When it comes to spoiling your grandchildren, it is important to remember that the term spoiled can include a number actions. For instance, there are grandparents who are known for spoiling their grandchildren with love and affection and others who do so with gifts. In a way, grandparents are expected to spoil their grandkids, but you will want to do so at a level that is deemed appropriate.

As for your love and affection, it is advised that you show it. Of course, you will want to prevent yourself from becoming known as the overbearing grandparent, but, other than that, you should have no concerns. In all honesty, there is no such thing as over spoiling grandchildren with love, affection, and support. In fact, as a grandparent, it is your job to ensure that your grandkids know that they are cared for and well loved. You can express this by lots of hugs, kisses, and your time in general.

As for gifts, it is important that you speak with your son or daughter. While many grandparents are concerned with spoiling their grandchildren with gifts, there are some parents who can actually use the assistance, due to financial difficulties. With that in mind, it is advised that you purchase gifts that your grandchild will be able to use. These gifts should include necessities, such as diapers, baby wipes, and clothes. It is okay to splurge occasionally on toys, but you may want to take steps to ensure that they are educational in nature.

As previously stated, you may want to speak with your son or daughter about any gifts that you wish to give your grandchild. Generally speaking, you will find no problems in the early years. Newborns and infants generally do not understand the concept of being spoiled; therefore, no harm will be done by giving your grandchild a new present here and there. Perhaps, the only problem that you may face is getting out of the habit of doing so later on.

As a reminder, there is nothing wrong with spoiling your grandkids, especially when it comes to your love and affection. The same can be said for gifts and other presents, but just use your best judgment.

Does it takes forever for your baby to fall asleep? Does he or she only fall asleep if you breastfeed, give a bottle or pacifier, rock, carry, swing, take a ride in the car, or perform other elaborate rituals? Does your baby wake up frequently throughout the night? Are your sleep issues further complicated because your baby won’t nap easily, or takes very short naps?

Do you ever feel like Leesa, mother of 9-month-old Kyra who said, “I am truly distressed, as the lack of sleep is starting to affect all aspects of my life. I feel as though I can’t carry on an intelligent conversation. I am extremely unorganized and don’t have the energy to even attempt reorganization. I love this child more than anything in the world, and I don’t want to make her cry, but I’m near tears myself thinking about going to bed every night. Sometimes I think, ‘What’s the point? I’ll just be up in an hour anyway.’”

As your sleep issues cast lengthening shadows over your life, you may begin to live purely for the moment. Your sleep-deprived, foggy brain may focus so intently on sleep that you can’t think beyond the next few hours of rest. You may have one – or many – people telling you that you should just let your baby cry to sleep. You are probably frustrated and confused. What you lack is perspective. To gain that perspective, ask yourself these questions:

1. Where will I be five years from now? How will I look back on this time?
2. Will I be proud of how I handled my baby’s sleep routines, or will I regret my actions?
3. How will the things I do with my baby today affect the person he will become in the future?

Once you have some perspective about your baby’s current sleep issues, it is important to be realistic in determining your goals and to be honest in assessing the situation’s effect on your life. Some people can handle two night wakings easily, while others find that the effect of even one night waking is just too much to handle. The key is to evaluate whether your baby’s sleep schedule is a problem in your eyes, or just in those of the people around you.

Begin today by contemplating these questions:

1. Am I content with the way things are, or am I becoming resentful, angry, or frustrated?
2. Is my baby’s nighttime routine negatively affecting my marriage, my job, or my relationships with my other children?
3. Is my baby happy, healthy, and seemingly well rested?
4. Am I happy, healthy, and well rested?
5. What is a reasonable expectation for my baby at his/her age?
6. What naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “acceptable”?
7. What naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “pure bliss”?
8. Why do I want to change my baby’s sleep patterns? Is it truly what’s best for me and my baby, or am I doing this to meet someone else’s expectations?
9. Am I willing to be patient and make a gradual, gentle change for my baby if that means no crying?

Once you answer these questions, you will have a better understanding of not only what is happening with regard to your baby’s sleep, but what approach you will feel most comfortable using to help your baby sleep better.

In addition to my two-year-old son Coleton, I have three older children, and they have afforded me the perspective I lacked the first time around. My children have taught me how very quickly babyhood passes. I struggle now to remember the difficulties of those first couple years, so fleeting are they. And I am proud that I didn’t cave in to the pressures of others around us to do what they felt was right; instead I followed my heart as I gently nurtured all of my babies. That time is long gone for us, but those memories remain. And now, all four of them sleep through the night. And so do I.

About the Author: Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including Gentle Baby Care : No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry — Essential Tips for Raising Your Baby, The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night, Kid Cooperation (with an introduction by William Sears, MD), Perfect Parenting, as well as her latest The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. She is a popular speaker on family issues, and her newsletter, Parent Tips, is seen in schools nationwide. She appears as a regular radio show guest, and has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman’s Day magazines. Visit Elizabeth’s web site http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth.