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Riley's 3rd birthday would be coming up in 1 week. Has it been that long? I can't picture what he would look like at this age, but I can picture him in Heaven with Jesus and his other family. We all still miss Riley, and Ethan still talks about him. We are making sure that Connor knows that he has an older brother in Heaven waiting for him. Connor will go to Riley's picture in the living room and point and say either...baby or "Rirey" (his version of Riley) :) I want to keep his memory alive in our house. After all he was our baby and our boy's brother. (May 7, 2007) -Mommy
HELD
Natalie Grant
~(Song)~
Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.
Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.
Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?
(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.
A Poem For Riley Oran:
By: Mommy
We knew we would love you forever
From the moment we read the positive.
Our hearts started to beat in time together
I didn't know that in my mind only you'd live.
The news that something was wrong with you
Just tore my heart into
The news that something was wrong with you
Just made me feel so blue....
If only you knew
We tried to stay excited
And keep going on,
I even thought God might heal you
Which helped me stay so strong.
The day you were born
We got the terrible news,
You were our baby born to us
Who would never laugh, cry, or snooze.
We would go to your room with you lying there,
I couldn't help but touch your fuzzy blonde hair.
You were so precious, innocent, and sweet,
I even took a picture of your tiny feet.
My baby boy, Riley, what have we done to you?
This time you have been here with us
Has been so bad for you,
If only you knew....how much we loved you.
Mommy and Daddy had to make a choice.
We had to send you to heaven, you know
We loved you so much we let you go.
Just 2 weeks has passed now
The pain still seems so real.
How did this happen, how?
This is just the way I feel.
In my heart I will love you,
And there you will always be.
In my dreams I will dream of you,
And keep you here with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KNOWING
By: Mommy
Knowing that you are in heaven with Jesus,
I can get through each passing day.
Knowing that you are safe and now perfect,
That is how I find my way.
Knowing that I won't have to see you suffer,
Makes me realize how blessed I am now.
Knowing that Jesus is rocking you slowly,
Gives me peace that I will get through this somehow.
Knowing that I will see you again,
Is my hope through all of the years.
Maybe then I can hold that tiny hand in mine,
And there will be no more pain or tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heaven's Angel
By: Mommy
Heaven's Angel is now 7 weeks old,
I wonder if he has been playing on the streets of Gold??
Heavel's Angel now can hear....
And Someday soon he will be very near.
Heaven's Angel was here with me for only awhile,
Yet when I think of him it just makes me smile.
He was my gift sent from God above,
And he took him back, but gave me a memory to love.
The Joy and the Pain both make me cry,
Even though Heaven's angel will always be nearby.
In my mind and in my heart.....
Riley and I are never very far apart.
I just have to think of him and where he is now,
And everything seems ok some how....
Isn't it somthing what God will allow??
~~~~~~~~~~
A Mother's Love
By: Mommy
A Mother's love for her child will never end;
It's like each new tomorrow is right around the bend.
The days just keep coming
No matter what you do.....
My mind is racing and my heart is humming,
When all of my thoughts suddenly turn to you.
I need to talk about you,
And I need people to understand.
That I am not going to turn away,
Just reach out and take my hand.
"Yes, I have two children, you see...."
"One in heaven, and one here on earth with me!"
Please don't gasp and say you are sorry,
And then turn away like there was somthing you shouldn't have said.
I love to talk about my baby,
And no, it is not somthing that I dread.
A Mother's love just works that way,
I can talk about my kids most any day.
A Mother's love is something to behold,
If you looked in her heart, there you would find a piece of gold.
A piece of gold that fits two lockets,
One for Ethan, and one for Riley,
Sitting here in my hearts pocket.
Wow what a beautiful day!
I never thought I would be able to look back and say....
Wow what a beautiful day!
I can see you now,
Giving me a goofy little grin.
And I know this is how,
A mother's heart you'd win.
I will see you again,
The day that God chooses for me.
I really can't wait for that blessed day,
When we will be together for Eternity!
~~~~~~~~
Happy First Birthday
5-15-05
Happy Birthday
It has been exactly one year since you
were born and since you died.
It was such an emotional time for me;
And I remembered how I cried.
We should be giving you a Birthday cake today,
but instead we are headed to your grave.
We should be enjoying your special "day",
but one year ago your life they could not save.
It still hurts today just as much as the day I lost
you.
I will always love you; this much I know to be true.
Riley, I am sorry I couldn't make you better...
Sometimes I feel like it was all because of me.
That is why I am writing this letter...
And this is what I need to see.
You were my heart ripped from my chest.
Yet people keep telling me that I am sill blessed.
My life has changed in so many ways,
And that's the way it is going to stay.
I will always have a hole in here --> (my heart)
Because I lost my baby that was so dear.
I can never replace you,
And I will always love you.
You were my baby boy,
And when I lost you there was no joy.
Now there is life growing inside again,
And my heart is eventually going to mend.
Happy Birthday, Riley Oran,
Rest in Peace....in Heaven with HIM.
I love you,
Mommy
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