Making the Transition to Child Number Two, Three or More
When you bring home your first baby you probably think that life couldn’t be any better. You have your partner and this beautiful, new bundle of joy to love and care for. You have to worry about the needs of this one new little person, but other than that, life hasn’t changed “too” much and isn’t too difficult. When you get pregnant again however you may start worrying about how you will do it with more than one baby. Can you love the second one as much as the first? How will you give your first the time and attention he needs now that you have two? And what happens when you have your third or forth child?
You Will Love Them The Same
You have so much love in you for your first baby. You probably never imagined that you could love another person as much as you love your baby. You may be asking yourself now, how in the world could you love this new baby as much as your first child. Well not only is it possible, but it is very probably. The love a parent feels for their child can not be described adequately to someone who is not a parent themselves. This love is able to multiply, grow, and mirror itself in all your children. You may find it hard to believe before your baby is born, but you will find that you feel the same amount of love for your new baby as you did for your first.
Spreading out Moms Attention
It is a fact — newborns need A LOT of attention. Not only that, but they can be pretty boring, at least to an older siblings eyes. A toddler may see the new baby as a “thing that just eats, sleeps and cries”, but somehow manages to monopolize all of their mommy’s time, so that mommy can’t play anymore. In many cases this is true. With a newborn when mom isn’t feeding or changing the baby she is probably cleaning up after the baby, making the next meal, or cleaning the house. When that is done the new baby is probably crying again, ready to eat. The baby is too small to play with his older sibling, and at this point really needs nor wants anything but his mother.
It is important to try to take time to sit and color or play like you did before with your other children. Also try to include them in your effort to take care of their new brother or sister. Ask them to bring you a diaper and wipes, or to pick out an outfit for the baby to wear from the closet. Let them sit next to you while you are feeding the baby and touch the baby’s feet, or hold his hands. If you include your first child it can cut down on the level of resentment that he may feel towards the new baby.
It Will Get Easier
The first six months of your new baby’s life is probably the hardest, not only for you but for your older children as well. Until your new baby can sit, play and interact more with his siblings, he isn’t going to be seen as fun or exciting. However, as soon as your older children are able to play and interact with their baby brother or sister, it can help set and strengthen a bond between them that can not be broken. It won’t be long before your new baby is running around and chasing after his older brothers or sisters.
Adding Number Three, Four or More!
In some areas having your third baby is easier than having your second. By the time you have number three, number one and two are already playing with each other, neither of them demanding too much of your attention. Number one is definitely old enough to help out, and number two might be as well. If your older children are old enough, they might even be able to help set the table, gather laundry and do the dishes. You will also have more little faces to play with, talk to and teach your newborn as he grows.
Making the transition is easier than some would think. After all what choice do you really have? Remember to remain patient with all your kids, and know that your older ones may get a little testy. Show them all as much love as you possibly can, and know that in time, ever obstacle that comes your way, will pass.
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