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I had a stillbirth on 17th Oct, 2003. That was the worst day in my life. I was 38 weeks pregnant and lost him for unknown reasons.He was the most beautiful baby i have ever seen. I miss him so much and wish he was here with me today. I would give up anything in the world to have him back.I wait for the day when I can be united with him again. I love u so much Ashwin boy....
Some only dream of angels
I held one in my womb.
Sleep, little baby, sleep.
Appa & Amma miss and love you so much.
HAPPY 1ST HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, ASHWIN DARLING.
HAPPY 2ND HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, ASHWIN DARLING.
HAPPY 3RD HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, ASHWIN DARLING.
HAPPY 4TH HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, ASHWIN DARLING.
HAPPY 5TH HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, ASHWIN DARLING.
HAPPY 6TH HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, ASHWIN DARLING.
This poem was written to me by my son from heaven.
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was
Through.
God picked me up and hugged me and said, I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again,
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They'll be here later on.
There's so much we have to do,
To help our mortal man.
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to
Flight.
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving
months.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you
Tears.
But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some
Rain
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I was to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to
Climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'll like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and in pain;
Then you can say to God at night my day was not in vain
And now I am contented that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street and you've got Me on
Your mind; I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step
Behind.
And when it's time for you to gofrom that body to be free.
Remember you are not going you are coming here to me.
IN MEMORY OF OUR ANGEL NAZARENE ASHWIN RAJ
Born and received his wings on Oct 17, 2003
You are out of sight, but
Never out of mind, out of
Reach but never out of my heart.
I will love you forever my little
ANGEL IN HEAVEN.
One night I cried to Jesus as I sat beneath the tree,
I looked into the open skies and hoped he'd answer me.
I'm lost, dear Lord, I've traveled far but I still seem to roam,
Please light the way and lead me, Lord; I need to get back home.
I told him of my burdens and of the sadness in my heart,
That from his gracious love I'd never felt so apart.
Why did you take my child, Lord? I cannot understand!
I'm angry, Lord, I'm missing him. I'm drowning in my sorrow,
Please help me to heal my yesterday and face each new tomorrow.
It was when I heard his gentle voice and felt his presence near,
How I wanted to hold him as I cried another tear.
He said, Amma, I'm an angel now, my spirit will be free,
I'm an angel now in Heaven, so please don't cry for me.
I was chosen by our Lord above and now I'm in his care,
When you need me, look inside your heart,
I promise to be there.
No one can ever take away our bond with one another,
For I'll always be your precious child
As you will always be my mother.
So if you cannot find your way or the road to home seems far,
Just look up to the heavens and I'll be your guiding star.
He said, Amma, I'm an angel now, my spirit will be free,
I'm an angel now in heaven no need to cry for me.
WHAT MAKES A MOTHER
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked what makes a mother and I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother?
When your baby is not with you?
Yes, you can He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day
And some I send to feel the womb
But there's no need to stay
I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Amma loved me oh so much
I got to come here straight
I feel so lucky to have an Amma
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Amma set me free.
I miss my Amma so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Amma don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here.
So you see my dear sweet one
Your baby is ok
Your baby is here in my home
And this is where he'll stay
He'll wait for you with Me
Until your lesson is through
And on the day you come home
He'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother
Until their time is done
They'll be up here with Me one day
And you know you're the best one!!!
IN MEMORY OF OUR DARLING ASHWIN
Life goes on
I've heard it said
But little do they know it isn't that easy for some
It's time to move on
Or so I've heard it said
But how does a mother move on
From the loss of her baby
You have to get over it
Or so I've heard it said
But did they lose their baby
Time will heal your pain
I heard that said at times
But my heart is still bleeding
Though it has been so many months
Your child is in a better place
Though I know this is true
It doesn't take away my pain
Your angel wouldn't want you to cry
But how does a mother stop the tears
When she can't be with her own baby
You can always have more children
I've heard that said many times
But even if I did
They would never replace my firstborn
I know some mean well
But they have no idea
The pain a mother feels
When her child is taken from her
And she never even got to say any goodbyes.
Please do sign my angel's guestbook as i will know that you have visited him. Thank you.
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