Amber Jade Smeaton born asleep 21st December 2004

Caroline and Michael celebrate Amber's life. Born still but still born.
Amber Jade

Mummy and Amber

 
This site is in memory of my daughter. Please understand that what is said here is my own personal feelings and thoughts. These thoughts are just some of the things that go through my head. I put them down here so that other people who have gone through a loss know that they aren't alone, that what they feel and think is a normal part of the process. The pain you feel when you lose a child like I lost Amber affects all aspects of your life, and there is no right or wrong way to react to the loss. All feelings and thoughts that I have expressed here are all perfectly normal, it's just that I am making them public knowledge and not bottling them up for only the nearest and dearest. Do not take this to heart or too personally if you know me. Just read, accept, respect that these things went through my head at times, and move on with it. I don't expect anyone to understand what it is like, unless you have been through this. But I do expect a the respect to heal in my own time and at my own pace, not someone elses. Thank you.

Please understand my need to talk
Of the path I have been chosen to walk
That my child is a part of me
And will be from now, until eternity

I need to talk of the pain I feel
And how that pain is unbearable still
But not mentioning her name hurts even more
Don’t try to avoid me, or slip out the door.

My daughter has taught me some wonderful things
With each passing day and new lesson she brings
She may not be here in a physical way
But I carry her close to my heart every day

Please mention her wonderful name to me
Because my child, she will always be
As you do a smile you will see
When you acknowledge her as part of my family.


Some children come into our lives and go quickly
Some children come into our lives and leave footprints
Some oh so small
Some a little larger
Some, larger still
But all have left their footprints on our lives, in our hearts, and we will never, never be the same


Born asleep at 8.33am on Tuesday 21st December 2004 after going into premature labour at 32 weeks and 1 day gestation.

Dear Lord,
I was going to sit my child on my lap
And tell them all about You
Since I never had that chance
Can you sit my child your lap
And tell them all about me?
 

 

baby2

 

baby3

 
A is for angelic, for the angel that you are
M is for the memories that your Daddy and I share
B is for beautiful, that you were born to be
E is for eternal, the love in our hearts for thee
R is for remembering you, what we do each and
every day
J is for the joy that you give us every day
A is for acceptance which we hope for each day
D is for our daughter, what you will always be
E is for everlasting, the pain we hold for thee.

Put all these letters together and our daughter Amber Jade you will see.

Fly

Sung by Celine Dion
From the CD "Falling Into You"

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wing of Heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this memory bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light


Never to see your beautiful smile or your perfect eyes. Forever in our hearts and never to be forgotten.



Food I Love: Cc's and dip
Marshmallows
Food I Hate: Red Meat
 

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Last updated Saturday, December 20, 2008
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