Franchesca Rose and Olivia Ann, born Saturday, October 09, 2004

In Loving Memory of our Beautiful Girls
Franchesca Rose and Olivia Ann

Olivia & Franchesca

 
Franchesca Rose was born into heaven at 11:17 PM and she weighed 4lb 5oz and was 16 inches long.

Olivia Ann was born into heaven at 11:41 PM and she weighed 2lb 12oz and was 16 inches long.

Our angels were 30 weeks2days and taken from us by Twin Twin Transfusion Syndrome.

At our first office visit we learned it would be twins, they were 5weeks6days then. At our 19 week ultrasound we found out it would be girls! We were so excited~ I think Dave was a little scared. At a level 2 ultrasound we found out they would most likely be identical because they were sharing one placenta. We were also told that we would be watched more closely because of something called Twin Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS).

The weeks were flying by and we were getting more excited with each kick. At 26 weeks I was told I was gestational diabetic and I would need to control my diet so the girls wouldn't get to too big. At 28 weeks I had another ultrasound and everything was great. The girls were 2lb 12oz (Franchesca) and 2lb 10oz (Olivia) and they were in the 50% percentile. The next week and a half were uneventful but we were enjoying everything and anticipating our upcoming baby shower.

On October 2-3rd we had our last great adventure-we visited my sister at college for her family weekend- we even stayed in the dorms. How exciting to take my babies to college- I had dreamed about this. On Sunday I had started to notice that the babies were not moving as much as normal but I wasn't sure because we had been doing a lot that day. We had our multiples class on Monday night (10/4) so I mentioned to the instructor that I had not felt the babies as much as I normally do- she recommended calling the doctor- So we did and went to the hospital to be checked. The placed me on a monitor and the babies movements were checked. According to the monitor their heartbeats were great and they were moving like crazy. I still couldn't feel 90% of their movements and an ultrasound was NOT done. The hospital sent me home with instructions to call my doctor in the morning.

I called my office in the morning and they told me that the instructions I was given were more for pre-term labor and that I should do kick counts until I came in on Friday. Wednesday was ok- my kick counts were good- but I was starting to feel pain in my thighs. Thursday, Dave flew to California for his brother's wedding- my kick counts were still good. Thursday night I was dreaming of Christmas morning with our girls- how great it would be! I looked down at my belly and it looked different, like someone had moved significantly- only I didn't feel it. I said to them don't move...you were in the right position! That night for some reason I prayed my heart out. I prayed that God would protect my husband as he traveled home from California in a few days because I couldn't do this alone. I also prayed that God would keep my girls safe and healthy. I think in some ways God might have answered my prayers that night by taking my babies to heaven. Friday, I went to my routine office visit for my 30 week checkup. I was shocked to see that I had gained 13 1/2 lbs in 2 weeks but that didn't seem to alarm anyone. After talking to the doctor for a little while she started to listen for the babies’ heartbeats. She was having a difficult time finding them and said sometimes it’s common when they get bigger. I wasn't worried at the time because at an earlier visit they had trouble finding the heartbeats. She recommended doing an ultrasound to check. The ultrasound tech said we would take a 5 minute break halfway through since I wouldn't be able to lie down for as long as before. After a little while- I think I asked if she could see their heartbeats and she said she was looking for them. We took our break and she left the room. She returned with the doctor and the OB nurse. I immediately knew that something was wrong because this never happened. The doctor looked at the ultrasound and told me the worst news of my life. They couldn't find either heartbeat, Baby A had all the fluid and Baby B had none- we had Twin Twin Transfusion Syndrome. I looks like I lost both babies and I needed to go to the hospital because they had better machines to know for sure. They didn't think it looked good but I was still hopefully. Now I had to make the worst phone calls of my life. The doctor recommended that I call my parents first since they could meet me at the hospital and someone could be with me. Next I had to call Dave in California. I can't even remember what I said but I do remember asking him if he was sitting down then told him he should be.

I was driven to the hospital and admitted for “potential fetal demise” God how I hated how that sounded. Another ultrasound was done and it was confirmed by the perinatologist that both my babies had gone to heaven. I called Dave again to tell him it was real and not a dream. He decided to come home to be with me and they would induce me in the morning after he arrived. My family was by my side all night while we waited for Dave to safely return from California. I was so nervous about him flying. I had just lost my babies and I was afraid to lose my husband. Thank God the Demerol helped me sleep. When Dave arrived they started the pitocin and we waited. Later in the day they gave me cervidil to soften my cervix since the pitocin wasn’t helping me progress. Around 7PM the doctor broke my water and the real labor started. Soon the Demerol wasn’t enough so they gave me a spinal block and epidural.

With my husband by my side I gave birth to two beautiful girls who never breathed a single breath. Our babies never cried, never opened their beautiful eyes but they are our babies just the same and we love them even more with each passing day.

We our so glad our families got to meet and hold Franchesca and Olivia. Our girls were held by their grandparents, aunts and uncle. We were able to spend as much time as we wanted and we took lots of pictures of our little family. For every moment is a memory for us and we treasure each and everyone.
 

 

Mommy and her angels

 

Daddy and his girls

 
Written with everlasting love from your mommy

~Not on Earth~
Not on Earth
But in my heart
Safe and Warm

Not on Earth
But on my mind
Memories flooding each and every time

Not on earth
But still in my soul
A place to live and grow

Not on earth
But my love for you will always grow
Not on earth
But my daughters you will always be

Not on earth
But basking in heaven’s glow
Twin angels forever together you’ll be

Not on earth
But guided by God’s holy light
You’ll always be safe ‘cause you’re in heaven

Not on earth
But my love for you will always grow
Because you live in my heart, my mind and my soul
~Bridgette Como~
11/13/04

~Angel Babies~
Angel Babies in heaven above
Mommy and Daddy send you our love
Please send us your heavenly kisses
Angel Babies in heaven above
Please guide with your everlasting love
For we will always send you our love


~What Makes A Mother~
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "what Makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say,
"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?

"Yes, you can," he replied
With confidence in his voice
"I give many women babies
When they leave it is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay."
I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear

"I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say,
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear
My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much
love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillows where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I am here"'

"So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lessons are through
And on the day you come home
they'll be at the gates for you

So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Though some on earth
May not realize
Until their time is done
Remember all the love you have
And know that you are
A Special Mom"
~Author Unknown~


~Footprints~
How very softly
you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently,
only for a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint
your foosteps have left
upon my heart.
~Dorothy Ferguson~


~Precious In God's Eyes~
The lily only lasts a day
but God creates it anyway.
All that work to make a flower
then it's gone, it had it's hour.

Even though your baby died,
He is still precious in God's eyes.
Your child came and made his mark
He changed your life and touched your heart.

Upon his death, to heaven he soared,
Here for a moment, now with the Lord.
~ Gail Fasolo ~


If I could have a lifetime wish,
A dream that would come true,
I'd pray to God with all my heart
for yesterday and you.
A thousand words can't bring you back;
I know because I've tried.
And neither will a million tears,
I know because I've cried.
You left behind a broken heart
And happy memories too.

I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.
~Author Unknown~


An Angel In The Book Of Life
Wrote Down My Babys Birth
And Whispered As She Closed The Book
"Too Beautiful For Earth"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. "

Two precious angels slipped away, no one heard a cry.
No time for Dad and Mommy to sing us lullabies.
Our time with you was much too short.
We had to leave too soon,
But love had joined us as we grew inside our Mommy's womb.
It wove it's way within our hearts, in all our hopes and dreams,
Until the very purest love became our tiny wings.
Although we could not stay with you,
we knew right from the start,
That once you felt your angel's love,
you'd keep us in your hearts.
We’re just little angels now,
but our time was not in vain.
As dark clouds that surround you give way unto the sun,
Our precious parents you will see that any heart will sing,
If only for a moment it is brushed by angel wings
~Author Unknown ~
 

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Our Favorite Links:
Twin Twin Tranfusion Syndrome Foundation

Center for Loss in Multiple Birth
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