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This is a poem I wrote for my darling Angel Kayla..Hope you enjoy......
For My Baby Kayla
When first I held you in my arms and saw your tiny face,
I knew deep down in my heart that you were in a better place.
You were taken from us way too soon, only hours we had with you,
We never got to see your eyes, hear you cry, or even coo.
No late night feedings, no lullabys,
I sit and wonder, why? why? why?
My beautiful daughter was to be on her way,
But with empty arms, we grieve day by day.
We will never understand why you had to go,
Why us Dear Lord, I'll never know.
As I said goodbye, and held your hand,
I felt like the luckiest mom in all the land.
For although my time with you was short,
Remembering helps heal my hurt.
My darling daughter you will always be,
Your mommy one day again you'll see.
For nothing in the world could ever erase,
The beautiful angelic look upon your face.
I love you Dear Kayla, and one day you'll see,
you had the best set of parents in your daddy and me.
For no other parent's in the whole wide world,
would be as lucky to have you as their baby girl.
Forever Dear Kayla you'll always be,
an important part of our family!
For Kayla Marie~February 19, 2003
By~Angela Marie
While the time has been very difficult since our loss, I truly believe that when God closes one door, another one opens. Since my loss, I have met some of the most wonderful people I have ever met in my life, while current friendships became stronger! I truely treasure their friendship and support and thank God everyday for sending them to me in my time of sorrow. I know one day I will be re-united with my baby and knowing that, keeps me going so I can make my Angel baby proud to call me her Mommy!
No words can express what the loss of child feels like until you have experienced it yourself! It is definitely an eye opening and life altering experience. When we look back to the day I gave birth to my baby Kayla, I am saddened and happy at the same time. Many people who lose their babies never get to see them at all, I got to spend valuable hours with my angel and rock her and sing to her. My brother and mother arrived shortly after she was born (THANKS FOR BEING THERE CHRIS) and my Dad, daughter and of course, my support through it all, my husband Paul. We all spent some time with her and that is time I will treasure for the rest of my life!
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A poem for my friends I've met since my loss....
My friend so dear, my friend so far,
How I wonder how you are.
Are you happy are you sad,
Or could you be fuming mad?
Just know that I am here for you,
Your truest friend to see you through.
Through tears and laughter, pain and glee,
No better friend you'll find than me.
A tradgedy so bad has brought us together,
To become close friends forever and ever.
Our darling angels in heaven await,
For the day we rejoin them, at heaven's gate. Until then, they will show us the way,
To get through our terrible gloomy days.
And though we feel such terrible pain,
We will have each other to get through the rain. Maybe the tears will ease around the bend,
I thank god everyday, I've got you as my friend!
Angela Kern
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I Believe (Diamond Rio)
Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin,
I feel you come back again, and it's like you haven't been,
gone a moment from my side, like the tears were never cried,
Like the hands of time were holding you, and me.
And with all my heart I'm sure, we're closer than we ever were.
I don't have to hear or see, I've got all the proof I need,
There are more than angels watching over me,
I believe, oh I believe.
Now when you die life goes on,
it doesn't end here when you're gone.
Every soul is filled with light, it never ends if I'm right.
Our love can even reach across eternity,
I believe, Oh I believe.
Forever you're a part of me, forever in the heart of me,
I would hold you even longer if I can......
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One day left to live....
(Sammy Kershaw)
There's a lesson to be learned in this it showed me,
take nothing for granted in a second it can all be gone.
And I'm gonna live the rest of my life,
like I've got one day left to live,
one night left to love you.
Starting right now I'm starting all over,
doing what I should do.
Should this be my last, or I've got a hundred years,
From this day on, I'm gonna live my life,
like I've got one day left to live.
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ANGELS IN WAITING...
They were angels in waiting
waiting for wings to fly from this world
away from their pain
treasuring time till time came to leave
leaving behind sweet memories
angels in waiting
angels in waiting for wings
(my Aunt Penny's favorite song who is now in Heaven with my precious Kayla and the rest of our loved ones 2003)
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Dear God
~By Angela Kern for Kayla Marie~
July 16, 2003
It’s been several months since she’s been gone,
Dear God show me how to carry on.
The sadness with-in me, my broken heart,
I never dreamed my world could fall apart.
Dear God please tell her we miss her so,
Our hearts were broken when she had to go.
Tell her that we miss her so much more everyday,
She is our daughter, though she’s not here today.
Please teach her to love and teach her to care,
And keep her safe till mommy and daddy can be there.
Please kiss her and hug her and hold her tight,
While we go to bed wishing she were with us tonight.
Dear God please tell her, all about her big sister,
And just how much, she also misses her.
And Grandma and Grandpa they miss her too,
Only one grandchild to play with, instead of two.
Dear God let her see it, when we send her balloons,
To celebrate holidays and special days, we’ll send more soon.
And let her be near us when we need her so,
Dear God help us understand why she had to go.
Dear God please comfort her when she misses us too,
This was never something we wanted to go through.
We wanted her with us, to watch her grow,
Who she would look like, only you will know.
Please sing her “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” every day,
I sang it to her when she left us that day.
Dear god please let her hear me as I lay down at night,
‘One day we’ll be together again, I love you, goodnight!'
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I wrote this for the Walk To Remember This Year:
So life goes on
Could it really be over a year since that tragic day?
To me, it still feels like it was yesterday.
I can still feel your body tucked safely in my arms,
Wishing I could take you home and keep you safe from harm.
Always on our mind, and forever in our hearts,
The second child in our family-you will always be a part!
While others may think that I’m over losing you,
The grief, the hurt, and tears are in everything I do.
So when someone says, ‘how wonderful having two girls must be’,
I stop and kindly remind them, I am a mother to THREE.
For no matter where you are, and no matter how much time goes by,
You will forever be a part of us, forever in our lives.
What you are doing now, I guess we’ll never know,
If only God could send pictures so that we could watch you grow!
Please know that you are with us, in everything we do,
And know that we’d still give anything, for one more day with you!
Written by Angela Kern@10/04
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Happy New Year 2005 My sweet sweet angel! Mommy misses you more than you can ever imagine! My heart aches to hold you in my arms! Loving you from afar, always....
Mommy
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Since our loss, we have gone on to have a sub-baby! Her name is Katie. She has brought joy into a world where we never thought we could feel joy again. It's so heartwarming to watch her with her big sister, Hannah, and so sad at the same time! We should be watching THREE, not two, baby girls playing.....
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