home for casual practice, and to take the time to enjoy the game with your child, without the pressure of the formal game.
3. Sport takes up too much time: Most sports activities do require a time commitment from both child and parent. A child who is committed to more than one activity can easily feel overwhelmed. It’s usually best to focus on one extra-curricular activity at a time so that the child still has some time left over after sports and school for free unstructured play.
4. Child feels too much pressure: First experiences with team competition can be difficult for children. It’s especially hard if a child is not a great player. One way to remove some of the pressure is to cheer for the whole team, as opposed to the individual in the spotlight, “Go Redwings!” Another method is to focus on effort, skills and technique. “Good swing! Nice try!” If a child doesn’t ask for advice about how to play better, don’t give any! Leave it to the coaches. Watch how you, other parents, the kids and the coaches respond after a lost game. Look for something positive to say, “What a great effort!” Focus on a few positive details from the game. Find some time to play a casual version of the game at home or at the park so your child can enjoy the process without worrying about who wins.

Make sure you’re offering sports that fit your child’s personality. Some children are drawn to “ball” sports, such as baseball, soccer and tennis. Others prefer swimming, horseback riding, gymnastics or sailing. Analyze your child’s strengths and weaknesses, the things your child enjoys or avoids. Let your child try several different activities until he finds one that suits him. You may have played baseball all through your childhood, and love the game today, but if your child is drawn to swimming instead, open your heart and mind and support the sport your child chooses, while gently encouraging him to try your favorite, too.

Take your child to a few professional-sporting activities of the types you would like him to consider. Often when children see skilled athletes and feel the excitement of the event, they become more interested in trying the activity themselves.

Find a sport activity you can enjoy with your child, such as martial arts, swimming, or tennis, and take lessons together. Children enjoy the attention from a parent, and will learn to enjoy the sport in the process.

Copyright Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)

About the Author:
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.