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http://www.babycenter.com/bbs/4298/thread639/mess
age3.html I am sure most,if not all of you by now
know of our tragic story of losing our sweet Kyla
T to a pool drowning just 3 months ago! Kyla
would be 21/2 now and i am sure would be speaking
more of the 500+ words she already spoke! We are
hoping to add another bundle of love into our
hearts to share stories of his/her big sister!
"The air of summer was sweeter than
wine."..Longfellow Remember Remember me when I am
gone away, gone far into the silent land: when
you can no more hold me by the hand, nor I half
turn to go yet turning sta. remember me when no
more day by day you tell me of our future that
you planned: Only remember me;you understand It
will be late to counsel then or pray. Yet if you
should forget me for awhile and afterwards
remember, do not grieve: for if the darkness and
corruption leave a vestige of the thoughts that
once I had, Better by far you should forget and
smile than that you should remember me and be
sad. --Christina Georgina
Rossetti
I dreamed for you for all my life, And one day
you finally arrived. So happy, Giving us your
'big hugs' and making mommy and daddy kiss each
other and then you. You loved all the animals we
had and all the zoo animals too. I am no longer
jealous that there were times you wanted your
daddy or big sisters more than me. 'cos i always
knew i had the biggest part in your heart too, as
you hold in mine. Then one day, you vanished, and
were left to breathe on machines, you were never
there, and we had to let you go.. We will always
love you, my sweet little 'punky-girl'
Please~ Please, don't ask me if I'm over it yet.
I'll never be over it. Please, don't tell me
she's in a better place. She's not with me.
Please, don't say she isn't suffering.
I haven't come to terms as to why she had to
suffer at all.
Please don't tell me you know how I feel. Unless
you have lost a child. Please don't ask me if I
feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
Please don't tell me atleast you had her for
several years. What year would you choose your
child to die? Please don't say god never gives
you more than you can handle.
Please, just say your sorry. Please, just say
you'll remember my child. Please, just let me
talk about my child PLease, mention my child.
Please, just let me cry!!!!
No words capture her No quote suffices No image
is complete Yet she was Yet she is Yet she will
be Forever
Monday, March 24, 2003 The sun shines today And
the air is warm Last year this time pappy was
here Visiting you. But no pappy visiting this
year He came while you lay dying And no you this
year Five whole months have gone Already some
forget Most moved on Daddy and I try And we will
move on But we will never forget I try not to
remember That day I only want to remember you
Being happy Singing and dancing Picking
dandelions in the yard I can handle these happy
tears I cry
I cannot handle the sad/angry ones When those
visions appear I want those gone I want you back
I can�t and won�t get you back
I know I want a baby brother or sister for you
So bad it hurts. Mommy has so much more love to
give Well my Ky, I�m sending you a balloon
today I don�t know where you are If you
�are� anywhere
But the air is warm And the sun is shining And I
feel the need to take time To remember you My
sweet little punky girl!
Missing You
No words I write can ever say, How much I miss
you everyday. As time goes by the loneliness
grows, How I miss you...nobody knows.
I think of you in silence, I often speak your
name
. But
all I have are memories, And a photo in frame.
No one see's me weep.
But the love I have for you, Is in my heart and
mine to keep.
I never stopped loving you, I don't think I ever
will.
Deep inside my heart, You are with me still.
Heartaches this world are many, But mine is worse
than any.
My heart still aches as I whisper low, "I need
you....and miss you so."
The things we feel so deeply, Are often the
hardest things to say. But I just can't keep
quite anymore, So I'll tell you anyway. There is
a place in my heart, That no one can fill. I love
you...and I always will. ~Author Unknown~
COME CLOSER~ ~AUTHOR UNKNOWN~ Come closer, can
you hear the pain? My heart can tell you thing
that my mouth cannot utter. The mask I wear shows
a smile. It says that I am fine. But the pain
deep within. You were taken so quickly, there was
no time for good-bye. In one quick breath, your
life was gone. Why? Seasons come, bringing forth
flowers' bloom. Seasons go and blossoms wane.
You, dear child, live in my heart, and there, you
will never die. Come closer, come closer, listen
to my heart. I remember; I will always remember.
You are there.
It must be very difficult to be a man in grief.
Since "men don't cry" and no tears can bring
relief. It must be very difficult to stand up to
the test. And hold calls and visitors so she can
get some rest. They always ask if she's all right
and what she's going through. But seldom takes
his hand and asks "My friend, how are you?" He
hears her crying in the night and thinks his
heart will break And dries the tears and comforts
her But "stays strong" for her sake It must be
very difficult to start each day anew And try to
be so very brave He lost his baby too......
~Author Unknown~
Now it is six whole months today Since you
slipped under the water And left us this way
The time It goes by slow Oh lil� one of mine
Why did you go?
The time, It can go so fast
Oh lil one of mine How long will this pain last?
You went on a �trip� with us All the way to
Georgia
But this time you didn�t make a fuss Because it
was just your urn, lil Kyla!
You would have bossed around Riley, the older And
loved on new Keagan baby I hope one day you can
look over the shoulder Of a sibling we give you
one day,
maybe Six whole months since your drowning And
we only have video and pictures of you now When I
view them, I�m not always frowning Because you
are always with us, some how.
Thursday,April 24,2003 (6mo)
It is raining steady outside,
Like my tears, ever flowing.
Are you weeping with me? Do you miss mommy? The
thunder pounds,
Like my heart does when I think of �That day�
Lightening flashes,
Like your life being struck away. The air is
cool, Like your skin when I touched you.
Like my heart when I found you, In that dang
pool. The way you looked that pale shade of blue.
Oh how I wish you just pulled through.
Weather Amongst all the rain, twisters and
floods I felt it all inside The flooding and
drowning of rain/water being dumped mixed w/my
tears And my emotions twisting up in knots inside
my gut And my heart.
Just like a tornado I want to be a tornado, to
rip through the earth and sky..
And to just disappear Like it never even
happened� And leave behind so many memories of
YOU
But today there was a touch of sun I felt its
warmth on the back of my neck Like your arms
clutching me closer Afraid of the storms Afraid,
of anything, just wanting me near
Oh what storm it has been My love My emotions
change oh too much, Just like the weather.
Mothers Day is here And my birthday has passed
It has been 7 months since you drowned And I no
longer have a mother
And I no longer have a child
For I am a motherless child A childless mother
Searching for some warmth Understanding
Remembrance Of the both of you
Who held so much So dear To my heart
Father's day,
it's just like mother's day? ' Is it not?
I'm told to 'do' things.. b
ut hey.. isnt this 'my' day? I had you too, I
lost you too?
Did i not? where is my baby girl? who cried 4
daddy on his lunch breaks..?
who wanted me to be 'the tiger' crawling on my
hands and knees?
making a tent and making 'mean means'? My lil
girl is now gone, i hurt not less than her mom..
no one looks at me the same they only say my
name..
kyla, your name does not belong no longer in
daddy's world.. but please, my sweet lil girl..
you remain... always.. with me!
We did it, Kyla's gonna be a big sis! baby due
feb11th! Please visit my new baby brother or
sister's site! It is hard to believe a whole year
has passed. I miss you no less than the last.
Though baby brother is coming soon, In my heart,
you'll always loon. I think of you every day. To
me, my love, you'll never go away. KYla is gonna
be a big sister again! Little sister, Zilya Faye
is due to arrive March '05
http://konorchance.aboutmybaby.com Konor's
website www.zilyafaye.com Zilya was born 3/10/05,
with lots of hair, blue eyes, 6lbs 14oz 18.5" ---
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I lay in bed on a dark, stormy night I drift off
to sleep, my mind takes flight I dream of places
far and near I wish you could be here. I hear
your voice and see your smile I wish it would
last a little while I sometimes wonder if you
ever knew... That I lay in my bed, dreaming of
you. ~ Melissa Doyle
Just stopping by baby to update your page so it
doesn't get deleted..again. Miss you always.
~2/20/06 wow, baby punky girl..hard to believe
you've been gone this long now. oh how my life
has changed..you're still thought of or spoke
about happily daily. Your lil brother Konor, can
now say your name..well sort of...but...he knows
you in pictures baby...! 4/11/6...this past sat
marked 3.5yrs since you drown..and this coming
friday marks the exact age of konor as you when
drown...from here on out..new world..
Well, here I am again...4yrs now since you drown.
Wow, time is flying by. Your brother and sister
are doing great, and I worry about them daily.
You're still with me baby, always.
Wow, I don't frequent here...and it is amazing to
know it exists...5 years?? how can that be? I'm
sad that I can't think of many thing about you.
How many memories in 2.5 yrs can a person hold
onto? That makes me sad. However punky...it
doesn't mean that I don't hold onto them.. that I
don't think of you daily, that your lil brother
or sister don't now talk about you like they knew
you. For you do live on in them then. THey know
of your death and are aware. They always will,
trust me baby.
I'm just scared cos my memories are just that of
death or pictures... But there is no way I'll
ever let you go. sometimes,like today, I'm taken
aback by a question about you...cos I feel like
i've said it enuff/ so many times..or most know
by now. But there will always be the new people,
esp since I 'advertise'..what do I expect?
anyways, no, still won't ever be over
you..neither will ur daddy. and yes your big
sisters and lil bro/sis love and miss you soooooo
much. It is hard to imagine I'm a mom of a
'would be 7yr old. How would I be? what school
would you be in? How smart would you be? we
assumed very...but.. I dunno baby, your bro Konor
is topping the charts these days..hee he.. But
perhaps you'd be teaching him a thing or three.
I am still yet determined to have yet one last
child. some say crazy.. but I did want
three...living.....but don't ever take it that
I'm replacing you!!! I'm just not done...
daddy maybe tho.
and we talked about fostering kids...again
tonite.. Last year woulda been better, more
room...Might have to wait til the older girls
are gone first.
what can I say? I love my kids, all kids and I
just can't stop... If I were as fertile as my one
friend...well I'd be the same way.. hee he..
Happy holidays babe....Happy solstice..
I kknow, we never did 'xmas' w/you either..but I
guess giving in this yr....for pagan non
religious reasons.
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