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McKenzie was my 8th child that I have in heaven. She was stillborn due to the cord around her neck in a knot. She was born 2-24-00 at 8:20am, 4lbs, 8oz and 19 inches.
The day I found out that I was pregnant I was scared to death, due to with my x husband I had 6 miscarriages and I was so afraid that I was going to lose this baby too. I told McKenzie’s Daddy when he got home from work and he looked me dead in the eye and told me that I have ruined his life forever because he never wanted children; I said well it does take two.
My pregnancy was very stressful due to not really having the support of McKenzie’s Dad, I felt that I was going through this by myself, but I had friends that were there for me helping me. I was put on bed rest very early on due to a lot of swelling that I had and also I had a placenta previa.
The day was like any other day. I went to Wal-Mart on 2-22-00 to buy some things for the hospital and for some reason she was kicking me harder than ever I was doubling over in pain so I had my friend Jodie bring me back home.
I took a nap for about 2 hours and got up and went to the doctors for my last ultra sound. The girl Monica that did all the ultra sounds, I knew something was wrong because of her face and she told me she had to get the nurse. When the nurse came in and she showed her the ultra sound is when they told me that my baby girl was no longer alive. I was shocked, I didn't know what to do, I wanted to die and be with my daughter. I asked God why did you take her from me!
I had one nurse drive me home and the other drove my car, we all walked into my house and McKenzie’s Dad was there and they told him what had happened. I had to wait until 2-24 to have her due to there was no opening at any hospital for me to have her!! I remember sitting in the living room by myself and rubbing my belling and feeling her inside of me. I thought a few times she was kicking me but it was my mind playing tricks on me.
On 2-24 we went to the hospital very early and they put me in a room all by myself away from the other Mommy’s that were having live babies. My best friend Pam who is McKenzie’s God Mother came to the hospital with us and she was there when they let me see McKenzie for the first time, she held her as well and I don't know what I would have done without her being there with me, she was a blessing!
We spend awhile with her then they took me to my room which was a different floor then the Mommy's were with all there new babies. Then they let us see her again and we had her blessed that night. I stayed in the room all by myself, I didn’t have anyone stay with me and I went home the next day. The ride home from the hospital was dead silence; I still could not believe that she was gone and that I was going home without my baby.
Her bedroom was set up for over a year; I made a memory book of her and wrote many poems about here. I also made up albums of her and gave them out to family members and 1 family member I will leave nameless threw the album away because this person told me they couldn’t look at her. Which to this day still hurts me that this person did that. They could have just mailed it back instead of throwing it in the trash. A day never goes by that I don't think of her. I have her Urn in our living room with Angels all around her and I know that she is with me everyday and watching over us.
I have moved on from Her Dad and have remarried my best friend Steve is such a caring and loving man. From the time we have been together he has wrote a letter to McKenzie in heaven every year on her birthday, he also buys her a dozen pale pink roses as well. He has said to me many of time that even though he isn’t her father by blood he’s her father in his heart and if she were alive today he would make her his own. He has even told people that he has a daughter in heaven. For a man to say that tells you something about him.
Though it's been 8 years she has been gone, she is never forgotten!
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