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Cadynce was born on January 12th, to parents that prayed and awaited for her arrival for a very long time. Her middle name came from her Godmother Sylvia Lee Melissa Richardson. On the morning of her birth I had to be induced because my doctor was going on vacation, and I didn't want anyone else to deliver her. She arrived at 7:48p.m. that evening. She immediately wasn't breathing, and they couldn't get her to breathe for several minutes. She finally began to breathe and they took her away to try to get her to eat because they saw some abnormalities in her, so they said.
Later that evening my husband and I fell asleep and were woke up at 2:00a.m. to see our one and only daughter. They wheeled me in to see her and we couldn't believe how beautiful she was. She looked just like my husband. They had told us that she had started to regurgitate her milk, and they couldn't get her to eat. They wanted to transfer her to a local city hospital where they had specialists that could help her better. So at 9:00 that morning, the ambulance came to get her, and we followed.
Later that day they had a geneticist look at her and she had determined to her own knowledge that she diagnosed her with Brach Mann De Lange Syndrome. It is a very rare syndrome that causes mental retardation, eating disorders, etc....
She went for a week not eating right and only being fed through a G-Tube that was inserted through her mouth into her stomach, but she was doing fine. Then they had a stomach surgeon come in and exam her and decided that she needed a G-Button that needed to be surgically put into her little belly so we could feed her through that instead of this tube that was in her mouth.
So we waited while they operated, praying because they told us that she might not make it because of her little closed nasal passage. The 3 1/2 hour sugery that was only supposed to take 45 minutes was finally over and it was a success, and the feeding process was going great. She was tolerating the feedings and the outlook was good.
They had a heart specialist come in and exam her because they wanted to know why she was regurgitating. They found an opening that wasn't like it was supposed to be. So I immediately got on the phone with my grandma and she alerted the prayer warriors at her church in Florida to pray for my baby. Well a couple days went by and he examined her again, miraculously it was gone, because we prayed and prayed for it.
4 days before she was supposed to come home she contracted RSV. Her oxygenation went down immediately and they couldn't get it to come back up. She went to isolation for 3 days and still was not doing good, so they wanted to transfer her to a children's hospital that was 2 1/2 hours away. She went on that Friday. They asked if we wanted her to go through ECMO. Which is a tube that is inserted in her artery so that a machine will oxygenate her blood for her, but the risks were high, so we decided not too. We thought that if the Lord wanted her it would be by him only not a machine. The chances weren't good for her survival anyway because of the RSV, her little 4 pd 11 ounce body just couldn't hold on very much longer. Her weight at birth was 5 lbs 6 ounces. That Saturday there was chances of her still recovering. We called our pastors and we had prayer right there in the room, playing worship music and everything. We really thought that she was going to be okay. By Sunday we had about 3 hours of sleep.
Sunday she flat lined for the first time, they woke us up in the parent sleep rooms. We witnessed 2 doctors and 6 nurses, pump our baby back to life. I was hysterical, and my husband held me to keep me from falling.
That Monday they asked us if we just wanted to pull the ventilator on her, but her heart was beating on its own, so we couldn't take her life, if she was going to go it was going to be by Jesus not us. That evening she flat-lined again, and we decided to have them bring her back again. Subconsciously I think that I thought then that doctors could keep her alive, and I wanted them to so bad, because I wanted her so bad.
Her heartbeat was 135bpm, but her oxygenation level went to 0. They let me hold her, and I did for 1 1/2 hours, telling her mommy was letting her go. She stayed and wouldn't go. I screamed and cried and couldn't understand why she didn't want to go to Jesus.
My husband told me it was okay that I could go to sleep and he would watch over her. And he did, even though he had only like 3 hours of sleep in the last 2 and 1/2 days, but he wanted his special time with her alone, reading her first little bible to her over and over again, singing to her, and praying for a miracle. While I was sleeping he stayed with her all night watching her oxygen level and heartbeat drop, he came into the room and told me I needed to come say goodbye to our baby girl because she wasn't wanting to stay any longer. I walked in, no apron, no gloves, I wanted to feel by baby's skin against mine. I picked up her head and held her hand and whispered in her ear. "Mommy loves you, and it is okay, sweetie" "you can go with Jesus". She passed away, and I took a breath to talk again, and she came back, she came back to listen to her mommy. I told her that she had to pick out her next brother and sister, and that I would always love her. She passed again, and I took another breath and she came back, I held her close laid my lips on her forehead, and said "Jesus she is yours, you can have her" I love you my angel baby, I will see you soon. Then she went and never came back.
I didn’t even know that she was gone until the nurse told me, because I felt her all around and inside of me, so it was like that she was still there. I finally got to hold her no tubes, no cords, just my baby. Our pastors even did her dedication to Lord with us, even though we knew she was already there then I rocked her, and screamed, because my flesh couldn't understand. But Jesus gave me an ultimate peace, and I let her go to the rest of my family, some family that never got to hold her like her God mother her namesake, Sylvia. My one grandma never did get to hold her grand baby, I am so sorry Grandma. Please forgive me. My husband and I left, and packed to go home, home to a house that never got to have the baby there. A brother that never got to know his sister.
Her funeral was beautiful and she was dressed in a white dress with crosses on it. With a beautiful bow in her long brown curly hair. She was so peaceful. That night I spent the night in the church with her, and the next morning I had to let her body go. My dad had to pull me away from her, because I made them open the lid one more time, and I couldn't leave her. When we laid her to rest we set purple, pink, and white balloons off to her in the sky. They disappeared so fast like she had grabbed everyone of them for herself, I just smiled, looked up to the sky, and said "I love you Cadynce, wait for me, I will see you soon".
We know now that Cadynce was angel that was sent from the Lord to answer prayers that we had been needing for a long time to be answered. Part of the so called sydrome that she had never showed up on any of her chromosome or internal tests. The only evidence that she had was excessive muscle tissue on her back, and if you think about it, angels need more muscle to carry their beautiful, big wings. She just forgot to get rid of the muscle before she came down. We also feel in our hearts that she offered to do this for us knowing the pain that it would cause, but the end result would be and is now miraculous. She brought her daddy and mommy closer together. She made them better parents. And most importantly, our relationship with God is undividable and unbreakable, because we too, will now spend the rest of our lives with Jesus, our son and future children, and our selfless, beautiful angel, Cadynce Lee Melissa Holbrook.
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