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Miscarriage – Self Blame

by Ellen M. DuBois, excerpted from “I Never Held You”Who could I blame for this? Did I do something wrong? Did that glass of wine I had before I even knew I was pregnant somehow hurt my baby? Did that slip on the ice have anything to do with it? What about the cigarettes I smoked? Or, or, or..

It’s a very natural thing to blame yourself when you suffer a miscarriage. I did. I wracked my brain in a futile attempt to come up with some answers. Anything. Nothing the doctor said could convince me that there wasn’t something I did to make this happen.

So, I prolonged my suffering. By blaming myself I only made things worse. It was not my fault- just as it’s not your fault that you’ve miscarried. No, that glass of wine or beer you had did not cause your miscarriage. No, the argument you had with your husband did not cause you so much stress that you miscarried. No, the unhealthy food you ate from a fast food restaurant didn’t do it either. Please, stop knocking yourself and blaming yourself for this. I know you need answers. You want some sort of justification for your pain and loss. But, when you continually find, or try to find blame within yourself, you are hurting yourself over and over again…

About the Author
Ellen M. DuBois is a multi-published author in the fiction, nonfiction, inspirational and poetry genres. She resides in Massachusetts, and is also a singer/songwriter. To learn more about Ellen’s books and projects, please visit her website at

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[…] Dehydration isn’t a big worry for most pregnant women, but for some women, it can become quite dangerous. Dehydration for anyone can cause weakness and sickness, but during pregnancy, it can also cause harm to your unborn baby or a spontaneous miscarriage. […]

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