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When I arrived at UofM I was admitted into the high risk womens hospital. Was put on complete bedrest and hooked up to the monitors.
I was scared and I didn't know what this was going to be like for us. How it would end. The doctors gave me my steriod shot to help Abby's lungs and told us what it would be like for Abby if she was born at that time (25 weeks) . We just prayed that I could lay there for the next 3 months and let her grow big and strong.
This went on for two weeks but a week into this my water broke and after another week I went into labor.
Quietly Abbigale Feenie was born on July 17th, 2005 at 6:04am by emergency C-Section. She weighed 2lbs 1/2 ounce and was 14 inches long.
She was immediatly put on a ventilator to help her breathe and given medications to help her stay strong.
Abby did incredible she was off the ventilator within two days and was being fed my breast milk thru her feeding tube. She was off all medications and was content sleeping and eating and getting visits from her mommy and daddy. I would spend at least 8 hours a day at her side just talking with her and watching her mostly. I hope she knew we were there.
I was able to hold Abby twice, for hours at a time. And I was able to change her diaper twice. She left me some doozies too, she must have known her mommy was going to change those ones ! Her daddy also helped take care of her one day and took her temp, changed her diaper and cleaned her up. Those times are so precious to us now. Even the small things you cannot take for granted.
Then on July 30th Abby became very ill with a sepsis infection and was placed on extreme life support her blood pressure was extremely low and her oxogyn levels were bottomed out. She was stabalized over night and the doctors were hopeful that she would pull thru with alot of antibiotics and time.
Abbigale fought for a week , her body was just overtaken by the results of her infection and she developed a bleed in her brain that was fatal. We were told on August 5th that Abbigale needed to be at peace and we let her go. Surrounded by our closest family . They all said there goodbyes . George and I held her as she went to heaven with the Angels .
Since that day it has been a struggle to understand how to live your life without your precious child that you had so many hopes and dreams for. The ache in my arms is immense and the sorrow I feel at times cannot be described with words.
There is one thing that reminds me most of my precious girl and that is Cardinals. If you ever see one say Hi , it is probably Abby sending you a sign that everything will be okay.
This is what I need to say.... This site I have made is to celebrate our daughter who is also a great granddaughter, and grand daughter, niece, cousin and a friend. She will always be alive in my heart and her fathers. And I hope in all of her family. She has taught me many things in her 3 weeks on earth and more will be revealed I am sure as I live my life. The one that is the greatest gift she gave is that she taught me what complete unconditional love feels like with no expectations. She showed me her love and I showed her mine and she is a miracle.
I love you Abbigale with all I have, I am so sad that you are not with me but I would do it all over again just to have known you. You are so special to me. My heart is yours forever..
" a person's a person no matter how small"
Dr. Suess
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